It's been awhile but Rev. Ray with another stupid little house report.
ECW : When Worlds Collide '96 : Philly, PA 9/14/96
In attendence for LLL : Rev. Ray, Steve the Insane, "Canadian Crippler"
Rick Gualtieri, Single J Jeff Crawford and from the Mutants of Baltimore
Useless stuff people who want results should skip :
Rick, Steve and I make the jaunt down and enjoy lunch at Tony Luke's (our
first time there). We end up running into a guy who went to grade school
with Richards and was coming to the arena to the first time to see him
wrestle. Funny as the guy said Stevie told him he was a wrestler and the
guy said "Yeah, you probably get beat up all the time" and our answer was
"yeah, that's Stevie." We end up showing up really early at the arena and
spend most of the time BSing and watching 2 different groups around his
play cards. When Natster shows up, he fills us in on the previous night's
MEWF results. Apparently Axl Rotten did both the ECW show and the MEWF
show in the same night, driving from Jim Thorpe all the way to College
Park, Maryland. We wonder how many traffic laws (and laws of Physics) he
broke to pull this off.
Despite the fact I order tickets in advance, I had to pick them up at the
door because they never mailed them out. If you're going to charge a
$5 dollar fee to order the tickets... send them out damn it.
Now onto the show, the part the people who want results will want to read.
Bob Artese doing the ring announcing, Joel Gertner (with suit jacket, bow
tie and no shirt and a chair of hair spray) is doing the time keeping. Joel
receives a few chants of "show your tits Gertner, show your tits" during the
Match #1 : The FBI (JT Smith, Little Guido and Sal Bellomo) v. The
FBI come out to the ring and JT sings a little bit of "Fly Me to the Moon"
says that a pisan died this weekend and he'd late to pay tribute to them.
That's right, his pisan Tupac. "California Love" comes over the speakers
for a little bit, then The Gangstas hit the ring and beat the hell out of
the FBI. They put away Sal with the 187 chair dive. New Jack gets the mic
and says "I told you awhile go, Gangstas don't live that long, but when
we're here, we tear shit up" or something to that effect. JT crawls into
the ring and informs us that he has a backup plan. And introduces the
Stamford Hillbillies. Out come Stevie, Meanie, Super Nova and Patricia to
"All My Rowdy Friends" by Hank Williams Jr. Stevie, Meanie and Nova are in
overalls, Stevie has a horseshoe around his neck, Nova I think has a bucket
of slop and Meanie has a moonshine jug with him. Patrica is dressed in
Daisy Dukes with her hair in pig takes and a tied off shirt. They do a
square dance type thing... until the Gangstas run out leading to :
Match #2 : The Ganstas v. The Stamford Hillbillies w/ Miss Patricia : This
one turns into another extended beating... a beating that really could have
been cut a little bit shorter as the Gangstas more or less destroyed all
three guys. A couple of funny spots which involved Stevie, New Jack and an
inflatable sheep. Patricia ended up getting slopped. Eventually, they hit
Meanie with the 187.
Match #3 : The Sandman v. Dangerous Devon Storm (w/ Bad Crew and new
manager Julio Caesar Valentino Alfonso) : Julio is supposedly Bill
Alfonso's Cuban cousin. This is bad. This is so bad I wish Damien Kane was
back. As Steve would say "There are two good reasons for Damien to be
around.... Lady Alexander". This turns into handicap match #3 of the
night. Lots of interference. Sandman started to bleed early, I think he
tried to do the crush the can on the forehead bit and it got worse as the
match went on. Eventually, Sandman gets the cane, whacks everyone. He pins
Storm with a DDT. Then, he pins each of Bad Crew following a cane shot and
a DDT. Right about now I debute my saying for the night ala Rocket J.
"And now for something we hope you really like."
Match #4 : Axl Rotten w/ D-Von Dudley v. Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/ Sign Guy and
Chubby Dudley : The special stip of this match is that if Axl loses, he has
to immediately face D-Von. They're building the team of Axl and D-Von as
two guys who aren't getting along. Not that we care. Nope, this was not
something I really liked. Axl seems to be limping a bit. Buh Buh dominates
most of the match, it ends up on the floor and D-Von chairs Axl after Buh
Buh gets away from his full nelson. Eventually, D-Von nails Buh Buh on the
floor with the chair, rolls him back in Axl gets the pin. Handicap match #4
of the night. But wait, the fun doesn't stop here... we get a good 10
minutes of USELESS brawling. Big Dick comes out of the back with a bag,
which he rips open to reveil a new scrawny little white guy Dudley who gets
into D-Von's face, only to get shoved down each time. They brawl around the
building. Buh Buh press slams the new Dudley on to top of the stage and
throws him onto D-Von on the bottom. They brawl around the arena. Back
into the ring, then out the back. This goes on like 10 minutes or so.
