TALK GIVEN BY: SATYAJIT SALIAN, SwAmI's long time personal caregiver
SAIbalaji
Sairam.
BELOW YOU'LL FIND BOTH THE AUDIO RECORDING AND THE TRANSCRIPTION OF
THE 52 MINUTE TALK GIVEN BY: SATYAJIT SALIAN, MSc, MBA, SAI BABA'S
LONG TIME PERSONAL CAREGIVER.
TOPIC: This talk is called: Sathya Sai, the Divine Sculptor
VENUE: 'Sai Darshan', Indira Nagar, Bangalore, India.
DATE: DEC. 25, 2011
YOUTUBE AUDIO/VIDEO LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZv5rge7KKY
TRANSCRITPION: Follows below
Note: SOULJOURNS IS EXTREMELY GRATEFUL TO THOSE WHO DO ENDLESS SEVA
FOR SOULJURNS, ESPECIALLY "K.R" WHO TRANSCRIBED THIS IMPORTANT TALK.
As the audio is not very clear, the places where it was difficult to
understand have been marked with $$$$$$.
~~~~~~
Om Sri Sai Ram, offering my loving salutations at the lotus feet of my
beloved BABA $$$$$$$$
I also am immensely happy to welcome the youth of all youth, our dear
$$$$$$ Sri Gangadhar shetty garu, $$$$$$$$ example of devotion to
Swami
I am so happy to welcome our state president.
It is said that when the child is happy, God will go that extra mile
to make that child even more happier, it is often said that Swami’s
love is more than the love of a million mothers put together. On this
very special day of the youth of Sai Darshan Swami has gifted us with
a very rare gift, the gift that I am referring to you is our dear
brother Satyajit $$$$$$$ to send his chosen one to address us on this
day that he has chosen to be the youth day for Sai darshan On this
very auspicious day it is our privilege, in fact it is a real massive
moment for us to have brother Satyajit amidst us $$$$$$$$$$$
The topic he has chosen for the evening is Sai – The Divine sculptor.
Om Sri Sai Ram, Offering my loving salutations at the lotus feet of my
beloved Swami, Esteemed $$$$$$$$$$ very very revered elders, dear
brothers and sisters. It is a very emotional moment for me to be
standing here in the august gathering. Sai darshan has had a long
streak of memories with me. Swami’s visit to this place in so many
years that I had the good fortune of being with him, the meticulous
planning that used to go on with Murthy sir coming and taking very
very minute instructions from Swami in Trayee Brindavan regularly,
Swami coming here every year without fail in those wonderful years,
what a pleasure it used to be. The step there used to be my designated
place, listening to Swami from behind, the wonderful, absolutely and
Swami $$$$$$$$$ used to feel, the wonderful the absolutely fantastic
language of Kannada that we used to get to hear of Krishna and
Narada, exchanging jokes amongst themselves and most beautifully, the
most beautiful of it all used to the ride back home where Swami used
to be continuously talking about the long association which Swami has
had with this wonderful city, with Sai Darshan especially and how he
used to keep talking about the drama that he has seen and make it a
point to drive home the fact that this was being done by ‘Beeda
Pillalu’, ‘anta beeda pillalani enta baaga train chestaru choodu’(In
English this means – See how well they train the economically deprived
children). All those memories start rushing in and create a sense of
Euphoria in the heart. I had the good fortune now to go and offer the
naivedyam up there in that small dining hall where Swami had so many
lunches with the divine mothers serving Swami with all love. This is a
blessed place and it is wonderful to be here once again.
