bromor vladon giondannah
Tarja Rabito
I give up he's still playing that stupid game. He will quit playing evony I know that for sure as Final Fantasy 14 is coming out the end of sept this year. Then he will be involved in that game. Were behind in our rent and on most of our bills because he's not bringing in that much money with his buisness right now. We are living solely on my income. I'm sorry $1200 a month does not pay rent, daycare, food and other bills. There is only so long a person can live this way. I'm giving him the ultimatium soon prolly within the week....me and his son or the game and he can forget about final fantasy when it comes out. If this fantasy world of his that he's living in is more important than his RL one we won't be around long. You don't know what you have til it's gone is such the right saying but the problem is not just realizing what you've lost but the fact that you might never get it back.
He made a comment this weekend that men don't change, if the woman is happy and can live her life within his lifestyle they will be happy. (he was talking about a friend of mine I haven't seen in years and her boyfriend.) Don't think he realized that when applied to our situation it screams RUN!
Tired, I seriously feel for you. I can't imagine the feelings your are experiencing regarding your situation right now. But I must say I disagree with that frame of mind your husband commented on, being a man myself. Men - and indeed anyone - CAN change. It's all up to the individual. I don't believe one person should have to "fit" into the other's lifestyle; their lifestyles should fit in each other's in order for a relationship to flourish.
I certainly hope you are in the process of building a life for you and your son, since he matters most of all. I don't much like the idea of a split family, but as the son of divorced parents, I can tell you that life does go forward and your son will be just fine, especially with a strong parent there to keep him learning and growing, which I don't doubt you will.
While I send you my best wish that your husband wises up, I know that doesn't always happen, and so wish you and your little boy the best in a productive and happy future. Be strong, keep your head high, and you will perservere.
-- If fun, adventure, and companionship is what you seek, look away from the monitor and out the window. It's been out there all along, waiting for you to go out and find it. So much to see and do, and you'll never be alone if you don't want to be.
People can change, if they want to. Our addicts may need help but they can change. Why do men think that woman should just fit into their lives and interests? Why do men thinks that woman have no other interest than to immerse themselves into their lives?
I'm so tired of feeling like a loser. Unless I issue an ultimatium I don't think things will ever change...why is it up to me to initiate everything? why? why? why? I'm not enabling in an obivous way but by staying I feel like I condone his behavior. I don't have any idea what he honestly thinks or feels about anything anymore. I don't even know if he knows what the truth is anymore.
I'm so disgusted with my life and myself for doing nothing of value with it. I mean, what's the point? I don't even feel any emotion towards him, it's shifted to myself. I'm so self-absorbed it's crazy. I'm in my head all the time. Not a great way to keep friends or make new ones. I was feeling healthier but lately not so much. I want my old life back...but then I reflect on what I want back? I'm not sure it was that good to begin with, but at least we talked to each other and did things together...I'm rambling. I hate Evony.
OMG, I feel like after reading these posts I've been writing them myself. Evony started out as a 'fun' game that my husband wanted to try. As a matter of fact, I decided to try Evony myself since he seemed to like it so much. Well, very quickly I realized it will take over your life. So since I did try Evony, I do see what's going on with the game and know what it can do to your life. I had no problem stopping.. just said 'no more'! And that was it. I have plenty to keep me busy and didn't need Evony. I had read before of people playing Evony in the group we were in that they were quitting because it was taking too much time out of their 'real life'. Hurray for these guys!! To me, they realized the problem and nipped it in the bud. Oh, but not my husband. It took over and he's not the person he was. First of all, let me say, we've been happily married 35 years! Yes, 35 years. When Evony came in the picture, it started out slowly but now it consumes his every waking hour, except when he's at work. He doesn't have to go to work until like 12:00 noon. Our routine before Evony was he got up, took out the dog and made me coffee and brought it to me in bed and we would both sit in the bed, talk, drink our coffee and watch the morning news. It was relaxing start to the day and kept us connected. Now since 'hooked on Evony' came along, he gets up, lets out the dog and goes to Evony. Sometimes he gets up earlier and doesn't wake me and plays Evony. I think of it as his mistress. Now I usually have to get up now to get my coffee and I'll go back to bed (as our normal routine) and