NEWSLETTER from M. Winell: RETREATS in May, June, and more
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Recovery from Religion
Apr 12, 2009, 11:56:15 PM4/12/09
to recoveryfr...@googlegroups.com
Hello friends,
We hope you are enjoying Spring! In this newsletter:
1. Retreat information for Massachusetts May 1-3 and Colorado in June
2. Our "virtual" support group
3. Article, "Easter, Death, and Life"
4. New recovery website
Please feel free to distribute this information to anyone you think might benefit. And try to come to a retreat! Even if you are not "recovering" you can be of assistance or learn to help others. This is a serious area of need.
Stay in touch!
Kind regards,
Marlene Winell,
Ryan Wadsworth, and the teams of generous volunteers
1. Retreat information:
This program is for you if you want to let go of toxic, authoritarian beliefs and
reclaim your ability to trust your own feelings and think for yourself.
Leaving your faith can be a very difficult process, but you don’t have to go it alone.
At a Release and Reclaim Recovery Retreat participants can:
• Share personal stories
• Examine key issues
• Learn coping strategies
• Meet others and build a support system
• Enjoy meals, relaxation, and fun at a home with hot tub, fireplace, canoes
These retreats are led by Marlene Winell, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion. Dr. Winell has a private practice in Berkeley, CA and also consults by telephone.
COST: Sliding scale: $220 - $320 for workshop, $125 for room and board (all meals included). Other financial help available - PLEASE ASK. $20 off if paid in full by April 15.
TO REGISTER: Write to recoveryfr...@gmail.com (subject line “retreat registration”) or call Dr. Winell directly at 510.292.0509. Retreat space is limited so contact us as soon as possible.
WANT TO TALK? If you are unsure if this is for you, please feel welcome to call and chat. Just call Marlene at 510-292-0509. You can also talk with someone who came to a previous retreat.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, testimonials, and videos, please visit www.marlenewinell.net
2. Support group:
What do we do? We have monthly conference CALLS for discussing subjects on our minds and providing support to each other. We also have an online group site for our FORUM and other features at http://groups.google.com/group/reclaim.
New members are invited to post profiles, including your religious/spiritual history and story of recovery to date. The site has profiles and discussion threads which have been very interesting. The group members are very supportive and thoughtful. I take an active role as a therapist in moving discussions forward so that we are focused on healing and growth rather than simply talking about what we have been through.
As a member you have access to:
- A forum for discussion. From our phone calls and the topics suggested so far, we have the following topics: relationships with friends and family in the "fold," alternative views of spirituality, creativity, sexuality, and developing new friends/social support networks. More topics can be started, and we post information from our phone talks.
- Room to post creative writing (get published!)
- Reports and photos from retreats.
- Exercises for healing and growth related to the topics we are discussing.
- Articles
- Humor
- Information on Resources such as book reviews, films, and conferences
This group is for people who have worked with me already on issues related to religious recovery, or who have discussed their situation with me directly. The reason for this is to have some commonality and trust. The group is confidential like any therapy group, and I safeguard everybody's safety and privacy. Membership is by invitation following an interview with me.
Membership involves a subscription of $30/month, and a sliding scale is available.
Please email me for more information or call and discuss at no obligation. 510-292-0509, mwi...@gmail.com.
3. Article
It’s Easter; I have memories of getting up early year after year as a child to go to Easter Sunrise Service. We gathered somewhere outdoors, simulating the women and disciples who went to Jesus’ tomb in the early morning on the day of his resurrection. We sang certain hymns that were only for Easter – “Christ the Lord is ris’n today, Ha-a-a-a-He -lelujah,” “He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talks with me, along life’s narrow way!” I liked it – the brisk early morning, the feeling of life and hope, the joy of the music. Unlike a lot of other church experiences, it was a day of celebration. And what a profound message – death has been conquered! Just put your faith in Christ.
And now? It’s been many years and I’m no longer a Christian. I do not believe I will continue after I die. In my work as a psychologist, I work with people coming out of religion. There are many issues to deal with, and top or the list for many is this question of death and hellfire. The indoctrination is deep and insidious, a form of child abuse in my opinion. Even without hell, the idea of nonexistence (if that is the direction of change in belief), is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. Fundamentalist Christianity downgrades a human lifetime compared to eternity and denigrates the whole world as fallen. How many times were we told to focus on where we will be in the hereafter? The result is fear, because no one is certain, and also neglect of the life that we have now.
For those of you who are anxious today and struggle with the idea of death, I can tell you that it is possible to stop fearing damnation. I certainly have and many other former believers have too. It is a phobia indoctrination that serves the religion. If you think you should believe “just in case,” think about what you would be missing. Essentially, your life. The greatest challenge for a human is to know about death, and live fully in the face of it. Other animals can more easily “be here now,” and we can learn from them. However, we have more awareness and it is our existential dilemma to make peace with death.
