[G1][CARTOON] The Rebirth Quote File (long!)

[Kil aka Michael McCarthy]

After a rewatching of Rebirth a couple of weeks ago, I left the tape of the
episodes, recorded during their last airing on the Sci-Fi Channel, in the VCR.
Later, thinking I had a different tape in there, I accidentally taped over
Parts 1 and 2. So the other day I went out and plunked down ten bucks for the
Rhino "Heroes" video.

And as I was watching it I had the idea, inspired by slash ripped-off from the
Giant List of Transformers Quotes on Rob Powers webpage at
http://members.tripod.com/~repowers/ (which gives credit to Rob Jung for
suggesting the format), to put together a list of all the memorable lines, from
those which recount the key plot points to the comic relief to the just plain
goofed up.

So, may I now present...

***************************************
THE REBIRTH QUOTE FILE
"Rodger dodger, Optimus Prime!"
"Rodger dodger, Optimus Prime!"
-Fastlane and Cloudraker
***************************************
***
THE ALPHA....
"It's starting." -Optimus Prime
***
Lightspeed: "Man, what a gorgeous day. And no Decepticons to ruin it."
Goldbug: "Yep. Not a peep out of the creeps in months."
Strafe: *laugh* "They're searching for all the loose parts we knocked out of
them we got Optimus Prime back."

***
EXPOSITION, EXPLICATION, AND PROPHECY
"All this is happening for a reason." -Optimus Prime
***
Optimus: "Ever since I released the energy of the Matrix, I've had these
overwhelming feelings that something's going to happen. Something big."
Magnus: "A Decepticon attack?"
Optimus: "Bigger than that. Something... unbelievable."

Brainstorm: "You see? Hot Rod won because he had help from Daniel."
Hardhead: "So? What's that prove?"
Brainstorm: "It proves, Hardhead, that my basic theory is sound."
Crosshairs: "What's all the hubbub?"
Highbrow: "Oh, Brainstorm's trying to prove that we could function better with
human operators inside us."
Brainstorm: "Human _partners_, Highbrow."

Optimus: "Kup, Galvatron's stolen the Key to the Plasma Energy Chamber."
Kup (over communicator): "The whaa...?"
Optimus: "It's a storage chamber. Twelve levels below generator C."
Magnus: "May I ask why everyone's going to such trouble over this thing?"
Optimus: "The Plasma Energy Chamber is the foundry in which the original
Autobots' bodies were forged, millions of years ago. Since then, every Autobot
leader has been charged with defending the Key - with his life."

"For here on Nebulos, it is the people who serve the machines. And the machines
serve the Hive - ten rulers, and their supreme leader, Zarak. Living far under
the ground. They developed their mental powers to the point where they can
control machines with their very thoughts. But their bodies have weakened, and
become totally useless. The machines are the Hive's eyes, and ears. And fists.
We Nebulans discovered what the Hive was, and we've been fighting them ever
since." -Gort

Pinpointer: "If we had your strength, your size, your... your power."
Highbrow: "In other words - our bodies."
Spike: "You know Brainstorm, that idea of yours is starting to make more sense
by the minute."
Brainstorm: "You mean putting humans, uh.. Nebulans, inside the Autobots'
bodies?"

Zarak: "So that's where Gort and his rebels have been hiding. The heads of
those metal beings become robotic exo-suits."
Nightstick: "They're muscling unto our turf! I say we rub 'em out!"
Zarak: "Ahhh, but this development could be most useful to us."

Magnus: "Prime, where are you going to get these answers you want?"
Optimus: "From the one who created me. From Alpha Trion."
Magnus: "But he's in... Vector Sigma, the computer which gave us all life!"
Optimus: "Yes. And with the shell of the Matrix, I may be able to re-activate
Vector Sigma, and merge with it."

"I am Zarak. I have a little deal to offer you. One which will enable you to
defeat your adversaries. And all it will cost you is... your heads!"
-Zarak, addressing the Decepticons

Cyclonus: "Just one thing - you can only have the heads of the animals."
Apeface: "Huh! Says you!"
(Cyclonus shoots him)
Cyclonus: "You will do as I say or you will die!"
Zarak: "And what will you five offer us?"
Cyclonus: "Our weapons. You can modify them as you would the heads."

