WCW Center Stage 7-26
Dagan LaMont Burrell
through a lot of extraneous, probably egotistical ravings to get to it.
Be warned.
The weather threw us a curve here in Atlanta today. Instead of
being sunny, hot and humid the whole time, mostly it was hot and rainy,
turning to sunny, hot and unbearably humid. The antiWCW crew was out in
force for this taping, our only noshow being Lord James Raggi who
apparently thought a concert by some group called DEATH was more
important. (Don't get me started.) In attendance were: myself, Dave the
$15 Man, Cameraman Robert, Hudson Hummingbird, his friend Lynn and her
son Matthew, who brought his new Vader and Sting action figures (it's
okay, he's cool, Vader always beat Sting). Hot topic of the time spent
in line was the Jarrett/Roadie defection from the WWF. According to
Hudson's way of thinking, Jarrett quit because he was set to lose his
title and his gimmick on the same night, and Roadie quit because without
JJ he'd get no push anyways. Later, I also heard rumors that Roadie had
failed some drug tests, but of course take that with a grain of salt just
like most of the other rumors you ever hear.
Once inside, inevitably, it came time for that moment that always
makes my skin crawl: the merchandise giveaway. Yes, as usual, the kids
were loud and stupid in their attempt to get the free stuff (Excedrin
Headaches numbers 1-1000). This time, however, the $15 Man noticed a
couple of Japanese photographers looking over the stuff before it was
handed out. According to him, one said to other "You check quality, I'll
check quantity."
Let me give you the attendance figures:
Total Paid Attendance: None
Total Attendance: 750ish
Total Attendance after the numbers are
put through the WCW attendance estimating
bullshit exaggerating function/logorithm: 30,090 with millions
trying to get in
Dave decides it's time to mock Robin, the ring attendant girl.
To describe Robin, she's around mid-30s, thinks she's 18, runs and acts
like a mark cheerleader who just had a B12 shot, and is always unbearably
cheery. Well he starts doing his imitation, and she sees him, and thinks
he's a fan, so she comes up to see him. Well, suddenly, the $15 Man
decides that we're the Robin fan club and loads of BS just roll of the
man's tongue, so by the time she leaves, she's convinced that she's just
the most over individual in the building and we're whimpering trying not
to laugh out loud and spoil it. Oh this was strange.
Dave "Zan" Pincer caught hell before he even got in the ring. We
boo this man unmercifully... until he looks up at us and then we smile
and wave with adoration. We do the obligatory "We want Gary" chant.
Flair comes out again to talk about Vader, ensure the babyface pop for
the big guy. When he leaves, Pincer says something to the effect of
"Boy, I can feel it's gonna be another wild night of WCW." Dave retorts,
"That feeling, Dave, is jock itch." Wildcat Willy comes out much to our
derision. All we can say about this mascot is this: "911! 911!"
Arn Anderson w/ Flair vs. Jobber who looks like Juan Valdez
El Hijo del Caffeinno does a nice bounce off the ropes maneuver
to escape a AA armlock, but when he tries a similar move to get out of a
hip toss, he gets whacked for his troubles with Arn looking like "Don't
try that shit with me twice, punk." Juan lookalike tries a monkeyflip
but gets a reverse atomic drop for his troubles. Dave begins giving a
local APD representative hell. This will continue ALL through the night
as they threaten each other. At one point, Dave even runs down and tries
to get Robert to snap a pic of the officer touching him so he can sue,
but it never comes off. Arn wins with the DDT. The do an interview
about the Clash where Flair lays on the floor on his back and dares Vader
to come out. He says Arn's gonna KILL him at the Clash.
Harlem Heat w/ sorta, Sherry vs. Larry Santo and TieDye Boy (?)
We never get the jobber's names anymore. Sherry is late coming
out, seemingly distracted by some new jewelry. Stevie Ray isn't wearing
the black shirt he wore to cover his injuries from teh motorcycle
accident. He works a lot better without it... well, some better,
anyways. Booker T tries a big superkick on the unknown jobber, misses by
a good 6-7 inches, but the guy sells it anyways. Santo somehow gets a
busted eye, and the Heat win with the old Hart Attack move. The $15 Man,
who's been screaming for the Hangover, really lays into "that idiot"
Stevie Ray and Booker for not giving him his favorite ending. Awwwwww.
Flyin' Brian vs. Sonny Trout
Sonny Trout comes out to a chorus of "Shave your back!" We can
only hope Brian will keep this match out of the tank. When Brian gains a
bit of the upper hand, we naturally chant "Kick his Bass!" Wildcat
Willie comes out the steam doors during this match, and we scream for
him to do a run in, which he doesn't do. Dave yells "That's okay, you're
still the man" (this coming from a man with a Tshirt with Wildcat Willie
pointing a gun at his own head), but I correct him, screaming "No, he's
the pussy." Pillman wins with a vicious, devastating, yet somehow
ordinary, clothesline? Not even the Air Pillman one. Whatever.