In a way, we do continue on. Our molecules get rearranged and become other things; nothing is lost, not one atom. This is the First Law of Thermodynamics – all matter and energy is conserved. I find it beautiful to walk in a forest and see a fallen tree where it is decomposing, nourishing the earth, and causing new life to spring up. And if you worry about your soul, ask yourself, “Where were “you” before you were born?” Is that so frightening?
No, we are better off paying attention to the present. This life is limited but so are a lot of things. The Christian attitude of denigrating life because it is short makes no sense. Is a wonderful meal any less wonderful because it ends? When you are listening to incredible music, are you upset because you know the piece will finish? Hopefully not, and we can extend that lesson to life itself. People who have a brush with death often learn to appreciate life in a special way. Our time on this earth is precious. Perhaps when we cherish our days, honor what is possible, love our fellow humans as best we can, and look at the world with awe and wonder, we can achieve a spirituality of a different kind. Of our own free will, we can commit acts of random kindness and dance for no reason at all. Death be damned.
For the recovering fundamentalist, reclaiming intuition and learning to trust one’s inner wisdom is an exciting process. We are not empty, weak, incapable, or bad. We are all interconnected and a part of our amazing universe. Even Einstein said thinking we are individuals is an illusion. One day, when I was a little discouraged, I wrote to myself from the wise part of me (yes, we are all multiples), and then wondered about that voice. This is what emerged, and it applies to all of us, so I hope you find a bit of inspiration too. I asked where the encouragement was coming from:
“This is from the force that makes the new shoot grow between concrete slabs. This is from the symmetry of fractals. This is from the incomprehensible distance of space, this is from the sound waves that blend and beat and tell you to dance, this is from the little child that looks at you clearly with no fear and says hi, this is from the unadulterated force of the sea under you and all around you when you swim in the ocean, the sea that takes no prisoners when the tide comes in, the sea that spawned life, and the same sea that sends a wave spreading up the sand to your bare feet, with rhythmic purring caress, bringing you the gems that make you smile - the perfect tiny shell, the fragment of blue glass that you tuck in your pocket.
“This is from the cosmic red afterglow of the big bang. This is from all eleven dimensions, from all the things you don't understand and like that you don't understand. This is from the parallel universes that come with the eleven dimensions, penetrating the membrane. This is from the aquifer beneath all of you, the source feeding flashes of human greatness. This is from the massive network of fungus, hidden from view under seemingly separate plants. This is from the power behind the form, the elusive explanation, the delectable mystery. I only have one thing to say to you right now - and that is REMEMBER ME. You are not alone. You always have a reason to go on. and there is no choice; you will go on anyway. Ineffable and inexorable, both. The tide is coming in again today; the ocean has not been deciding.”
Happy Spring!
Marlene Winell
marlenewinell.net
mwi...@gmail.com
510-292-0509
4. New website
This site is our effort to create a collection of resources and services that may be helpful to people who are in the process of recovering from harmful religious indoctrination.
A team of about a dozen of us are currently organizing and redesigning RecoveryFromReligion.org into a new content-rich site that will replace this current placeholder. We will have messages of hope and information about how to recover and thrive. Resources will be listed for counseling, groups, retreats, events, and materials helpful to the recovery process.
Quite a few excellent websites already exist that offer testimonials and theological debates. We believe that in addition to the intellectual work needed to get free of old beliefs, there are psychological and interpersonal areas of growth that need attention. The new recoveryfromreligion.org will emphasize pathways to health. (we are considering other names for the website since not all religion is toxic, eg. Journey Free)
Building this resource is an exciting but sizable task with many opportunities for people to help (not just web designers!). If you would like to be notified about upcoming conference calls and opportunities to help with this effort, contact Ryan Wadsworth: ryan...@gmail.com
Even if you don't get involved, we would welcome a short paragraph from you to post under "Messages of Hope." These are to encourage folks who are struggling with letting go of a toxic belief system but are afraid. They need to know that healing is possible and that there are alternatives. If you have some supportive words, please contribute. You can write about what's better about where you are now and what was helpful in your recovery process. Thanks!!!!! It matters!
We hope you are enjoying Spring! In this newsletter:
1. Retreat information for Massachusetts May 1-3 and Colorado in June
2. Our "virtual" support group
3. Article, "Easter, Death, and Life"
4. New recovery website
Please feel free to distribute this information to anyone you think might benefit. And try to come to a retreat! Even if you are not "recovering" you can be of assistance or learn to help others. This is a serious area of need.
