Things your coxswain should never say
Alissa905
Things Your Coxswain Should Never Say
(1) Keep going, they might catch a crab.
(2) Just going through the umpire's wash
(3) Faster up the slide!
(4) (with a hint of hope) They're not going away as fast now
(5) ...97,98,99 ...
(6) (On the way to the start), Is that OUR race going by ?
(7) You're going to lose, DO SOMETHING!!
(8) Pull with your hands (!)
(9) Heard after 20 pretty good strokes of a 25k steady state row ...
"that's good, one minute gone."
(10) Give me another hard one!
(11) Two, watch the buoy.
(12) It looks shallow here...
(13) Pull harder guys...my dad is watching!
(14) Take a 10! You're dying!
(15) Let's focus on our technique now (as you cross over the 500m down mark).
(16) Are we at full pressure?
(17) Weigh enough...so three can recover from his crab.
(18) We are walking on the official's launch.
(19) When does our race start?
(20) Boy, those guys are fast!
(21) Last 10 strokes to the finish! 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 okay only 5 more!
(22) Let it run......in two.
(23) Hold water All!!
(24) They're going faster than us!
(25) We are going to lose...
(26) Hey guys, it looks terrible but feels great.
(27) They expect me to know what `Weigh Enough' means?
(28) Does anybody know which side the sandbar's on here?
(29) OH SHIT!!
(30) (Used while practicing for the Charles..) Now guys, this is the hardest
turn in the course, Oh Shit, Weigh'nuf!!
(31) (While your coach screams) "SAVE THE EQUIPMENT!!!"
(32) One, Two, Three, Seven, Five.... (during a power ten)
(33) Skeg?? what skeg?
(34) Take ten to focus
(35) Last minute....last fifty strokes...power twenty...power ten..
..Almost There!!! (Head of the Connecticut)
(36) Guys, I don't think this is our race.
(37) We're not gonna let the varsity beat us, we're the novice men!!
(38) Boy, I cant see anything in this fog.
(39) Look at that!!
(40) 'cmon guys, that sculler is beating us
(41) What are these strings for??
(42) Don't get tired...
(43) (During one of your first hard pieces in training):
"Come on, pull harder than you have ever pulled in your life before!"
(44) What the hell does that sail boat think it's doing?!!
(45) (Before you push off from the dock) How does this thing work?
(46) Give me a power ten. One. . .Two. . .Three. (yawn) .Four. . . .
(47) We're four boat lengths down...keep up the good work.
(48) (Head of The Connecticut) " I think I see the finish line, guys."
(49) Is there a reason that no one takes this arch?
(50) (After a brutal crab) "Hey, where does three think he's going?"
Christopher Schultz
"Come one guys!! We could actually win this race!!"
James Matthews-Paul
> (11) Two, watch the buoy.
Oooh, that's happened :-) I was stroke in a quad, and it was "Bow, watch the
buoy on your left!" and then "Stroke, watch the buoy on your right!" That was
scary, even if there were quite a few seconds between them - especially as
we were going around a right-turning corner (cox's perspective)...
> (21) Last 10 strokes to the finish! 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 okay only 5 more!
Not funny :-) My first race as a cox I was so nervous I managed to misjudge
everything like that...
> (Head of the Connecticut)
Someone please explain to a poor ol' Brit...
> (40) 'cmon guys, that sculler is beating us
Done it :-) Said as a joke while we were going up to the start of a regatta,
though, and we were going at a slow rating, square blades, no slide, two
at a time in a four, practically no power. And the sculler was in a race going
the other way :P
> (44) What the hell does that sail boat think it's doing?!!
That's not funny when you share your stretch of river with a sailing club :-(
M-P
(Cox :P / Rower)
Phoenix80m
"They're passing us!!!! Do something!!!!
Almost started laughing
Oh yeah, a cox in a stern-coxed boat should never open their eyes really
big....it's as bad as saying "Oh shit"
Koster J.A.
"Ok, now push! Remember all those erg workouts!"
