(Off Topic) Finally saw Phantom Menace (w. Spoiler)
David E. Powell
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Oh man, I am glad I saved the bucks I would have spent at the theater.
It isn't all bad, but the thing about the force? Man.. it was cooler
when some people had it, some didn't, and nobody knew why. The
explanation using microbes or something reeks of Highlander II....
Sean Wilkinson
"David E. Powell" <David_Po...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:75aae3b6.01112...@posting.google.com...
Yeah, that midi-chlorians thing (what, you drink bleach and suddenly
gain Force powers?) totally reeked of Trekosity, and (for me anyway) ruins
the idea of the Force being like Zen, flowing through all things. What were
they thinking? (Have they tested Wedge for midi-chlorians yet? The guy
lives through every dogfight...he's got more Force than Austin has heat.)
Oh, and Jar Jar Binks = (X-Pac + Evad Sullivan) squared.
--
- Sean
#70 on Lvubun's Top RSPW Posters List
LogicalAnomaly
some medicore PC Game.
And Attack of the Clones?
Right.
"With this new digital technology, the suckiness comes through with great
clarity."
Mike MST3K
Bond, James Bond
This movie wasn't even in the same ballpark as the first three. Lucas
was probably just after a quick buck and didnt want to spend to much
time or effort to make it as good as the others. In the future I think
they should avoid using high-tech special effects and instead use
puppets and miniature models against a blue screen like they did
originally. That's why people like those so much. Plus they had a good
storyline.
Stephen Smith
: Not only all that, but half the time I thought I was watching out takes from
: some medicore PC Game.
: And Attack of the Clones?
: Right.
That's really no worse of a title than "Empire Strikes Back" or "Revenge
of the Jedi". Part of the whole SW charm is that it had a 50's sci-fi
"schlock" feel to it.
;)
tedb512
I'm not sure if this is the way they'll go, but someone I know
suggested it and I like it a lot:
What if the midichlorians are revealed to have NOTHING to do with the
Force? What if this misconception is related to the downfall of the
Jedi, or is simply something held in the past by the Jedi council? It
would mirror our own human reliance on things we now know not to be
true: our way of understanding space, for instance, used to postulate
that it was filled with something called "ether". If this is revealed
in Episode II or III, it would (a) restore the magic of the Force for
many people, (b) establish a sort of past-world viewpoint that TPM
apparently lacked since it seemed mostly more advanced than 4, 5, and
6, and (c) would explain why midicholorians are never mentioned in 4,
5, and 6.
Any thoughts?
David E. Powell
Good points all. I also realized something else I didn't dig.
The battle with Jar-Jar's people vs. the robots was treated as almost
total comic relief. That was totally wierd after the first three. They
were buying time and creating a diversion, and holding off the bad
guys. Well, when Leia's people did that in the first movie, it was no
joke at all. In "The Empire Strikes Back," the people at Hoth got
mowed down letting transports get off. It was not treated as funny or
anything, sad maybe. In Jedi, when the Ewoks attacked, they may have
had primitive weaponry, but it was the furthest thing from a "ha ha"
segment. They basically swarmed the Stormtroopers like Zulus
overwhelming a better armed and equipped, but inferior in numbers
British force. Maybe one Ewok getting killed did get an overly
dramatic death scene, but it was far from being presented as total
comic relief. In TPM, you get Jar Jar dragging a mashed robot around,
and instead of picking up the gun, he is flipping around the robot
wreckage to shoot foes. I could also wonder as to the weaponry of Jar
Jar's people, they had great shields but only bomb launching catapults
(OK, I know they did a lot of damage) and grenades. It would have been
cool to see them do a Roman Legion thing with thier shields, and move
like a legion, firing or stabbing weapons between the shields as they
marched in ranks.
There actually could have been a good sequence at the end, with Jar
Jar's people donning armor and weapons from the robots as they fought
them, and in the end they end up looking almost like them after the
battle.. a powerful statement about the danger of violence turning you
into the evil you are trying to fight.... then in the end some of them
marching in ranks in the parade like that.... be a good dark
foreshadowing, too. (A follow up to Jar Jar's line about Amidala not
liking his people because they have an army and can fight, etc.)
Of course, I could also get into the final Space battle sequence, but
I don't want a 2000 line post here... :(
David E. Powell
Maybe.. it would give an explanation for the Sith being so hard to
find, and if Palpatine has no midichlorians, and still has the force
and surprises everyone, could make for a hell of a suprise turn....