Alpha Trion: "Nebulos. That which seek is there."
Optimus: "Nebulos? But how did Brainstorm and the others..."
Alpha Trion: "Plasma energy. The chamber was opened momentarily, and a bolt of
plasma energy struck their ship, sending them millions of miles into space."

Alpha Trion: "But hear me Prime, a second Golden Age of Cybertron is almost at
hand. But whether this comes to pass depends on the merging of an Autobot's
life with that of a human being."
Optimus: "How do you know this Alpha Trion?"
Alpha Trion: "Vector Sigma, itself. It was Vector Sigma which arraigned for
Galvatron to learn of the Key's existance."

"Do not question Vector Sigma's motives! The parameters of it's thought matrix
are greater than you can imagine"
-Alpha Trion

"Did you get your questions answered?"
"Yes. And every answer lead to a bigger question."
-Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime

"Proceed to bond with them. I remain here to work on a new plan, one which
involves our entire city."
-Zarak

"This is how they did it. This is how the Hive modified the Decepti-creeps'
guns."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
-Brainstorm and Spike

"Autobots, prepare to feel the sting of... Scorponok!" -Zarak

Onslaught: "Galvatron, my Combaticons have completed the construction you
requested on the far side of the planet."
Galvatron: "Perfect timing! Combaticons - transport these de-activated Autobots
to the construction site. We have a use for their miserable bodies."
Swindle: "Oh yeah? For what?"
Galvatron: "As fuel. For the biggest rocket engine ever constructed."

Spike: "I can use the machines to rebuild this city."
Cerebros: "Into what?"
Spike: "You're gonna find out. 'Cause you're gonna be a part of it."

"The Key to the Plasma Energy Chamber. No harm must befall it. It is the key to
a _miracle_."
-Vision of Alpha Trion

"Decepticons, prepare to face... Fortress Maximus!"
-Fortress Maximus (presumably is actually Spike talking)

Spike: "The energy is overloading the sun! It's going to go nova! ... Prime!"
Optimus: "Spike... shut down... Plasma Energy Chamber..."
Spike: "That won't stop the sun from exploding."
Optimus: "Autobots... all gone... up to you... Vector Sigma promised.. a
miracle..."

"We reversed that rocket engine's entire mechanism. Instead of putting out
energy, it's going to draw it it - straight to Vector Sigma."
-Spike

Magnus: "I don't believe it..."
Optimus: "Just as Vector Sigma promised."
Spike: "The excess solar energy restored Cybertron."

***
HUMOR AND SUCH
"That would help!" -Kup
***
Rollbar: "Decepticons?"
Searchlight (laughing): "Yeah, you know Rollbar - big ugly guys, made of metal,
want to melt us all down into scrap!"

Freeway: "Back off Snapdragon!"
Snapdragon: "No! Errraaaak!"
(Snapdragon kicks Freeway backwards into a wall, trashing him)
Freeway: "Well, since you put it that way..."

"Hoo-wee! This is what I really call a battle!"
"This is what I call gettin' _slaughtered_."
-Scattershot and Goldbug

Kup: "But it might give us the edge if the Decepticons ever did return."
Crosshairs: "That's _not_ gonna happen."
Optimus (over commlink): "Kup, Highbrow! The Decepticons are heading your way."
Kup: "How many of them, Prime?"
Optimus (over commlink): "All of them!"
Crosshairs: " 'Course, I _have_ been wrong, on one or two occassions..."

"Prepare for crash landing!"
"How? By thinkin' good thoughts?!"
-Kup and Pointblank

"Hardhead, this is it! I just know it,I know it,I know it,I know it! We're all
gonna die,we're gonna die,this is it,this is the end,we're finished,we're
(Hardhead puts his hands over Blurr's mouth) mmm mm mmmmm..."
-Blurr

"Now how are we ever gonna get back to Cybertron?"
"Come on, maybe there's a used ship dealer around here somewhere. Or at least a
pay phone..."
-Crosshairs and Hot Rod

Kup: "You know, this reminds me of the time my platoon was stranded on Regulan
IV. There we were, seven hundred of us, against three whole Regulan
metal-mongers."
Hot Rod: "Seven hundred of you? Against three of them? Ah, c'mon Kup."
Kup: "Lad, you ever seen a Regulan metal-monger?"
Hot Rod: "Uh.. no."
Kup: "Trust me, we were outnumbered."