They were in something like 3rd or 4th position, down by at least
three lengths at the 1500 metres mark in a 2km race. This cox's call
probably generated that last little extra millilitre of lactic acid
for complete muscle failure in the rowers if you ask me. I think the
last thing a crew wants to be reminded about (ever, but especially
at the 1500 mark!) is erg workouts!!!!!!!!
A3aan.
--
Don't attempt thinking for others before you can think for yourself.
http://www.cs.vu.nl/~a3aan/
SkinDay
"Power 10- 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 (Next stroke) We're still losing- take
another!" I think our coxswain in that race (my freshman year) called at least
21 or 22 power 10's in that race, which was funny seeing as it was only 2000
meters.
Or more recently in a varsity fours sprint race: "How'd these buoys get over
here?"
If you think sail boats are bad, try rowing a head race on Seattle's Lake
Union- "Where is that seaplane trying to land?" I think if any of our port
side in that race had had a problem "sky"-ing their blade at the catch, it
would have been shredded by the prop.
Geoffrey S Knauth
>> (Head of the Connecticut)
>Someone please explain to a poor ol' Brit...
Three things I'll say about the Head of the Connecticut.
The Head of the Connecticut is 3-1/2 miles, but for some reason people
are so used to 3 mile head races on the U.S. East Coast that coxswains
who call a last twenty as they swing right on that last turn have the
shock of their lives when they have to tell their crews, "Ahem, er,
actually we have another half mile to go."
About midway there is one big buoy marking a left turn, which many
people manage to get on the wrong side of or even hit. Coxswains will
often get roasted if they miss the only buoy there is to worry about.
The water is often quite rough, which adds appreciably to the
aggravation of rowers new to the experience of head racing.
Yes of course in 25 years of coxing I've managed to do some these
stupid things.
--
Geoffrey S. Knauth <gkn...@bbn.com> <http://world.std.com/~gsk/>
Melsomvik
she "could see the finish!"
That's great and all, but so could I, from the start.
Kirk
http://members.aol.com/melsomvik/index.html
Katy Cameron
the last minute to cox our senior men. Having not done the race yet myself
(that was coming later) I found it hard to judge just how far we had to go,
and thus called many more pushes for ten than I suppose was strictly
necessary. However, having been in second place (out of three boats) for
most of the race, at the 750m mark of a 1km race, the crew in third shot
past us and went on to win. My crew, having heard the whistles for the
other two crews crossing the finishing line, assumed that, since they were
passing a pontoon at the time, they must have crossed the line, and stopped
dead in the water, proceeding to have an argument, while still about 50m
from the finishing line. This was a front-loading boat, and I had no
cox-box, and no matter how hard I yelled, they yelled louder, so I had to
resort to hitting bow repeatedly until they shut up so we could finish the
race, before the next race came down. I have never been so embarrassed in
all my life!
Katy
Sisco
That's a really good one though !
Katy Cameron wrote in message <35f83...@cherry.orangenet.co.uk>...
jer...@magicnet.no_spam.net
<rowa...@orangenet.co.uk> wrote:
> I had to resort to hitting bow repeatedly until they shut up
>
Damned starboards.
John/Lyn Wylder
- At the halfway of a head race a crew that was obviously struggling wnet
by and the cox said :"come on, give me some power, I know its tough, give
me a power 5!"
- At teh start of one race a crew was ignoring the aligner and was
drifting back into my start platform. The stroke saod" I hink they are
talking to us". The cox repliet" Don't they know I am busy, I have
important things to do, I wich they would shut up."
CrewRob
too much testosterone.
--CrewRob
Bengy
>
> past us and went on to win. My crew, having heard the whistles for the
> other two crews crossing the finishing line, assumed that, since they were
> passing a pontoon at the time, they must have crossed the line, and stopped
> dead in the water, proceeding to have an argument, while still about 50m
> from the finishing line.
You'd think that a senior crew would know where the finish line is. But
then tyhey are only rowers.
The worst thing I've ever seen was a coxwain from the boat in the next
lane yelling out a move for ten & counting each stroke, my guys hear
this & know to up the pressure to hold them. We then held for another
ten & extended the lead. What's the point of telling everyone else that
you are going to do a move, they are just going to match you.
Had an argument with an umpire once about where the boat should be
pointing, man did he have a short fuse. I still got what I wanted
<snigger>.