Stay in touch!
Kind regards,
Marlene Winell,
Ryan Wadsworth, and the teams of generous volunteers
1. Retreat information:
Leaving Your Religion?
It's not the end of the world!
Join us for a powerful weekend with others who can understand and support you.
It's not the end of the world!
Join us for a powerful weekend with others who can understand and support you.
“RELEASE AND RECLAIM” Recovery Retreat
May 1-3, 2009; Oakham, Mass. (near Worcester)
Friday at 7pm until Sunday at 3pm, at a beautiful lakeside home on six acres
(also Denver area June 5-7 and June 12-14)
May 1-3, 2009; Oakham, Mass. (near Worcester)
Friday at 7pm until Sunday at 3pm, at a beautiful lakeside home on six acres
(also Denver area June 5-7 and June 12-14)
This program is for you if you want to let go of toxic, authoritarian beliefs and
reclaim your ability to trust your own feelings and think for yourself.
Leaving your faith can be a very difficult process, but you don’t have to go it alone.
At a Release and Reclaim Recovery Retreat participants can:
• Share personal stories
• Examine key issues
• Learn coping strategies
• Meet others and build a support system
• Enjoy meals, relaxation, and fun at a home with hot tub, fireplace, canoes
These retreats are led by Marlene Winell, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion. Dr. Winell has a private practice in Berkeley, CA and also consults by telephone.
COST: Sliding scale: $220 - $320 for workshop, $125 for room and board (all meals included). Other financial help available - PLEASE ASK. $20 off if paid in full by April 15.
TO REGISTER: Write to recoveryfr...@gmail.com (subject line “retreat registration”) or call Dr. Winell directly at 510.292.0509. Retreat space is limited so contact us as soon as possible.
WANT TO TALK? If you are unsure if this is for you, please feel welcome to call and chat. Just call Marlene at 510-292-0509. You can also talk with someone who came to a previous retreat.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, testimonials, and videos, please visit www.marlenewinell.net
MORE RETREATS in DENVER : June 5-7 & June 12-14
“Release and Reclaim” virtual support/therapy group
What do we do? We have monthly conference CALLS for discussing subjects on our minds and providing support to each other. We also have an online group site for our FORUM and other features at http://groups.google.com/group/reclaim.
New members are invited to post profiles, including your religious/spiritual history and story of recovery to date. The site has profiles and discussion threads which have been very interesting. The group members are very supportive and thoughtful. I take an active role as a therapist in moving discussions forward so that we are focused on healing and growth rather than simply talking about what we have been through.
As a member you have access to:
- A forum for discussion. From our phone calls and the topics suggested so far, we have the following topics: relationships with friends and family in the "fold," alternative views of spirituality, creativity, sexuality, and developing new friends/social support networks. More topics can be started, and we post information from our phone talks.
- Room to post creative writing (get published!)
- Reports and photos from retreats.
- Exercises for healing and growth related to the topics we are discussing.
- Articles
- Humor
- Information on Resources such as book reviews, films, and conferences
This group is for people who have worked with me already on issues related to religious recovery, or who have discussed their situation with me directly. The reason for this is to have some commonality and trust. The group is confidential like any therapy group, and I safeguard everybody's safety and privacy. Membership is by invitation following an interview with me.
Membership involves a subscription of $30/month, and a sliding scale is available.
Please email me for more information or call and discuss at no obligation. 510-292-0509, mwi...@gmail.com.
3. Article
EASTER, DEATH, AND LIFE
by Marlene Winell
by Marlene Winell
It’s Easter; I have memories of getting up early year after year as a child to go to Easter Sunrise Service. We gathered somewhere outdoors, simulating the women and disciples who went to Jesus’ tomb in the early morning on the day of his resurrection. We sang certain hymns that were only for Easter – “Christ the Lord is ris’n today, Ha-a-a-a-He -lelujah,” “He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talks with me, along life’s narrow way!” I liked it – the brisk early morning, the feeling of life and hope, the joy of the music. Unlike a lot of other church experiences, it was a day of celebration. And what a profound message – death has been conquered! Just put your faith in Christ.
And now? It’s been many years and I’m no longer a Christian. I do not believe I will continue after I die. In my work as a psychologist, I work with people coming out of religion. There are many issues to deal with, and top or the list for many is this question of death and hellfire. The indoctrination is deep and insidious, a form of child abuse in my opinion. Even without hell, the idea of nonexistence (if that is the direction of change in belief), is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. Fundamentalist Christianity downgrades a human lifetime compared to eternity and denigrates the whole world as fallen. How many times were we told to focus on where we will be in the hereafter? The result is fear, because no one is certain, and also neglect of the life that we have now.