I have chosen the topic Sai – the divine sculptor to weave together
the experiences that I have had with my beloved lord $$$$$$$$$ got
picked up from the wayside, can only look back with love and gratitude
at the divine master that has, who has patiently, lovingly yet
chipping off the unwanted facets of this rock. I used to be very
fascinated by a beautiful sculptor of Rodin called The Thinker, most
of you would have seen it, it’s a beautiful idol of a man sitting deep
in thought, He is supposed to be involved in deep philosophical
thought and I often used to wonder what is this man thinking about,
obviously this man must be thinking about the maker who has spent so
much time and energy in sculpting that piece and it is with that
gratitude that I take you through the journey of this rock taking you
on to the autobiography of this rock we used to write, like we used to
write essays in our school days Autobiography of XYZ. The first
process of sculpture is obviously is for the sculptor to pick out the
rock and mark it for future sculpting exercise and this he has done
write back in 1991 when I was just 4 days old as a student of
Bhagwan, I was fresh from Bombay, $$$$$$$$$ and we were having
breakfast in the hostel, they were serving idlis and I commented to a
friend Sai Krishna right in front of me, “kya yaar sirf chaar chaar
idli dete hain, ghar mein das das idli khaata tha” What is this they
are giving just four idlis I used to eat ten at home, this was just a
comment I made to the ear of my friend so that even the teacher who
was serving was not able to hear it.
We had sumptuous breakfast went and sat in darshan in the beautiful
Trayee under the Ashoka tree, I was in the fourth or the fifth row
right in front of the Trayee door, and Bhagwan came out, he came down,
glided down the stairs, took a few steps there in looked straight at
me and went out to darshan, I was sitting amongst the new boys so and
I started getting nudges from behind, ‘Eh, Swami looked at you, Swami
looked at you’ and I was also feeling yes, Swami looked at me without
knowing what was to come. He went out, he gave darshan to everybody,
he came back and from about 15 feet away, he asked me something that
was the first time that I heard his voice apart from the mic, not not
without the mic I mean I could not catch what he is asking and
suddenly everybody around me bursted into ‘idli Swami, idli Swami’ and
I said okay Swami has asked about the breakfast, Swami came few more
steps ahead and asked, ‘How many idlis?’ I told ‘Swami, 4’ in a matter
of fact answer $$$$$$$$$$$ And he looked straight into my eyes and
said, ‘Dus idli khaata hai?’ Can you hear some kind of sound gooooo
here, that was exactly what was going on in my head I could not hear
what was the next question from Swami, I looked, Sai Krishna was next
to me and I looked at him and I noticed that the eyes would pop out,
with fear absolutely terrified, My god this was the small secret of us
known to all. The small secrets that we have between us is known to
Swami and now known to all.
I said No, Swami, Yes Swami, I did not know what to answer and Swami
told, ‘Badaa Idli, Chota Idli’ and I wanted to be politically correct
So I told Swami patli idli Swami, no mistakes this time Swami said,
‘Eh Jhoot bolta hai and he said, it is Big idli but not thick idli, he
described the exact shape of the idli, he did not have to do all that
but he had pitched, he had put the stamp on it, a mark for sculpting
in the future date. And once he had put the stamp, he felt okay this
rock will last for some time, he decided that he did not $$$$$$ and I
never had any interactions with Swami much during the first five years
of my stay. The first five years of stay, it was very different
experience, there was sculpting going on all around but this rock was
not being sculpted. I still remember we used to have this robe $$$$$$$
a person would go with a groundnut and a person would go with a robe,
myself and a friend of mine $$$$$$$ I had the robe and he had the
groundnuts brother called Sanjay Singh and the way this sculpting goes
on right, so he ignores a rock next to it, the sculpting was going on
with Sanjay Singh and he was talking to Sanjay and I was sitting next
to Sanjay and doing like this, $$$$$$ what was happening, discussion
going on up and down and I thought okay, let me at least take
Padanamaskar, I was holding Swami’s feet and slowly I put my fingers
under his toe slowly tried to and Swami decided okay let me do some
sculpting here as I am talking to this fellow and he pressed my finger
with his toe and that time, I am trying, trying to keep a straight
face with all the agony that the finger is going through and he, I
don’t know how much, how many tones of weight he could put with that
slight frame of his. I think this was one of the very very few
experiences, the interactions that I could have in the first five
years of my stay in the hostel.