Max Muscle vs. The Renegade w/ Hart
Can you imagine what we expected when this one was announced?
We're steeling ourselves for a match to rival Duggan/Rocky Mountain
Thunder. Dave had seen Max at a Taco Bell earlier in the day,
and he says that Max will "wrestle a Lucha match" here tonight.
Sure. Fortunately, they've figured out that the shorter time we
actually see Renegade in the ring, the better he'll seem, so it's two
clotheslines and the big splash for the win. It took all of 20 seconds,
yet seemed somehow so much longer. We complain to referee Nick Patrick
that Renegade only won because he pulled the spandex.
Ric Flair w/ Arn vs. Alex Wright... again.
Flair comes out first, apparently only to annoy those of us who
actually retain some miniscule amounts of respect for this man. Grrr.
We do the obligatory "USA!" chant for Alex, and gratifyingly the
Natureboy almost laughs out loud and immediately goes to a lockup to
avoid guffawing. (honest.) Flair gave Wright the single hardest,
loudest chop that any of us have ever seen or heard. Unreal. Alex gets
the advantage, but Flair wrests it away with a Greco-Roman Thumb to the
eye. What a good match! Flair throws Wright out to Arn and distracts
the ref, but Arn does nothing. Only Scott notices the annoyance on
Flair's part, which later gets him a "Scott is god" from me. The essence
of this match is that Flair keeps trying to get Arn to help him, and Arn
is constantly telling him to get on with it and beat Wright, that he's
Ric Flair and doesn't need any help. (That'd be ye olde Meltzerian
psychology, eh?) Flair gets the Figure Four, reaches back for Arn, who
does nothing, and Wright turns it over. Flair goes to the top and Wright
catches him. Flair screams out, "Noooooo!" but Wright slams him off
anyways, prompting the $15 Man to say, "Dammit, that Wright just won't
take no for an answer." Flair runs out to scream at Arn, so we start our
own 10 count and count Flair out (Pee Wee Anderson does not, however.
What a slacker.) In our eyes, therefore, they're continuing to wrestle
after the match. Flair comes off the top but Alex dropkicks him in the
lower stomach, hard. Wright hits a dropkick from the top. Flair keeps
kicking out. Wright goes up again, but Flair hits the ropes, Alex
crotches himself, and Flair gets the Figure Four again. By using the
ropes, Flair gets Wright pinned in the hold. Arn's like "Finally." The
do an interview with Arn saying how Flair's been looking to him for help
all the time lately. Flair asks if Arn wants a wrestling lesson, and Arn
says "You ain't man enough to give me any lesson" and walks off. This
prompts Flair to give the great line, "Well, I guess Arn's taking a taxi
home, cause he sure ain't riding in the limo." Too funny.
Chad Brock vs. Jobber
That's this guy's debut, supposedly he's a... country music
singer. This leaves Hudson exasperated and yelling "It's been done, you
morons!" This guy Brock sucks. He's short, a bit plump, and has a buzz
cut on his balding scalp. I therefore dub him Curly, and the rest of the
match is lost in all of us doing our best Three Stooges imitations. Nyuk
Nyuk Nyuk. Oh, a wiseguy, eh? Woop woop woop woop. They tried the spot
where the jobber throw Brock into the corner and charges, Brock tries to
lift his legs over the jobber and roll through with a sunset flip, but
they naturally screw it up and end up butt to butt for about 3-4 seconds
before Brock realizes this looks bad and rolls him up for a pin. I yell
"Was it good for you?" This guy is bad.
Wildcat Willie comes out to play the basketball game for
Tshirts. This fat, bleached blonde woman wins a shirt and Dave screams
out, "That better be one size fits all!" DJ Jimmy Barrett from local
station 99X gets in the ring and talks about the ladies "real athletic
talent." What a dweeb. We chant "Greaseman! GReaseman!" Barrett says
he's got something to say to all the women at the Center Stage, so we (in
honor of our predecessors from Philadelphia) yell "Barrett's got a
woodie!" Zan Pincer announced that Kimala is up next, but as for us, "We
want the Shark Attack!" and we do that stupid hand thing Tenta does to go
with it.
Cobra vs. Jobber
That liar Pincer. Cobra is either Thunder or Lightening, so we
chant "Thunder!" at him. This kung-fu/martial arts gimmick sucks. We,
and another group away from us, start yelling every G.I. Joe quote we can
think of, ending with us doing Sgt. Slaughter imitations.
"AttennnnnnHUT!" Cobra wins with a cobra clutch into a slam sucky move.
