A recovery thought
archie
We don’t have to understand the Steps to do them, do them and then we will understand them.
We don’t join A.A. by making meetings but by living A.A.
THINGS MY SPONSORS TAUGHT ME
"Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous!"
...the alcoholic can recover from alcoholism but cannot be cured.
..."We all have another drunk in us; we don’t know whether we have another recovery in us."
...my recovery is an ongoing process that can be interrupted anytime I pick up a drink, no matter how many years I may have with the A.A. program.
Whatever number of meetings you think you need to stay sober, add one.
For the newly-sober, there’s no such thing as "too many meetings."
If you keep on going to meetings where nobody knows you, nobody will notice when you stop going--or when you die.
If you ever go to an A.A. meeting and you don’t like it, look into the mirror to find out why.
The premise here is that one should be able to get something valuable out of any meeting, and the only barrier to this is ourselves.
What makes a home group effective is the attitude of its members.
Any alcoholic who has been sober all day today has something of value to tell you--all you have to do is open your ears.
Something is what you have to say may make all the difference in whether some poor drunk lives or dies--and you never know.
...it’s dangerous to anyone’s sobriety to have a sponsor who is not stable in recovery and is not following a solid A.A. Program.
If you take the booze away from a drunken s.o.b., what’s left is an s.o.b. unless something is done about it, you’ll have a drunken s.o.b. again, and you can count of it--that’s what the Steps are all about, changing the s.o.b.
The Steps are in that order for the best of all possible reasons--they work that way!
There is divine logic in the order of the Twelve Steps. As we work each Step, we look deeper and deeper into ourselves. It’s not possible to work Step One through Twelve without experiencing a profound, positive change.
A simplified summary of the first Three Steps is: I can’t, He can, I’m going to let Him.
The first Three Steps have to do with a personal statement of powerlessness, a belief that a Higher Power can and will intervene in our behalf, and a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to this Higher Power.
I don’t care who knows I’m an alcoholic, so long as I don’t ever forget it!
Abstinence is the best way to prevent alcoholism from progressing to its natural termination--which could be your termination.
If your sobriety isn’t your absolute top priority, the most important thing in your life, you’re going to get drunk again.
...wives, husbands, jobs, faith, family, health, and wealth all dissolve in alcohol.
If you keep on doing what you used to do, you’ll keep on getting what you used to get.
If your both a smoker and a recovering alcoholic, the wisdom of A.A. is, "Take care of one addiction at a time.” My sponsors thought the effort of achieving stable sobriety was so important that they didn’t recommend I stop smoking at the same time. "Wait awhile," they said, "get your drinking out of the way first. Then, when you’re sober, you can afford to think about your smoking.” Sobriety must not share the top spot on your priorities list with anything, or else you may not maintain it.
Whenever you see a drunk, remember that it is, but for the grace of God, yourself you see.
If you’re in a real pinch, try the short form of the Serenity Prayer: "Screw it." You’ll be surprised how effective it can be.
...ask for help in staying sober. This doesn’t mean we’re entitled to ask God to keep us sober; we can ask for help, but the job is ours.
..."Without God, we cannot; without us, God will not.” We ask for God’s help, not his performance; that’s our department.
If you call me at three am when you’re drunk and tell me you can’t sleep, I’ll tell you I can and hang up on you.
The purpose of a sponsor is to be a combination of a teacher, guide, cop, friend, and role model. The purpose of a sponsor is not to be an alcoholism counselor. My sponsor’s remark illustrates this point. I do know some alcoholics who called their sponsors when they had been drinking, and the sponsors hung up on them. The time to use a sponsor wisely is when the urge to drink has just appeared, not when it has succeeded. Implicit in the remark I’ve quoted is the teaching that a sponsor is there to talk with regularly and to go to meetings with, but not to use as a crisis line.
Alcoholics are so needy and dependent it’s difficult to avoid rescuing them from the consequences of their drinking. But rescuing them only enables them to drink more.
Any alcoholic who can put his or her head on the pillow at night sober has had a good day, no matter what else has gone wrong.
There’s nothing so bad for an alcoholic that a drink won’t make worse.
"Think of the worst possible thing that could happen to you," my sponsors said. "Imagine that this hideous thing has just happened to you, and you go to a bar to drown your sorrows. Will drinking do anything about your situation? Will it make it any better? Of course not!"
Paul H.
+Alcoholics are like tea bags, they don’t work until they’re in hot water.