And then all of a sudden he decides okay this rock probably is ready
to $$$$$$ i have to start sculpting, have to do hammer and tong on
this guy on and all of a sudden one day in March or February 1996
bhajans are going on and bhajans had already started and some laddoos
were to be distributed and he called Eh boys, come you have to give
laddoos. We were supposed to go inside the interview room and go back
to the kitchen from inside and bring the laddoo basin. This was the
first time in five years that I got a chance, I got picked actually
handpicked, he said eh, you come. So I went inside and while taking
the laddoo out, he told, ‘give the basin to somebody else’, I gave the
basin to him and he told, ‘What do you want?’ First time Swami is
asking me, ‘What do you want?’ I told, ‘Swami nothing’ Eh, $$$$$$$
What do you want? Swami I want only you Swami, Abba, Chaalu Ee
vedantam, then I knelt down, because Swami was asking what do you want
so I have to get my thoughts $$$$$$ I was about to finish my M Sc, and
the panic had set in now, thinking that okay now within few more
months, we will be out of the portals of university, we were Sai
students for 5 years what next, that fear had set in and we had
started running behind Swami’s car, you know for that last glimpse of
Swami before you know we will never get this chance again you know
that kind of fear. Swami told, ‘Kya maangta hai bolo?
I had applied for MBA, I thought this is a nice chance to feel my MBA
I told Swami, MBA mangta hai. Swami literally held my collar and told,
‘Jaao Vice chancellor ko pooch sakta hai. Go, go out. A very clear
vision, the first stroke of the hammer telling which side your eyes
should be pointed, that your first answer was the right one that I
don’t want anything I want only you and suddenly this MBA angle came
and he told go, ask the vice chancellor. We stand under the Meru
mountain and ask for Coffee poodi (Coffee powder). Meru Parvatam
deggara poi coffe poodi adugutaru Buddhi ledu. That was the first
hammer stroke. And then Swami probably thought its time to take this
guy to the workshop to have some $$$$$$$$$ and we were sitting for
bhajans, bhajans were going on in full flow and I was sitting in the
what was then called the Ganesh portico, what is now the area where
the Samadhi is. I was sitting right there and bhajans were going on,
Swami came out, in the middle of the third or fourth bhajan he came
out, straight walked, from the bhajan hall straight walked to me. I
had my application form, still the MBA thing is up, uppermost in my
mind, I held it up and told Swami, ‘Swami, MBA application’ He just
tapped me just to go quite. Very very loudly, ‘Come with me to
Kodaikanal without telling anybody. $$$$$$$$$ come with me to
Kodaikanal don’t tell anybody, loud, the voice still rings in my ears,
in my left ear. By $$$$$$$ I got my first chance to enter the workshop
of the Master sculptor.
It is a youth meet I have been told and I have had the chance of
interacting with the youth in many cities, first of all in Hyderabad
Indore, in Mumbai, in Chennai that I go to next time and in all the
cities there are two strings that are common, there are two strings of
thought that are going in the minds of the youth, how do we deal with
our personal sense of loss after April and secondly how do we motivate
other youth in the organization. This has been a very big struggle for
me too and I have been going in and out of depression for a very long
time. Having been with Swami for so many years, having been under the
hands of the sculptor for so many years the rock feels that the no,
no, sculpting should go on, the sculpting should go on, why are there
no hammer strokes now, so what should you do? Why am I being left
alone? These thought come down very heavily especially in the night.
But he has given an indication that $$$$$$$$ it’s a continuous
process, he had told me the first time he ever spoke to me was in this
year that reverberating sound was $$$$$$$$$$$
It was on the 23rd of April 2011, the day before, having been
optimistic for more than 3 and 3 and half weeks in the ICU, the fear
had started setting in and for some reason I could not sleep on the
whole night 23rd and I was holding Swami’s hand and sitting by him
through out the night. Around 9 o’clock, around 7, 7:30 in the morning
on the 23rd I felt a bit tired and I thought I will take a quick nap,
in fact in the ICU for the first 25 days, the first one week I used to
be with Swami on the bed and when he would go to bed, then go and
sleep in the adjacent room and I used to keep dreaming of Swami as if
he is walking around and he is talking to me, continuous and every
…………of those dreams used to be very vivid, of Swami walking around and
talking after that week even in the dreams I would, see Swami lying on
the ICU bed and a week later all dreams stopped it was only the stark
reality that was there in front and I used to start feeling very sad,
terrible, at least once Swami come in my dream and I need solace and
on the 23rd I had just gone to sleep , just half an hour around 7: 45
I went to sleep, and probably had slept for just three minutes, I was
lying on my left side, and in my right ear as loudly as he was on the
first day was the sound ‘BE CAREFUL’ I jumped out of the bed, ran
towards Swami’s bed and $$$$$$$$$ but he is always there, Bhagwan will
always continue to be there, but we will have to continue to hold on
to those moments, because those are the moments that can keep us
strong, that can keep our spine intact, that can keep us motivated,
that can keep us going, all this transformation is, transformative
movement that Bhagwan has started and hand it down to us to continue.
