It is not possible for our human love to be with the proper measure and discernment.

[jidong xiao]

我们在婚姻生活和家庭生活中需要有这神圣的爱。彼得嘱咐作丈夫的要按妻子应得的分敬重她。（彼前三7。）这需要高尚的爱。

姊妹一般是用情感，没有辨识或不适度的爱丈夫。这样的姊妹高兴或情绪高昂时，就会因此爱丈夫。但她若不高兴或生气，就不会爱他。那种爱是情感的，不包含神圣之爱的元素。然而，一位在主里较为老练的姊妹，会始终如一的爱丈夫和儿女，但她的爱总是适度且有辨识的。这种爱必是高尚的爱。

我们人的爱不可能适度且有辨识。这就是彼得说到弟兄相爱以后，接着指明我们在弟兄相爱上需要发展爱的原因。有些解经家误解彼得这里的话，以为他在告诉我们，首先要发展对弟兄的爱，然后要发展对众人的爱。然而，这种领会太肤浅了。彼得的思想是在我们的弟兄相爱里，需要有神圣之爱的元素。

We need to have this divine love in our married life and family life. Peter charges the husbands to assign honor to the wife ( 1 Peter 3:7). This requires a noble love. 

It is common for sisters to love their husbands emotionally and without discernment or measure. When such a sister is happy or high in her emotion, she will love her husband accordingly. But if she is unhappy or angry, she will not love him. That kind of love is emotional and does not contain the element of agape. However, another sister, with more experience in the Lord, will consistently love her husband and children, but will always love with a measure and with discernment. This kind of love is surely a noble love. 

It is not possible for our human love to be with the proper measure and discernment. This is the reason that, after speaking of brotherly love, Peter goes on to indicate that in our brotherly love we need to develop love. Some expositors have misinterpreted Peter here and have thought that he is telling us to develop first a love for the brothers and then a love for all men. This understanding, however, is too shallow. Peter's thought is that in our brotherly love there needs to be the element of agape, the divine love.