Bean Fried Pork
The space battle at the end was totally ruined by the kid who played
Anakin Skywalker. He was so fucking annoying. I actually didn't find Jar
Jar Binks to be so bad when I first saw The Phantom Menace in theatres,
(though watching him again for a few minutes while the movie was playing
at Blockbuster made me ill), but the kid was horrible. The dialogue was
horrible. If the first Star Wars trilogy had never been made and the
Phantom Menace still came out in 1999, it would have been critically
ravaged, it would have flopped at the box office, and there would _not_ be
a sequel. There were some good points: the rolling deathbots were cool,
Samuel L. Jackson's cameo was cool, and Natalie Portman is fucking _hot_!
I would so fuck Natalie Portman. I would make her dress up as Queen
Amidala, minus the wacky hairdo, and I would take her to Genesee Valley
Park in Rochester in the middle of the night and throw her down on a
picnic table and lift up her legs and eat her pussy out. I would then
slide three, and then four, fingers inside her snatch and pump her pussy
while I yell "So did you make Darth Vader eat your snatch you fucking
pedophile?! Do you like it when 8-year-old boys fuck you raw?! Well
you're going to get a REAL man tonight!!!" I would then make her hold her
legs apart and up in the air while I stuffed an 8" Jar Jar Binks action
figure in her cunt. I would make her hold that position while I set up
the video camera and then make her still hold that position as I straddled
her luscious tits and made her smell my fingers. I would then whip out my
cock make her suck me off while I came on her face. I would then wipe off
the face paint on her forehead and then take my cum and use it to spell
out "slut" on her forehead. I would then get off of her and let her get
up, and take the Jar Jar Binks doll out of her pussy and make her put it
in her mouth and keep it there while she sucked on her own juices. I
would then take a pair of light-saber toys and have her shove one up her
ass and one back in her cooter, both of them handle first. She would then
remove whatever clothing she had left except for her shoes, and I would
walk her over to some of Genesee Valley Park's fine young male prostitutes
and make her pay them and make her beg them to fuck her raw and eat her
pussy and cum all over face, tits, hair, ass, and snatch. She would then
do this while I video taped it. The next day after cleaning her up, I
would take her to a local elemantary school and take her to the boys
lockerroom while the 7th and 8th grade junior varsity soccer team was
changing. She would let them gang bang her as long as they used condoms
and gave her the used condoms afterwards for her own special uses. I
would then take her to get her nipples and clitoris pierced, and make her
"tip" the piercing dude by letting him play with her pussy and then
letting him jerk off on her into her hair. Finally I would take her to an
RIT Star Trek club meeting where I would let the masses of geeks bukkake
her. She would then roll around in the mess they made as I videotaped it.
That is how much I hate the Phantom Menace and lust after Natalie Portman.
-Beans
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Krusty
> That is how much I hate the Phantom Menace and lust after Natalie Portman.
Frankly, that whole thing you wrote, topped off by that...it's just a little
disturbing...man, you got issues huh Beans?
Brian Glen Palicia
If you have read George Lucas' earlier versions of Episode 4, there
was a whole lot more technical jargon that he was persuaded to drop
in the final script. He had crystals that amplified the power of
the Force for instance. All of that was removed and the Force was
left as this mysterious power.
Lucas is just going back to his instincts and adding technical
jargon. So I doubt the midichlorians are fake.
Prior to the filming of Episode I, Lucas also said his favorite
aspect of the trilogy were the Ewoks. He liked the warm fuzzy
cute critters. That's why there was a lot of Ewok-related
material after ROTJ including several spinoffs. Jar Jar Binks
is just his effort to recapture what HE liked in them.
The difference is the storyline in Episode I wasn't edgy at all.
Heck in Episode 4, Han Solo essentially shoots Greedo in cold
blood and is the GOOD guy. Such a complex character has
absolutely no place in the star wars universe we were offered
in "The Phantom Menace." In fact by ROTJ Han Solo was a mere
shadow of himself, having gone from mysterious mercenary to
a meek pushover. But that is what Lucas wants.
Bean Fried Pork
Yeah, I do got issues. I have a sick addiction to bondage porn
stories. I just can't get off unless I think about something really
twisted. Maybe it's the Dexedrine that ate my libido away, or my failed
life that ate away at my soul, but I'm incredibly jaded.
I'm not even a big Natalie Portman fan, but once I get going I can't
always stop myself from posting stuff like that.
Maybe it's just my frustrations towards women and towards myself that I
vent out through twisted fantasies. I also have this whole alien
abduction phobia, but that's another story.