[ECW] Live with Los Lurkers Locos : 4/13

[Ray Duffy]

ECW - Live with El Lurker Loco - Queens, NY

Greetings everyone, Rev. Ray Duffy with another stupid little arena report.
This time out, it's a first. The first Queens show I've got to where it
wasn't 14 below or snowing out. It was a nice day out (in the 60's I think)
so I didn't mind showing up early this time. I make it to Queens around
4:30, tickets go on sale at 5pm. That's 5pm Paul E. time, which means we
they go on sale at 5:45. I get a general admission seat. I'm happy.

In attendance for Los Lurkers Locos... me. That's it.

I spend some time BSing in line with some people in line. I end up speaking
with Chris (no last name) and his pal Ray on line and end up handing out
with them. They recognized my shirt and knew who I was. See, dorky t-shirts
pay off. Fuck the American Express Card.

The crowd for this show is pretty small. Usually the place is jam packet,
but tonight it was full... but not filled like they usually are. Pre-show
the entranceway curtain and lighting bar falls over. Show kicks off around
8:30 I think. I sit with Chris in Ray in the bleachers. We have the
Mean-ettes (3 girls with the Blue Meanie glasses make up on) behind us.
While sitting in the bleachers, Axl Rotten comes over. New Jack and Mustafa
are hanging out in the corner as well. Also lumbering around in the crowd
is Big Val Puccio. The sound system sounds sort of crappy, so when the ring
announcer comes out, there's virtually no crowd heat.

Match #1 : "The Extreme Italian Stallion" JT Smith & Damien "Little Guido?"
Stone v. The Dudleys (Buh Buh & Big Dick) w/ Sign Guy & DW in a hospital
Bed. JT comes out in an Italian Flag, which he drapes over the
ring announcer. JT says he found out he's got a cousin, and his cousin
is "Little something" I think it was Guido, but it's Damien Stone. They
give each other a kiss on each cheek... isn't that the Kiss of Death?
JT starts to sign "Fly me to the Moon". Dudleys come out. DW is
wheeled out in a hospital bed and is sitting out at ringside. Buh Buh
starts to say his name when a black guy with white glasses runs in. He's
wearing overalls and not quite a tie dyed shirt. He tells us that "we
know that you're Buh Buh" to Buh Buh, "We know you're Big Dick!" to Big
Dick, "We know you're DW!" to.... Sign Guy? Anyway... he's the new
Dudley... I thought he said his name was Tyrone Dudley, I heard later
that he's Devon Dudley... Anyway, until I got official word.... he's
Koko Dudley :-) Koko Dudley announces there are 3 rules, I forget the
first one, but the last one is "Don't Fuck with the Dudleys". Koko
Dudley starts getting medieval on Damien Stone. OK, maybe he's Ahmed
Dudley :-) Anyway, a pretty short match, the match lasts about
3 minutes when Ahmed Dudley goes in the ring and beats the shit out
of JT with Big Dick's crutch... and then beats the shit out of ref Pee
Wee Moore. Result, Dudleys' DQed. Looks like Ahmed Dudley has stuff to
work out in therapy. The beating of JT & Stone continues for a bit.
Buh Buh dances a little post match, then the Dudleys leave. Opinion :
the brawling and stuff dragged on too long.

Match #2 : Billy Black v. "The Shah" Hack Myers : This was a surprise. I
thought Hack was out with a shoulder injury. I did notice he seemed to
only be using one arm during the match, so maybe he's wrestling hurt.
They go back and forth a bit. Black misses a moonsault at one point.
He also blew an attempted flying bulldog. Match ends with Hack doing the
leg drop across the ropes and putting Black away with the top rope face
driver.

Match #3 : The Eliminators v. Joel Hartgood & El Puerto Ricano : Apparently
the number 1 contender Mulkey brothers couldn't make it... so the Elims hit
the ring and beat the shit out of the Job Squad. A pretty quick match,
but Elims show some nice moves as always. Some nice kicks, the both did
Asai moonsaults (in the ring). The hit both guys with Total Elimination
and get the double pin. Saturn calls out the Gangstas, who jump from the
crowd with a can full of weapons. The brawl doesn't last long before
the locker room clears to hold the Gangstas back. The Gangstas get hand
cuffed and moved out.

