The 20 best soccer rumours that i've heard
Camel Jockey
I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
1. Peter Beardsley having affair with Kenny Dalglish's wife?
2. Arsene Wenger having a thing for small children?
3. Robbie Fowler/Steve McMannaman/MP's daughter sex romp?
4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
5. Faustino Asprilla was the one who shot Escobar?
6. Beckham and 3 teenage models in the back of his car?
7. Barry Venison having affair with John Beresford's wife?
8. CIA fixed Maradonna's drug test because he was sympathetic towards
Fidel Castro?
9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
12. Tony Adams fell down nightclub steps whilst pissed and wearing
women's clothes?
13. Andy Cole sold by Newcastle because he was selling drugs to other
players?
14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
16. Bryan Roy and Steve Stone turning up drunk for a game and fined?
17. Kevin Keegan told a load of children to fuck off when asked for
his autograph?
18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
reading the Times and/or gay?
19. Keegan's house vandalised by Geordies after Newcastle didn't win
the premier league?
20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
--
If you wish to reply to me, remove the 'x' from the
e-mail adress (anti-spam) dee...@premier.co.uk
--The Toon Army - Not everything in
black and white makes sense.
Chris Applegate
Camel Jockey <dee...@premier.co.uk> wrote in article
<33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>...
> I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
> came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
> splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
> be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
> No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
> Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
> 3. Robbie Fowler/Steve McMannaman/MP's daughter sex romp?
> 4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
> house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
> 9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
Caught by police but was given a warning.
> 10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
> 11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
community service
> 14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
> 18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
> reading the Times and/or gay?
other for a defensive mistake.
> 20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
--
Unpredictability, too, can become monotonous
Chris Applegate
s.appl...@virgin.net
Remove x from Reply-To address to reply by mail
Chuck Pearson
Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
: No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
: Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
: 10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
i don't know jack about any of the others, but i do know that joe kinnear
gave holdsworth a couple of weeks away from training with wimbledon last
year "to sort out his marriage," and these allegations were just hitting
that peak at that time.
i've also heard rumors of said porn star posing for pictures in
holdsworth's WFC kit.
if the whole romp never happened, then an awful lot of coincidences took
place.
chuck
--
fear is a fool who just won't shut up. (thanx to dime store prophets.)
cpea...@freenet.columbus.oh.us
Chris
In article <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>, Camel Jockey
<dee...@premier.co.uk> writes
>I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
>came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
>splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
>be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
>Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>
>2. Arsene Wenger having a thing for small children?
>house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
>6. Beckham and 3 teenage models in the back of his car?
>7. Barry Venison having affair with John Beresford's wife?
>8. CIA fixed Maradonna's drug test because he was sympathetic towards
>Fidel Castro?
>9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
>women's clothes?
>13. Andy Cole sold by Newcastle because he was selling drugs to other
>players?
>16. Bryan Roy and Steve Stone turning up drunk for a game and fined?
>17. Kevin Keegan told a load of children to fuck off when asked for
>his autograph?
>reading the Times and/or gay?
>the premier league?
>
Gazza headbutting a woman outside a pub.
Hahahahahahahahahahaohohohohohohohohoteehehehehehehehehe, and relax.
\****************/
\\[Chris Wilmot]//
\\==============//
\\\ARSENAL FAN!///
""""""""""""""""""
PJS
On 02/08/97 10:44, in message <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>, Camel
Jockey <dee...@premier.co.uk> wrote:
> I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
> came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
> splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
> be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
> No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
> Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
(snip)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You forgot:
Leeds sold Cantona because he was sleeping with Leslie Ash (Lee Chapman's wife)
and/or because he punched Gordon Strachan during training.
Martin Watson
In article <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>, Camel Jockey
<dee...@premier.co.uk> writes
>I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
>came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
>splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
>be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
>No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
>Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>
Happened several years ago (1985ish).
>11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
dangerous driving, or something like that, just after leaving Ajax.