Always Say A Prayer
archie
We don’t need to die from alcoholism but we will die with it.
We don’t strive to feel good in A.A., we strive for sobriety, whether we feel awful at the end of the day or wonderful, we need to take responsibility for that, if we are sober at the end of the day, give God and the Fellowship of A.A. credit for that.
THOUGHTS TO TAKE TO A MEETING
I will make sure that what I say will be helpful to someone, and not merely use the meeting as an audience for my troubles.
I will listen to everything that is said so I will have some constructive ideas to take home with me and use.
I will not yield to my compulsion to go on talking after I have made my point--and what I say will have a direct relevance to the subject of the meeting.
If someone asks for advice, I will give it only in terms of A.A. principles, and not suggest action to be taken.
If I have a personal problem to discuss, I will talk about it to my sponsor before or after the meeting, or by telephone between meetings.
I will not waste a single minute of that one hour of an A.A. meeting when we can be together to share experience, strength and hope.
If I want to determine how much help an A.A. meeting gave, I should ask: (a) How many of the people there have learned something new about applying A.A. principles?, (b) How many have given a constructive idea to take away with them and use?
Source unknown
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AN ATTITUDE TO TAKE TO MEETINGS
One meeting we had was on the twenty first floor of a downtown office building. A mountain had fallen on the city’s only power plant, and so there was no electricity on for over four months! We had to walk up the twenty one flights of stairs. The meeting got very small. At one point all of us who attended there regularly were out of town except for Bill. He was an older man, quite overweight, and not in very good physical condition. Getting up those twenty one flights of stairs was quite an effort for him. But I found out that while we were all gone, he had walked up those twenty one flights three times a week and sat in that room alone. I asked him why he did that, since he knew that we were all out of town. He said, "Somebody might have come up those stairs looking for an A.A. meeting, and I just had to be there in case that happened."
A Woman Like You: page 52
Don D. went to an A.A. meeting one evening. He frowned when a member mispronounced a few words while reading "How It Works." He felt appalled when another member stood up and said he was an alcoholic and an addict. Another person talked to long. As he slipped out the door immediately after the meeting, he muttered, "That was terrible. I should have stayed home."
Bob M. went to a meeting one evening. His head was bowed as he listened to the "Preamble" and "How It Works." His eyes moistened as he listened to a member tell his story. He was grateful for being able to attend this meeting. After clean-up and a little socializing he paused, and as he locked the meeting room door, his thoughts were, "Thank God for such a beautiful fellowship.
Both A.A. members were at the same meeting. Each found what they were looking for.
Stepping Stones to Recovery, page 116
An alcoholic was in his back yard trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few 2nds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window. She yelled out to him, “You need a piece of tail.’ The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, ‘Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.’
archie
We drank for happiness and became unhappy, we drank for sociability and became argumentative, we drank for the feeling and then we drank not to feel, we drank to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, we drank wanting to be someone else, in A.A. we learn to be ourselves.
We either move away from a drink or toward one.
SPONSORSHIP
WE BETTER HELP OTHERS TODAY FOR WE MAY NEED TOMORROW
I met a stranger in the night,
Whose lamp had ceased to shine.
I paused and let him light
His lamp from mine.
A storm came up in the night,
And shook the world about,
And when it finally had calmed down,
My lamp was out.
But back to me this stranger came,
His lamp still growing fine,
He had retained that precious flame.
This time his lamp lit mine!
Author unknown
An alcoholic was at a town meeting held to decide whether liquor sales should be illegal in the village. Our man was against it, prohibition, we mean. "I tell you," he said, "whiskey once saved my life!” "How could that be?" someone asked. "Well, I was livin’ on a farm over in the next county, back then," he replied. "1 day, I was settin’ in the house when I got such a overpowerin’ thirst for a drink of booze that I hitched up my mare and went into town to the tavern. And y’know, while I was there, a cyclone come through my farm and smashed my house to bits!"
archie
We find comfort among those who agree with us growth among those who don’t.
We find in sobriety what we were looking for in the bottle: we wanted peace, God gave us peace, we wanted acceptance, God accepted us, we wanted to be loved, God assured us that He loves us.
TYPE OF PEOPLE IN A.A.