Why are they wasting this much time on the fucking Dudleys. Post match they
tease splitting D-Von and Axl again.
"And now for something we hope you really like."
Match #5 : D-Von Dudley v. Hack Myers : You know... they're battin' 1.000
tonight. After what I just sat through (and an announcement that *ALL* the
Dudleys were thrown out of the building) you can imagine my joy to see
D-Von come out to the ring. A brawl. The Shah!/Shit thing! Hack in
control and sets for the face driver, but D-Von converts it into a face slam
onto a chair. Chairshot, D-Von wins. Post match, Axl hits the ring and
starts beating on Hack, Whipwreck runs in and drop kicks D-Von's chair into
his face to make the save. D-Von is left lying in the ring. When the refs
revive him, he runs off the officials. Whatever. A chant of "No More
Dudleys" starts up.
"And now for something we hope you really like."
Match #6 : Louie Spicolli v. Shane Douglas w/ Francine : ECW TV Title
Louie's pretty over with the crowd. Francine is wearing an outfit which has
me signing a few bars of "Thanks for the Mammories... I mean, Memories"
NWA Fan of the Month, Brett "CactusB" Schwan offers Francine a dollar as
she walks by. This is a pretty good match. Fans really bust on Shane who
does a bunch of stalling pre-match. They worked well together and both can
wrestle. They teased Louie going for his Fireman's Carry Buster a few times
in the match, Louie goes for it early but Shane slips out of it. They
wrestle a bit. Shane gets control and does a dive over the post into the
crowd onto Louie. Francine is on the recieving end of a "She's got herpies
*clap clap clapclapclap*" chant. Louie hits a Northern Lights Suplex and a
German Suplex. He goes for the Fireman's Carry Buster again, but Shane
grabs the top rope, so Louie just dumps him out to the floor. Back in the
ring, Louie with a nice spinebuster. They go for the FCB again, Francine
pulls Shane's leg so he gets out of it. Louie chases Francine. Shane
eventually gets control. Rude Awakening neckbreaer and a belly to belly
suplex and Shane wins. Louie does a stretcher job. Shane is now doing a
Crippler gimmick. I have seen Chris Benoit. You sir, are no Chris Benoit.
This is a bit laughable. I mean, you accidentally injure someone in
wrestling and you pick up the crippler gimmick.... I don't see that as a
Interview : Lance Wright comes out to interview Shane, but Gertner tells
him to take a walk. They argue. Joel slaps Lance. Lance attacks Joel.
Shane beats on Lance and slaps him in a full nelson. Oh no, he's turned
into Billy Jack Haynes! Pitbull #2 hits the ring and runs off Shane.
Wright does a stretcher job.
Intermission : The first half of this show really dragged. Gangstas match
#2 could have been cut down a bit. The whole post match brawl with the
Dudleys could have been cut out in favor of another match (like maybe Mikey
v. Super Nova or Stevie). Pacing is bad thus far.
Match #7 : Raven (w/ Stevie, Meanie, Nova, Lori and Tyler Fullington) v.