Match #4 : Raven w/ Kimona Wanalaia, Blue Meanie & Dancin' (CHA-CHING!)
Stevie Richards v. Damien 666 (from WAR, AAA and FMW) : Meanie comes out
and starts impersonating Shawn Michaels, Richards comes out in a catcher's
mask... he's playing Big Daddy Stevie tonight as they do the
Michaels/Diesel high five, then the poses. Damien runs out and does the
Hogan hand to the ear. Ring announcer Joel Gertner announces Damien in
both Spanish and Japanese (see because he works in Japan and Mexico! Get
it! Ah, nevermind...) Out of the back runs Meanie's "Own Personal
Beulah". She's got a can of whipped cream. She kisses Meanie, sending
flat on the back, she then sprays a bunch of cream on him... you get the
idea. In other words, things you didn't want to picture the Meanie
involved in. This is proof that God hates me... even the Meanie is
getting a chick before me... this sucks. Anyway, something happens and
Raven hits Kimona... then Stevie puts the boots to her. Kimona is carried
off. Stevie tells us that this is what happens to people who disappoint
Raven. Apparently, Stevie is the Enforcer of Raven's clan. Stevie
badmouths Damien and asks him if he even understands what he's saying.
Damien responds by flipping him the bird. A so-so match. Damien tries
to do a few spots, but they seem to be done a bit slow, so they didn't
look to good. I've been told part of Damien's gimmick is that he
impersonates other wrestlers. The fans call for Sabu, so he does the
Arabian Facebuster. They go back and fort a bit, Damien slams Raven
on a chair, climbs to the outside, yells "Muta!" he hits a moonsault,
Raven kicks out. Damien goes up top for another move, misses it. Raven
with the DDT and the win. An OK match. Damien does his Onita
impersonation post match and leaves. I was expecting a little more out
of Damien, however, I will give him another chance before I pass
judgement. He seemed ok, just a little off. I was kind of hoping the
Fab's would do the Fargo Strut and Damien would then imersonate them...
or that he'd do the Stevie Kick or something.

Match #5 : Shootfighting Rules : Taz w/ Bill Alfonzo & 4 lackies in Taz
jackets v. "Lionheart" Chris Jericho w/ Tod Gordon : Some karate guy
is the referee. Bob Cat Mollineux announces that (in a Bill Alfonso
annoying voice) According to the New York State Athletic Commission
(normal voice) Bill has to be handcuffed to Tod as according to the
contract he signed. Hmmmm... if I'm Tod, the first thing I wanna do
is get handcuffed to the guy who's beaten me up a few times while the
guy he manages has a bunch of flunkies sitting at ringside. The Shoot
fight is a good match, nice solid moves and reversals used. But then,
Jericho goes for a kick that misses and downs the ref. Taz's flunkies
help get Alfonzo free he comes in the ring with a chair and hits
Jericho. Taz slaps the Taz-mission on Jericho (while he's practically
in the ropes) Ref sees it, calls for the bell. Ref then sees the
chair and picks it up, he asks if it got used... and then hits Tod
Gordon (who got in the ring) with it. He slaps the Tazmission on
Tod. Then post match, Alfonzo pays off the ref. They leave, ring crew
help out Tod and Jericho. I was disappointed with the ending. I would
have liked to have seen this one end cleanly.

Match #6 : Shane Douglas v. ????? : Shane comes out and announces that
Van Damme apparently has a broken wrist, so he's issuing an open
challenge to anyone in ECW to face him. I was secretly hoping the
Bruise Brothers or Gangstas would take the challenge... :-) But, Meanie
runs out. Chris, Ray, myself and the Meanettes start a pretty loud
"Fuck 'em up Meanie, Fuck 'em up!" chant. Shane tells him no offense,
but Meanie's not the toughest they got. Axl Rotten runs out and bats
Meanie. Axl takes up Shane's challenge. Axl works pretty stiff. A
fair match, Shane wins with the belly to belly. Shane joins the crowd
in chanting for Axl post match. OK, would have rather had a healthy
Stevie (which was supposed to be a falls count anywhere match) or
Van Damme, but still pretty good.

Intermission : So far, things feel a bit dead. The consensus is that the
card really needs to pick up.

Interview : Joey Styles w/ Shane Douglas. Joey starts out by mentioning
that someone (Heenan?) was bragging about being voted "best announcer"
in WCW. Joey then proceeds to run down the announcing skills of Mongo,
Eric and Dusty. Out comes Shane. He tells Joey that he's the New
Shooter after those comments. Shane talks about Kimona getting laid out
by Raven. He said she is going to tell him all the little secrets about
Raven to help him win the title next week in Philly. I'm personally
hoping it's a trap...

