Respond instead of reacting
arbit
by Aziz Premji (CEO of
Wipro)
I am very happy to be here with you. It is always wonderful to be with
young people. The funny thing about life is that you realize the value
of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from
black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have
begun to realize the importance of youth.
At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons
I have leant along the way. I hope you will find them useful when you
plan your own career and life.
The first thing I have learnt is that we must always begin with our
strengths. From the earliest years of our schooling, everyone focuses
on what is wrong with us. There is an imaginary story of a rabbit. The
rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit school. Like all rabbits, it could hop
very well but could not swim. At the end of the year, the rabbit got
high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The parents were
concerned. They said, "Forget about hopping. You are anyway good at it.
Concentrate on swimming." They sent the rabbit for tuitions in
swimming. And guess what happened? The rabbit forgot how to hop! As for
swimming, have you ever seen a rabbit swim? While it is important for
us to know what we are not good at, we must also cherish what is good
in us. That is because it is only our strengths that can give us the
energy to correct our weaknesses.
The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more
value than five found. My friend was sharing me the story of his eight
year-old niece. She would always complain about the breakfast. The cook
tried everything possible, but the child remained unhappy. Finally, my
friend took the child to a supermarket and brought one of those
ready-to-cook packets. The child had to
cut the packet and pour water in the dish. After that, it took two
minutes in the microwave to be ready. The child found the food to be
absolutely delicious? The difference was that she has cooked it! In my
own life, I have found that nothing gives as much satisfaction as
earning our rewards. In fact, what is gifted or inherited follows the
old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess we only know the value of what
we have if we have struggled to earn it.
The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time.
Life has many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy
winning. But do not let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are
already on your way to failure. And if you do encounter failure along
the way, treat it as an equally natural phenomenon. Don't beat yourself
for it or any one else for that matter! Accept it, look at your own
share in the problem, learn from it and move on. The important thing
is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.
The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility.
Sometimes, when you get so much in life, you really start wondering
whether you deserve all of it. This brings me to the value of
gratitude. We have so much to be grateful for. Our parents, our
teachers and our seniors have done so much for us that we can never
repay them. Many people focus on the shortcomings, because obviously
no one can be perfect. But it is important to first acknowledge what we
have received. Nothing in life is permanent but when a relationship
ends, rather than becoming bitter, we must learn to savour the memory
of the good things while they lasted.
The fifth lesson I learnt is that we must always strive for
excellence. One way of achieving excellence is by looking at those
better than ourselves. Keep learning what they do differently. Emulate
it. But excellence cannot be imposed from the outside. We must also
feel the need from within. It must become an obsession. It must involve
not only our mind but also our heart and soul. Excellence is not an act
but a habit. I remember the inspiring lines of a poem, which says that
your reach must always exceed your grasp. That is heaven on earth.
Ultimately, your only competition is yourself.
The sixth lesson I have learnt is never give up in the face of
adversity. It comes on you suddenly without warning. One can either
succumb to self-pity, wring your hands in despair or decide to deal
with the situation with courage and dignity. Always keep in mind that
it is only the test of fire that makes fine steel. A friend of mine
shared this incident with me. His eight-year old daughter was
struggling away at a jigsaw puzzle. She kept at it for hours but could
not succeed. Finally, it went beyond her bedtime. My friend told her,
"Look, why don't you just give up? I don't think you will complete it
tonight. Look at it another day." The daughter looked with a strange
look in her eyes, "But, dad, why should I give up? All the pieces are
there! I have just got to put them together!" If we persevere long
enough, we can put any problem into its perspective.
The seventh lesson I have learnt is that while you must be open to
change, do not compromise on your values. Mahatma Gandhiji often said
that you must open the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept
off your feet by the breeze. You must define what your core values are
and what you stand for. And these values are not so difficult to
define. Values like honesty, integrity, consideration and humility have
survived for generations. Values are not in the words used to describe
them as much as in the simple acts.
At the end of the day, it is values that define a person more than the
achievements. Because it is the means of achievement that decide how
long the achievements will sustain. Do not be tempted by short cuts.
The short cut can make you lose your way and end up becoming the
longest way to the destination. And the final lesson I learnt
is that we must have faith in our own ideas even if everyone tells us
that we are wrong.
There was once a newspaper vendor who had a rude customer. Every
morning, the Customer would walk by, refuse to return the greeting,
grab the paper off the shelf and throw the money at the vendor. The
vendor would pick up the money, smile politely and say, "Thank you,
Sir." One day, the vendor's assistant asked him, "Why are you always so
polite with him when he is so rude to you? Why don't you throw the
newspaper at him when he comes back tomorrow?" The vendor smiled and
replied, "He can't help being rude and I can't help being polite. Why
should I let his rude behaviour dictate my politeness?
In my youth, I thought of myself as a rebel and was many times, a rebel
without a cause. Today, I realize that my rebellion was another kind of
conformity. We defied our elders to fall in line with our peers!
Ultimately, we must learn to respond instead of reacting. When we
respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most
appropriate. We are in control of our actions. When we react, we are
still doing what the other person wants us to do. I wish you all the
best in your life and career.
I hope you achieve success in whatever way you define it and what gives
you the maximum happiness in life. Remember, those who win are those
who believe they can.
--
If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence,
its time to fertilise your lawn !