We have finally had all the fun we can stand. We have bought the ticket that is required for admission to Alcoholics Anonymous; that longing, that yearning, that burning desire to quit drinking for good and all. Wouldn’t we like to know who is going to be there to answer that most important question, What do I have to do to avoid death or insanity from drinking? What other legitimate reason is there for seeking help through Alcoholics Anonymous? There is none. The only requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is a desire to stop drinking. It doesn’t say anything nor does it say or anything. Just a burning desire to stop starting. What’s the answer to that question, Who will be there to help the serious drinker? It appears that in many groups, there will be five types of folks the ones seeking help will encounter. They are:
1) There will be the players. These are the ones who have the answer because they know what is in the basic text for Alcoholics Anonymous. They will know because they have and do study the text and apply the directions they find there to their lives day in and day out. They have recovered and have been given the power to help others. They are the ones who not only are the real leaders of their group but they are the ones who go to the wind-up places searching out, going to, approaching the suffering serious drinker to try to carry the message, I have been where you are. I truly understand. I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I’d like to help you, if you will let me. They make for the kind of sponsors we all wish we could find. Unfortunately, in today’s fellowship, they are few.
2) Then there are the sayers. They have read the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve and probably a lot of other stuff. They sound real good in meetings. They know all the right things to say. But their time is far too important to go to the Alano Clubs, Salvation Army, soup kitchens, shelters, etc. They believe it is best to sit in the comfort of their meeting place and wait for the ones seeking help to show up. The message they have to pass on is varied but most likely will not be, Are you willing to go to any length for victory over alcohol? If you are, let me explain the problem (alcoholism) as it is described in the Doctor’s Opinion and then we’ll talk about the solution we have found. No, they will most likely suggest that you don’t drink and go to meetings and maybe you can recover by osmosis. Just sit and listen to us talk.
3) Then there are the fakers. They may have had a little trouble with drinking at some point in their life but they are not alcoholic. They are described several places in the Big Book, specifically on ps. 20, 21. They might be a hard drinker or a drunk. The main difference between the real alcoholic and the drunk is very simple. The drunk could quit drinking if they would. The real alcoholic would quit drinking if he could. They do not have to take the action outlined in the Twelve Steps to stay away from drinking. They are strong for don’t drink and go to meetings or far worse, you should go to ninety meetings in ninety days. You shouldn’t rush into taking the Steps. Take your time until you figure out what this thing is all about. I’ve never had to take the Steps and I haven’t had a drink since God dug the river. They are the ones my good friend in Houston calls the, Get out the tissues--I’ve got some issues bunch. These phonies are bad enough but we have one other type of individual sitting in our meetings and they are:
4) Those who have absolutely no business of sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. They have never had a problem with drinking alcoholic liquids. They may have problems with drugs or narcotics or gambling or dependency on other people or sex or any number of other types of problems. But a problem with alcohol is not one of them. And, unfortunately, in some groups, they are permitted to talk about whatever is bothering them at that moment.
5) Then there are the undecided. They are the newcomers who sit in meetings trying to figure out what the Program is all about. They see the Steps and Traditions on the wall but are unsure of what it takes to recover. The more they listen in meetings, the more confused they become. Many of us have qualified for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous because we have hit that point in our life where we are willing to go to any length to never have to try to sober up ever again. We ask that question, What do I have to do to never go through this misery again? And the answer then are given is, just keep coming back, or don’t drink and go to meetings or you really need to go to ninety meetings for ninety days. And they might even hear someone say, If you really want to whip this drinking problem, let’s get you a Big Book, read it and then I’ll help you take the action those recovered alcoholics report they took and see if this Program will work for you as well as it did for them and for me. But that voice is in the minority. When over ninety percent of the folks who are in meetings or sitting around drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and telling how awful their drinking was but haven’t had to take the Steps to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, who will the newcomer listen to?
Well, the undecided are the ones our meetings are suppose to be for. To help them understand the difference between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic and if they are, in fact, real alcoholics, here is our solution. The question is then asked, Are you willing to go to any length for victory over alcohol? If the answer is yes, let’s get busy in taking the Steps so you too can become a recovered alcoholic. That is what we are here for. To protect our sobriety by trying to carry this message, yes, I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the Steps and I’ll help you if you want what I have. What do I have? I know a new freedom and a new happiness. I don’t regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I comprehend the word serenity and I know peace. No matter how far down the scale I had gone, I see how my experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity has disappeared. I have lost interest in selfish things and gained interest in my fellows. Self seeking has slipped away. My whole attitude and outlook upon life has changed. Fear of people and economic insecurity has left me. I normally intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle me. Today, I fully realize that God is doing for me what I could not and cannot do for myself. If that is what you want more than anything on earth, I’ll help you get it. Be a player!
