I hit my head against this issue for hours, so I am posting a follow-up in case someone else finds it useful.
If you were manually pushing the change ref, you would pass "-o notedb=allow" (or "--push-option notedb-allow") to the "git push" command.
However, what you need in this case is to set in the "url" in the replication configuration to point the OS SSH server running on the gerrit host (i.e. normally port 22), and not the gerrit SSH endpoint, so that gerrit replication writes directly to the filesystem and bypasses gerrit. E.g. "ssh://phil@server/home/gerrit/review_site/git/${name}.git".
I hope this helps,
Ludovico