>14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
>15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++ Martin Watson ++ Life is like a Rollercoaster. It has its ups ++
++ ++ and downs, and people will get frightened and ++
++ Hereford ++ take it seriously. But, hey, it's just a ride. ++
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Paul Mettewie
Chris Applegate wrote:
> > 4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
> > house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
> He fired shots at journalists outside his home in Italy.
Drug dealers...journalists???? I can see why there was some
confusion. Both sell dope.
> > 9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
> Caught by police but was given a warning.
Kerb-crawling? Is that like cow-tipping?
> > 10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
> True.
Unnnnhhh...aaaahhhhhh......fwwweeeetttt!!!!
> > 11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
> Not deliberately but he was negligent. Convicted for it and was given
> community service
Berlusconi and Kluivert.....one is an ex-con and the other
should be.
> > 14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
> Slapped her in the face when he was in New York. Later apologised
Gee Gazza, thanks for the apology. I hope she sued his
socks off.
> > 18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
> > reading the Times and/or gay?
> Batty tried to deck Le Saux in a European match because one blamed the
> other for a defensive mistake.
Wow ... I took pride in defense but I never decked a teammate
(on purpose anyway).
> > 20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
> True. Lofty the Lion was sacked after allegations by away fans.
Hehehehehehe....funny.
I can see the headlines now!
Lofty Lifts a Finger?
Lofty is the Moon?
Don't Cross Your Lion Eyes!
Crossing the Lion!
The Lion Bleeps Tonight! (In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the
Lion bleeps tonight......)
-Riff"I promise I won't sing"Ster
FORZA INTER!
Benny
These are other rumours. Ravenelli and Emerson have both been cheating on
their wives thus the problems they have had over the past season and Juninho
and his father got beat up because Juninho was screwing some hardcases's
girlfriend.
Benny, Middlesbrough, England
Sempre Milan
"When people think of Italy, after the Mafia and pizza, they think of
AC Milan." , Silvio Berlusconi speaking of the new Milan.
helmet
In article <7FzqRPA4...@cabinet.demon.co.uk> Chris <Wil...@cabinet.demon.co.uk> writes:
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>From: Chris <Wil...@cabinet.demon.co.uk>
>Newsgroups: alt.sports.soccer.european.uk,alt.sports.soccer.european,rec.sport.soccer
>Subject: Re: The 20 best soccer rumours that i've heard
>Date: Sat, 2 Aug 1997 15:34:32 +0100
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>In article <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>, Camel Jockey
><dee...@premier.co.uk> writes
>>I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
>>came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
>>splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
>>be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
>>No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
>>Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>>
>>1. Peter Beardsley having affair with Kenny Dalglish's wife?
>>2. Arsene Wenger having a thing for small children?
>>3. Robbie Fowler/Steve McMannaman/MP's daughter sex romp?
>>4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
>>house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
>>5. Faustino Asprilla was the one who shot Escobar?
>>6. Beckham and 3 teenage models in the back of his car?
>>7. Barry Venison having affair with John Beresford's wife?
>>8. CIA fixed Maradonna's drug test because he was sympathetic towards
>>Fidel Castro?
>>9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
>>10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
>>11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
>>12. Tony Adams fell down nightclub steps whilst pissed and wearing
>>women's clothes?
>>13. Andy Cole sold by Newcastle because he was selling drugs to other
>>players?
>>14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
>>15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
>>16. Bryan Roy and Steve Stone turning up drunk for a game and fined?
>>17. Kevin Keegan told a load of children to fuck off when asked for
>>his autograph?
>>18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
>>reading the Times and/or gay?
>>19. Keegan's house vandalised by Geordies after Newcastle didn't win
>>the premier league?
>>20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
those are the facts wheres the romours?
helmet
FBC Houlford
Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
: I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
: came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
: splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
: be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
: No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
: Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
:
: 1. Peter Beardsley having affair with Kenny Dalglish's wife?
Is she the one with the white stick and the labrador?
: 2. Arsene Wenger having a thing for small children?
Yawn.
: 3. Robbie Fowler/Steve McMannaman/MP's daughter sex romp?
Hahah.