Naturally, I being the idiot that I am, I start singing at the top of my
lungs, "Everybody was KungFu fighting!" Come on, sing along...
Johnny B. Badd vs. Red Masked Jobber calling himself The Grappler
I wonder if Lyn Denton could sue this guy for stealing his
gimmick? That cop Dave's been yelling at is down in front of us, sitting
in the aisle, talking to a woman. The $15 Man yells down at him,
"Dammit, if you want a Love Connection call Chuck Woolery!" Badd tries
the Liger flip-tope, but only hits The Grappler with his legs, and
basically ends up powerbombing himself onto the floor. BAdd wins with
the pull yourself over the top rope for a splash.
Manabu Nakanishi (Kurasawa) w/ Parker vs. Jobber
Must be nice for Nakanishi. You leave Japan as one of the worst
workers in your company, enter the U.S., and POOF you're one of the top 5
workers around. Jobber's name may have been Tony Jackson. The other
group starts singing part of Blue Oyster Cult's Godzilla, particularly
the "Ohh No! There Goes Tokyo" part. According to Hudson, they may take
Meng and Nakanishi away from Parker and put him with Sonny Ono (no, not
Yoko's brother, I asked) Bischoff's friend, you know, the ref at the
Martial Arts challenge match between Meng and Duggan (okay, I know, you
tried to forget that thing). I get to complain to Chip about them making
Nakanishi use the Fujiwara Armbar. Nakanishi wins it that damned hold,
and they do an injury gimmick with the jobber (the freaking trainer was
in the ring AS the bell rang, for christ's sake). Nakanishi again stays
in the ring meditating until Parker gets him out just as Kimala and the
Ticketmaster arrive. Ticketmaster gives them some stern looks, but they
just leave. During the wait, Hudson regails us with a story about
Parker/Robert Fuller from his days in the USWA. Apparently, Fuller has
an illegitimate son in Florida, and the boy's mother had Fuller wages in
the USWA garnished for child support, etc. Fuller gets his paycheck like
everybody, on the day of TV, and he sees it and just breaks out in a cold
sweat. Later on, he goes up to Jeff Jarrett and says, "Um, son, me and
yo daddy's got to have a talk. I can't live on $5 a week." Some
paycheck, huh? Oh yes, in the "Somebody tell them it's a work" dept.,
these morons gave the "hurt" jobber a standing ovation as they took him
out.
Kimala w/ Ticketmaster vs. Bob Starr
Bob Starr attacks the Ugandan fatboy from behind, but Kimala no
sells and whacks him with a chop. The Ticketmaster, or, as I like to
call him, the Troll cheers Kimala on in his own unimitatable fashion.
Kimala tries the reverse pin (I still think that if both nipples are
down, they should make the count for Kimala). He wins with the big
splash.
Big Van Vader vs. some poor, poor jobber
The jobber attacks Vader outside the ring, but Vader ends up
pressing him and holding him up there for about 20 seconds before
throwing him into the ring (long enough for Jackie Crockett to get about
8 different camera angles of the event). Chokeslam. Vader screws up a
powerbomb, but adds on a splash for the finish.
Harlem Heat w/ Sherry vs. Bobby Hayes and Barry Houston
Sherry comes out with the Heat, but just as they reach the ring
she just walks off. Somebody asks where Sherry is, so I tell them,
"She's bobbing on Parker." Hey, don't look at me like that. His first
name's Robert. Wildcat Willie comes out the big doors, but Dave yells
"It's Sherry!" but I correctly point out, "Nope, wrong pussy." Stevie
has another good match (read: he didn't screw up one move). Vicious
Harlem Hangover for the win. Booker has adjusted it so he jumps down
instead of up, so maybe he's trying to keep from hurtin the guys.
Renegade w/ Hart vs. some Jobber with goofy tights
20 second match. Powerslam then the splash.
Blue Bloods vs. Italian Stallion and some Jobber who looked high.
Some guy who looks homeless is holding up a sign (away from us)
for the camera man. I bet it says "Will Boo Heels for Food." I go to
get some refreshments and give the tape player to the $15 Man, who
attempts to use it to tape the officer saying something to have him fired
(according to him) but all I get is them laughing. Stallion does a nice
move where he turns an attempted Regal European uppercut forearm into a
backslide, but Bobby give him a neck breaker for his troubles. STallion
bleeds from the mouth, and we start yelling "Fire him! FIRE HIM!" Bobby
has a new hairdo with an Elvis-like pompadour in the front. Blue Bloods
win with the big knee from the top and the Regal STFish move.
DDP w/ Doll vs. Mike Davis
DDP comes out and whacks Wildcat Willie with a backhand and
Willie sells like he ran into a grapeshot cannonade. Really funny. A
big group of fans have Xeroxed "0"s for DDP, but I point out that Dave
Sullivan would think they were holding them upside down. DDP with the
... DDP finishing move. Page yells at the camera "Stop me, Renegade!
