1) If there is a UDP receive queue overrun, this suggests that the stream is forwarded in userspace, right? There is no UDP receive queue as such inside the netfilter UDP forwarding environment, surely? Or do I fail to misunderstand some aspect of the interaction between the daemon and netfilter?
You're quite right, this would only happen for user space forwarding. So with a stream that is supposed to be handled by the kernel module, this can either indicate that kernel forwarding doesn't work at all, or that the module encountered some packets or traffic that it refused to handle and so it passed them on to user space.
With 11.5 I believe the counters in /proc/rtpengine/X/list are still indicative of whether the module does any work.
Packets that the kernel module refuses to handle may include STUN or ICE packets, other packets that are not RTP if RTP is expected, SRTP packets that failed decryption, RTP packets with unknown SSRCs, and possibly others.
Assuming you're unable to do large scale tracing (i.e. tcpdump on everything, or running rtpengine under strace) to catch the offending traffic, you can try adding a simple log message that dumps the contents of the packet that triggered the overflow, and then go from there.
Cheers