: 4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
: house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
: 5. Faustino Asprilla was the one who shot Escobar?
I can believe both of those.
: 6. Beckham and 3 teenage models in the back of his car?
Wonder if Posh Spice knows about this....
: 7. Barry Venison having affair with John Beresford's wife?
She also got a white stick?
: 8. CIA fixed Maradonna's drug test because he was sympathetic towards
: Fidel Castro?
Heh.
: 9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
Laf. That was Ian Wright's comment, I don't think it was true ;-)
: 10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
This one is true. He shagged some 18 year old porn star with HUGE tits,
and his wife was not happy. He's kinda back with his wife now though.
: 11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
Dunno about the deliberate bit, but the rest is true.
: 12. Tony Adams fell down nightclub steps whilst pissed and wearing
: women's clothes?
Hahahah, imagine that!
: 13. Andy Cole sold by Newcastle because he was selling drugs to other
: players?
Heh, I've heard this one too. Don't think it's true though.
: 14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
Probably an exagerration, but he has been involved in a few scuffles with
women, allegedly ;-)
: 15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
Dunno about Adams, but when Merson was at his lowest with his problems he
was basically stoned/pissed while playing.
: 16. Bryan Roy and Steve Stone turning up drunk for a game and fined?
Shrug.
: 17. Kevin Keegan told a load of children to fuck off when asked for
: his autograph?
Doubt it.
: 18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
: reading the Times and/or gay?
Hahahahahahahahahahahah.
: 19. Keegan's house vandalised by Geordies after Newcastle didn't win
: the premier league?
I could believe that.
: 20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
Hahahahah.
-Ben
David Arnold
dee...@premier.co.uk (Camel Jockey) writes:
>3. Robbie Fowler/Steve McMannaman/MP's daughter sex romp?
Yep.
>4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
>house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
Like it.
>5. Faustino Asprilla was the one who shot Escobar?
Nah don't think so.
>6. Beckham and 3 teenage models in the back of his car?
3! Is that all? I thought he had the whole Spice girls in the
back...
>9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
True.
>10. Dean Holdsworth and a porn star?
Yep.
>11. Patrick Kluivert deliberately ran someone over in his car?
Deliberately... He was going at about 180ks an hour or something...
>13. Andy Cole sold by Newcastle because he was selling drugs to other
>players?
Spending too much time in London.
>14. Gazza headbutted a woman outside a pub?
Yes.
>15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
Yes.
>16. Bryan Roy and Steve Stone turning up drunk for a game and fined?
Dunno.
>17. Kevin Keegan told a load of children to fuck off when asked for
>his autograph?
I believe it, I believe it. "I'll just love it, love it when I beat
those snotrags."
--
deigh d...@yallara.cs.rmit.edu.au http://yallara.cs.rmit.edu.au/~dga/
* May 18th 1997 - Death of the light. Cantona retires. *
Dancing Strawberry
In article <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>,
dee...@premier.co.uk (Camel Jockey) wrote:
>15. Tony Adams/Paul Merson playing whilst pissed/drugged?
I think Merson actually admitted to that one.
Lee Banyard
FBC Houlford (fh6...@ncs.bris.ac.uk) wrote:
: : 18. Batty punched Le Saux because he thought Le Saux was a snob for
: : reading the Times and/or gay?
:
: Hahahahahahahahahahahah.
Is this meant to be related to the on-pitch scuffle between the two?
Le Saux actually whacked Batty in the face, and Le Saux actually broke
two of his fingers on Batty's face. Funnee!
--
Lee B
"Shit! Did you see that? He must
have a foot like a traction engine!"
- Alan Partridge, commentator
Mr D. Betal
Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
: I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
: came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
: splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
: be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
: No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
: Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
Also, after Stevie Coppell's sudden departure from City due to 'stress',
the word going around Manchester was that his gaunt appearance was
due to AIDS and that he was living with Alec Gilroy from Coronation
Street - bizarre !!!
Dib.