"This is ridiculous. Don't they know who we are?"
"Maybe we should get a new PR man."
-Hot Rod and Kup

"We're all gonna get stomped into guacamole if you don't release the Autobots,
now!"
-Spike (get it? guacamole? Nebulans are green, ya see...)

"I suppose it's the only meritorious way out of a _meritrious_ situation."
"Yeah, me too. Like he said."
-Highbrow and Hardhead

Gort: "Open that hatch! Anything you put in there will totally scramble the
machine's circuits."
Highbrow: "Like what?"
Gort: "Like your fist!"
Highbrow: "Oh!"

Duros: "Now, one well aimed shot into that hole should finish it off."
Hardhead: "You've gotta be kidding."
Duros: "It's the only weak spot, _if_ it's connected to main brain circuit. Of
course if isn't, we'll hust have to keep ripping off tentacles until we get
it."
Hardhead: "Ah, the heck with it!" (proceeds to just smash the thing with his
fists)

"Da boys all call me Nightstick. I hope ya like bustin' heads! Ya-ha!"
"I like busting Autobot Head_masters_ better."
-Nightstick and Cyclonus

Blowpipe: "Call me Blowpipe, cause I wanna _blow_ those rebels away."
Triggerhappy: *laugh* "Those Autobots are gonna be molten metal!"
(starts randomly shooting until Scourge stops him)
Scourge: "Alright, knock it off! And what of my weapon?"
Fracas: "It's me, I'm Fracas! And if you think Blowpipe was bad, I'm worse!"
Scourge: "...and you're louder."

Caliburst: "And you can call me Caliburst, 'cause I never missed a shot in my
life!"
Slugslinger: "But you've never _taken_ a shot in your life!"
Caliburst: "See, would I lie to ya?"

"Now they've got Headmasters, too."
"Those creeps, swiping _my_ idea! I'll sue!"
-Spike and Brainstorm

Chromedome: "C'mon you dumb monsters!"
Crosshairs: "You don't scare me!"
(Apeface and Snapdragon transform to jet mode and attack)
Crosshairs: "Whoa.. now you scare me..."

"Autobot Headmasters, let's butt heads with 'em!"
-Chromedome (*groan* -Me)

"If I have to wait any longer, I'm gonna bust a gasket!"
"Why wait? I'll be happy to bust it for ya, Triggerhappy!"
-Triggerhappy and Brainstorm

"We gotta stop our guys from destroying the thing that could wipe out the
galaxy, and we gotta go straight into Decepti-ville to do it."
"Yeah, we never seem to get a break."
-Crosshairs and Hot Rod

"Well, now we've got a _real_ party going."
-Cyclonus, after capturing the Autobots inside Scorponok

***
PACIFISMS
*sigh* "Very well." -Cerebros
***
"We Autobots are always fighting. Must we drag you humans into it, too?"
"I think we already are in it, Cerebros."
-Spike and Cerebros

Brainstorm: "What about you, Cerebros?"
Cerebros: "No."
Spike: "What?"
Cerebros: "I must stand by what I believe in."
Spike: "But we're helping these people in their fight."
Cerebros: "My one wish... is to never fight again."

"I want you to take me to that city you found. We've gotta use it to hit back
at the Decepticons or we're all finished."
"No, no, _no_, I've had all the fighting I can stand. Leave me _alone_."
-Spike and Cerebros

"Ready, Cerebros?"
"Must you force me to do that which I hate?"
"After we save the Universe ol' buddy, I promise you, you'll never have to
fight again."
-Spike and Cerebros

"Cerebros.. we're all safe."
"I'm... very glad to hear that Spike. And now that you don't need me anymore,
_please_ deactivate me."
"What? Are you out of your.."
"I don't want to fight anymore. Please, Spike, shut me down! Forever!"
-Spike and Cerebros

"What happened?"
"The Golden Age of Cybertron has come again, thanks to you and Spike. You don't
have to fight anymore."
-Cerebros and Optimus Prime

"Thank you, Optimus Prime. It's a miracle."
-Cerebros

***
GO GALVY GO!
"W-wait.. mighty Galvatron..." -Slugslinger
***
"The time of the Decepticons' final victory is nigh!"

"Ahh! The Key is gone! You miserable pile of junk! I oughta have you stamped
down into _tinfoil_ for losing it!"

