[ECW] ECW Arena results--August 24, 1996
Edmund J. Terrill
Well, having just moved to a new apartment and not having the comp
hooked up, I'm a bit late, but here are the results from August 24 at
the ECW Arena. Oh, and in case you're wondering who "eterrill" is
above, ignore that. There's three of us on AT&T WorldNet and since it's
in his name, he gets the address. But you remember me as Sewer Urchin.
Now, don't delete yet if you're still pissed about my complaint-filled
review of Hardcore Heaven...the show was GREAT on TV and videotape
without all those delays. But let's talk about this show and get
results down for...ummmm...hmmmm...wow, they actually didn't give this
one a name, did they? Well, let's call it the BACK-TO-SCHOOL BASH '96.
Just a quick question...if the ticket-takers are gonna yell at everyone
to line up properly outside, why isn't there just some sort of barrier
set up outside so we CAN all line up?
OK...on to the show. Started pretty close to on time!
MATCH #1--LOUIE SPICOLI defeated DEVON STORM. Storm's not bad, but
unline Sabu, there's no grace to most of his flying moves. Spicoli was
the crowd favorite, since Storm was with everyone's favorite question of
ECW (i.e., "Why is he hired?"), Damien Kane. Storm hit an early plancha
to the outside but was soon annihilated by some Spicoli chairshots that
echoed probably across the street. Spicoli won with his awesome
"fireman's buster", as Joey Styles calls it. Afterwards, Kane--for
about the 1000th time in his ECW career--offered his services to
Spicoli. Spicoli responded with TWO fireman's busters on Kane. They
looked like they'd kill him. That is one awesome move. Good opener.
MATCH #2--MIKEY WHIPWRECK defeated LITTLE GUIDO. The FBI came out with
two hideous women who were trying just a bit too hard. Smith and the
Guidos and Bellomo (who looked like a pimp) lost their females when
Little Guido said he spent all the money. JT summed it up best after
awhile and said "Enough of this bullshit, let's get down to business."
At one point during the bout, Mikey kicked Big Guido (who is HUGE) over
the railing, then prepared a dive. He either missed the big guy or
deliberately cleared him to hit someone else; I couldn't see. Either
way, Big Guido then left ringside. The match ended with a missed
top-rope hurricarana that appeared to legitimately injure Mikey's knee.
After a follow-up top-rope elbow, Mikey got the pin but was then helped
out. Mikey seemed to be in excruciating pain, tearing the kneepad and
tights off to expose the knee. He was out later though and appeared to
be OK.
MATCH #3--BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY/BIG DICK DUDLEY defeated AXL ROTTEN/D-VON
DUDLEY. This match was the total absolute surprise of the night. Axl
has a new look a la Marilyn Manson. That band totally creeps me out,
and seeing Axl in fishnet stockings and black hair and barettes et al
totally creeped me out just as much. D-Von yelled at the crowd...his
speaking still needs work. He might as well just have carried a sign
that said "Cheap heat, boo me." Either way, Buh Buh bolted out with Big
Dick and the four of them totally tore through the building. Buh Buh
and D-Von were beating the living piss out of one another, with the
other two heading up the aisle. Total, insane, awesome brawl. Buh Buh
splashed D-Von through a table at ringside. Later, Buh Buh had D-Von
down on the middle stage. Buh Buh climbed to the top stage, then
climbed onto one of the giant speakers, and came off with a splash. I
don't know HOW far he fell, but it sure as hell was a long time before I
heard him land. The match ended when Buh Buh pinned Axl. All four held
their own, although Buh Buh and Axl certainly didn't need to prove they
could brawl. An awesome all-out fight; best Dudley match I've seen.
It's good to see Axl back in an important role. After the bout, Axl and
D-Von teased a split, but Axl suddenly gave the universal sign to the
fans, as if to put the final stamp on his turning heel.
MATCH #4--LORI FULLINGTON defeated LADY ALEXANDRA in a catfight.