Bengy
Jon
: The worst thing I've ever seen was a coxwain from the boat in the next
: lane yelling out a move for ten & counting each stroke, my guys hear
: this & know to up the pressure to hold them. We then held for another
: ten & extended the lead. What's the point of telling everyone else that
: you are going to do a move, they are just going to match you.
I think this is why simply calling suddenly 'Right, push off them for 10,
rating up 2... ready...go!' or something similar followed by exhortations
to get the legs down quicker rather than shouting a string of numbers is
better in a race situation.
Unless the crew in the next lanes are listening intently they won't hear
it, it is their cox who *should* notice, and if THEY don't notice then
they need a cox who is more race-attuned (although not necessarily a
different one).
All IMHO, of course.
Jon
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
j...@durge.org
http://www.durge.org/~jon/
Bengy
> it, it is their cox who *should* notice, and if THEY don't notice then
> they need a cox who is more race-attuned (although not necessarily a
> different one).
Either that or get him/her a bigger arial <snigger>.
Bengy
Mike Freidberg
<thump>
<hisss> (as the shell rides up on an ice flow all the way to the five seat).
<clatter> (as the blades of the bow five bounce off of the ice on the next
stroke).
Sh*t. Uh, back it down ... stern pair only?
MF
Alissa905 wrote in message
<199809060305...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...
>
> Things Your Coxswain Should Never Say
>
>(1) Keep going, they might catch a crab.
>(2) Just going through the umpire's wash
>(3) Faster up the slide!
>(4) (with a hint of hope) They're not going away as fast now
>(5) ...97,98,99 ...
>(6) (On the way to the start), Is that OUR race going by ?
>(7) You're going to lose, DO SOMETHING!!
>(8) Pull with your hands (!)
>(9) Heard after 20 pretty good strokes of a 25k steady state row ...
> "that's good, one minute gone."
>(10) Give me another hard one!
>(11) Two, watch the buoy.
>(12) It looks shallow here...
>(13) Pull harder guys...my dad is watching!
>(14) Take a 10! You're dying!
>(15) Let's focus on our technique now (as you cross over the 500m down
mark).
>(16) Are we at full pressure?
>(17) Weigh enough...so three can recover from his crab.
>(18) We are walking on the official's launch.
>(19) When does our race start?
>(20) Boy, those guys are fast!
>(21) Last 10 strokes to the finish! 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 okay only 5 more!
>(22) Let it run......in two.
>(23) Hold water All!!
>(24) They're going faster than us!
>(25) We are going to lose...
>(26) Hey guys, it looks terrible but feels great.
>(27) They expect me to know what `Weigh Enough' means?
>(28) Does anybody know which side the sandbar's on here?
>(29) OH SHIT!!
>(30) (Used while practicing for the Charles..) Now guys, this is the
hardest
> turn in the course, Oh Shit, Weigh'nuf!!
>(31) (While your coach screams) "SAVE THE EQUIPMENT!!!"
>(32) One, Two, Three, Seven, Five.... (during a power ten)
>(33) Skeg?? what skeg?
>(34) Take ten to focus
>(35) Last minute....last fifty strokes...power twenty...power ten..
> ..Almost There!!! (Head of the Connecticut)
>(36) Guys, I don't think this is our race.
>(37) We're not gonna let the varsity beat us, we're the novice men!!
>(38) Boy, I cant see anything in this fog.
>(39) Look at that!!
>(40) 'cmon guys, that sculler is beating us
>(41) What are these strings for??
>(42) Don't get tired...
>(43) (During one of your first hard pieces in training):
> "Come on, pull harder than you have ever pulled in your life before!"
>(44) What the hell does that sail boat think it's doing?!!
HaroldBuck
Here are a bunch of original ones I posted last year:
>
> More things your coxswain should never say (by Harold Buck)
>
> (51) Harder from port! Harder from PORT! Wait, which side is port again?
> (52) Well, guys, I've been doing some serious dieting, and I'm down to 235.
> (53) Oops, these are my reading glasses.
> (54) Did you hear the one about the boat with the broken rudder? Well, you're
> about to. . . .
