Best motivational line...

[Coxucker]

Being a somewhat inexperienced coxswain, I was just wondering what
kind of stuff gets you riled up. General explanations or direct quotes from
exceptional coxswains (admit it, there are some out there), either one would
be very helpful. Coxswains, here is your chance to brag about your prowess
off the rudder.

[boatwrecker]

I don't know what kind of person you are, but do you really like being
known as a "Coxucker"?

Dave 'boatwrecker' Rushka : "When in doubt,
University of British Columbia : Pull it out!"
Varsity Men's Coxswain :
and Mouth Mechanic (II) : (teeth, that is)

[Scott Atwood Freed]

When I was rowing in High School, our freshman were practicing with the
varsity for a day. After a particularly weak piece by the novice men our
coach (who will remain anonymous) pulled up next to their boat and said,
"Novice boys, you couldn't pull your dicks out of a warm jar of
vaseline!" In the varsity boat, we just laughed while the novices sat
shocked and slack-jawed. I would like to hear any other remarkable
comments that anyone out there has either given, recieved, or witnessed.

Thankyou,
Scott Freed
sfr...@unix.cc.emory.edu

[John Heder]

1~

In my novice year we had a motly crew (no pun) come out for the team.
One particularly scrawny individual was having the hardest time just
getting up and down the slide. Our crusty old coach (Doc Fitz-james
for all those Canadians in the know) was getting quite exasperated
with the feeble stylings of the aforementioned novice. In a comment
full of tact and grace, he screamed right in the poor boy's face "Hey
buddy, you might want to see if Western has a knitting team!" And
drove off. Needless to say, the poor guy never came back!
wuy

[Russ Young]

I remember hearing about a guy whose college coach told him, "You've
probably reached your full potential ... unfortunately, your teammates are
rowing at about half theirs, and they're already better than you!"

(There's a happy ending, though -- he didn't give up, and made the
Lightweight National Team a few years later. So stand up and take a bow,
Steve Estes!)

[Kevin Waldick]

My coach yelled, "Seven seat, if you catch any later I'm going to give
the coxswain a pregnancy test!!"

[roger hobby]

another one i heard about today from someone who's school and coach shall
remain nameless. it seems a friend was about to race in the novice four, and
the coach came up to them and said, <<well, i'm surprised you got this far.
you're probably going to dfl (dead f#&@ing last) so just don't embarass me.>>
yeah! way to go coach!

roger hobby
brandeis ltwts

[Geoffrey S Knauth]

Hmm. Probably the most memorable hard comment a coach ever directed
to me personally was, on a foggy morning long ago: "That's the perfect
way to R-U-I-N a piece!", delivered with a big megaphone pointed right
into my face and with the roar of a 747 on takeoff, followed up with a
huge, enduring wake for the last mile, which I assure you made my
rowers love me even more.

More recently, I've mainly been witness to coaches' fury at others,
and sometimes still at me:

"You row like marshmellow!"
"Get out of boat, swim home, you are sh*tty rower!"
"Why are you here? You are wasting my time."
"Weigh enough! What is this f***ing masterbation?"
"I don't care if you are f***ing Harvard graduate,
set up f***ing boat!"

I must say, though, they make for colorful, sometimes hilarious
memories I will never forget.

Geoffrey
--
Geoffrey S. Knauth <g...@marble.com> http://www.marble.com/people/gsk.html
Marble Associates, Inc., (617) 487-0050 CRASH-B Sprints, Cambridge Boat Club

[`Squatsch]

Give 'em an AMF 10! "Adios Mother Fuckers 10! One...Two..."

--
Are you the one they call Pussywillow?

`Squatsh

[Joel Furtek]

From my freshman lightweight coach, whom, incidentally, isn't so bad a guy:

"John, that stroke was awful..
that was worse...
that was a little better...
that was the worst stroke I've ever seen...
...I take that back..."

I guess it's not the same without Rick's deadpan into the megaphone. :-|

Cheers,

joel

Joel A. Furtek Coach, Novice Women's Rowing On Yule Farm
YLC - EARC 89,90 University of Virginia with Carol
Grad Ex Phys Varsity in 1995-6! Kona & Elsa

[boatwrecker]

`Squatsch (kpar...@emerald.tufts.edu) wrote:
: Give 'em an AMF 10! "Adios Mother Fuckers 10! One...Two..."

: --
: Are you the one they call Pussywillow?

: `Squatsh

So just what is the protocol for the use of the dreaded 'adios mofos'
line - my impression was that it was to be used only after you've opened
water on the next crew - not as a motivational line. And where on earth
did you pick this line up -surely you must have heard some Canadian crew
mention it to yours, eh? ;-)

Dave.
--

[Joe 4U2NV]

One day at the begining of spring practice we were on the water and my
coach says to my seven man, one of the smaller guys on the team, "You've
got great technique, you're biggest problem this year is going to be
pulling!" Ouch.

Joe Fuqua
Edgewater H.S.

[Splash NW]

I don't know guys... That sounds a little too close to Devon Mahoney's
"See you later assholes 10". I think you'd better reasses your ingenuity.

[acre...@grove.ufl.edu]

(in utter amazement) HOLY SHIT! WE'RE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING LEAD!

