Airline acronyms (word play) ?

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Kroll Info

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Mar 27, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/27/96
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Howdy all!

I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:

For example:

- PIA (Pakastani International Airways) could translate as (Please Inform
Allah) or (Panic In the Air).

Any others?

Many Thanks!
Jude

Dan Morisseau

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Mar 28, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/28/96
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In article krol...@aol.com (Kroll Info) writes:

>I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
>a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:

<snip>

>Any others?


SAHSA (Honduran international air carrier) = "Stay At Home, Stay Alive",
supposedly a reference to poora safety record (which I cannot vouch for). I do
have to say that this kind of thing can arouse some REAL volitile emotions ...
the religious reference made to Pakistan International really is quite close
to, if not over, the limit. You may want to rethink the idea, especially where
the "new" acronym might be regarded as offensive or embarassing - my own
indiscretion (above) notwithstanding.
Dan Morisseau
N7ZXL
47 17' 16"N / 122 11' 40"W
Elevation: 300'

Kim Hackett

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Mar 29, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/29/96
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In article <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, krol...@aol.com (Kroll
Info) says:
>
>Howdy all!

>
>I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
>a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:
>
>For example:
>
>- PIA (Pakastani International Airways) could translate as (Please Inform
>Allah) or (Panic In the Air).
>
>Any others?
>
>Many Thanks!
>Jude
I found a couple hundred of them at the following:
http://www/cuug.ab.ca:8001~busew/airlines.html

Kim Hackett

Kim Hackett

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Mar 30, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/30/96
to
In article <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, krol...@aol.com (Kroll Info) says:
>
>Howdy all!
>
>I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
>a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:
>
>For example:
>
>- PIA (Pakastani International Airways) could translate as (Please Inform
>Allah) or (Panic In the Air).
>
>Any others?
>
>Many Thanks!
>Jude

Aeromexico
•Aerowrecksico

AirCal
•AirCrawl •Airkill •Scare Cal

Air Canada
•Air Can't...uh...duh...

Air France
•Air chance

Air Illinois
•Air what's that noise? •Scare Illinois

AI (Air India or Air Inter)
•Allah Informed

Air Jamaica
•Air Jerks kill ya

Air New England
•Scare No Engines

Air New York
•Air New jerk

Air Pacific
•Air Pacifwreck

Air Wisconsin
•'ere We're crashin'

Alia
•Always Late In Arrival

Alitalia
•Always Late ITALIAns

Allegheny Airlines
•Agony Airlines •Allemaybe •Alligator

Allegheny Commuter
•Agonizing Commuter

Braniff Airlines
•Brainless Airlines •Brand-F •Rainbow or Chiclet Airlines •Braniff's green 747 = Super Pickle
•Braniff's orange 747 = The Great Pumpkin

BOAC
•Bail Out And Crash •Better On A Camel •British Overseas Air Catastrophes

BWIA
•Bound to Wait In the Airport •But Will It Arrive •Britian's Worst Investment Abroad

Continental Air Lines
•The Proud Bird with the Brass Ass

Delta Air Lines
•Deliver Everyones Luggage To Atlanta... •Don't Ever Leave The Airport •Deltoid (The Chicken
Flight) Air Lines •Do Every Little Thing Awkwardly •Melt ya

Eastern Air Lines
•Eastburn Air Lines •Every Airplane Seems To Explode & wReck Normally •The Wings of Death

El Al
•EverLasting Always Late •Every Landing Always Late

Hughes Airwest
•Flying banana (yellow DC-9s) •Hughes Airworst

Iberia
•I'll bury ya

KLM Royal Dutch
•KLM Royal Ditch

Kuwait Airways
•You wait Airways

Lufthansa
•Luftwaffe

Midwest Express
•Midwest Distress

Northwest Orient
•Northwest Disorient •Northworst

Ozark Air Lines
•"krazO" spelled backwards •Noah's ark •Oh jerk •Slowzark

PAL (Pacific or Philippine Air Lines)
•Plane Always Late

PSA
•People Scattered About •People Scattered All over •Perennially Slow Airlines •Piece of Shit
Airlines •(pronounced "pissah") •Please Send Ambulances •Please Stay Airborne •the cattle car

PIA
•Please Inform Allah

Pan Am
•PAinful, Nauseating And Miserable •Pan slam •Passengers Always Neglected At Mealtimes •Probably
Another Night At the Moon •We have killed more people on more continents than any other airline!

People Express
•Cattle Express •Feeble Express •People Compress •People Depress •People Distress •PEOPLES'
EXPRESS (pronounce in a revolutionary tone) •Red Army Express •Aeroflot •the bus

Piedmont Airlines
•Peed m' pants Airlines •Piedmonster

Republic Air Lines
•Repugnant Air Lines

Southwest Airlines
•Southwaste Airlines •Southworst Airlines

TWA
•Take Weapons Aboard •Teeny Weenie Airlines •Terrorists Welcome Aboard •Terrorists Will Attack
•The Worst Airline •Thieves, Whores, & Alcoholics •Thousands Wandering Aimlessly •Travel With
Amal •Try Waiting Awhile •Try Walking Across •TWAt

United Airlines
•United Airlanes •U Never Intended To Eat Didya •Untied

US Air
•Unfortunately, Still Allegheny In Reality •U're (You're) Still Allegheny In Reality •USeless Air
•US err •US scare

