Road rage remorse
Danney Ball
Update:In 1987, Albert Morgan shot another driver on a freeway, leading to a series of copycat incidents. Now, he cautions, "If you get angry, get off the freeway ... then meditate."
By GREG HARDESTY
The Orange
County Register
Hot and tired, stuck in freeway traffic on his way to a rodeo with his wife, Albert Morgan was peeved watching cars illegally zoom by on the shoulder.
Fueled by Bacardi rum, Morgan's anger turned to rage.
The 33-year-old roofer reached for the loaded .22-caliber revolver he kept inside his black Ford truck in case he ran across mountain lions while hunting for small game with a bow and arrow.
"No! No!" his wife screamed.
"And then," Morgan said, "that was it: Pow! I fired out the (passenger) window."
The bullet struck a man in a Datsun heading down the Costa Mesa (55) Freeway to a barbecue at his best friend's house.
Paul Nussbaum, then 28, was hit just behind the ear. The bullet shattered a vertebrae and damaged his spinal cord, paralyzing him from the neck down.
The July 18, 1987, shooting made national news and remains one of the most high-profile road-rage incidents in Orange County, blamed for about three dozen copycats.
Now, with at least a dozen freeway shootings in Southern California since mid-March, including three in Tustin, Nussbaum and Morgan have been reliving the events of that hot summer evening.
The shooting forced Nussbaum to abandon dreams of a career in social work, just months after earning a master's degree from USC, and of plans to run marathons into his 70s.
Morgan lost eight years of his life to prison after a jury found him guilty of attempted voluntary manslaughter.
"I knew I was guilty," he said. "I accepted it."
Morgan's wife abandoned him, and several relatives disowned him. He received numerous death threats.
Today, Nussbaum, 46, with only limited mobility in his legs, lives on Social Security disability checks with a full-time caregiver in his apartment in Los Angeles County. He relies on her for basic needs like going to the bathroom.
Morgan, 50, suffers from a family-inherited disease that claimed both of his kidneys after he got out of prison in 1997. He is on a kidney machine three days a week, and too sick to work.
Both men, who have never spoken to each other, wonder when another act of insanity on Orange County freeways will ruin more lives.
"It was an idiotic act that screwed up his life, his family's life, my life, my family's life, and the lives of our friends," Morgan said.
Nussbaum believes the freeways are getting more dangerous, partly because more people are on the road.
"This problem will have to get much worse before it gets better," Nussbaum said.
"For me, the (recent) shootings feel personal, and I find myself feeling a number of different emotions: anger, frustration, sadness.
"I think that the individuals who commit these crimes may be sociopaths, because sticking out a gun and shooting someone is beyond poor impulse control.
"Watching the recent shootings on TV, it seems like the freeways in California have now become the wild, wild West where anything goes."
Although Morgan believes gang initiations may explain some of the recent shootings, which authorities say do not appear to be related, he agrees that there are more angry motorists on the road.
"It's crazy what's going on," Morgan said.
He said he didn't have an anger problem when he shot Nussbaum.
He blamed his alcoholism.
"I honestly thought I was going to shoot in front of the Datsun and that he'd see this bullet fly by, and that it would be a warning shot," Morgan said. "That was how messed-up my thinking was."
Minutes after the shooting, police arrested Morgan outside the Orange County Fairgrounds.
Nussbaum, who had been living with his parents in Palos Verdes, said he was about to pull over on the shoulder to check directions when he suddenly felt woozy.
At first he didn't realize he had been shot. He came to in an emergency room, where a doctor told him that he had a head wound.
Nussbaum devoted himself to rehabilitation, but he eventually realized he could progress only so far.
He thought of killing himself and courted Dr. Jack Kevorkian to assist him.
The Michigan doctor agreed to help Nussbaum, but plans fell apart when physician-assisted suicide became a felony.
Today, Nussbaum has enough use in his arms to use a computer track ball or mouse, and he spends about four hours a day on the Internet.
He helps raise money for research on spinal-cord injuries (personally raising between $200,000 and $250,000 to date) and offers guidance in online forums to those with similar injuries.
Nussbaum has a purpose.
"To be honest, over time I don't think being (in this condition) gets any easier," said Nussbaum, whose parents and other relatives live nearby and help take care of him. "But it does get easier to cover up my emotions and get through the day. I just try to stay as busy as I can."
Nussbaum, who was awarded an $8 million civil judgment but has no expectation of ever collecting it, doesn't often think about Morgan.
"Only when I hear about another freeway shooting," he said. "I don't believe I have anything that I want to say to him at this time."
He believes a life sentence would have been appropriate.
"Some people may choose to remember those who did harm to them," Nussbaum said. "Some may select to forgive someone who has committed a violent crime.
"Myself, I'm trying to forget about him and move on with the rest of my life."
Morgan is remorseful.
"During my second and third year in prison, I felt I deserved (the sentence)," Morgan said. "When the fourth or fifth year came, I was thinking, 'Damn, this is getting carried away.'
"But I ruined a lot of people's lives, and I had to accept it. And I did."
Morgan never apologized to Nussbaum during the trial because his lawyer forbid him from talking to the man he shot.
Asked what he would say to Nussbaum today, Morgan said: "That I'm sorry. But I don't know how 'I'm sorry' can cut it. It's not like I put a dent in his fender, or killed his dog - what I did was major."
Morgan has some advice for motorists.
"If you get angry, get off the freeway and stop, then meditate," he said. "For your own safety, pay attention to what's around you.
"Don't tailgate; and when you change lanes, use your blinker."
And, he added: "Control your temper. I know better."
News researcher Sharon Clairemont contributed to this report.
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