Galvatron: "Are you out of your minds? You call yourselves Decepticons?!
Allowing these filthy organic beings to cohabitate your bodies!!!"
Scourge: "We had no choice Galvatron."
Cyclonus: "Besides, with them we're ten times more powerful than before."
Galvatron: "You morons!!"

Cyclonus: "Is this what all this trouble's been about?"
(hands the Key to Galvatron)
Galvatron: "At last, the Key to the Plasma Energy Chamber."
Scourge: "You're not going to open that thing?"
Galvatron: "Of course I am - idiot!"

"We've got to get this oversized shopping center in the air."

Galvatron: "It's a miracle we've finally got this flying junkpile of yours
stabilized!"
Zarak: "You were the idiot who opened the Plasma Energy Chamber, Galvatron."
Galvatron: "Silence!!!"

***
AS EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE
( or: cain't nobody count for nuttin' )
"It's a long story....
with a couple of hitches in it." -Kup
***
Lightspeed: "Ya know, they must be spread out all over the Galaxy."
Goldbug: "Yeah, but will they stay there."
Scattershot: "They won't."
Lightspeed: "What makes you so sure of that, Scattershot?"
Scattershot: "They definitely won't. Because I make out about a hundred blips,
heading right toward us."
(I counted 38 blips myself)

"If we free them, we'll have twenty machines after us instead of just ten."
-Arcana
(number of Autobot prisoners: 12
number of approaching Decepticons: 10
12 + 10 = 22)

"New Headmasters! New Targetmasters! And colossal new super robots! All in part
two of Transformers: Rebirth."
-Narrator, previewing Part 2 (in which only _one_ 'super robot' appears)

"Six rebel sharpshooters..."
-Brainstorm (pictured: group of nine Nebulans)
"...six Autobots!"
-Spike (pictured: Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr)

***
INSULTS
"..._creamed_." -Apeface
***
"The problem is where they would inhabit us in robot form."
"Correction - the problem is you, and your stupid ideas."
-Brainstorm and Hardhead

"Well, I fear your logic is faulty. You assume a priori that we are malevolent
without first..."
"Ah, shut up."
-Highbrow and Firebolt

"I may have been a bit hasty in my judgment."
"Stupid is more like it."
-Gort and Spike

"Welcome to the scrapyard, Auto-bums!"
-Triggerhappy

Scourge: "What about you old timer? Want to tell me where the Key to the Plasma
Energy Chamber is?"
Kup: "Eh, go stick your head in a black hole, Scourge."
(Scourge activates the rack, Kup groans in pain)
Hot Rod: "Leave him alone you slimeball, if your want to torture someone,
torture me!"
(rack turned off)
Kup: "Cool your cylinders lad, I can take it."
Apeface: "_Yuck_. Noble Autobots make me wanna puke."

"Two Autobots are better than one, Cy-clown-us!"
-Daniel

"I am Spasma!"
"And I am Krunk! You two better not get out of line with us, or we'll get mad."
"Yeah, we'll get (hocks a sizzling loogie) mad!"

"I am to be bonded to that creature?! This project was a bad investment!"
-Hive Member (name not given - appears to bond with Weirdwolf, but is not
Monzo)

Vorath: "Me, a top Hive scientist, paired with a mangy night scavenger like
you."
Mindwipe: "The powers of darkness are a more powerful weapon than all the toys
your science can muster. Now, unite with me."
Vorath (hypnotized): "Uhh... yes, master..."

"The key to the Plasma Energy Chamber - give it to me!"
"Go hang upside down from a tree, Mindwipe!"
-Mindwipe and Brainstorm

***
EGO A-GO-GO
"Good grief!" -Landfill
***
"I'm gonna beatcha Hot Rod! I'm gonna beatcha,beatcha,beatcha! No way you're
ever gonna pass me! I'm gonna win this race before you even get into thrid
gear!"
-Blurr, who loses the race

"Five up, five down! It's like shootin' cyber-ducks in a barrel."
-Sixshot, after taking down the Aerialbots

"So, you let the Autobots beat you."
"I let _nobody_ beat me."
-Galvatron and Scourge

"You're history now, Auto-bozos! Slugslinger's here!"
-Slugslinger

"Hey Highbrow, what's happenin'?"
"I got stuck with you? I was hoping for someone who at least _approached_ my
own intellectual capacity."
-Gort and Highbrow

"I'm called Haywire, and I can nail a Decepti-creep at four thousand yards,
ha-ha, you bet!"
"Spoilsport's the name, and there's not a tagret I can't hit!"
"I'm Pinpointer, and I'm an even better shot than he is!"