There were times when I had the opportunity to pray to Swami, ‘Swami
we are not going for morning darshan at all, Swami lets go for one
day, once a week or twice a week lets go for morning darshan, it still
crushes the heart what Swami told, ‘Entha pani chesindi ee sareeram
niku telusa na? Do you know how much this body has worked? Pallelo
thriganu ra? , I have walked at least in this village, Pallelo
thirigana? I have toured village to village. Alisi poindi ra sareeramu
(this body is tired). Then I told Swami it is time for you to rest
Swami, it is for us to work. Am talking to the youth here at least, it
is time for us to work, we will work Swami you sit and see, you sit
and be happy. Be thrilled how we work, how e take what you have taught
us, how we take it into action how we take it fore. These are words,
strong words here, difficult to maintain the tempo, difficult to
maintain the motivation. From Dassehra to Birthday, in the period, I
was down in the dump, my bed never used to be folded, it used to be
always open, just no motivation to get out of the bed, I am speaking
my heart out here without a hold, something had happened after that
and I want to share that with all of you, on the 20 or 23rd November,
we had made all the Jhoola and kept the jhoola ready, it was a
wonderful evening and was pretty late by the time we retired, and on
23rd, I was very tired on 23rd and because of the euphoria of the
birthday and had not gone to sleep the whole night the next morning,
the next evening we had gone into the yajur mandir to light the lamp,
We normally light a lamp, chant vedam for about 15 minutes and play
Swami’s bhajans so that we can hear Swami’s voice, that’s the ritual
that we have created for a few of the boys who have been with Swami,
close and we do that and on that 24th as we finished the vedam and as
Swami’s bhajan started I was sitting next to Swami’s throne, feeling
desolate, and for just two minutes I dozed, I was physically very
tired and I remember hearing the first line of the bhajan and I
remember hearing the last line of the bhajan so I must have slept,
dozed for probably about 2 or 3 minutes and in that few minutes I had
a dream, I am lying on the floor right there and I could see Swami’s
hand, I could clearly see Swami’s beautiful hand, those fingers those
nails, as I have always seen it, I could see them you know crossed
like this and his hand on my chest and he is giving me CPR. It is time
to wake up now. It is time to take the mission to the next level, it
is time to show the world, what kind of sculptor our master was, our
master is, what kind of sculpting he continues to do. Once we have
been touched by the lord, there is no turning back, there is no
ordinary life ,,,,, We have to lead an extraordinary life we have to
lead a life worthy of having been touched by him. One teaching of his
within us, $$$$$$$ following this one teaching of his. Continuously
reading now, just $$$$$$$ that one teaching will keep everybody for
everyone there is one teaching that really goes into the heart and for
that you have to read, you have to be in tune with what his philosophy
is so that only one teaching will be absolutely in resonance with your
way of thinking, that’s why Swami gives a vast area of philosophical
thoughts, is it devotion that does it to you? yes he has, he is the
master in teaching us about what devotion is? Is it seva that does it
for us? He has given us an entire organization. If it is Jnana that
does it for us, that is intellectual gems that can keep our intellect
stretched for ever in search of meaning of life. There is a treasure
trove that he has kept. It was during December 2010 when students and
teachers from Haryana school had come for Swami’s darshan and one lady
she suddenly got up and told, ‘Swami, we love you Swami, we love you’
and Swami said love my words, Love my words Bhagawanuvacha, that has
lasted for the last 500 hundred years. Bhagawanuvacha, that’s the
Bhagavad Gita, and what Bhagwan, our bhangwan has said will last for
tens of thousands of years and we who have been the contemporaries of
Bhagawan who have had the chance of seeing this magnificent Love in
flesh and blood, we have a major responsibility, a tremendous
responsibility on all of us to lead an extraordinary life. That is
what he always has said, been talking about. I will go back to the
sculpting analogy in a slightly lighter tone because living with Swami
was a roller coaster of emotions. He would take you to the most
blissful moments then he would take you to cleansing $$$$$$$$ through
the $$$$$$$$$ of the idol has to be taken care of. This is a wonderful
incident that I had that I would like to share of how the tail the
youth normally tend to have, its in a hilarious kind of a thing just
an exchange so one day there was a big carton box that had come into
Trayee brindavan and Swami told, ‘Em Adi?’ (What is it?) I told ,
‘Swami choodaledu’ (Swami I didn’t see), Swami told, ‘Choodu’ (See). I
opened the thing and there were pickle bottles inside them. I told
swami, ‘ Ooragaya Swami’ (its pickle Swami) Teruvu, Tervu (Open it) So
I was opening it, Swami told, ‘jagratta (be careful) choka erraga
aitundi (Shirt might get red)), the tail slowly comes out and I was
thinking in my mind, of course Swami I will be careful, I am not a
child you know that kind of a thing. So I opened the pickle bottle,
showed it to Swami and closed it and kept it, but very, very
carefully, you know, because Swami has already warned so I am very
careful, closed it and kept it back. Manchidi Boncheyi (Good have your
lunch) then he went in to the dining hall, I was following Swami, the
monkey mind is telling that see nothing happened, I know I can be
careful Swami finished his lunch went inside and around 1:30 he came
back out again, again same $$$$$$$ , Emi Adi ? (What is that?) Swami,
Poddune choopinchanu Swami (Swami, I showed in the morning, its
pickle, ‘Sarriga choodu’ (See properly). I opened the box, the other
side of the box, I had opened one flap of the box and seeing it was
pickles I though its pickles. I opened the other side, there were
Sauce bottles inside red plastic soft bottles with white cap. I will
never forget that and Swami told ‘Emi Adi?’ Sauce, Sauce ante (Sauce
means), as if he doesn’t know, tomato Pacchidi Swami I told, Swami
told teruvu (open). It was a sauce bottle, no its not oily like
pickle so we don’t have to be that careful, so I opened the sauce
bottle, I have seen it happening with Thumbs Up and Pepsi but never
with Sauce, it went SHUUU… and my whole shirt was red, I was flustered
I had no words, Swami is hilarious, laughing out loud, and he said,
‘Em cheppanu poddunna? Ooragaya padutundi ani cheppaledu, chokka
erraga autundi ani cheppanu I didn’t say that you will get pickle on
the shirt but I told your shirt will become red, adigo (see), the tail
had been sculpted. You know what stroke the $$$$$$$$$ sculpting the
$$$$$$$$ what kind of outlook you should have with him. In may 1996,
he had just started speaking to me, or probably June 1996, just
started to, just one month down the line, it was my second opportunity
of sitting with him in the car. Poi Kuucho Po (Go and sit) so I ran
and sat in the car. Had the good fortune of Gangadhar shetty garu
sitting in the front and Balram Sir was driving, Swami was sitting on
my right, I was sitting on I think on Swami’s left, we were going
towards the front of Brindavan, not towards the railway line but
towards other side, the Sai darshan building side, all of a sudden
Swami said Kya dekh sakta hai? You know Swami’s hindi and Swami’s
grammar won’t put me off the track when he had to, Kya dekh sakta hai?
