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If I Were Not Upon the Sea - Lyric Request

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Peter and Sandi Walters

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Sep 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/10/98
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Now that I've read and deleted all the fine postings regarding "If I
Were Not Upon the Sea", my wife would like a print-out of the lyrics for
our latest cruise photo album.

Could someone please e-mail them to me, or repost them, or direct me to
an appropriate web-site?

Many thanks for your patience and help...

Ermalee

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Sep 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/10/98
to Peter_...@bc.sympatico.ca
Here are the words that Gayle provided several weeks ago:

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a sargent major me
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
LEFT-RIGHT, LEFT-RIGHT swing those bloody arms!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a blackjack dealer me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Hit me here, hit me there, twenty-one or bust!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a tennis player me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Balls to you Sir, Balls to you, ma'am, may I serve you now?"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a lady doctor me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Strip to waist, take their pulse, show me where it hurts!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a fluttering flag me. (I said FLAG, lady!)
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Blow me east, blow me west, I like lots of wind!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a lighthouse keeper me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"A quick flash here, a quick flash there, see me turn around!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, an undertaker, me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Close their eyes, lay them out, shove them in a box!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a seamstress I would be.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"Half a yard, half a yard, snip it by the inch!"

If I were not upon the sea, something else I'd rather be.
If I were not upon the sea, a ballerina me.
Happy all day long, and this would be my song,
"First position, second position, show my arabesque!"

There are many other verses, including Chippendale's dancer, cha-cha
dancer (usually a guy in drag), a taxi driver

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pws

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Sep 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/10/98
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No problem. I saved it last time it was posted.

Paul

Here we go-------

Subject: If I Were Not Upon the Sea
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1998 10:01:19 -0500
From: Gayle A Kortright <g...@csd.uwm.edu>
Organization: University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Newsgroups: rec.travel.cruises

I remember someone (I think it was Ermalee) looking for the words to this.
Luckily, I found the disk I had saved it to. Here ya all are!

Gayle

Crank

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Sep 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/11/98
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I had no idea that thing would get so much airtime!

Anybody remember the song "Let a smile be your umbrella"?

Wacka-doo Wacka-doo! He flashed our camcorder when he did this.

--

Crank

"I finally got it together, then forgot where I put it."

(ib4cruzn at nwinfo dot net)

Ermalee

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Sep 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/11/98
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Yes.

Ray R

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Jul 25, 2023, 4:05:53 PM7/25/23
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On Carnival Cruises they added...

"If I were not upon the sea there's something else I'd rather be if I were not upon the sea a gardener I'd be you'd hear me all day long and this would be my song mow the lawn pull the weeds trim the Hedge snip snip"

https://youtube.com/shorts/KuJC5iTpuEU
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