[RESULTS] ECW Arena 5.11.96
John Dudeck
Ok, here's the results, kids:
Show starts up without a Joey Styles intro...
El Puertoricano vs. Damien 666: Not bad for a startup, lots of nice
high spots by both & Ubas gets a chance to work harder than usual. Ubas
keeps doing the Sabu "squat down & point upward" thing & Damien mocks
him & does the same quite a few times. Damien reminds me of Kabuki
(especially cause he grabbed someones beer & did the "mist" spray thing)
but kinda looks more like Kendo Nagasaki with the evil face paint &
squat build & all. Anyway, Sabu comes barrelling out & mauls both guys,
so I guess it ended up being a no-contest.
Buh Buh Ray Dudley & Dee Von Dudley (w/Sign Guy, DW in a wheelchair, &
Chubby) vs. "Dangerous" Devon Storm & "Godfather Of Extreme" Damien Kane
(with Lady Alexandria). People don't go as nuts for Bubba as usual, but
he still does the stutter thing. He goes "My name is... Buh Buh... Big
Tits!". Loud pop. Then Lady starts teasing him by opening her shirt &
all. Usual "Bubba's got a woody" chant starts, he starts looking down at
his pecker, then looks up at Lady A, then looks down, etc until he gets
clobbered by Kane. Match starts up. Mostly a four way brawl until
something happens. I think Dudleys got DQ'd because Dee Von hit the ref
or something. He looks pretty mean. At the end, he starts bossing around
Buh Buh & Buh Buh stands up to him, pushing match ensues, then Buh Buh
leaves and tells Dee Von that he's going to tell Big Dick what happened.
Full Blooded Italians (JT Smith & Little Guido) vs. Axl Rotten & "The
Shah" Hack Meyers. Boring match, but JT just plain RULES. He can
generate TONS of heat, especially in S. Philly. He goes up & says he's
going to serende us, then breaks into "Fly Me To The Moon". FBI do the
"comb each others hair & make sure we look ok" bit & the match finally
starts. Pretty boring, mostly 4 way brawling until Guido gets the pin on
Hack when JT holds down Hack's legs from outside the ring. One funny
thing that happened is that JT apparently DID get a woody during the
match, which the mutants were quick to pick up on & start a "JT's got a
woody" chant, which prompted JT to look down, then walk over & pick up
the mike & say "Pretty impressive, eh?". ROTFL...
Gartner gets on the mike & says that the voting for Sandman's opponent
is a draw between Pitbull #2 (huh?) & Raven. Todd Gordon comes out and
says the fans will see both, it's now a 3 way dance.
"Lionheart" Chris Jericho vs. Mikey Whipwreck. Not bad, some good spots,
lots of near pins. I'm kind of hazy at this point but I think the end
comes when Jericho does the belly-to-back suplex into a bridge. I could
be wrong though. Afterwards, they shake hands & egg the crowd on to
cheer for each other.
Three way match between Sandman, Pitbull #2, & Raven. Raven comes out
first, with Stevie, The Meanie, & Miss Patricia. Patricia seems really
enamoured over The Meanie, cheering his every move. Stevie & Meanie do a
strip tease act & take off their cutoffs & toss em into the audience &
just hung out in their bikini briefs. Stevie has a "NELSON" (remember
them?) half shirt on. ROTFL. Next is Pitbull #2, accompanied by Pitbull
#1 (with his arm in a sling) & Francine. The catfight is being teased
hard. Finally, Sandman comes to the ring with 2 Cold & Missy Hyatt. All
out brawls & catfights are teased heavily. Finally it starts with the 3
locking up. First elimination comes when Raven helps Pitbull #2
superbomb the Sandman. Pitbull #2 goes for the pin, Raven runs over &
boots him in the back of the head & pins him instead. I forget how the
second fall came but Raven eventually pinned Sandman. Afterwards,
Pitbulls come out & shake hands & hug Sandman. They get him a beer from
the audience (a black and tan pounder) & offer it to him. He looks at it
& says "fuck this shit, black & tan", & whips it into the audience on
the production ledge side. So Pitbull #2 finds another beer, like a Bud
Dry or something, opens it, chugs some & offers the rest to the Sandman,
which he gladly takes. Then he says since the 'Bulls shared a beer with
him, he'll share his woamn with them". He grabs Missy by the hair &
forces her to kiss 'Bull #2. They start making out & Francine runs in,
for catfight #137. Sandman freaks & says get her off, eventually both
teams pull the women apart. Sandman yells "I offer you my woman & this
is how you treat me? Huh?" & then leaves angrily. 'Bulls look confused.