eventually he'll come in, maybe stay 15 minutes and then it's back to Evony. He will stay on Evony until the last second till he has to shower & get ready for work. Any second not spent getting ready for work, he's on Evony in the mornings. If I have breakfast sitting waiting, he'll have to go to the computer first, then immediately after breakfast, he'll be back at Evony, sometimes eating at the computer. He'll leave for work, but not before checking Evony one more time. He leaves it running and I cut it off after he leaves. I hate to even look at the screen. Then he returns from work around 10:00 pm or so, and takes his shoes off and goes to Evony. He'll check everything (which depending on what is happening, will take between 15 minutes or more), he'll then come by and say hello and change clothes and immediately go back to Evony, where he'll stay until bedtime. We used to watch a movie or TV when he came home from work, but not anymore. And if I'm lucky enough to have him in the same room, he'll pause what we're watching to go 'check Evony'. He may come back or he may not. I'll eventually go to bed (telling him I'm going to bed and read), but then I end up falling asleep. He comes to bed whenever.. (last nite it was 3:00 am). Sometimes he'll get up during the night claiming he can't sleep and he'll be on Evony. Then we start the same routine the next morning. I do the housework and chores around the house. He's always done the car maintenance, yard, home maintenance, etc. He's very mechancially inclined and can do practically anything electronically, plumbing, etc. Now he's let the home maintenance slide, I have siding that is coming off and I've asked & asked him to fix it. I asked him weeks ago if he would make me some tomato stakes for my tomatoes. I ended up going in the basement and found wood myself and did it. We've had a mole in our yard tearing our yard to pieces for months. I bought the trap months ago & he said he would fix it. Finally he did it the other day but the yard is torn up horribly now. He looks for things in the basement (which you can't even walk thru hardly because of all his tools, etc.) Today he was looking for something and I said if you'd take the time to clean it up and organize, you could find it and his response "I have things more important to do right now" HUH? What? I could go on and on... even my grown sons have noticed it. They say 'all dad does is stay at that computer on Evony'. Oh, he also secretly opened another bank account because I saw where he had spent $$ on this game from our account. He didn't realize the debit card would come to the house. When I told him we didn't have the money for his Evony addiction he got mad and said it was his money. Oh, and we're going on a cruise with my son and his wife this fall and he said he would be playing Evony on the cruise, and I said "OH, NO YOU WILL NOT"! And with that, I will enforce it. I mentioned it to him again today about playing Evony so much, that people say its addicting (he has been on it all day today since this morning, and he said "don't go there.. I don't want to hear it." So what do I do? I've never experienced anything like this in our 35 years of marriage.
I am addicted. I know it. I read all the stories above and they sound like me. Especially the 'first thing in the morning, playing until I have to go to work, first thing when i get home, playing all evening, until i go to bed'. I also sometimes can't sleep and get up and play during the night. It's not just men who get addicted to Evony. I haven't quit yet. I'm just thinking about it. I'm at work on a lunch break and looking up this website, instead of pursuing the compulsion to check on my alliance an farm a little - just to see.....
My husband walked out on me because of Evony, cleaned out our joint bank account, filed for divorce, had me evicted from where we lived (place belonged to his mother), and did other things too numerous to list here. I had once played the game with him because I thought maybe thats how we could spend time together. That didn't help at all. He stopped doing things around the house; we never went anywhere, just to work then home so he could play his game. He once got up and told me that he was my king. This has been the hardest 4 months of my life. It's like he had a stroke or something. Sometimes it hurts so bad when someone you've spent the last 14 years with won't even look you in the face and they act like your the criminal. He's still playing the game and living his royal life.
Thank you lonelylady, vmaxmasonrya, Ariadne, dustybaby for sharing your heartbreaking stories. Ariadne, I hope you stay at this site and/or seek outside help to fight your addiction and leave Evony...my husband has been strangled by this addiction for 18 months and mostly I STILL can't believe I'm living this life. He still won't talk about it...he's "says" he's off the 3 other servers but I'm not sure whether he's telling me the truth or not...and I think he's confused by his own delusion. But he's still on with his alliance all the time and yes, he farms and sets up his raids before he goes to bed. Fight for Real Life, Ariadne, it's so much better than an empty computer screen.
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