Personally, and you can say I'm as full of shit as you want to say, but
I don't care about seeing a catfight on a wrestling card. As it turns
out, I really didn't. Missy came out with the Sandman and poorly did
the beer chug/spit thing. Lori was sitting in the corner like Raven
does. Stevie and others were out, but no Raven. Ring announcer Joel
Gertner refused to let the match occur due to Missy's broken right arm.
He asked Missy to raise "your right, not your left, arm", and when she
did, he said, "I must say, I am impressed." (*high-five, Joel!*) At
any rate, Missy weakly caned Joel and the Meanie and one or two other
people. Stevie then got on the mic and reminded us all of his sexual
harassment suit against Missy, but he said he would drop it right here
and now if she would denounce the Sandman. Shockingly, she did!
Sandman then caned her good. She was carted out, and I guess Missy's
gone from ECW. (YES!) So then Stevie proclaimed Lori the toughest
woman in ECW, but out came Damien Kane (boy, did he recover) and Lady
Alexandra. To make a long story short, those two women fought. Sort
of. I think it lasted eight seconds before Stevie loaded up Raven's
boot (no, Raven wasn't wearing it at the time) and clocked Alexandra.
Lori got the pin, and the catfight was over. Poor, lame, forgettable.
But at least Missy's not with Sandman anymore.
MATCH #5--TERRY GORDY defeated BRIAN LEE in a Badstreet match. It
lasted 7:01 with about 0:31 of it in the ring. The rest was
building-wide, and most people saw none of it. Can't say whether it was
good or not...guess I'll see it on TV. Most of the fans weren't pleased
, however, that they couldn't see the bulk of the bout.
MATCH #6--At this point, Joey Styles interviewed Rob Van Dam. RVD said
that ECW had an opponent for him tonight, someone who has beaten him in
the past. RVD said it couldn't be 2 Cold Scorpio, because he's beaten
him. Couldn't be Sabu, because he's beaten him. Out came DOUG FURNAS!
Sadly, most of the Arena fans didn't know him. That pissed me off.
RVD laughed and said he was pinned by him in a tag-team match, never
singles. They then battled. Good match with power moves by Furnas and
martial arts and aerial warfare by both men. It didn't seem like Furnas
was really able to show what he could do, though. RVD got the win and
afterwards actually offered his hand to Furnas, saying "You're the
shit, Furnas!" Furnas did the ol' handshake-shortarm clothesline thing.
RVD was stretchered out. Furnas got over, but as I said, he didn't
give away all of what he could do yet. :) Next show.
At this time, ECW continued their tradition of blatantly lying to the
fans about how long the intermission would be. Bob Artese said 10,
which I interpreted as 35. Sure enough, 33 1/2 minutes. Just say
"intermission" without a time, is that so hard? Numbers can be
dangerous...Pepsi put a number of Pepsi Points on their fictional jet
(700 million) and now someone's suing because he sent in 700 million and
gets no jet.
MATCH #7--TOMMY DREAMER and TAZ went to a "no contest". Awesome
bout...I was excited for this one. Taz came out with his entourage and
said we weren't going to see any chairshots or tables, we were just
gonna see Dreamer stretched. As Dreamer came out (no Kimona
again...maybe we dumped two useless people in one show?), Taz jumped him
and viciously chaired him and rammed his head into the railing. The
match itself saw good technical and brawling wrestling. Solid bout.
Towards the end, referee John Moore grabbed a chair from Taz, so Taz
suplexed him. Dreamer blocked Taz's attempted top-rope suplex and then
dove out onto the entire Team Taz! He then slid into Bill Alfonso and
the chair he was carrying, which knocked Fonzie clear over the railing
and also appeared to give him a shiner above his right eye...it shut
almost immediately. Dreamer slid into a table that clocked all of Team
Taz as well. Finally, though, Taz caught Dreamer and hardway Tazplexed
him, then stretched him out. As wrestlers tried to make the save, the
Eliminators and Brian Lee came out to beat them up. Lee put the spike
on Gordy again, this time causing Gordy to "bleed" from the mouth. This
was a heel massacre like I've never witnessed. Wrestler after wrestler
that came out got Tazplexed, Total Elimination-ed, and/or Prime Time
Slammed (did we get all the names? :) TE, BTW, is the best team
finisher I've ever seen), from Pablo Marquez to Bad Crew (BOTH hit with
Total Elimination at once) to some Dudleys and on and on. Total
carnage. Gordy was stretchered out as if he was in a coma again.