Taz vs. Beef Wellington. Beef is announced as being from "Stu Hart's
Dungeon". He kind of looks like Pitbull #2, but not as cut & not as
mean, which basically means he a big mean bald guy. Taz basically
crushes him after a few minutes & gets the Tazmission. He eggs the crowd
to chant for Sabu, which they do, but to no avail, as usual.
Intermission...
2 Cold Scorpio vs. Shane Douglas for the TV title. Someone threw in a
"WWF" shirt which Shane wipes his ass with. The crowd is pretty evenly
split, with Shane being more on the heel side. Shane gets control early,
but Too Cold takes control towards the end. He drops a few moves from
the top rope & goes for the pin, then pulls Douglas up before the 3
count. He does this about 2 more times. End comes after about 27-28
minutes when 2 Cold goes for a top rope move, Shane cuts him off, & then
gives him the belly to belly from the top rope & gets the 3 count. New
TV champ, SHANE DOUGLAS! Afterwards, Shane does a speech along the lines
of: "You know, I've been in the ring with some of the greats: Ricky
Steamboat (medium pop), Terry Funk (huge pop). I've worked with the
greatest bookers like Paul Heyman, promoters like Tod Gordon, etc, & I
always pride my self on being the best in the world, but tonight I'm #2.
I'm one step below 2 Cold Scorpio". (loud pop) He goes on to say that 2
Cold is the greatest TV champ of all time & he is the new champ, & as a
show of respect from one great wrestler to another, he wants 2 Cold to
strap the belt on him. 2 Cold gets the belt, starts to put it on him,
then pulls the belt off & nails Douglas with the belt. He drops a few
"bombs" off the top rope & then puts a chair on Douglas then drops
another bomb & leaves to a huge pop.
Sabu vs. Rob Van Damme. Another long match with plenty of near falls,
like the last. End comes when Sabu has RVD down on the mat, sets up a
chair and does the running-of-the-chair into the ropes to a springing
moosault (the move he used last time to beat RVD) but RVD gets his knees
up & then does a series of aeriel moves, finally doing the split legged
moonsault to score a clean pin. What?!?!? I can only recall Sabu doing
the job about 2 other times (both title losses) & maybe once to Cactus
Jack in the 3 or so years I've been watching ECW, & I don't think ANYONE
expected him to job to RVD of all people. So ref hands Sabu the mike to
say I respect you, but Sabu just crawls away. Joey Styles comes out &
calls out RVD for an interview. RVD says that he has no respect for
Sabu. I guess ECW is building him up as a heel & trying to add some
personality into him now. Fonzie comes out & congratulates him & walks
back to the dressing room with him. A few minutes later Sabu comes back
to the ring with Paul E. Dangerously & PED tells RVD to come back out
since Sabu had the courtesy to come back out. Sabu grabs the mike & says
"I respect you Rob Van Damme" & holds out his hand. RVD slaps his hand &
grabs the mike & says "not only do I NOT respect you Sabu, I think
you're a piece of shit!" & then Fonzie & Taz come out & tease a Sabu
confrontation. But that's about as far as it went because RVD, Taz, &
Fonzie all laugh & then leave.
Tommy Dreamer & The Gangstas vs. Brian Lee & The Eliminators. Pier 6
brawl all over the arena from the get-go. Here's the interesting spots:
Brian Lee THREW Dreamer off the production ledge. He went FLYING & had
to hurt himself. Dreamer juiced. Kronos with an AWESOME double backflip
with the second backflip sending him flying over the tope rope into the
audience. Beulah & Kimona came out after Stevie Richards tried to
interfere. They hit him with a cinderblock in the groin (big "OH!" from
the crowd) & then dragged him by his PENIS back to the dressing room.
Lots of broken tables & even a broken barrier - the metal ones! Some
interesting weapons: pots, baking trays, a small shovel, & A COFFEE
MACHINE! End comes when New Jack gets the pin on Saturn, I couldn't
really see how it happened though.
All in all, a good night. Glad they saved all the excitement for last,
as some of the matches were WAY too long. We didn't end up getting out
til about 12:30 or so. Til next time...
John