See ya at Fall Brawl!"
Buck/Slater w/ Parker vs. Bagwell and Wright (aka DiscoNazi and
Implant Boy)
Chip told us to wait around for this match. Okay, here we are.
Gee whiz, what a featured bout. I wonder if Baghead needs Brain
Implants. Hudson tells a GWF story about how the whole Atlanta based GWF
crew (aka Pedicino, Hudson, De Truth, Bagwell, Scott Levy (Raven), Craig
Johnson, etc.) are on a plane bound for Dallas. On takeoff, their plane
flies through another's jetwash, and gets way sideways before the pilot
can recover. Everyone except Bagwell made it through okay. Bagwell peed
his pants. We don't watch much of the match during this story. Sorry.
I doubt we missed much. Slater is wearing his lovely Lone Wolf howling
in the mountains motif Tshirt. Slater gets ahold of Bagwell, so I scream
out "Come on, Whack him, Dick!" Sherry comes out with a gold ring on a
chain around her neck to go along with all the new "diamonds." Parker
looks shocked, and yells at her, "Why, that's my Elvis ring! You stole
that form me like a thief in the night!" Sherry attacks Parker with a
huge kiss, but Parker just wants to get away. She chases him into the
ring (getting the DQ for his team) and when Parker won't kiss her,
she pushes him, tripping him back over Nick Patrick. She then chases him up
into the crowd and finally into a back room. If you're having trouble
imagining this, go watch an old Pepe Le Peu cartoon. It was pretty funny. I
talked with Chip afterwards, and he said they were a little afraid of having
them go into the crowd, but it came off great.
We came across a Xerox of the outline of the 8-5-95 television
show which gave away many of the matches for Fall Brawl. From what we
could gather it will include: Meng/Nakanishi vs. Sting/Hawk will be on
the Clash show. (the 8/5 show will have "and interview with Jimmy Hart
concerning Hogan's emotional interview from last week") Fall BRawl
will have: Harlem Heat vs. Buck/Slater DDP vs. Renegade
Cobra vs. Pittman Pillman vs Badd for a shot at the US title
Vader and others vs. Dungeon of Doom in War Games, and Flair vs. Arn
Well, that's all I got for ya. Hope you enjoyed it. Later on.
histo
John Petrie
> Let me give you the attendance figures:
> Total Paid Attendance: None
> Total Attendance: 750ish
> Total Attendance after the numbers are
> put through the WCW attendance estimating
> bullshit exaggerating function/logorithm: 30,090 with millions
> trying to get in
As I've said before, since it's free: Attendance... 240 million!
> prompts Flair to give the great line, "Well, I guess Arn's taking a taxi
> home, cause he sure ain't riding in the limo." Too funny.
The grave Flair is digging for himself is now officiall six feet deep.
Services to be held soon. Send flowers, only.
> Chad Brock vs. Jobber
> That's this guy's debut, supposedly he's a... country music
> singer.
With Dubba J gone, they can't be accused of copying the WWF anymore.
> Manabu Nakanishi (Kurasawa) w/ Parker vs. Jobber
See! It's Kurasawa, not Katana.
> .... DDP finishing move. Page yells at the camera "Stop me, Renegade!
> See ya at Fall Brawl!"
Worst feud ever candidate.
> out "Come on, Whack him, Dick!" Sherry comes out with a gold ring on a
> chain around her neck to go along with all the new "diamonds." Parker
> looks shocked, and yells at her, "Why, that's my Elvis ring!
The sad thing is the only one who even talks about sparks between these
two is Dusty Rhodes: And he may be right!
> will have: Harlem Heat vs. Buck/Slater
Prediction: Heat turns face, win titles back.
> DDP vs. Renegade
2:00 Renegade win. Worst match of year/ever candidate.
> Cobra vs. Pittman
OOH, look out UFC.
> Pillman vs Badd for a shot at the US title
Prediction: Pillman turns heel, wins match.
> Vader and others vs. Dungeon of Doom in War Games,
.. and the beat goes on.
> and Flair vs. Arn
Arn turn? Flair is dead!
> Hope you enjoyed it.
Actually, I did. Thanks.
John Petrie
....
anthony gancarski
I'm embarrassed to be writing this,, but can someone repost the original article in this thread. I
missed it totally, Thank you.
--
Big Tony "THE SHAFT" Gancarski-
the man of a thousand allergies.
check out parts of my novel
"what if nietzsche worked at a convenience store?"
@ http://www.well.com/user/xkot/whatif.htm
in the Coelacanth webzine.
absolutely FREE to read, download, what you will...
karl stripling
: Here we go again. This has a lot of info, but you have to sift