Political jokes about politicians
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Gary Phelps
Jul 4, 2024, 8:31:04 PM7/4/24
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Political jokes about politicians
Q: Why can’t you let a politician on a plane?
A: Because he’ll keep trying to destroy the other wing.
A priest, a politician and a clown walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
A politician running for office was asked about his policy on liquor. He answered, “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the body, ruins the mind, destroys the family and creates criminals, then I’m against it! But if you mean the beautiful drink used for a wedding toast, the foundation of a fun Friday night and the biggest source of tax revenue to fund needy orphans, then I’m for it! And I won’t change my mind, no matter what you say.”
Q: How are politicians like diapers?
A: They both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Q: Why do thieves never target politicians’ homes?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: Why isn’t the government displaying a Nativity scene this Christmas?
A: They can’t find three wise men.
Politicians can find an excuse to get out of anything … except office.
I was arrested for impersonating a politician … but all I was doing was sitting in my office doing nothing!
Q: What is the hardest mythical creature to find?
A: The honest, caring politician who listens and whom everyone will vote for.
A politician is a person who will lay down your life for their country.
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Q: Why can’t you let a politician on a plane?
A: Because he’ll keep trying to destroy the other wing.
A priest, a politician and a clown walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
A politician running for office was asked about his policy on liquor. He answered, “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the body, ruins the mind, destroys the family and creates criminals, then I’m against it! But if you mean the beautiful drink used for a wedding toast, the foundation of a fun Friday night and the biggest source of tax revenue to fund needy orphans, then I’m for it! And I won’t change my mind, no matter what you say.”
Q: How are politicians like diapers?
A: They both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Q: Why do thieves never target politicians’ homes?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: Why isn’t the government displaying a Nativity scene this Christmas?
A: They can’t find three wise men.
Politicians can find an excuse to get out of anything … except office.
I was arrested for impersonating a politician … but all I was doing was sitting in my office doing nothing!
Q: What is the hardest mythical creature to find?
A: The honest, caring politician who listens and whom everyone will vote for.
A politician is a person who will lay down your life for their country.
—
To subscribe to Sailors Clean Humor send blank email to sailors-clean-...@googlegroups.com
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