Source unknown
An alcoholic was in Home Depot the other day pushing his cart around when he collided with a young guy pushing his cart. He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate. I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?" I said, "Doesn't matter the drunk replies, let's look for yours."
archie
We find the Spirit of the Universe by taking the 12 Steps of A.A.
We gave time to drinking; now we need to give time to our recovery.
TYPES OF MEETINGS
When we take a serious look at the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it becomes clear that it is still as effective as it was from 1939 to 1955; very effective with at least a seventy five percent success rate. That is being reproduced today in groups and institutions around a good portion of the world where emphasis is placed on the study and application of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as outlined in the basic text Alcoholics Anonymous rather than on meetings. To say that our Program is not successful would be about as intelligent as walking into the headquarters of Microsoft and say, “Bill Gates isn’t successful”. Not too smart.
No, our Program is very solid, but the Fellowship is quite a different matter. Many segments of our Fellowship are so far removed from our Program (the life giving Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous protected by the life saving Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous) that it is impossible to recognize why they are there. It seems that in our Fellowship today, there are three basic types of A.A. meetings.
First, there is the A.A. meeting that is “Alcoholics Anonymous”. In these meetings, we hear recovered alcoholics talk about what they were like, what happened and what they are like today. Or the meeting is a study of the Big Book, the Steps or the Traditions. Particular attention is directed toward the newcomers. These groups adhere to the Fifth Tradition. Also these groups take a “Group Inventory” periodically to assure that they are adhering to all of our treasured Traditions. Group Conscience meetings normally have to do with what the group can do to better to attract and help suffering alcoholics. These groups are always successful.
The second type of A.A. meeting is the “Almost Anything” meeting. There will be a few recovered alcoholics who talk about the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, but there will be some “and as” and the discussion of issues, expression of ideas and opinions and isolated but unrelated experiences. These groups believe they don’t need a group inventory and their Group-conscience meetings normally revolve around how to get enough money to pay the rent. These groups last for a period of time and then vanish from the scene.
The third type of A.A. meeting is the “Absolutely Awful” meeting. These are normally discussion meetings about problems, my day and/or my way. Non-alcoholics not only sit in the meetings, but are permitted to participate. Very often these groups are bedeviled with folks who think the Big Book is antiquated needs to be replace with one that would agree with their ideas. But you will hear little if anything about our Program (the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous). These groups seldom survive more than a few months.
The Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous were the result of the failure of many groups. We claim to be intelligent people, but one must ask, “If we are so intelligent, why are we so stupid?” All of the problems with the Steps and Traditions were resolved before most of us arrived here. No one has been able to demonstrate a more reliable or effective method of avoiding death or permanent insanity from drinking than the through taking and living by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. And no one has demonstrated a more effective way for a bunch of egotist, intellectuals, gurus, and spiritually sick people to band together and work together effectively than those who stay within the boundaries of the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Bill W. wrote, “In the years ahead A.A. will, of course, make mistakes. Experience has taught us that we need have no fear of doing this, providing that we always remain willing to admit our faults and to correct them promptly. Our growth as individuals has depended upon this healthy process of trial and error. So will our growth as a fellowship.
Let us always remember that any society of men and women that cannot freely correct its own faults must surely fall into decay if not into collapse. Such is the universal penalty for the failure to go on growing. Just as each A.A. must continue to take his moral inventory and act upon it, so must our whole Society if we are to survive and if we are to serve usefully and well.” (A.A. Comes of Age, p. 231)
We now know what the problem is and we know what the solution is. Unfortunately, we have not remained willing to admit our faults and to correct them promptly. We have been and are plagued with large doses of apathy and complacency. The problem we are trying to live with is needlessly killing alcoholics. The solution promises recovery for those who are willing to follow the clear-cut directions in the Big Book.
Source unknown
An alcoholic was approached by the lifeguard at a public swimming pool. "You’re not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I’m going to have to report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," said the alky "Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"
archie
We get out of the Program what we put into it.
We give a hungry man a fish, we feed him for a day, if we teach him to fish and we fed him for life.
UNITY
When I think of the topic of unity, I first think of our symbol--the circle with a triangle inside. I am also prone to think of the times it seems that the unity of A.A. is stretched to its limits--business meetings, district meetings, and assembly meetings. But it seems that unity always prevails in the end and the focus comes back to what is best for A.A. as a whole.