> (55) Were we supposed to go around that buoy?
> (56) Hey, I just noticed that the boat keeps curving back and forth like a
> snake. Is it supposed to do that?
> (57) Four thousand meters! No breathing!
> (58) I've never felt a boat move this fast before! On a unrelated note, I've
> never been so close to the upriver side of a dam before.
> (59) (After a crab.) Weigh enough in two and look for teeth!
> (60) Umpire, do you have a replacement seat?
> (61) (On the way to the stakeboat) They want me to do what?
> (62) We're about halfway done. Does anybody else want a beer?
> (63) Two and eight, set it up!
> (64) Hey, those boats have numbers on them! Maybe we should get one for the
> next race.
> (65) The other team is using their legs. Are we allowed to do that?
> (66) I didn't know this river had crocodiles!
> (67) What does it mean when you see the flash and hear the thunder at the
same
> time?
> (68) Try not to make the bees angry!
> (69) Stay with the boat until help comes.
> (70) Okay, stern four stay with this half of the boat, bow four stay with
THAT
> half. I'll swim back and forth.
> (71) Eight, what's that glowing red dot on your chest?
> (72) Nobody said I had to use a wrench to tighten the bolts on the riggers!
> (73) Does anyone know CPR?
> (74) Keep rowing hard. I'm going to listen to my Walkman for a little while.
> (75) Well, I don't care if this is the Olympic finals; you've hurt my
feelings
> now, and you can just steer for yourselves until I get a written apology from
> each of you.
>
Lane Phillips
through the race our coxswain said this: "Starboards, weigh enough!"
Confused by this strange command, and wondering what the hell my fellow ports
were up to, I looked over my shoulder to see that no one else was rowing, they
were all ducking from or gawking at the substantial tree branch that was grazing
our decks. We ripped loose the splash guard and most of the rowers were
scratched and bruised. Despite our pathetic time of 25 minutes for a 5K race, we
still beat our team's other 8+ by four minutes, and they didn't hit anything.
Stupid novices.
Mandie
under the subject catagory. The first time was in training, our coxswain was sick
so our coach decided to get in and try.. unfortunately she has long legs so she
took up stroke seat as well! Our other experience, was with a different coach this
year, she couldn't quite fit in the coxswain seat so she perched on top of the
boat...we all tried really hard but unfortunately she has really good balance!
whats some other weird things your coxswain has done??
CrewRob
1. strip down to her bikinis... (YES YES YES!)
2. strip down to her bras.... (YES YES YES!)
3. farted in the boat... (no no no! I was stroke)
speaking of farting.... don't you all love those early morning practices
where the guy sitting behind you farts constantly and you are the one to
smell it?
--crewrob
Mandie wrote in message <3603A28B...@student.pc.wa.edu.au>...
Jon
: Weird things OUR coxswains have done....
: 1. strip down to her bikinis... (YES YES YES!)
: 2. strip down to her bras.... (YES YES YES!)
: 3. farted in the boat... (no no no! I was stroke)
: speaking of farting.... don't you all love those early morning practices
: where the guy sitting behind you farts constantly and you are the one to
: smell it?
I once farted so loud from the cox's seat, every person in the entire
eight thought that it was the man in front of them....
:-)
Koster J.A.
> I once farted so loud from the cox's seat, every person in the entire
> eight thought that it was the man in front of them....
>
> :-)
>
> Jon
Way to go! Maybe that was the time I heard a distant rumble from over the
horizon in northerly direction whilst training in Amsterdam?
Jon
: Way to go! Maybe that was the time I heard a distant rumble from over the
: horizon in northerly direction whilst training in Amsterdam?
And that was without coxbox amplification, unlike the outing I had in May
this year with my women's eight.....
Jon (okay, I won't stoop any lower than this)
Koster J.A.
Koster J.A. <a3...@cs.vu.nl> wrote:
: Way to go! Maybe that was the time I heard a distant rumble from over the
: horizon in northerly direction whilst training in Amsterdam?And that was without coxbox amplification, unlike the outing I had in May
this year with my women's eight.....
Jon (okay, I won't stoop any lower than this)