***************************************************************************
Dr. Dibendu Betal, Tel: 0151 794 5645
University of Liverpool Magnetic Resonance Fax: 0151 794 5635
and Image Analysis Research Centre, Email: di...@liverpool.ac.uk
Pembroke Place, P.O. Box 147,
LIVERPOOL, L69 3BX.
***************************************************************************
Chris Applegate
Paul Mettewie <pan...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in article
<33E3E9...@ix.netcom.com>...
> Chris Applegate wrote:
>
> > > 20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
>
> Hehehehehehe....funny.
>
> I can see the headlines now!
>
> Lofty Lifts a Finger?
> Lofty is the Moon?
> Don't Cross Your Lion Eyes!
> Crossing the Lion!
> The Lion Bleeps Tonight! (In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the
> Lion bleeps tonight......)
The press had a field day when the news came out. Lofty protetsed his
innocence, saying he was only waving. Of course, no mascot beats Arsenal's
'Gunnersaurus' - a giant fluffy dinosaur that has more than a passing
resemblance to Tony Adams :)
Blue Moon
In article <01bca045$dcaacd20$LocalHost@the-computeer>, Chris Applegate
<s.appl...@virgin.net> writes
>Of course, no mascot beats Arsenal's
>'Gunnersaurus' - a giant fluffy dinosaur that has more than a passing
>resemblance to Tony Adams :)
Oh! I reckon we beat you for embarassment. Moonchester a blue dwarf with
big ears....really awful. about 5 foot 6 with a really dreadful squeaky
voice...funny but he seemed to appear just after Alan Ball's
sacking/resignation.
--
__
_|__|_
_( )_
// ^^ \\
()| |()
\\( )( )//
^|~~~~|^
| || |
(__||__)
BLUE MOON
Blue Moon
In article <EECMy...@liverpool.ac.uk>, "Mr D. Betal"
<di...@liverpool.ac.uk> writes
> Also, after Stevie Coppell's sudden departure from City due to 'stress',
> the word going around Manchester was that his gaunt appearance was
> due to AIDS and that he was living with Alec Gilroy from Coronation
> Street - bizarre !!!
rumour was that he had been seen in a gay bar in town with a young
friend, then it was caught in a comprimising position in the gay bar,
then ... that he was a well known gay and been caught with a rent boy..
then that his appearance was due to aids. I suppose it was a matter of
time before someone linked him with a TV TV (sic) personality, but a
Coronation Street star, come on!!!!!
The one thing that I can believe about him is that he is a lying,
cheating bastard. He left MAine road crying stress, said that he was in
the States when he was at Palace all the time, accepted a good will
payment of (reputedly 50 grand) off Franny Lee, as his carrer was in
shreads and then announced his return to the game within weeks. I look
forward to his return to Maine Road.
Mike Armitage
In article <01bc9f2e$5f7beb80$LocalHost@the-computeer>, Chris Applegate
<s.appl...@virgin.net> writes
>True. Lofty the Lion was sacked after allegations by away fans.
How dare you cast aspersions on the lion dancing lofty. He's been
around for a couple of years now, and has always done a little tour of
the ground at half time to provide entertainment. The away fans area
too gets a vist, earning him the prestigious accolade of being the
number one mascot in the first division, as voted by the away fans.
It was the Wolves fans who complained about him getting a bit pelvic -
given the recent history between the clubs, LL was probably a bit OTT.
Wonder if the complaint would've still been made if a 3-0 stuffing
hadn't occurred though?
--
Mike A
Keith Mills
P...@winwaed.demon.co.uk (PJS) wrote:
>On 02/08/97 10:44, in message <33e8014b...@news.premier.co.uk>, Camel
>
>> I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
>> came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
>> splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
>> be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
>> No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
>> Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>You forgot:
>
>Leeds sold Cantona because he was sleeping with Leslie Ash (Lee Chapman's wife)
>and/or because he punched Gordon Strachan during training.
I remember that and Lee Sharp in drink or drugs of gay sex scandal (take
your pick!!!)
Keith
Colin Riches
Mr D. Betal <di...@liverpool.ac.uk> wrote in article
<EECMy...@liverpool.ac.uk>...
> Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
> : I was chatting on IRC last night and the subject of football rumours
> : came up, you know, the sort of stuff sung by fans at matches or
> : splashed on the front pages of rags like the Sun. I thought it might
> : be fun to list all the ones that i've ever heard here.
> : No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
> : Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>
> Also, after Stevie Coppell's sudden departure from City due to
'stress',
> the word going around Manchester was that his gaunt appearance was
> due to AIDS and that he was living with Alec Gilroy from Coronation
> Street - bizarre !!!
>
> Dib.
>
Excellent.
Can you imagine at home with Steve Coppell and Alec Gilroy? What a couple.
--
Colin Riches
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sports Stadia Page
http://www.ncl.ac.uk/~n343992/stadiapage.htm
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather....
...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
Colin Riches
FBC Houlford <fh6...@ncs.bris.ac.uk> wrote in article
<EEBC2...@fsa.bris.ac.uk>...
> Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
>
>
> : 19. Keegan's house vandalised by Geordies after Newcastle didn't win
> : the premier league?
>
> I could believe that.
KK lived and still lives on a private estate at Wynyard Hall (owned by John
Hall).
The security is apparently pretty tight so I can't believe this. I don't
think any NUFC fans would have done that anyway.
>
> -Ben
>
dav...@removethisbit.netcomuk.co.uk
I heard, from a WBA player, that Coppell went because he was caught
in central M'cr with a male prostitute. Hmmmm....
Dave Mac, West Yorks, UK
http://www.netcomuk.co.uk/~davmac/home.htm
Doggo
FBC Houlford (fh6...@ncs.bris.ac.uk) wrote:
: Andrew Dempster (a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk) wrote:
:
: : After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
: : much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
: : under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO", which had Deano's
:
: Well Doggo, is this true? You and Dean Holdsworth eh?
:
: -Ben
Although I am indeed a porn star, I must protest that it was not
me that the Sun was referring to. In terms of the Dons, isn't it a pity
that Deano's finishing abilities don't translate to football so readily...
Doggo - the red&white knight.
Chris Applegate
Andrew Dempster <a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk> wrote in article
<33E70E...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk>...
[snip]
> After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
> much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
> under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO",
And I thought Doggo was a shining example of morality, but in reality he's
a marriage wrecker. Disgrace.
Snaps
"Chris Applegate" <s.appl...@virgin.net> wrote:
>> > > 20. Bolton's lion macot made obscene gestures to the fans?
>> > True. Lofty the Lion was sacked after allegations by away fans.
This news doesn't surprise me. Lofty had a serious attitude problem.
Here is a snippet from a posting I made in March that should help
clarify even further:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sn...@kavana.u-net.com (Snaps)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.soccer
Subject: Re: Bolton Wanderers
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 1997 21:31:30 GMT
Last week I was shopping at an Asda in Bolton when, to my surprise, I
saw Lofty in the store doing promotional work with a million little kids
from local schools in tow. Naturally, the vast majority of the children
were wearing United shirts. There were a few Bolton shirts too, but the
kids wearing them were straight from the 'Billy Bob Thornton' shallow
end of the gene-pool.
A space had been cleared and Lofty, resplendent in his Lion suit, was
busy saving penalties from the children. It seems the event was supposed
to be taking place outside in the car park, but it was raining and Lofty
didn't want to "get my fur wet". It actually looked like fun, until one
of the teachers decided to take a shot -- presumably to show his young
charges how great he was -- hitting the ball a tad strongly and
obliterating half of Lofty's papier-maché face. Lofty was a bit pissed
off by this, and as the children were lead off to the cafeteria for a
break, he took his head off and began panel-beating it out into it's
proper shape. I approached him and offered an "Alright Lofty?"
"Did you see that fuckin' twat showing off?", he said. I laughed.
"Cost a fuckin' grand this, y'know. Just for the head, that is". I was
more than impressed.
I said, "A thousand pounds for head, Lofty? The pro's on Chifnall Street
will do you out of business". Or, at least, that's what I *should* have
said, but I only thought of the joke just now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Snaps.