We’ve all heard it said that the threat to A.A. doesn’t come from the outside--it comes from within. I was told, as a newcomer to A.A., that it was my responsibility as an A.A. member to learn the Traditions. These Traditions are to ensure our unity. Because we get so involved in the struggle for recovery, a common fault is that we tend to forget and overlook the other sides of the triangle.
We have been told and perhaps have learned from experience that resentment is the number one offender--the primary cause of relapse into drinking. So it too affects unity. Given enough anger, both A.A.’s unity and purpose are lost. Without unity a group cannot survive. Without groups none of us can continue to live. As individuals in the group we are told to keep it simple. But when it comes to groups, districts, and areas, we find we have to either organize or face the chaos--and chaos is not simplicity.
Each group in the world is a part of our circle of love and every member depends on unity for his survival. This unity ensures that A.A. will be here for millions of alcoholics still to come. We have proven that we can’t survive on our own resources, but together, with God as our guide, we can.
Source unknown
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UNITY
"That, touching all matters affecting A.A. unity, our common welfare should come first; that A.A. has no human authority--only God as he may speak in our group conscience; that our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern; that any alcoholic may become an A.A. member if he says so--we exclude no one; that every A.A. group may manage its own affairs as it likes, provided surrounding groups are not harmed thereby; that we A.A.’s have but a single aim, the carrying of our message to the alcoholic who still suffers; that in consequence we cannot finance, endorse, or otherwise lend the name `Alcoholics Anonymous’ to any other enterprise, however worthy; that A.A., as such, ought to remain poor, lest problems of property, management, and money divert us from our sole aim; that we ought to be self-supporting, gladly paying our small expenses ourselves; that A.A. should remain forever nonprofessional, ordinary Twelve Step work never to be paid for; that, as a Fellowship, we should never be organized but may nevertheless create responsible service boards or committees to insure us better propagation and sponsorship and that these agencies may engage full-time workers for special tasks; that our public relations ought to proceed upon the principle of attraction rather promotion, it being better to let our friends recommend us; that personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and pictures ought to be strictly maintained as our best protection against the temptations of power or personal ambition; and finally, that anonymity before the general public is the spiritual key to all our Traditions, ever reminding us we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of him who presides over us all."
The Language of the Heart, page 121
An alcoholic who had abused his family, imposed on his few friends, and generally been a public nuisance, finally died. At the funeral service, the preacher asked at 1 point, "Does anyone wish to say some kind words about the departed?” There was a deadly silence, so the minister repeated the question. Finally, a man stood up and said grudgingly, "His brother was worse."
archie
Pray.
Spiritual awakenings are profoundly individual experiences.
PROFANITY AT MEETINGS
When I 1st came through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous, I thought profanity was necessary to make a point.
One day an old-timer came up to me and said something about being thrown out of bars and social gatherings for foul language back in his drinking days. And he told me I didn’t need to swear anymore. I didn’t need to hide behind my dirty mouth anymore. It was time to express my feelings. Time to talk. Time to learn. We came to A.A. to get well, to recover from alcoholism and take our right place in society.
The longer I’m around, the more I see what a crutch swearing can be. It’s been necessary for me to learn to express myself without hiding behind profanity. I’ve had to learn how to feel and to say what I feel, to stay sober, in learning how to communicate! I’m learning about respect, and love, and the God of my understanding. I’m learning about the 12 Traditions, and about our common welfare. A dirty mouth is not about our common welfare. A program of attraction? Where does profanity fit there?
Once I understood about profanity, I found myself to be responsible for my language. I’m responsible to take the newcomer aside, let him or her know it’s ok to feel, it’s ok to vent one on one and let them know about our common welfare (Tradition 1).
I was at a meeting recently and someone was on a vulgar tirade--several people walked out, and others have chosen to go to different meetings. What did we tell the newcomer? What are we telling non-A.A.’s who attend open meetings with spouses, or children? Program of attraction?
This we owe to A.A.’s future--To place our common welfare 1st--To keep our Fellowship united--For on A.A. unity depend our lives--And the lives of those to come.
Author unknown
An Al-Anon comes home and tells her drinking husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.' 'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?' His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache', 'I do not have a headache,' 'I do not have a headache.' Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone. Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband. His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years since you have been hitting the bottle more often, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?' Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, 'Wow, that was wonderful!' The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.' He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round 2 was even better than the 1st time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning, ‘Oh my God' she proclaims. Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying. 'She's not my wife.' 'She's not my wife.' 'She's not my wife.' His funeral service will be held on Friday.