ValuJet
•Cheap Ass Airways •JunkJet •Crispy Critter

VARIG
•Vomit At Regular Intervals Gracefully


Hotel SPLENDID Nice FRANCE

unread,
Mar 30, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/30/96
to dp...@dpm3.seanet.com
sabena: such a bloody experience never again
lufthansa: let us fuck the hostess as no steward available
air france take a chance

boac (old old airline now replaced by british airways): better on a
camel...

keep it going
michel

Peter Hollingsworth

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Mar 30, 1996, 3:00:00 AM3/30/96
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In article <4ji16g$j...@opal.southwind.net>, hac...@southwind.net (Kim
Hackett) wrote:

> In article <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, krol...@aol.com (Kroll
Info) says:
> >
> >Howdy all!
> >
> >I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
> >a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:
> >
> >For example:
> >

how about SABENA, the Belgin national airline.
Such A Bad Experience, Never Again

--
Peter Hollingsworth
The Grand Scale Earthly Destructor
E-Mail:gt1...@prism.gatech.edu
WWW: http://apts19.residence.gatech.edu

Dougie D

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Apr 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/3/96
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In article: <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> krol...@aol.com (Kroll
Info) writes:
>
> Howdy all!
>
> I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
> a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:

I see a few others have been posted, but I didn't see this one:

QANTAS - Queers And Nancies Trained As Stewards.


--
Dougie D

**************************************************
Only after the last tree has been cut down
Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only after the last fish has been caught
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten
Cree Prophecy
**************************************************


will Chabun

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Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
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In rec.travel.air Dougie D <Dou...@thegig.demon.co.uk> said:


>In article: <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> krol...@aol.com (Kroll
Info)
>writes:
>>
>> Howdy all!
>>
>> I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
>> a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:
>
>I see a few others have been posted, but I didn't see this one:
>
>QANTAS - Queers And Nancies Trained As Stewards.

Here are my contributions:
BOAC: Bail Out After Crew
QANTAS: Queer and Nasty; Try Another Service
PWA (Pacific Western Airlines; now part of Canadian Airlines
International): Please Wait Awhile or Pray While Airborne

--
Will Chabun

ferrandi

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Apr 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/5/96
to

A few more :
SABENA (belgium) = Such A Bloody Experience ... Never Again !
Air France = Air Chance
TAT (france) = Try A Trash

Scott D. Morris

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Apr 7, 1996, 4:00:00 AM4/7/96
to
In article <316599...@easynet.fr>, ferr...@easynet.fr says...

>
>will Chabun wrote:
>>
>> In rec.travel.air Dougie D <Dou...@thegig.demon.co.uk> said:
>> >In article: <4jc5sp$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> krol...@aol.com (Kroll
>> Info)
>> >writes:
>> >>
>> >> Howdy all!
>> >>
>> >> I have to give a speech on airline safety and would like to include
>> >> a couple of jokes concerning notorious carriers using their acronyms:
>> >
>> >I see a few others have been posted, but I didn't see this one:
>> >
>> >QANTAS - Queers And Nancies Trained As Stewards.
>>
>> Here are my contributions:
>> BOAC: Bail Out After Crew

Just an fyi to all. "BOAC" has been known for years as "British Airways". They
changed the name back in the early 1970's...


>> PWA (Pacific Western Airlines; now part of Canadian Airlines
>> International): Please Wait Awhile or Pray While Airborne

PWA in fact "renamed" itself "Canadian Airlines International" when it
aquired the former "CPAir (Canadian Pacific Airlines). I think the corporate
name may be still PBA d/b/a. : Canadian Airlines International.

>Air France = Air Chance

Or the how about the slogan, "Take a chance, fly Air France"..

--
|>Scott D. Morris |sdmo...@mindspring.com |AOL:SDM24601 <|
|> |sdmo...@world.std.com |CIS:74667,3453<|
|>Atlanta, Georgia, USA |Majornet:ScoMo@ROK |MSN:SDMorris <|


Niraj Agarwalla

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
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I have one. PIA: Please Inform Allah.
--
Niraj Agarwalla -=- naga...@cs.uml.edu -=- http://www.eskimo.com/~niraj


Hotel SPLENDID Nice FRANCE

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
to sdmo...@mindspring.com
lufthansa: let us fuck the hostess as no steward available

have a nice flight

michel

Charles McCool

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
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I am not sure if these already went thru:

DELTA - Don't ever leave the airport
TWA - Try Water-landing Again

Non-acronyms

Aeroflop
US Scare
United we fly, United we fall

danny tzur

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
to
EL-AL: every landing always late (not true these days, but was true years
ago.


Bob Carasik

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
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DELTA: Don't Entrust Luggage to A@#$%^&.
TWA: Travelers Wait, Always.
SABENA: Sometimes All Best Europeans Never Arrive.
LTU: Leaves Travelers Unboarded
AMTRAK: ~Airliner Moves To Rails, Almost Killed

Lloyd Colston

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Apr 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/8/96
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naga...@jupiter.cs.uml.edu (Niraj Agarwalla) wrote:

My contributions are

DELTA Don't Even Leave The Airport
TWA The Worst Airline

Don't know if these have been mentioned yet. But they are ones that
spring to mind.


*********************************************************
K
C Lloyd Colston kc...@amsat.org
5 Pryor, OK USA col...@viagrafix.com
F Jesus is Lord Living to serve
M http://www.angelfire.com/free/KC5FM.html
*********************************************************

DB

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Apr 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/9/96
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In article <4kb070$m...@s3.iway.fr>, Hotel SPLENDID Nice FRANCE
<sple...@dialup.nicematin.fr> writes:

>lufthansa: let us fuck the hostess as no steward available

Am I the only one to find this offensive - to women in particular
but, ultimately, to us all?

Darius

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