I said, ‘Swami ko dkhta hai Swami, that’s is different sir, Kya dekh
sakta hai, Rama dekh sakta hai, Krishna dekh sakta hai, It clicked you
know Swami is asking what form do I want to see. On one side I am
getting all the good things that we have read you know the all the
books say that Hislop said he could see the blue form of Krishna and
thought this is my chance, the other side I am thinking why do I want
to see anything, I am seeing Swami, Why do I want to see any thing
else, So I said, ‘Kuch nahi dekh sakta hai Swami, Swami ko dekhta hai’
Chalu ra ni Vedantam (Enough of this Vedanta). Bolo kya dekh sakta
hai, Narsimha dekhta hai (Want to see narasimha avatar) No, Swami, Old
man dekhta hai? Shirdi Baba..Old man dekhta hai? Nahi Swami, Swami ko
dekhta hai Bol ra Itna poochta hai Swami Bol ra, Swami is asking you
so much you are not answering, nahi Swami, Swami ko dekhta hai. When
Swami was insisting so much I thought let me take a chance and let me
say something non controversial, I told, ‘Swami vishwaroopa dekhta
hai’ (I want to see the Vishwaroopa), We are not asking for any
specific avatar right, I am asking for vishwa roopa, I was sitting
like this, Bolo na bolo kya dekh sakta hai?’ the moment I told
Vishwaroopa dekh sakta hai Swami leaned back on the chair shoved his
hand outside, the way he told, ‘Roj dekhta hai Samjhne nahi laga, Roj
dekhta hai understand nahi karta, I had been looking out of the window
for the next fifteen minutes, trying to understand what Swami has
told, What is it that he has showed Arjuna on the battle field, Was it
just some real form that showed or was it change in eye sight change
in drishti, so that all of a sudden he could see God in everything
there, everything was the present there is no such thing as to be
done, there is no such thing as future, there is no such thing as
past, look at that, there is birth there is death, there is fire,
there is forest, there is everything and planets and everything is
there in the divine form. What did Lord Krishna do? These had become
the thoughts in a young 22 year old’s mind that Bhagwan was able to
churn. A mind that knows but other than chemistry and he churned the
thoughts in young hearts. See that is the master sculptor, that is a
master stroke for a person who has not read anything. What could have
happened, What could have happened in the battle field, what did
Arjuna see? And that he had set the journey in motion and we came back
from the drive and we entered Trayee Brindavan, we came back to Trayee
Brindavan, we went walking towards the dining hall there is a small
bridge there and at the edge of the bridge Mrs Ratanlal was standing
there, Swami was climbing down the five steps and I was climbing down
behind Swami and I can see Swami’s hand so I can imagine Swami’s
expression he is telling, ‘Dekho, Dekho, dunnapota dekho’ that kind of
a $$$$ Mrs Ratanlal confirmed telling that ‘Abhi kya kiya Swami
bacche ne?’ meaning what did this boy do again now. ‘Dekho Swami seva
ka avkaash mila hai moksh ke bare mein poochta hai’, you have got a
chance to serve Swami and this boy is asking he wants Moksha. The
profundity of this comment, the way he brings change in attitude,
change in the goal of your life, the absolute clarity that he brings
in about what is important in life. The perception, the perspective
change that he is able to bring, of what life is and what is not, what
is not. What is important in life and what is not important in life.
And the most important thing is it only brings the, its me
specifically, because he has involved me directly, but there used to
be so many times that I used to feel cheated, absolutely cheated
because he would give me something wonderful, tell me something
wonderful and I would treasure it in my heart, next morning, next
evening he will be telling the same thing in the discourse. I would
feel Swami that was my special message Swami, you know, there is no
such thing as something special for those near him. With Swami it is
always the same thought the intensity is more when he is talking to
you yes, personally, but it is the same message that he gives to
everybody. So if we can look into the discourse, if we can break his
discourse, $$$$$ that he is correctly speaking to me, that is the
greater message for you to take home, directly from the lord. ‘Learn
to love my words’, is something that we have to really take to our
hearts and learning to love his words, to know that a millennia from
now $$$$$ people will be talking about Bhagwan who was, what we are
reading of some 5000 years back, people will be talking about Bhagwan
was the master sculptor, that he walked this planet. Just a few words
of how he can really put you on the track, and Swami is sculpting the
head, the most difficult part he sculpted. One day, those were the
days when we used to get a chance to go inside the interview room
