Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'' is like Tarantino crossed with the Marx Brothers, if Groucho had been into chopping off fingers. It's a bewilderingly complex caper film, set among the low-lifes of London's East End, and we don't need to be told that the director used to make TV commercials; we figure that out when a cook throws some veggies into water, and the camera shoots up from the bottom of the pot.
The movie is about a poker player named Eddy (Nick Moran), who is bankrolled by three friends for a high-stakes game with Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarity), a gambling and porn kingpin. Harry cheats, Eddy runs up an enormous debt, and Harry's giant enforcer, Barry the Baptist (Lenny McLean), explains that he will start chopping fingers if the friends don't pay up--or hand over a pub belonging to Eddy's father (Sting).
What to do? Eddy and his mates eavesdrop on neighbors in the next flat--criminals who are planning to rob a rich drug dealer. Meanwhile, Barry assigns two dimwits to steal a couple of priceless antique shotguns for Harry. The shotguns end up in the hands of Eddy and friends, who steal the drug money from the other thieves, and then--but you get the idea.
The actors seem a little young for this milieu; they seem to be playing grown-up. Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs'' had characters with mileage on them, played by veterans like Harvey Keitel, Lawrence Tierney and Michael Madsen.
But the heroes of "Lock'' (Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Jason Statham and Moran) seem a little downy-cheeked to be moving in such weathered circles. And as the cast expands to include the next-door neighbors and the drug dealers, there are times when, frankly, we wish everybody would wear name tags ("Hi! I'm the effete ganja grower!'').
I was convinced, however, by Harry and Barry--and also by Harry's collector, Big Chris, who is played by a soccer star named Vinnie Jones who became famous for squeezing in his vice-like grip that part of an opponent's anatomy that most quickly gains his full attention. They seem plausible as East End vice retailers--seamy, cynical, middle-aged professionals in a heartless business.
I also liked the movie's sense of fun. The soundtrack uses a lot of rock music and narration to flaunt its attitude, it keeps most of the violence off-screen, and it's not above throwaway gags. While Eddy plays poker, for example, his three friends go next door to a pub. A man on fire comes staggering out of the door. They look at him curiously, shrug, and go in. The pub is named Samoa Joe's, which seems like a sideways nod to "Pulp Fiction'' (Big Kahuna burgers crossed with Jack Rabbit Slim's restaurant). The guys sip drinks with umbrellas in them.
I sometimes feel, I confess, as if there's a Tarantino reference in every third movie made these days. "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'' is the kind of movie where you naturally play Spot the Influence: Tarantino, of course, and a dash of Hong Kong action pictures, and the old British crime comedies like "The Lavender Hill Mob.'' The director, Guy Ritchie, says his greatest inspiration was "The Long Good Friday'' (1980), the Cockney crime movie that made a star out of Bob Hoskins. Lurking beneath all the other sources, I suspect, is "Night and the City'' (1950), Jules Dassin's masterful noir, also about crime in the East End, also with a crime kingpin who employs a giant bruiser.
By the end of it all, as you're reeling while trying to make sense of the plot, "Lock, Stock, etc.'' seems more like an exercise in style than anything else. And so it is. We don't care much about the characters (I felt more actual affection for the phlegmatic bouncer, Barry the Baptist, than for any of the heroes). We realize that the film's style stands outside the material and is lathered on top (there are freeze frames, jokey subtitles, speed-up and slo-mo). And that the characters are controlled by the demands of the clockwork plot.
As Lock Up begins, protagonist Frank Leone (Stallone) is enjoying a furlough with girlfriend Melissa (Darlanne Fluegel) before returning to serve out the final few months of his term in a minimum-security prison. In a first-act twist, he's abruptly rounded up and transferred to Gateway, a maximum-security slammer, where he's subjected to physical and psychological abuse. Whatever serious message may have been in mind about the dehumanizing and counter-productive nature of the American carceral system dissipates hopelessly with the introduction of Gateway's villainous Warden Drumgoole (Donald Sutherland), who promises Frank, "This is Hell, and I'm going to give you the guided tour." A quick exposition dump conveys the backstory: Frank is a veritable Boy Scout who earned his first rap defending his mentor, an old mechanic named Galleti, from a gang of street punks connected to the mob. While he was in jail, it was Drumgoole himself who denied him one measly hour of leave to visit the old man on his deathbed; Frank embarrassed the warden badly by escaping from custody. Frank earned an additional stint in the clink for his escape. Now, Drumgoole intends to engineer a scenario that will keep him behind bars for decades or ensure his death in prison.
I was expecting to find Lock Up to be more or less detestable, given its dismal critical reputation even among Stallone fans. (MEN'S HEALTH ranked it in the bottom 15% of Stallone's oeuvre.) But it's surprisingly easy to take. The worst I can say about it is that the first two acts are positively riddled with prison-movie clichs, though they play out in a surprisingly comfy fashion. After Chink tries to shiv Frank in the prison yard, Frank denies that anything happened, telling the earnest, incredulous guard (William Allen Young) who witnessed the attack, "You've got your rules, we have ours." Naturally, there's a bruising, full-contact football game in the prison mud, where Frank wins the respect of Eclipse by efficiently quarterbacking the pigskin downfield. The scene is sort of perfunctory, but it's still well- staged and choreographed, with bodies flying through the air and Stallone visibly doing his own stuntwork. Since this is a prison movie, Frank eventually gets "six weeks in the hole" as punishment for a minor transgression, and Flynn gets it just right, spending enough time in solitary to suggest the toll it takes on Frank's mind and body without dwelling on it or losing forward momentum. (Alas, Frank's ability to maintain his de rigueur five o'clock shadow throughout the ordeal goes unaddressed.) There's even a musical interlude where Frank and his prison buddies bring a '65 Ford Mustang back to life in an Inspirational Montage set to the old funk-rock hit "Vehicle" by The Ides of March before cheerfully singing a song of their invention with lyrics inviting the warden to kiss their cold, dead asses. The overt demonstration of manly camaraderie put me in mind, sort of, of Howard Hawks, and I smiled despite the silliness of it all.
It's too bad the third act is a real yawner, working up a head of generic action as Frank assays another disappearing act after hearing that Melissa herself might be a target. In an interview with SHOCK CINEMA, Flynn remembered that shooting on Lock Up took place on an accelerated timetable to fit Stallone's schedule, with co-screenwriters Jeb Stuart (Die Hard) and Henry Rosenbaum overhauling what Flynn called a "terrible script" (apparently contributed by the late Richard Smith, receiving his one and only film credit) page by page as shooting proceeded, the writers occasionally falling behind the production. That helps explain the derivative, highly episodic nature of the screenplay, yet there's a bigger problem here. Because Lock Up has taken pains to explain why Frank Leone is a good guy despite deserving two arguably unjust prison sentences, its climax relies on his success at getting out of prison on schedule and according to the rules so that he can reunite with his lady and live happily ever after. Then again, because Lock Up is an action programmer that gets its charge out of making Warden Drumgoole such a despicable character, it also relies on Leone's ability to exact revenge on an appropriate scale. And there's the rub: If Frank so much as pops Drumgoole a good one on the nose, it beggars belief that his reward would be anything but an extended prison sentence with more opportunities for misery and death. The screenwriters attempt to thread the needle here with an unlikely, overheated climax that eventually argues for justice as better payback than revenge. I hate to say it since I respect the impulse, but Lock Up needed a much more ingenious denouement if it really wanted Frank to come out on top without getting his hands dirty. It's an impossible set-up with an unconvincing, unsatisfying result.
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