HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LILA

[lilasmother]

If you go to my myspace, there is a lot of material there on Lila
http://www.myspace.com/subhangidevidasi .

.....since it is Lilas birthday I thought it only apt that we present
to her our website today. It is still under construction by
Pancharatna Prabhu but we can all at least see it coming into being.
Once it is up and running I will send you all copies of the flyers to
be distributed to promote it......then we will go hard. Do u think
over a million signatures is an unreasonable expectation????

All glories to Anandalila Salter and all glories to Sri Vrindavan
Dharm.......check out our baby at http://www.safevrindavan.com/


Everything is manifesting by Krsnas grace and the mercy of the
devotees...thankyou all and pray that we can make a difference,

sincerely your servant Subhangi Devi Dasi

[lilasmother]

Dear Lilly Pilly,

Today would have been hour 18th birthday...somehow i can no longer
picture your life beyond 17. Wierd but true. And I know that you were
always dissatisfied with this life in this material world, that i am
certain of and always knew about you. You were a fish out of water
here. Nothing interested you here except Vrindavan and Radhe
Shyamasundar, and your devotee friends. Janmastami! Holi! Radhastami!
Dewali! Kartik! Everything inbetween was just tolerated by you...You
always refered every thought and sitution to Krishna somehow and even
though you were not a scholar your heart was fixed in Krishna
conciousness and your faith and belief unwavering.

Since birth you would cry when i tried to take you home from the
temple program and you would always escape and run as fast as you
little legs would carry you to the temple to dance for Krishna. I
always knew where to find you, again time between the temple programs
was just time waste to you...I don't think you could have faced lifes
complexities as you were always so sensitive and this material world
is full of so many sufferings. I like to think Krishna was saving you
from this.....

This morning I looked at your video dancing at rsikesh...it was apt i
thought. Ganga is your background, everything spiritual was always
your basis. You are dancing so gracefully as you always did and
without ever having had a lesson, it was just part of you since you
could walk...you were born to dance for Krishna.

You used to try to participate in life outside Vrindavan but you
would always crack and beg to be sent back there to your beloved
Braj.....Hard for me to not feel bitter that Braj did not protect you,
I will never understand in this lifetime, i am sorry. I wish Krishna
could reveal to me.... The pain of separation from you is just too
much for me to bare...i didn't know how deeply the knife could cut in
my heart...

Somehow the memories are just not enough for me. People say, 'You have
your memories,' but the pain in my heart just can't be satisfied with
this. My heart aches for your association. Your cute jokes and the way
you used to light up a room with your wit and grace.....I wish my
heart could ache for Krishna the way it does for you...

I miss you so much and feel that i was never qualified to be your
mother. You were such a good daughter and always did what you were
told and surrendered to your parents desires, rare in this day and
age. You only ever put your foot down and demanded to be allowed to
reside in Vrindavan, otherwise you never made demands. Thankyou for
that and for never giving me any pain or trouble. I always wondered
how a person like me could have gotten such a pure soul as my
child...You were such a nice person and good devotee. It was your good
qualities and innocence which in the end were to blame for what
happened to you. You had no bad in your heart and saw no bad in others
either, that was your downfall. You never wanted to bother others with
your problems and that was also your downfall. I know you were too
soft to be mean to anyone and you put your brothers life ahead of your
own. You could not bare to see anyone you loved hurt...That was so
brave, you were strong hearted and selfless...

I wish i could be with you and see you face to face again. The hole
you left is impossible to fill. I was a bad mother and did not protect
you enough and this pain is my punishment, God knows i deserve much
worse for neglecting such a great child as you. I am so sorry for that
and i hope you forgive me. I guess i will have to embrace my karma for
this when the time comes. Krishna must have realised that you had been
placed with the wrong mother and rectified His mistake. Still I am
grateful I got you for a short time. I wonder if the pain will ever go
away?? I can't imagine it will as you are unforgettable...i just pray
that you are with Krishna now as any other scenerio is unbearable for
me but i am too much of an athiest to believe that it is really true
that you could have attained Krishnas abode.

I wish I could see the reason for everything...I like to think of you
as being like Abhimanu (Arjunas son in Mahabharata), he was the son of
a demigod (not sure think Kuvera) and when Krishna asked Abhimanus
father to let him decend here to be part of His Lila his father was
devastated! He told Krishna, 'How can we live here without our
diamond?? He is so special and so loved. Separation from him would be
unbearable! Please don't take him.' Krishna said, 'I'm sorry but I
must have him for my Lila on earth, Mahabharata, but i promise i will
only take him for a short time...'So i think of you like that, Krishna
just put you here for a short time and then took you back. Any other
scenerio is not possible for such a good soul as you....

Anyway, that may be so but you were so auspicious and you left a big
hole in so many peoples lives i feel Krishna should have left you here
to give your association to others for longer. I only hope that your
shakti will help us open up Vrindavan Dharm to the world and i feel
deep down that this is the purpose of what happened to you....Krishnas
devotee is never vanquished.....

I love you always Lila and forever, hope to be backed up tight at
Krishnas lotus feet one day with you,

your mother of your last material body
and your eternal servant Subhangi

On Jul 17, 4:36 am, lilasmother <jamsu...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> If you go to my myspace, there is a lot of material there on Lilahttp://www.myspace.com/subhangidevidasi.
>
>  .....since it is Lilas birthday I thought it only apt that we present
> to her our website today. It is still under construction by
> Pancharatna Prabhu but we can all at least see it coming into being.
> Once it is up and running I will send you all copies of the flyers to
> be distributed to promote it......then we will go hard. Do u think
> over a million signatures is an unreasonable expectation????
>
>  All glories to Anandalila Salter and all glories to Sri Vrindavan

> Dharm.......check out our baby athttp://www.safevrindavan.com/