***
VIVA NON SEQUITUR
"That makes no sense!" -Optimus Prime
***
"What's this senseless violence all about? That's what I wanna know."
-Searchlight
(gee, I dunno, maybe something to do with the war you guys have been fighting
for millions of years?)

Counterpunch: "Galvatron told me to check up on you two."
Pounce: "Beat it Counterpunch, we don't need your help!"
Counterpunch: "Fine! You deal with my Autobot counterpart. I've heard he's
nearby..."
(leaves the room, transforms into Punch)
Punch: "...real nearby."
(and goes right back in...)

"Boy are we glad to see you."
-Hot Rod, at first sight of the Nebulans (total strangers with guns pointed
at them)

"They've got h-h-humans with 'em, Firebolt."
-Haywire (how does he know what humans are?)

"I live only to destroy our mutual enemies! Blargh!"
"I think the name Aimless suits you better."
-Aimless and Misfire (suits him better than _what_?)

"It is raw energy. It seeks out any entity that transformers matter into
energy, and overloads them, totally. Only organic life is unaffected."
-Alpha Trion, who's apparently never heard of _food_

"They can fly and you guys can't."
-Spike, standing next to Highbrow (a helicopter) and Brainstorm (a jet)

Gort: "All machines are evil."
(later)
Arcana: "The boy will live. But there's been severe internal damage. He'll have
to rely on these life support machines."

"Eenihilate them!"
-Cyclonus, making up his own words

"Hi! I'm Recoil. Sure heard a lot about you, Optimus Prime."
-Recoil (really? when?)

"And we're _all_ Headmasters now, Prime."
-Brainstorm (no, you're not)

"What the devil?"
-Cyclonus, reacting to the Headmasters (he believes in the devil?)

Optimus:"We need you Spike. You're the only one of us who stands a chance if
Galvatron unleashes the plasma energy."
(later)
Optimus: "Spike, listen to me! The energy will kill us! You're the only one who
can close it!"
(What about the Nebulans? They're organic, too.... Although in fairness to
Prime, he only saw them with their exo-suits on, _and_ they transformed - maybe
he thinks they're robots!)

"Gorponok!"
-Crosshairs (well, that's what it sounded like he said to me)

"I'm going to blow these creepy creatures clear out of you!"
-Galavtron (said while all the Nebulans are already detatched from their
partners)

Scourge: "One jolt of that plasma energy nearly killed me, and blew the
Autobots halfway across the galaxy."
Galvatron: "I am perfectly aware of that. Which is why I'm going to wait to
open it, until we're close to the Earth"
(Me: "Why? So you can die with a nice view of the Grand Canyon?")

"Rip out their power packs! I need more fuel for the jet port."
-Galvatron (first you said it was a "rocket engine", now it's a "jet
port"?)

"When the last of the Hive's evil has been wiped out, you will live hear, in
peace. As this world's guardian."
-Optimus Prime, addressing Cerebros
(Would you really want a guy who goes suicidal at the thought of fighting as
your planet's guardian?)

***
..AND THE OMEGA
"So long, suckers!" -Cyclonus
***
"We will attack other planets. We will suck them dry! We will rebuild a planet
a hundred times more powerful than Cybertron! And I will RULE THE GALAXY!"
"_Who_ will rule the Galaxy?"
"ME!!! It is my destiny!!"
"We shall see, Galvatron.... we shall see..."
-Galvatron and Zarak

***
-Kil
-----
The Kil File - http://hometown.aol.com/michaelmcc79/index.html
Rebirth Quote Of The Week:
Kup: "Prepare for crash landing!"
Pointblank: "How? By thinkin' good thoughts?!"

[Kil aka Michael McCarthy]

>***
>EGO A-GO-GO
>"Good grief!" -Landfill
>***

Wide Load. That should've said Wide Load.

-Kil
-----
The Kil File - http://hometown.aol.com/michaelmcc79/index.html
Rebirth Quote Of The Week: