The Action Figure Code 1.1
Andrius Schmid
All--
Many of you know of the Geek Code, the Goth Code, the Transformers
Code, etc. Well, may I present (drum roll, please) the Action Figure
Code. This is a code for all your RTA-Fers out there. Let everyone
know about your obsession. Enjoy.
Please begin your code with AF1.1. This signifies: Action Figure Code
version 1.1.
Please add a star (*) in front of the AF if you maintain the FAQ,
Action Figure Code <grin>, etc., or if you post a regular weekly series
of articles/reviews. Please add an additional star for each additional
contribution.
Feel free to include any or all of the following categories in your
Action Figure Code. Also, please note that a backslash (/) can be used
to signify more than one answer. For example, if you are borderline
between considering Chet a god and wanting to give him your arms, your
answer would be CJ++/CJ+++. Also, if you buy figures to trade, but
also buy figures to sell at cost, you can mark down SC/SC++. This
applies to many categories, so do not feel limited to the above
examples.
(Please Note: After a category has reached three pluses (+++) or three
minuses (---) the next level is signified by a star (*) or squiggly
line (~) in order to conserve space in the code.
The Action Figure Code (Version 1.1)
Collecting Habits:
COL--- You have never actually SEEN any of the figures you buy.
Rather, you order them from companies and have them shipped
directly to storage facilities where you leave them until you
either feel like selling them or they burn in a beautiful
cleansing fire.
COL-- You buy figures in order to sell them in a year.
COL- You buy figures, but place them in boxes in your basement
in order to keep them safe and well-preserved for your kid who
will probably rip them all from their packages in a few years
anyway, thereby causing a massive stroke for you.
COL You buy figures, but keep them cruelly locked away in their
packaging and hanging on pegs until one day you grow bored with
them and stick them in a box in order to make room for new
stuff. Of course, the figures, filled with despair because
they feel unwanted, begin to commit plasticide (suicide for
toys) by leaking battery acid and smudging paint until they are
unrecognizable.
COL+ You buy new figures, which, despite the fact that they
cannot breath while locked away in their packages, at least
feel content because they are all constantly on display.
Eventually, your collection becomes so large that it crushes
your significant other (intentionally, because the figures know
that she/he has demanded that you dispose of them entirely) and
smothers your pet Yorkie (your Chihuahua, being so incredibly
small, manages to escape through the holes in the tops of the
cardboard packages).
COL++ You open those figures that are deemed worthy, leaving
the others, jealous of the freedom their former comrades have
received, to scheme and plan a revolution to destroy your
"favorites."
COL+++ You buy two of every figure: one to open, one to leave
packaged. You also own several small countries.
COL* You open every single figure that has graced your home,
but due to the lack of space, you are forced to confine some
figures to clear plastic Tupperware containers (or worse yet,
imitation Tupperware. <GASP!>). Unfortunately, these figures,
angry that they must suffer in poor living conditions and
longing for the comfort of their former plastic and cardboard
wombs, rise nightly to cause you great mental anguish by
rearranging your sock drawer.
COL** You display every single figure you own, loose on
shelves. Every time you run low on space, you create a new
shelf, until you get to the point where you have so little room
that you are forced to navigate your quarters, suspended from
the ceiling by suction cups. However, after seeing many brave
stormtroopers yellow and fall over, your Toy Biz figures pilfer
the massive supply of firing artillery (e.g. bolas, nets, and
missiles) from your unfortunate Kenner figures, who, unable to
compete with the superior articulation and built-in action
features of the Toy Biz group, succumb easily. Then, the
renegade figures go forth and shoot missiles at your cat until
it, so sick with fright, vomits hairballs of various sizes all
over ever rug in your house.
Scalping:
SC~ You do not have another "job." Scalping is your main
source of income as well as your life.
SC--- You hoard all toys that appear to have a chance of
increasing in value.
SC-- Every single toy you have ever bought has been sold within
two weeks. You are a loyal subscriber to AFNTR. You regularly
go into stores asking for the newest "female" figure, even
though you don’t know her name.
SC- You occasionally buy/sell a rare figure or twelve in order
to "break even."
SC You buy every single rare figure you see for "trading"
purposes. In actuality, you are so incredibly insecure, that
you cannot bear the thought that someone else may get a rare
figure.
SC+ You occasionally buy figures to trade upon request from
others.
SC++ You have never bought more figures than you personally
need.
SC+++ You occasionally buy figures to sell to others at cost.
SC* You regularly give figures away for free.
SC** You have taken on the name "Kris Kringle," and go around
giving free Leias to all the poor, deprived collectors.
Place a squiggly line (~) in front of the SC if you are a card carrying
member of the toy police, or if you have ever flamed a scalper without
proposing a decent alternative to paying the high prices.
Place a several swear-indicating letters (e.g. #@!*^$%@) in front of
the SC if you are a scalper and are upset that I made your profession
sound so sinful. You have absolutely no problem with kids getting rare
toys... provided they have deep pockets.
Repaints:
RPT-- You hate all repaints.
RPT- You hate only repaints that remain the same character
(hello, McFarlane Toys!)
RPT You buy repaints only if they actually look decent.
RPT+ You buy most repaints, especially those with minor sculpt
modifications.
RPT++ You bought a Polaris.
RPT+++ You bought a Clown II repaint.
RPT* You bought every single repaint that McFarlane Toys and
Toy Biz combined have put out.
Stores:
For this category, begin with one of the following store abbreviations:
TRU (Toys "R" Us)
KB (Kaybee)
WAL (Wal-Mart)
KMRT (K-Mart)
TAR (Target)
VEN (Venture)
PUZ (Puzzle Zoo)
HLL (Hills)
TWRK (Toy Works)
MEIJ (Meijer)
FAO (FAO Schwarz)
SERV (Service Merchandise)
TLIQ (Toy Liquidators)
CIRC (Circus World)
BIG (Big Lots)
(Note: If you want to use a store for which an abbreviation is not
listed, just mention the complete name of the store instead of an
abbreviation. Please LMK if I am missing any major stores, so that I
can add abbreviations in future versions of this code.)
Now follow the store abbreviation with one of the following:
(Blank) You occasionally shop in this store.
* You frequently shop in this store.
** You know one or two employees in this store by name, and
they recognize you.
*** You shop in this store every single morning, right when it
opens.
@ You know every single employee in this store and they all
recognize you.
@@ You have a best friend/relative who works in this store.
# YOU work in this store.
Repeat this process for as many stores as you wish (Don’t go
overboard).
Money spent on toys:
Begin with a dollar sign and follow it with the average amount you
spend on toys a week.
For example: $70
If you regularly spend $70 or less, then write:
$70-
If you regularly spend $70 or more, then write:
$70+
This applies to all amounts, not just $70.
Number of toys in your collection:
LS= and the number of loose toys you own.
PK= and the number of packaged toys you own.
(Note: Do NOT include toys you are selling or holding for trading
purposes. Vehicles count as single toys. Two-packs of large figures
count as two toys. Small figures that came with others (Isz;
Wildchild; Dominick; ID4 Alien Host) count as 0.5 figures. If you own
three of the same figure (e.g. stormtroopers), count each as an
individual figure.)
I understand that some collectors (myself included) are not sure of the
number of toys they own. If this is the case, or if you buy new toys
daily, give a general idea of how many toys you own (e.g. 200-300).
Current Favorite Toy:
Mention your current favorite toy. If you cannot decide, list two. If
one toy will always be your favorite, precede it with a star (*). For
example Intergalactic Buzz Lightyear/*Mego Spidey.
Customization:
CST-- You have absolutely no imagination and usually cut off
valuable appendages every time you pick up a sculpting knife.
CST- You have great ideas, but no talent.
CST You have never attempted customization because that would
require you to actually remove a toy from its package <gasp!>.
CST+ You have managed minor modifications to preexisting
characters or accessories.
CST++ You have done significantly different repaints.
CST+++ You have completely redone one figure into another, and
it actually looks better than any of the Ultraforce figures.
CST* You make plastic from scratch, and are currently
airbrushing while you read this.
Significant Others:
If you currently have a SO, then use this first section in your code:
SO-- You have to sneak around in order to buy toys because your
SO has strictly forbidden you to purchase them.
SO- Your SO is not quite enamored with your hobby and has
therefore limited your spending on toys so that you can spend
more on her/him.
SO Your SO is fairly indifferent to your obsession (err...
hobby) and puts up with your diminishing living space, provided
that you at least have SOME left.
SO+ Your SO does not mind your hobby and occasionally buys you
a toy-related gift.
SO++ Your SO is actually quite fond of the hobby and often
partakes as well.
SO+++ Your SO is almost as big a collector as you are and
frequently races you down the aisles of TRU in order to get to
the rare figures first.
SO* You and your SO are equally big collectors and rarely give
any non-toy-related items on holidays.
SO** Your SO is a bigger toy-enthusiast than you are and
frequently gets her/his way in any argument by allowing you to
gaze upon her/his collection.
Please precede the SO with a star (*) if either you or your SO has
gotten the other involved in action figure collecting or if the two of
you met at a toy-related event.
If you currently do not have a SO, then use this second section in your
code:
XSO+ You are currently without an SO for non-toy-related
reasons.
XSO Your last SO left for partially toy-related reasons.
XSO- Your last SO left because she/he was tired of being the
second most important woman/man in your life... right behind
that illusive Leia/Ben.
XSO-- Your last date laughed at you when you told her/him about
your hobby.
XSO--- Your last date called the police when you told her/him
about your hobby.
Number of months on RTM/RTA-F:
#MO= and the number of months you have been posting on rtm or rta-f.
For example: #MO=3
(Note: There are TWELVE months in a year. Really.)
Chet Jacques:
CJ-- You hate Chet because he helps make the world a better
place for collectors, thereby depleting your income as a
scalper.
CJ- You think that Chet’s a jerk (?) and blame him because
McFarlane Toys is not perfect.
CJ You have not the slightest clue as to who Chet is.
CJ+ You appreciate Chet’s effort in attempting to help
collectors everwhere.
CJ++ You think Chet is a god who deserves to run McFarlane
Toys.
CJ+++ You would give both your arms (be they articulated or
not) to Chet.
CJ* You ARE Chet Jacques (no changing your name, everyone
else).
Reading habits:
RD-- This is the only post you have ever read on RTA-F (Lord
only knows why you would have an individual Action Figure
Code).
RD- You read these posts only when your other time-killing
options are limited to shaving your cat and feeding the heads
of Dragonheart figures to your gerbils.
RD You read a few posts from time to time.
RD+ You read most posts every day, even if you have a real life
to attend to.
RD++ You read every single post, including auctions and "test"
posts, even if your cat is currently in flames.
Posting habits:
PST-- You never post on RTA-F, thereby making it impossible for
anyone to read your individual Action Figure Code.
PST- You have only posted a random, unrelated advertisement on
RTA-F (No, we do not want to hear how you made $16.23 over the
Internet.).
PST You post from time to time.
PST+ You post every day.
PST++ You post responses to every single article, including
auctions and test posts, even though neither you nor your cat
has eaten in three days.
Please add a squiggly-line thing (~) in front of the PST if you have
ever posted a "test" post on RTA-F, despite the fact that you have
been warned repeatedly not to do so.
Web Browser:
WEB-- You do not have a web browser.
WEB- You have a web browser, but you do not visit any of the
action figure related sites.
WEB You occasionally check out a few action figure related
sites.
WEB+ You regularly check out a few action figure related sites.
WEB++ You regularly check out ALL the action figure related
sites. (If this is the case, I assume you pay a flat monthly
rate for Internet access. Otherwise...)
Place a star (*) in front of the WEB if you also maintain an action
figure related web site that does more than advertise toys you have for
sale.
Based on the above, here is MY Action Figure Code:
*AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 Beast
Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ WEB+
You can now place your individual code in your .sig file. I would
appreciate it if you would mail me a copy of your code, so I can
compare everyone’s individual codes.
I have several other categories in mind, and I am already working on
adding some. If you have any suggestions for categories, or actual
completed categories, LMK.
I recommend you print this decoder out, so you can understand
everyone’s individual codes. If, by some chance, you ignore me now and
realize later that you should have heeded my advice, e-mail me at
Fl...@worldnet.att.net. I will be happy to provide you with a new copy
of the code for the small fee of your name, preceded by three self-
depreciating adjectives.
LMK if you want to have additional, updated versions of this code sent
directly to you.
Warning: This code should not have been read by the humor-impaired (you
know who you are), nor should it be taken internally. Keep it out of
the reach of children and Dan Quayle.
The preceding, the Action Figure Code, version 1.1 is copyright of
Andrius Schmid. Okay, I didn’t really copyright it, but if you rip it
off, I will hunt you down and stick your mouse in a very painful place
(which I have not yet determined). This is a parody of the Geek Code,
and all its parodies. If you wish to post all or part of this code in
a public forum, please let me know first, so I can contact my spies to
see if you are deemed worthy.
If you have a suggested category, please fell free to send a suggestion
to me. I have the right to edit all completed suggestions that are
sent in. However, credit will be given where credit is due.
Where to find this code in the future: I will regularly post the most
current version of this code three times on or around the first of each
month. The Action Figure Code will also be posted upon request.
Updates will be posted whenever I see fit, usually in the case of an
alteration (not including spelling or punctuation changes) or addition.
Therefore, you do not necessarily need to read this again until version
1.2 or higher. I do not maintain a web page, but EGM has indicated his
interests in placing this code at a site. Everyone else can link to
his site, but I will probably not allow them to create their own page.
I’m sure he or I will post the site location as soon as it is up and
running.
Special thanks go to my beta testers (especially John Gersten) for
giving me input on version 1.0 in order to create this new version. I
would also like to thank my cat (Whiskers) for his assistance with many
of the jokes. I promise to remember to feed you this week, Whiskers.
Please send any and all suggestions/compliments/brutal verbal attacks
to Fl...@worldnet.att.net.
--
--Andrius Schmid
--> Fl...@worldnet.att.net <--
**Keeper of the Action Figure Code**
# *AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 #
# Beast Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ #
# WEB+ #
# #
# TF1.1 G+++ FR FW- M #100+ D+ AD++/AD+ N+++ W B+++ OQP BC96++ MU- OM #
# #
# I want to buy: #
# (All MIB) Power Rangers Tor, Deluxe Ninja and Shogun Megazords #
# Transformers (Loose or Boxed) #
# Battle Beasts (Loose or Boxed) #
JSV
AF1.1** COL** SC+++/SC* RPT TRU** KB WAL* KMRT TAR* VEN (wish puzzle zoo would just
go away) FAO (a couple of times a year on vacation) SERV $20- LS(500-1000) PK(maybe
a dozen) *MICRONAUTS(any)/*Batman(any) CST+++ SO++ #MO=9 CJ+ RD++ PST/PST+
WEB/WEB-(just don't have time)
Jared
Andrius Schmid wrote:
>
> All--
>
> Many of you know of the Geek Code, the Goth Code, the Transformers
> Code, etc. Well, may I present (drum roll, please) the Action Figure
> Code. This is a code for all your RTA-Fers out there. Let everyone
> know about your obsession. Enjoy.
Andrius Schmid
Glenn M. Mason wrote:
>
> Andrius Schmid <Fl...@postoffice.worldnet.att.net> wrote ...
>
> >*AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 Beast
> >Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ WEB+
> >
> >You can now place your individual code in your .sig file. I would
> >appreciate it if you would mail me a copy of your code, so I can
> >compare everyone's individual codes.
>
> program for just $29.95? ;-)
>
> Let me guess - you code makefiles for a living right? C/C++?
> Unix shell programming, maybe?
>
> Glenn
Huh? This is no joke or scam. This is a little way for RTA-Fers to
tell of their obbsession. They rank themselves with individual markings
in order to tell about themselves in their .sig. I'm not selling
anything. Did you read the code, Glenn? or are you just kidding around
with me.
Glenn M. Mason
Andrius Schmid <Fl...@postoffice.worldnet.att.net> wrote ...
>*AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 Beast
>Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ WEB+
>
>You can now place your individual code in your .sig file. I would
>appreciate it if you would mail me a copy of your code, so I can
>compare everyone's individual codes.
Is this a joke or are you about to release a RTAF code-generator
Eric Ehrbar
Why in hell did you waste your time doing this?
Is this a survey or rules you are trying to implement?
If they are rules or guidelines on easy use... well, frankly you need
some help.
if something was truly simpler...it would have evolved already.
Eric
Len Nickel
I am a major, for real, true fanatic in a big way about alot of figure lines.
I like lots of toys and especially the cool ones.
I can't seem to figure out how this code thing will work. I hardly
have time to read all of these news postings never mind figure out
and then code everything I like. No offence, but this realy seems
anal to me. I like to keep thigs organized but this just confuses me.
Since I really won't spare a few hours to figure this outfor myself,
it also means that I can't understand what other people are posting.
In my opinion, Hey why don't we all use English, then almost everyone
can understand everyone.
__________________________________________________
Len Nickel
lni...@bc.sympatico.ca
Vancouver, BC Canada.
_______________________________________________________
The box... you opened it. We came.
It’s a means to summon us - Cenobites.
Explorers in the further regions of experiance.
Demons to some. Angels to others.
You solved the box. We came.
Pinhead Cenobite
Hellraiser
Lawrence R. Jones
Andrius Schmid
Thanks for your support. I was quite shocked at the number of people
who seem to be completely unclear on the concept. I have gotten replies
from several people who have obviously note read the Code and proceed to
chastize (sp?) me for trying to regulate their communications/sell a
product/take over the solar system, none of which is true. 1) I am not
trying to sell something. 2) The code is not a new method for
communicating, it is simply a neat and ofttimes humorous way of telling
other RTAFers about yourself. 3) I have NO interest in taking over the
solar system. Maybe America, Canada, and Singapore (since they get
whole cases of a single figure. Talk about your anti-scalping
headquarters :-) ). I might even consider taking over Mars, since that
seems like the only place where I will be able to find a Martian Spy
Girl. But that's it!
Disclaimer to all ye of short tempers and single-digit IQs: Why don't
you read the Code before trashing it? If you have some honest
criticisms/suggestions, please feel free to E-Mail me. Sheesh.
--
--Andrius Schmid
--> Fl...@worldnet.att.net <--
**Keeper of the Action Figure Code**
# *AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 #
# Beast Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ #
# WEB+ #
# #
# TF1.1 G+++ FR FW- M #100+ D+ AD++/AD+ N+++ W B+++ OQP BC96++ MU- OM #
# #
# I want to buy: #
# (All MIB) Power Rangers Tor, Deluxe Ninja and Shogun Megazords #
# Transformers (Loose or Boxed) #
# Battle Beasts (Loose or MOC) #
Kevin Johnston
>> Why in hell did you waste your time doing this?
>>
>> Is this a survey or rules you are trying to implement?
>>
>> If they are rules or guidelines on easy use... well, frankly you need
>> some help.
>>
>> if something was truly simpler...it would have evolved already.
> Andrius: Personally, I thought it was great.
Yep, I laughed my butt off and found it totally worthwhile.
Kevin
Andrius Schmid
OHHH! They like me! They really like me!! ;-)
--
--Andrius Schmid
--> Fl...@worldnet.att.net <--
**Keeper of the Action Figure Code**
# *AF1.1 COL* SC+/SC+++ RPT++ KB# TRU* TAR* $100+ LS=500-600 PK=2 #
# Beast Wars Inferno CST-/CST+ XSO+ #MO=12 CJ++/CJ+++ RD+ PST/PST+ #
# WEB+ #
# #
# TF1.1 G+++ FR FW- M #100+ D+ AD++/AD+ N+++ W B+++ OQP BC96++ MU- OM #
# #
# I want to buy: #
# (All MIB) Power Rangers Tor, Deluxe Ninja and Shogun Megazords #
# Transformers (Loose or Boxed) #
# Battle Beasts (Loose or MOC) #