I'm always willing to help, but ...
1. I am in EU, I pay for delivery almost half of the price of a card and I need warranty services too. So amazon it's out of question unless they have something I can't buy here (for instance my Klipsch system).
2. Why would I use Nouveau as long as I like nVidia?
3. The effort to patch the drivers is so small.
4. Cuda?
5. Ubuntu is a true failure for me, it died in two hours each time I have installed it. I rather trust Arch forums for problem solving...
6. Last time I have had issues with Nouveau (and right now with other major problems) nobody could help me properly.
7. I use Sabayon since version 6 and I didn't re-installed it since then, unless I have got a new PC or for testing reasons. I know the times to have something solved on Linux, I don't see much change from year to year due to the lack of support from many vendors. I don't believe Nouveau will work.
8. I see only dischord and disbelief in all open projects, everybody is doing a fork rather than collaborate in one direction. This is the trend and it's counterproductive.
In the end, I'll tell you what I have told to KDE team too: I - as user - should be served by the software and not viceversa. I understand that are impossible things, that are hard things (to achieve), as I am software developer myself, but I see too much shortcuts and patches in this field of work lately that make life a hell when it shouldn't. It becomes unacceptable. for a user, especially when it's not a technical person.
I can try nouveau for you, but configuring it should be a flawless short proces rather than tuning a lot to achieve what I get by 30 minutes of work on nVidias proprietary drivers to build them on 4.20.