Match #7 : The Bruise Brothers & Brian Lee v. Tommy Dreamer & the Pitbulls
w/ Francine & Beulah : This one broke loose as soon and Dreamer and
the Pitbulls hit the ring. Lee stills looks a bit like the Undertaker
without his hair dyed blond again. This one goes all over the building,
they brawl into the crowd. They brawl over to the bleacher, they brawl
over the bleachers. They brawl behind the bleachers. They brawl to the
outside, they brawl back into the ring. The Bruises and Lee end up
getting the win. One Bruise holds up a chair in front of each Pitbull
as the other kicks it. Lee gets in ring, holds a chair on each side of
Dreamer's head and the Bruises do the double sandwich chair kick to the
head. Post match, Raven runs in and works over Dreamer. Beulah gets
in the ring to make the save (DUH! What the hell was she thinking...)
but Francine gets her out of the way and ends up taking a Bruise
Brother boot to the face. Pitbulls eventually get in the ring for the
save. The trio beat up on Raven, they put a table in the ring and then
Dreamer has the Pitbulls superbomb him onto Raven and through the table.
Raven carted off post post match brawl.

Match #8 : Mikey Whipwreck v. Sabu : Very good showing by both guys. Lots
of back and forth action. A couple of table spots done. A very solid
match. Summary of the end, Mikey with a top rope bulldog on Sabu,
Sabu kicks out. Mikey gets a chair, sets it up in the corner. Tries for
another Bulldog but Sabu blocks it. Mikey put on the top rope. Sabu
runs, hops on the chair, lands on the top rope, does frankensteiner off
the top rope for the win. A very good match, both guys shake hands
post match. The match had a bunch of the typical "I can't believe he
just did that" Sabu spots :-)

Main Event Match #9 : Three Way Dance : Sandman & 2 Cold Scorpio w/ Missy
Hyatt v. The Head Hunters w/ Damien Kane & Lady Alexander v. The Gangstas
Sandman and Missy come out first. Fans chant "Show your tits", so missy
shows them her "Budweiser" bikini top. They initially start to play the
Head Hunters music, but it stops and then 2 Cold comes out. 2 Cold and
Missy dance. 2 Cold threatens the sound guy for fucking up and not
playing his music. Fans chant "You fucked up" at the sound guy. The
Head Hunters come out with Damien. Lady Alexander is wearing a fishnet
outfit tonight. Post card, "CactusB" Brett told me he didn't like
Lady Alexander until he saw that outfit :-) Head Hunters and Scorp/Sand
brawl around. Scorpio does a moonsault out to the floor. In the ring,
the Head Hunters set up Sandman on a table, one does the moonsault, but
it didn't look like he hit Sandman squarely (he hit more with his chest
than his stomach or legs, so it looked like he took a mean bump, the
table didn't break and it tipped over. The Gangstas charge out from the
fire exit near us and hit the ring... with their handcuffs still on (I
think attached still) they immediately jump on the Head Hunters and
start choking them out. Now, I don't think the Head Hunters were ever
pinned, but it seems like they just walked off from this match as the
Eliminators run in and attack the Gangstas. They work them over, mock
their pose and leave. 2 Cold and Sandman try to set up for the finish,
but the Gangstas eventually regain control and win the match by hitting
the 187 on 2 Cold with the a chair. As I said, I don't recall the
Head Hunters getting pinned (Brett said he missed this as well), so if
they just walked off, that was LAME!

Post thoughts : A pretty good show. The early part of the show just wasn't
that spectacular. I would have like a clean finish for the shoot fight.
The last 3 matches saved the card from being a disappointment.

After the show, I hit Burger King and get a soda, I BS with Brett and
his pals for a little bit. According to Brett, someone was legit carried
out to an ambulance during the show, he wasn't sure if it was Kimona or
Jericho. I head off into the moonset to catch a train to catch a bus home.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm lousy at making transfers because I
missed at least one on the way home... atleast this one didn't result in me
getting caught in NYC for 5 hours :-)

So till next time, this is Rev. Ray saying....

This note's for you.

Get Well Stevie!
--
Ray Duffy, MiSTy #38729, Rev. of ULC, Internet F**khead, As Seen On TV
"You're not cool enough to be my friends" - Steve Ricards on Los Lurkers Locos
"I've had enough of you, Todd Pettingil!" - Sandman to Joey Styles - ECW TV
http://soho.ios.com/~fender/lll.html : The Los Lurkers Locos Homepage!