Wife Paid For Sex
Angie Troia
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Just to give a brief recap, about a year and a half ago I was living overseas, when suddenly I had to be repatriated back to the US for emergency reasons. When I came back to the US, I returned alone, leaving my wife overseas, and I ended up homeless for a few months. We are both in our sixties.
So, I would like to know if it is possible for my wife to become my care giver, since she isn't really able to work, due to the fact that she must take care of me. I've talked to a few social workers about it, but they just shrug their shoulders without telling me what steps I need to take.
Actually, it should be your wife doing all this inquiry since you are the disabled one and it doesn't have to be 24/7 care. Most of this information can be found online in NC by your wife. Since you are in your 60s, do you get SSD or retirement of any kind? Medicaid is the one who covers this and, of course, you need to be under a doctor's care and he would probably need to say you need this at least part-time to start. It is a process. Then, I believe they send a person from Medicaid to evaluate your situation. Good luck to you.
So IF California has such a program, I am not sure that the criteria for care would be met. Do you have perhaps Medicaid nurses or some medical designate coming to check on you and your condition(s) weekly or at some regular schedule? How close are you to being sent to a nursing home or some place with a high level of care?
Sorry to be a pest, but I'm a little confused by the response I received from the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services after I sent them an iquiry about my wife becoming my caregiver. I"m not sure if they are trying to foist me off onto another agency, and I would like to ask for an informed opinion
Based upon this information, does it still look like I'm headed on the right path to have my wife become my caregiver? When I look at the information found within the link emailed back to me, it seems a little bit overwhelming, and I don't seem to understand how to take the first step. Am I missing something? There doesn't seem to be a link that says, Apply Here.
This program is available in some states under their Medicaid Long Term Care program - it is specifically designed to pay a little to keep people out of Medicaid LTC nursing home or comparable institutionalize care life which cost a ton of money.
I'm actually pretty disabled and I cannot take care of myself. The social workers I've talked to told me that my wife can become my caregiver, but none of them have done anything to point me in the right direction. I will try.
The waiver program provides a cost-effective alternative to institutionalization for a Medicaid beneficiary who is medically fragile and at risk for institutionalization if home- and community-bases services approved in the CAP/DA waiver were not available. CAP/DA services allow the beneficiary to remain in or return to a home- and community-based setting by supplementing, rather than replacing, the formal and informal services and supports already available to an approved Medicaid beneficiary.
It all has to do with your disability and the level of care you need and what alternatives may best meet these needs - the evaluation would determine this and they may suggest other things before it gets to the Consumer Directed Services.
Your social worker or case worker should have made some kind of an application for [whatever] homecare. They should be your 1st contact on the program Ask them if they have made an application for you into this Home and Community Based services (HCBS) program or any alternative.
There is a program paid for by Kansas Medicaid called Self Directed Home Care. Each state is different on how and what it provides for Medicaid. If you are not on Medicaid then locate an agency that is focused on providing Aging and Disability Services. I would contact your states department for aging and disabled services. Again every state has a different name for that department. If you have Medicare or Medicaid or other insurance you can ask them what types of assistance are available and then ask if your wife is able to part of it or compensated for providing the assistance/care. With out knowing which State you are in I am unable to offer any specifics. Be aware that Social Security Administration (SSA.gov), Medicare.gov and Medicaid.gov have resources you can access online or by calling (long wait times, start early). Hope this helps.
Thank you for the information. I'm sorry for the late reply, but I misplaced my password, and this site is so hard for me to navigate I cannot believe it. Also, my wife and I have gotten so frustrated with this project that we've decided to just give up. It seems that every time we look for help, we encounter another person working at an agency who just wants to list reasons why the cannot help us. No one can navigate all of these bureaucracies on their own, and then on top of that, no one seems to be holding the people who work at these various social service agencies accountable. Is it really any wonder that there are so many people living in the streets? Time to face the fact that no one is going to help us.
Since it appears Federal law allows for the wife to be the beneficiary unless she has signed a waiver allowing for someone else to be the beneficiary, it appears the wife should be able to claim the deceased husband's benefits. Fidelity claims they can't do anything about it and pushed the issue back to the employer.
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**But this is where the rubber meets the road, or sh*t hits the fan. If the employer signed off I think you'll have a hard time getting Fidelity to take responsibility. You're going to need legal help on this.
I re-read the original post, and identified the phrase "...advise on how I should approach unwinding this ..." It appears the original poster has (or thinks he/she has) some personal responsibility for fixing the situation. Undoubtedly, the advice from Bird (get legal help) is correct, but the first step might be to identify who really does have the responsibility.
I'm a retirement actuary. Nothing about my comments is intended or should be construed as investment, tax, legal or accounting advice. Occasionally, but not all the time, it might be reasonable to interpret my comments as actuarial or consulting advice.
As noted, the spouse is ENTITLED to the benefit; period. She needs to make the claim to the plan. It is the plan that needs to figure out how to get the money back. They are the ones who may need to hire the lawyer first, but if she can't get satisfaction from the plan, then she needs her own lawyer. They may conceivably have to go to court to get the son ordered to pay the money back. As to Fidelity's role, as noted elsewhere, it has to be determined who screwed up. I would expect it was NOT Fidelity; I would expect they were told to make the distribution and it was approved by a plan administrator. If Fidelity was the plan administrator OR did this without instruction, they will need to fix it and it might take a court to order them to do so, but the key is to get the party who screwed up to acknowledge that it's their fault and work on fixing it from there. The spouse may very well have to hire an attorney, but the above process should be tried first. You might be surprised as to the results.
The husband died in May 2019 without a will. From what I know, the wife at least made an inquiry with the husband's employer and was told the son was the beneficiary. The son was also the beneficiary on his father's life insurance. The wife had accepted there was nothing that could be done, and was moving forward in settling the estate with the son. The lawyer she has been working with did not know she was entitled to the husband's 401K since he was pushing for the estate to be settled.
I got involved a couple of months ago when I was asked to review the estate settlement. That's when I discovered the wife is entitled to the 401K unless she has signed a waiver regardless of who is named as a beneficiary.
To make matters more difficult, about a year ago the husband and wife adopted a 1 year old child (her grandson) that was having health issues to raise as their own child. She can use the income the 401K can provide.
It would seem to follow logically that the Plan Administrator acting through Fidelity, most likely the Third Party Administrator, acted property in paying out the 401(k) Plan to the named beneficiary.
Many appellate decisions have addressed such post distribution suits and have adopted a theory of constructive trust to justify a claim against the named beneficiary (not the Plan Administrator). But it is first important to note that this is not a clean analogy. The Kennedy case was premised on the preemption of state law by ERISA in the first instance. In the situation presented we are dealing with two competing ERISA provisions, one giving the spouse the entitlement to 401(k) Plan proceeds, and the other permitting the Plan Administrator to distribute the proceeds to the NAMED beneficiary.
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