MATCH #8--PITBULL #2/SANDMAN defeated RAVEN/SHANE DOUGLAS in a double
dog-collar match. It pains me to see Gary...you wish you could help
somehow, but you're helpless. Sandman came out and said he had no wife,
no son, no manager, and apparently no partner, saying PB2 was injured
last night in Reading. (Strange, considering PB2 wasn't even there.)
So Sandman said to Raven and Douglas to come out and take his life if
they wanted. They came out and beat up Sander for seven or eight
minutes before PB2 ran out with a neckbrace on. All but PB2 bled.
Francine has good heel presence at ringside, and Douglas is the most
HATED man in ECW. That's a feat, folks. PB2 pinned Raven for the win.
Afterwards, Raven pulled Tyler in front of him (Tyler is VERY GOOD at
his role...he's HOW OLD???!!!). Sandman wouldn't cane his son despite
the chant of "Hit the kid". Tyler stoically went to his dad and
demanded the cane. Tyler got it and caned Sandman, before Raven
clotheslined Sander. Raven and company left.
MATCH #9--THE GANGSTAS defeated THE ELIMINATORS in the Natural Born
Killaz kage...er...cage match. I'd heard this to have weapons in the
cage, then I heard on the cage, then Bob says they'll be allowed in the
cage. Whatever the case, four of Undertaker's Druids moonlighted at the
Arena this night, each one carrying some sort of weapon. One a chair,
one a keyboard, one a guitar, and one a trash can. Both teams battled
the first few minutes outside the cage, including Saturn diving off the
top of the cage to the floor in an insane move. When they were all in,
they were all bleeding in no time. The crowd got a bit antsy and wanted
the weapons, so New Jack got them. The keyboard was a fun prop as New
Jack and Kronus played with it. Saturn came off the top of the cage I
don't know HOW many times. New Jack went to get the guitar, and as the
Druid climbed the cage to give it to him, he really DID give it to
him...right over the head! He unmasked, revealing Shane Douglas!
Douglas cheerleaded the Elims on, but it was to no avail. After Saturn
climbed to the top once too often and got pushed over the cage and
through a table, Kronus was put down for the count by the Gangstas,
still champs. More of the teased breakup afterwards.
Good show. Not fantastic, but by no means horrible. Next Arena event
is September 14, and two matches announced already. One is
Dreamer/Gordy/Williams VS Elims/Lee (first teaming of Gordy and Williams
in three years, four years in the US). The other is a "dream partner"
thing, with Doug Furnas choosing his partner as Dan Kroffat (YES!!), and
Van Dam choosing...SABU?!?!?!?!
I can't wait for September 14.
--EMQ
James Fabiano
Edmund Terrill wrote:
> Sandman then caned her good. She was carted out, and I guess Missy's
> gone from ECW. (YES!)
Oh, I wouldn't go to those Extremes. (Pun intended :-)) Sure, Missy did not
mesh with the Sandman as well as Woman did, but that doesn't mean that they
should get rid of her altogether. I think the best solution is to find a guy
she would fit in with. Personally, I think since Stevie encouraged Missy's
turn, she should wind up being his manager! After all, Missy can do a putz
gimmick (as she's shown at various times in WCW). Oh yeah, I'm also guessing
that this angle was done because they may end up reuniting Sandman with Lori
and Tyler, although God knows how they'll do it. Anyway, with that "other
woman" out of the way, this angle would be feasible. And it's the only way
to end the "family feud" angle without controversy.....I just know that there
are more than a few individuals out there ready to pounce on ECW when they
have Sandman cane Tyler.
J.F.