Pitbull #2 (w/ Pitbull #1) : Raven actually seems to be OK. he's walking
around at least. However, early in the match, Pitbull #2 gives Raven a
shoulder breaker and Stevie ends up coming out of the back and taping
Raven's arm into place, basically giving him one arm for hte match. Run ins
from Raven's flunkys, all of which take a second rope blockbuster suplex
(including Meanie which was impressive). Meanie also hit the Meaniesault
on Pitbull #2. Shane runs in and attacks Pitbull #2. Francine tries to
throw powder in his eys, but hits Shane instead, who while blinded gives
Raven a belly to belly. Pitbull knocks them both down and almost gets a
double pin on them. Then some big black guy out of the back runs in. He's
beating on Pitbull #2. He goes up to the top rope... and slips, falls and
breaks something. This is legit, I heard a snap and his leg didn't look too
good. This was Joe Theismann taking that hit on Monday Night Football kind
of bad. Raven I think gets a DDT in on Pitbull and the pin. Tyler poses
over Pitbull #2, Sandman runs in and canes the flunky brigade and the downed
black guy who's in the ring still and tries to get Tyler back, but Tyler
does the Raven pose... so Sandman goes to spank him (well, it's better than
him caning him...) until Lee makes the save. Pitbull makes the save for
Handicap match #5 of the night. Damn it, when are they goes to give Raven
a reasonable clean non-screwjob run in win. It's getting REALLY old. I
kind of question going through with the angle with the guy with the leg
down in the ring, but I guess the show must go on. People do get injured in
Match #8 : Dan Kroffat & Doug Furnas v. Sabu & Rob Van Damme : Undoubtably
match of the night. It's filled with lots of spots. Sabu and Van Damme
alternate between working together and Van Damme being a prick. Rob's
really coming into his heel role well. Playing up a glory hound in certain
spots. Kroffat and Furnas were very solid tonight. It's tough to describe
the action because there was a lot of it. Sabu did a number of triple jump
moves (adding an elbow drop and a leg drop). Kroffat pulls off a number
of nice kicks and suplexes (including a cobra clutch suplex which was pretty
sweet). Van Damme is also pulling out some nice kicks. After teasing not
working together and then bonding. Furnas is set up on the outside and
Van Damme tells Sabu to put him thru the table. Sabu goes for a triple jump
move, but Van Damme shakes the ropes so Sabu crotches himself on the top
rope and then Van Damme does a senton to put Furnas through the table. Bob
Artise accidentally took a chair in the face when it gets kicked out of the
ring after a suplex done by Van Damme and Furnas, however Bob stays out for
the rest of the match. Only complaint is that they blew the ending. They
do a countdown for the ending of the match. When they announce 2 minutes
remaining, we get another 5 minutes of wrestling with a few near falls
(after the 2 minutes has obviously passed) and evnetually ends with Kroffat
getting a 2 on Sabu when the bell rings. I mean, I would have rather them
just ended it with all 4 guys just continuing to go at it whent he bell rang
instead of the obvious "1-2-time limit expires" ending. Fans call for 5
more minutes but the Can-Am's just take off. Post match Sabu and Van Damme
continue to bicker. Match of the night without a doubt. I'm hoping for
either a rematch or for the Can-Am's to face the Eliminators.
Match #9 : Taz (w/ Bill Alfonso & Team Taz) v. Johnny Smith : This was a
good match. Taz controls early, Smith makes a mid-match come back, but
eventually gets hit with the T-Bone Tazplex (which I'm pretty sure is a
blockbuster suplex w/o a bridge) and gets put away with the Tazmission.
Post match Taz says he respects Johnny Smith for facing him and shakes his
hand and opts not to give him a post match beating. Usual Taz rant about
Sabu. Steve thinks they really have to stop feeding guys to Taz.
Main Event #10 : Brian Lee/The Eliminators v. Tommy Dreamer/"Dr. Death"
Steve Williams/Terry "Bamm Bamm" Gordy (w/ Beulah) : Doc and Gordy
enter from the front entrance and hug when they both get in the ring. Then
Tommy joins them. I dunno, given my choice of people to add to a group
hug, I'd take Beulah, who is sporting a brace on one arm, over Dreamer.
This was actually a bit of a dissappointment. Doc just didn't seem on at
all. Dreamer tries wrestling some more. This one didn't break down into
an all out brawl. At one point Saturn tried to get a chair from a ringside
fan, who wouldn't give it up, so Saturn shoved him. Dreamer takes a beat
down for awhile. Faces get in control. Gordy gets Lee in the Spike. Elims
move in and pull off an angled Total Elimination on Gordy to score the win.
Post match, Doc Stampedes someone through a table (I forget who).
Overall thoughts :
Last half was good, first half was a drag. They really could have done a
lot of thinks different to pick up the pace of being of the show. This
would have helped us catch the train we missed by two minutes. So till
next time, this is Rev. Ray saying :
This note's for you.
Rev. Ray Duffy is man of few titles... but too many for this sig file.
"What I used to think was me is just a fading memory,
I looked him right in the eye and said goodbye" - NIN
home page : http://shell.idt.net/~fender : It's newer and funkier!
Ray Duffy, MiSTy #38729, Rev. of ULC, Internet F**khead, As Seen On TV
"You're not cool enough to be my friends"- Steve Richards on Los Lurkers
"I've had enough of you, Todd Pettingil!" - Sandman to Joey Styles - ECW TV
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