FBC Houlford
Andrew Dempster (a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk) wrote:
: The said porn star was Linsey Dawn McKenzie.
: It was a classic story uncovered by the News of the World last year.
: After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
: much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
: wife comparing the looks of Linsey Dawn McKenzie to her pet Rotweiler.
:
: I'm pretty sure the Holdworths are now divorced, and recent news on
: Linsey Dawn McKenzie was that she was also a prostitute as well as a
: porn star.
:
: The pictures in the WFC kit were on the Loaded homepage, at:
:
: http://www.uploaded.com
:
: i don't know if they are still there.
Oh yeah, they're still there *grin* ;-)
-Ben
FBC Houlford
Andrew Dempster (a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk) wrote:
: After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
: much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
: under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO", which had Deano's
Well Doggo, is this true? You and Dean Holdsworth eh?
-Ben
Andrew Dempster
Chuck Pearson wrote:
>
> Camel Jockey (dee...@premier.co.uk) wrote:
> : No flames please, i'm just printing them as I remember 'em.
> : Any verifications/full stories behind them would be nice though.....
>
>
> i've also heard rumors of said porn star posing for pictures in
> holdsworth's WFC kit.
>
> if the whole romp never happened, then an awful lot of coincidences took
> place.
>
> chuck
> --
The said porn star was Linsey Dawn McKenzie.
It was a classic story uncovered by the News of the World last year.
After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO", which had Deano's
wife comparing the looks of Linsey Dawn McKenzie to her pet Rotweiler.
I'm pretty sure the Holdworths are now divorced, and recent news on
Linsey Dawn McKenzie was that she was also a prostitute as well as a
porn star.
The pictures in the WFC kit were on the Loaded homepage, at:
i don't know if they are still there.
Andy
--
--------------------------------------------
Andrew Dempster
a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk
http://www.ee.ed.ac.uk/~ee4amd
--------------------------------------------
Andrew Dempster
FBC Houlford wrote:
> : 9. David Pleat kerb-crawling?
>
> Laf. That was Ian Wright's comment, I don't think it was true ;-)
>
No, this is definitely true.
I can clearly remember the scandal at the time. I also think it was one
of the reasons he got sacked by Spurs.
That's why Wright made reference to it.
Any Spurs fans able to confirm this ?
It definitely happened when he was at Spurs.
James
Okay, how about these.
21. Where's the story about Schmeichel and Cantona having a punch
up/affair/Schmeichel's missus being obcessed with Cantona, or many other
of the Schmeichel/Cantona rumours? Oh, remember the one about Cantona
and Lee Chapman's missus?
22. Okay, who forgot the Russian Mafia/Kanchelskis/gambling stories?
Those were good ones. Made more convincing by the story about the owner
of Kanchelkis's old club being assassinated.
23. How about the Man U. conspiracy stories? "Shearer wasn't allowed to
play for Man Utd. because Jack Walker wouldn't let him?" and "the whole
league is against us" ones? a.k.a. whinging.
24. 'The Sun' had been putting up rent boys from Leeds in hotels in
Newcastle towards the end of Kevin Keegan's reign and they left at the
same time as Keegan. Keegan was beat up because he owed some
pimps/dealers money.
25. Remember back in the early 80s, when United had a different chairman
- he was being investigated by the police for taking bungs/bribing other
teams/referees when he died.
The stories change everytime, some of these are just what I've heard.
--
James
Spam Buster in operation.
Belinda Ford
>: The said porn star was Linsey Dawn McKenzie.
>: It was a classic story uncovered by the News of the World last year.
>: After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
>: much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
>: under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO", which had Deano's
>: wife comparing the looks of Linsey Dawn McKenzie to her pet Rotweiler.
>:
>: I'm pretty sure the Holdworths are now divorced, and recent news on
>: Linsey Dawn McKenzie was that she was also a prostitute as well as a
>: porn star.
>:
>: The pictures in the WFC kit were on the Loaded homepage, at:
>:
>: http://www.uploaded.com
>:
>: i don't know if they are still there.