For those of you who are anxious today and struggle with the idea of death, I can tell you that it is possible to stop fearing damnation. I certainly have and many other former believers have too. It is a phobia indoctrination that serves the religion. If you think you should believe “just in case,” think about what you would be missing. Essentially, your life. The greatest challenge for a human is to know about death, and live fully in the face of it. Other animals can more easily “be here now,” and we can learn from them. However, we have more awareness and it is our existential dilemma to make peace with death.
In a way, we do continue on. Our molecules get rearranged and become other things; nothing is lost, not one atom. This is the First Law of Thermodynamics – all matter and energy is conserved. I find it beautiful to walk in a forest and see a fallen tree where it is decomposing, nourishing the earth, and causing new life to spring up. And if you worry about your soul, ask yourself, “Where were “you” before you were born?” Is that so frightening?
No, we are better off paying attention to the present. This life is limited but so are a lot of things. The Christian attitude of denigrating life because it is short makes no sense. Is a wonderful meal any less wonderful because it ends? When you are listening to incredible music, are you upset because you know the piece will finish? Hopefully not, and we can extend that lesson to life itself. People who have a brush with death often learn to appreciate life in a special way. Our time on this earth is precious. Perhaps when we cherish our days, honor what is possible, love our fellow humans as best we can, and look at the world with awe and wonder, we can achieve a spirituality of a different kind. Of our own free will, we can commit acts of random kindness and dance for no reason at all. Death be damned.
For the recovering fundamentalist, reclaiming intuition and learning to trust one’s inner wisdom is an exciting process. We are not empty, weak, incapable, or bad. We are all interconnected and a part of our amazing universe. Even Einstein said thinking we are individuals is an illusion. One day, when I was a little discouraged, I wrote to myself from the wise part of me (yes, we are all multiples), and then wondered about that voice. This is what emerged, and it applies to all of us, so I hope you find a bit of inspiration too. I asked where the encouragement was coming from:
“This is from the force that makes the new shoot grow between concrete slabs. This is from the symmetry of fractals. This is from the incomprehensible distance of space, this is from the sound waves that blend and beat and tell you to dance, this is from the little child that looks at you clearly with no fear and says hi, this is from the unadulterated force of the sea under you and all around you when you swim in the ocean, the sea that takes no prisoners when the tide comes in, the sea that spawned life, and the same sea that sends a wave spreading up the sand to your bare feet, with rhythmic purring caress, bringing you the gems that make you smile - the perfect tiny shell, the fragment of blue glass that you tuck in your pocket.
“This is from the cosmic red afterglow of the big bang. This is from all eleven dimensions, from all the things you don't understand and like that you don't understand. This is from the parallel universes that come with the eleven dimensions, penetrating the membrane. This is from the aquifer beneath all of you, the source feeding flashes of human greatness. This is from the massive network of fungus, hidden from view under seemingly separate plants. This is from the power behind the form, the elusive explanation, the delectable mystery. I only have one thing to say to you right now - and that is REMEMBER ME. You are not alone. You always have a reason to go on. and there is no choice; you will go on anyway. Ineffable and inexorable, both. The tide is coming in again today; the ocean has not been deciding.”
Happy Spring!
Marlene Winell
marlenewinell.net
mwi...@gmail.com
510-292-0509
4. New website
Under Construction: the RecoveryFromReligion.org team is working on a major site redesign
This site is our effort to create a collection of resources and services that may be helpful to people who are in the process of recovering from harmful religious indoctrination.
A team of about a dozen of us are currently organizing and redesigning RecoveryFromReligion.org into a new content-rich site that will replace this current placeholder. We will have messages of hope and information about how to recover and thrive. Resources will be listed for counseling, groups, retreats, events, and materials helpful to the recovery process.
Quite a few excellent websites already exist that offer testimonials and theological debates. We believe that in addition to the intellectual work needed to get free of old beliefs, there are psychological and interpersonal areas of growth that need attention. The new recoveryfromreligion.org will emphasize pathways to health. (we are considering other names for the website since not all religion is toxic, eg. Journey Free)
Building this resource is an exciting but sizable task with many opportunities for people to help (not just web designers!). If you would like to be notified about upcoming conference calls and opportunities to help with this effort, contact Ryan Wadsworth: ryan...@gmail.com
Even if you don't get involved, we would welcome a short paragraph from you to post under "Messages of Hope." These are to encourage folks who are struggling with letting go of a toxic belief system but are afraid. They need to know that healing is possible and that there are alternatives. If you have some supportive words, please contribute. You can write about what's better about where you are now and what was helpful in your recovery process. Thanks!!!!! It matters!
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