Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway Torrent

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Vaniria Setser

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Jun 29, 2024, 6:35:27 AM6/29/24

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An alternative approach is to open up the discussion about fear and losing control during birth. Rather than trying to eliminate fear, it seems more helpful to acknowledge it is part of birth (for most) and to embrace it. Some suggestions:

feel the fear and do it anyway torrent

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There is so much liberation in letting go, I really respect and celebrate any woman who can be herself in her body. Control is counterproductive to instinct. Fear drives instinctive behaviour. You make perfect sense once again! A pleasure to read and a pleasure to ponder.
Thanks

Thanks everyone for your comments. I knew I could rely on you to generously contribute to the post with experiences and opinions. When I direct students and mothers to this site I always tell them to read the comments as they provide valuable insights. ?

Nice one Rach! Yes it is painful , yes it is scary and to deny women their fears is as patriarchal as wanting to control childbirth in a technocratic environment. Childbirth is not owned by anyone but the woman who is experiencing it. What she feels is hers; to deny her of her emotions is doing a great disservice to women.

Thank you! This is exactly how I have felt. I have labored 4 times. The first three ended in c-section. The third was a homebirth turned hospital transfer. That was the most damaging. A homebirth midwife I trusted to hold the space for me tormented and traumatized me physically and emotionally. Her patriarchal approach was the hardest to deal with because I trusted her to be different. I feel that to deny a woman her feelings no matter what they are is to blame her for even having them. I had fear of being judged for having fear. The happy ending is that I found an amazing, supportive, loving, accepting midwife to attend me at home with my fourth child and gave birth in my bedroom after 3 c-sections. I know I could have never done this without her complete acceptance of all of my responses to pain in labor including fear.

My second experience giving birth was ecstatic and completely pain-free and I expected number 3 to be easy at the very least . . I was shocked at feeling intense pain, some fear, need for reassurance, etc.

Hi! You are so kind. Not just in your response to me, but in many of the replies you have posted. I spent hours reading through your blog last night. Yes, menstruation was traumatic. My first was a flood, and the woman gynecologist was harsh and very clinical. BTW, I live in Canada.

When I was still working as a life coach and consultant, I regularly heard from people who were interested in working with me but also felt fear and nervousness around the idea of doing the deep work of learning to trust themselves. As an example, during the enrollment period for one of my programs, I posted a question box in my IG stories for people to submit any questions they might have about joining, and one person wrote, "I know I need this, but I'm also weirdly afraid. That's where the good stuff lives right

Rather than encouraging them to push down their fears and sign up already (something I would have never said to a prospective client but that a lot of business owners would), I responded by assuring them their fears were completely normal, not weird, and talking about the role of fear in decision-making. I thought y'all might want to hear more about that too.

As annoying as fear can be sometimes, it has an essential biological purpose. Fear exists to warn us about perceived threats, both physical and emotional, in order to keep us safe. And one of the places where fear regularly crops up is around new experiences. The unfamiliar is a nice blank canvas for our brains to color in with "what ifs" and assumptions about ourselves, what we're capable of, and what other people might think (and we usually go straight for the negative ones).

Think about the difference between a "Do Not Enter, Wrong Way" sign you'd encounter trying to enter the highway on an offramp versus a stop sign at an intersection. The former is an immediate cause for concern that's meant to keep you from continuing because if you ignore it, you'll be in imminent danger. The latter is something you'd expect to see while driving that tells you to stop temporarily and assess your surroundings before continuing on. There might be danger in the form of other vehicles at the intersection or people crossing in the crosswalk, but not necessarily.

Both types of signs exist to protect you in certain circumstances, but they're not interchangeable. If you treat every stop sign like a "Do Not Enter, Wrong Way" sign, you'll never make any forward progress. And the same is true if you treat feeling fear as a reason to never try anything new.

Only you can decide if doing the thing you're afraid of is worth it. It might not be! Or it might not be right now. And that's okay. But don't make the mistake of assuming that the simple presence of fear means you don't want to do something or shouldn't do something.

The person who asked me the question about feeling afraid to sign up for my program ended up signing up. Not because they magically became unafraid, but because they realized their fear didn't have to stop them from doing something they felt could really benefit them. And the same can be true for you.

p.s. In today's newsletter, I am speaking to fear in general. If you experience an anxiety or fear-based disorder like generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, OCD, certain phobias, etc., your mileage may vary with what I suggested. Nothing is ever one size fits all.

When I was still working as a life coach and consultant, I regularly heard from people who were interested in working with me but also felt fear and nervousness around the idea of doing the deep work of learning to trust themselves. As an example, during the enrollment period for one of my programs, I posted a question box in my IG stories for people to submit any questions they might have about joining, and one person wrote, \\\"I know I need this, but I'm also weirdly afraid. That's where the good stuff lives right

As annoying as fear can be sometimes, it has an essential biological purpose. Fear exists to warn us about perceived threats, both physical and emotional, in order to keep us safe. And one of the places where fear regularly crops up is around new experiences. The unfamiliar is a nice blank canvas for our brains to color in with \\\"what ifs\\\" and assumptions about ourselves, what we're capable of, and what other people might think (and we usually go straight for the negative ones).

Think about the difference between a \\\"Do Not Enter, Wrong Way\\\" sign you'd encounter trying to enter the highway on an offramp versus a stop sign at an intersection. The former is an immediate cause for concern that's meant to keep you from continuing because if you ignore it, you'll be in imminent danger. The latter is something you'd expect to see while driving that tells you to stop temporarily and assess your surroundings before continuing on. There might be danger in the form of other vehicles at the intersection or people crossing in the crosswalk, but not necessarily.

Both types of signs exist to protect you in certain circumstances, but they're not interchangeable. If you treat every stop sign like a \\\"Do Not Enter, Wrong Way\\\" sign, you'll never make any forward progress. And the same is true if you treat feeling fear as a reason to never try anything new.

I remember how she gave me tasks like buying a soft drink and some snacks at the local Piggly Wiggly. I was in middle school, so it was a short walk to the store. Walking in there was pretty scary cuz it was a big store and also smelled funny.

So I know when it comes to fear, I totally get it. Years later, my executive coach recommended that I get a copy of Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, which was published in 1987 (Along with a book called Worry by Edward M Hallowell).

She believes that the key to overcoming fear is to focus on the present moment and to take action even when your fear is present. Jeffers offers practical techniques for managing fear and for developing a more positive outlook on your life.

Facing Your Fears: Take action and face your fears, even when they feel afraid. She believes that taking small steps toward your goals can build confidence and reduce the power of fear.

Jeffers was so excited to share what she learned that first, she became a teacher and then an author. After Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway became an international bestseller, she went on to write 16 more bestselling books, recorded many audios, became a sought-after public speaker, and TV and radio guest. What made her such a compelling author and speaker was her willingness to reveal so much of herself and the struggles she faced. With humor, she was able to connect to her readers in a way that is still unusual and much beloved.