around 2:30 in the afternoon, and it was my duty to clean that
interview room and Swami would come and take me inside for some
session, that kind of a thing and one day as I came I was told by
Jagjeevan Murthyji outside on duty, ‘Swami has already come, Swami has
already come’ and I entered, okay Swami has come, fine I am bit late,
I went inside, Swami is standing, you know, the one avatar that I had
specifically prayed that I don’t want to see he is standing in that
avatar, Narasimha avatar, he was angry, Kya karta hai? Swami kuch
nahin karta hai. ‘Kyun late aaya? (why are you late?) I don’t have the
guts to say Swami aap Jaldi aaya (Swami you came early), Swami was
$$$$$$ angry, he had a letter in his hand, you know because I have
been 5 years of my life and then in the hostel and there is lot of
activity in the hostel that has happened in the four or five years,
youthful activities I would say, euphemistically. So, a lot of energy
in the youngster, no direction and Swami was $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
needed and Swami had a letter in his hand and said, ‘Dekho, Kya kya
aata hai tumhare bare mein (See, what all is coming about you), I told
Swami Kya hua? (Swami, what happened?) that you are a very talkative
boy, discipline nahi hai (you don’t have discipline), Tumhara warden
likhta hai, yahan dekho (your warden has written about you, see this),
Sab log likhta hai tumhare bare mein, everybody is writing bad about
you that Swami is wasting his time on you. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tumhare
wajh se Swami ko bad name aata hai (Swami is getting a bad name
because of you) See the hammer and tong that he uses for sculpting, he
knew that he has to use a big hammer if he has a big chunk to remove,
a big hammer it was not possible with a fine tuner and brushing and
polishing, no it is not of use.>$$$$$$$$$ and then Swami is getting a
bad name because of me, I am trying my best Swami, I follow what you
told and I cried, I started sobbing, literally, you know, a 22 yr old
boy sobbing and I was uncontrollably sobbing $$$$$$$ and Swami you
know God’s heart is like butter, the way he melted, the way he melted,
he put his hand on the back of my head and he touched my forehead on
to his chest. I was crying sobbing, the moment my forehead touched his
chest there is no sobbing the touch was peace, I have never had this
experience, only once I had this experience and he made me sit, he sat
down and he made me, he sat on that throne that beautiful throne of
the interview room, he sat, diagnolly faced, and made me kneel down he
told, ‘ Dekho Bangaaru, when you were small, $$$$$$$ ’ I will not give
the actual words, I will give the gist of it, when you were a small
child do you run around in the home naked, ‘Battala lekundu
parugetinavu?’ (you ran around without clothes), I told yes, Swami, I
smiled and said yes Swami, the tears were gone. $$$$$$$ I told Yes,
Swami. $$$$$$$ Will you do it now, I told No, Swami, but today he
said, ‘but today are you ashamed that as a child you used to run
around naked, I told No, Swami. What was natural for that age is
natural for that age, what is natural for this age is natural for this
age, similarly what you did before Swami spoke to you is Sahaja
(natural) for that period but once Swami has started speaking to you
$$$$$$$ So when a stone has to be taken up for sculpting it has to
come out of a mountain right? there is a mountain of karma that we
have, it is the master who can take a $$$$$$$ break the stone off and
give you fresh start $$$$$$$$ everyone of us
We have to lead, we have to live $$$$ of having been touched by
the brilliance of the divine master so that dear brothers and sisters
is the story of one rock that was chiseled by the lord and that is the
story of everyone of us, that is the story of every one of us. I told
you that there was only one other time that I had the same experience
of immediate calm $$$$$$
I could not control my sobbing, I was really down, I went and touched
$$$$$$$ the moment my forehead touched the stone, the sobbing
absolutely completely stopped, there was peace, absolute peace, and
the thought, the immediate thought that came that the heart of Swami
was giving solace to my heart, no second thoughts about that, we have
to go on with our work, we have to go on with our life, we have to go
on with our $$$$$$ knowing that he is with us always. I thank
Indiranagar samiti for having given me this opportunity to relive
those wonderful moments with the lord. It has been a wonderful
experience coming back here, $$$$$$ and it has been a pleasure, a
great honour to be standing here in a samiti which has got so much of
history so much of association with the lord and here I am in the
divine premises. Sai Ram.
====
Samastha Lokaa Sukhino Bhavanthu !!