[WMullen182]

I have 4 that everyone might find funny:
"You couldn't pull a sailor off my sister!!!!"-Phil Roache Father Judge
High School Philadelphia

"Swing damit, it's a natural motion, you have to be trying to screw it
up"-Bill Lamb St.Joe's Prep (Midweight coach at the time)

"What are you 6'1"-6'2", you are rowing like a 5'5" girl"-Buzz Congram
Northeastern University

"You row like shit! If i have gun right now i shoot you dead! Bang!-Bang!"
Who can forget Korso in his lovely broken English/Polish

[Joe 4U2NV]

Another great one from the Edgewater coaching staff : "Why do you row? Why
don't you run track? This is a beautiful sport that I love and you make it
look like the ugliest bitch I've ever seen!"

[Chafee #12]

Here's one comment my coach Steve said before our first race:
"Hey guy's, don't worry about it, giving away tour shirts the first
time is a little hard, but after a while you get used to it!!"
Another one directed to me:
"GET it in! (stroke) NO! (stroke) NO! (Stroke) NO! That's Horrible!
Look at your blade! NO! Do you have something against lift your hands
at the catch! NO!" Lots of NO's

[jon-erik magnus]

Chafee #12 (LMUR3607.uriacc.uri.edu) wrote:
: Here's one comment my coach Steve said before our first race:

this is very similar to the Jim Tucci coaching method:

1) no (stroke),no (stroke), no (stroke), better (stroke), no (stroke)
this can go on for hours
2)" Jon-Erik, that crashing to port side... it's your fault"
3)"Jason, I'm not going to tell you what your doing wrong, but fix it"
4)"no Jacob, yoy don't understand"

all of these coments have their finer moments.
Jon-Erik
Skidmore Crew

[Stefan R Politz]

"If I am coaching you it is because I want you to get better. If I am
not coaching you it is either because you are doing it right or I know
that you won't get better"-Andy Medcalf, Penn Crew

"You row like old people fuck"-anonymous

As the 1990 Prep V8 rows by in their wooden empacher on the Schuylkill after
heavy rains and the water is very high and filled with a lot of debres:
Two guys talking on the dock. "Is that a piece of drift wood?"
-"No that is the V8, driftwood is faster."

WMullen182 (wmull...@aol.com)
wrote: : I have 4 that everyone might find funny:

: "You couldn't pull a sailor off my sister!!!!"-Phil Roache Father Judge
: High School Philadelphia

: "Swing damit, it's a natural motion, you have to be trying to screw it
: up"-Bill Lamb St.Joe's Prep (Midweight coach at the time)

I heard this one many times, although it was never ever directed at me.

: "What are you 6'1"-6'2", you are rowing like a 5'5" girl"-Buzz Congram

[Oz Crew]

What about the story of the coach taking two fours out to seat race. I
don't know where this happened, but it is legend.) The first race goes on
like normal, six minutes at 30. Boat A wins by two lengths.
The coach then comes up to the partly expired athletes and asks the bow
man of Boat B to get into the launch. He proceeds to hand the two man a
"Twinky" bar and asks him to place it on the bow seat and to take out the
oar. The two boats race again. The result:

Twinky bar wins by a length, it was not even using an oar!

[Robert Elias Dexter]

"oh, Jonah, you are incredible! Best coxwain ever! I mean it! Why don't
you just climb up on top of me!"
-shouted in broken polish/english

[David Thompson]

Just about the "twinky" comment, I've seen 8's win with only 7
rowing, great motivator for the rest to generally kick butt.

--
-----------------------------David Thompson
1st choice--> Dtho...@lan.tjhsst.edu
2nd choice--> Thom...@cap.gwu.edu
Warning... tagline out of space... tagline out of space. abort, r

[Gerard T. Moran]

"You Black out before you die!"

Tom MacDonagh, St Josephs College, Galway, Ireland

[Captain Clayhead]

In article <3o05hb$edj$1...@mhadg.production.compuserve.com>, David Thompson <73164...@CompuServe.COM> says:
>
>Just about the "twinky" comment, I've seen 8's win with only 7
>rowing, great motivator for the rest to generally kick butt.
>

[deleted]

I take it that the subject line refers to those coaches wo have 'quaint' little sayings for
oarspersons who displease them. These are a few from the coaches from Durham ARC, UK.
One chap used to row (to national level) with York ARC, so his comments are usually prefixed
with:

"When I was at York ..."

Comments include:

"You're a waste of a good skin"
"You couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding"
"It's like pushing a buffallo up hill"
"You can't even stop the seat rattling"
"My Grandmother can row better than that ... and she's been dead five years"

Slightly less informative, from a coach with a tenuous grip on reallity:

"Float up the slide like clouds across the sun"
"Some times my mind just goes a complete ..."
"You're rowing like a Christmas Tree"

If anyone can tell me what that last one means I might be able to stop.

Cheers

Captain "Christmas Tree" Clayhead

[Jim Gardner]

In article <D8D3x...@cee.hw.ac.uk>, n...@mec.hw.ac.uk (Captain Clayhead) wrote:

[snip]

> "You're rowing like a Christmas Tree"
>
> If anyone can tell me what that last one means I might be able to stop.
>
> Cheers
>
> Captain "Christmas Tree" Clayhead

My guess is perhaps you look like so much deadwood. Of course that's
still better than my coach's famous comment of: "Gardner, make a
change...any change!"

-Jim