Crap-O-Mania...
Keith Scott Alan
BARF!
Reasons for the aforementioned barf:
1) The "main event". Yokozuna cheats to beat Bret Hart after being BADLY
manhandled by the former champ, and guess who comes to ringside to help
Hart...Hulk Hogan. Whoopee. Fuji says that Hogan can have the belt if he
beats YokoFatso right there and of course Hogan pins YokoKokina in less
than two seconds to win his 5th title. What a crock. To think I paid
29.95 to watch this shit.
2) Doink (with help of Barry "Repo Man/Doink 2" Darsow) beats Crush after
having been tossed around the ring like a ragdoll for about 10 minutes.
And of course the ref gets knocked out and who should appear but Darsow,
dressed up as Doink. Ironic, actually. Anyway, Doink wins on the screwjob
and now we have to listen to the morons who run the Doink culwaste the
bandwidth for the next two months.
3) Jim Ross. Ugh. He just doesn't seem to fit; I'm sorry, but Ross (in a
toga, none the less!) doing Wrestlemania just seems like sacrilage somehow.
4) Giant YawnZales. If the term "carrying the other guy" every applied, it
does here. Undertaker almost picked him up and carried him on his shoulders
for the entirety of the match, as YawnZales stumbled around the ring like
a retard with a stupid look on his face. Not only that, but he had to use
chloroform to put out Undertaker. Yeah, right. Vince's gimmicks are getting
stupider by the minute and I'm getting tired of it.
There were good moments though:
1) The MegaMorons lose. Hah! My celebrating didn't last long, though.
2) Bob Backlund loses! Hah-hah! There is justice, after all.
3) Did I mention that the MegaMorons lost? Hahahahaha!
Anyways, overall the card was a fiasco and the action lousy and gimmicks
were really bad and/or overdone. Now we have to listen to Vince MacMahon
scream "Fiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee times WWF champion.....Huuuuuu-
uuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk HoGAN!!!!!!!"
Shoot me now.
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