>
>
>-Ben
What is it - him with nothing but a scarf round his bits? Ooooooh!
Belinda
--
Belinda Ford
Julie J
In article <tFR8cKAo...@ansur.demon.co.uk>, Belinda Ford
<bf...@ansur.demon.co.uk> writes
>What - pictures of Doggo in a WFC kit? This I've gotta see.....
>What is it - him with nothing but a scarf round his bits? Ooooooh!
Scarft around his bits, Doggo's surely man enough to do without that
(joke)...
--
Julie J
Ted.e.Bear
In article <tFR8cKAo...@ansur.demon.co.uk>, Belinda Ford
<bf...@ansur.demon.co.uk> writes
>What - pictures of Doggo in a WFC kit? This I've gotta see.....
>What is it - him with nothing but a scarf round his bits? Ooooooh!
Doesn't need a whole scarf deos he ? Now, a rossette, I'd pay to see
that (ouch!)
--
Ted E Bear
"Were you at the game, caller ?"
What's It To You?
On Wed, 06 Aug 97 19:06:20 GMT, P...@winwaed.demon.co.uk (PJS) wrote:
>On 05/08/97 17:53, in message <EEG9L...@fsa.bris.ac.uk>, FBC Houlford
><fh6...@ncs.bris.ac.uk> wrote:
>
>> Andrew Dempster (a.m.de...@ug.ee.ed.ac.uk) wrote:
>> : The said porn star was Linsey Dawn McKenzie.
>> : It was a classic story uncovered by the News of the World last year.
>> : After they revelaed it, they interviewed Dean Holdsworth's wife (who was
>> : much better looking than the porn star IMHO) for the next day's Sun,
>> : under the great headline "DEANO LEFT ME FOR DOGGO", which had Deano's
>> : wife comparing the looks of Linsey Dawn McKenzie to her pet Rotweiler.
Wow! that must be one hell of an ugly dog!.
>> : I'm pretty sure the Holdworths are now divorced, and recent news on
>> : Linsey Dawn McKenzie was that she was also a prostitute as well as a
>> : porn star.
God! there must be some pretty desperate men out there.
>> : The pictures in the WFC kit were on the Loaded homepage, at:
>> :
>> : http://www.uploaded.com
>> :
>> : i don't know if they are still there.
They're still there and I'll never forgive you for making me curious
enough to go and check her out!.
>> Oh yeah, they're still there *grin* ;-)
That *NOT* funny!.
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> . . and Linsey Dawn seems to be the result of a hideous experiment to graft a
>boxer's head onto a Page 3 girl's body . . .
You're not kidding!, she has to be the most revolting thing to ever
rear it's ugly head on the internet (and that's saying something!).
She looks like a cross between a particularly ugly male boxer who's
overdosed on steroids for several decades and one of those female
American Gladiators. Quite frankly I'd rather shag Ronaldo than her.
Richard Head - The Artist Formerly Known As AsylumBoy
Today's words of wisdom:
I feel sick!.
Coming soon......
Dick Head's Anti-Ronaldo Page.
What's It To You?
On Sat, 02 Aug 1997 21:13:16 -0500, Paul Mettewie
<pan...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>Chris Applegate wrote:
>
>> > 4. Faustino Asprilla shooting someone for selling drugs outside his
>> > house in Columbia and getting away with it through lack of evidence?
>> He fired shots at journalists outside his home in Italy.
>
>Drug dealers...journalists???? I can see why there was some
>confusion. Both sell dope.
Kinda like Ronaldo's agents.....geddit?...huhuh huh huh....selling
dope=selling Ronaldo....huhuhhuh huh huhhuh....that was pretty cool,
huh Riff?.
<MAJOR SNIP>
>-Riff"I promise I won't sing"Ster
>
>FORZA INTER!
Richard Head - The Artist Formerly Known As AsylumBoy
or
WIT"I *WILL* sing!"TY
if you so prefer.
Today's words of wisdom:
Just do it!.
Coming soon......
Dick Head's Anti-Ronaldo Page.
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