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10 Not So Insanely Great Things Apple Released Under Steve Jobs

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FAR-VA~RSPW's Very Own Ubermenschen

Oct 13, 2011, 7:07:11 PM10/13/11
10 Not So Insanely Great Things Apple Released Under Steve Jobs
By Shaun Clayton in Daily Lists, Tech
Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 7:59 am

Steve Jobs is gone. Without a doubt, he will be remembered as a genius
and a visionary. He changed the world in more ways than one, and his
legacy is obvious in every iPhone, iPad, iPod and Mac computer sold. He
will be missed.
However, it's also worth remembering that Steve Jobs was also human, and
not some incredibly gifted alien shot into space from his dying planet
by his father. While Steve Jobs helped pioneer many gadgets,
technologies and even helped create certain markets that didn't exist
before, not every thing Apple made under Jobs was insanely awesome.
Actually, some Apple products weren't even that good. In fact, some of
these things were very, very flawed. So, in the interest of full
reflection here are ten things that were created by Apple while Steve
Jobs was in charge that were... not so great.
10) Mac OS X 10.0 "Cheetah"

Though Mac OS X is a fine operating system now, in the very first
release in 2001, it was anything but. Apple had the idea that it was
more important to get OS X out quickly rather than have it be finished,
and boy was it unfinished. It was incredibly slow - resizing a window
alone was a choppy frustration fest. It's codename of "Cheetah" would
only be suitable if the Cheetah was doped up on Klonopin. If you think
you hate the spinning beach ball of death now, just think about how bad
it was then. Plus, though the new OS had things that the old Mac OS
sorely lacked, like protected memory. It also lacked simple things like
being able to burn CDs or play DVDs, which in 2001 sucked a whole lot.
9) The iSight

While cameras are now small and ubiquitous in almost every piece of
computer device, it wasn't always that way. In 2003 Apple decided to
help you in this sense by combining a webcam with a microphone and
selling to you for $149. Eh, even though it was a fantastic webcam, it
was still a very expensive webcam, and people decided that a crappy
webcam for $50 would be a little more reasonable. Apple discontinued the
iSight 3 years later.
8) The Apple TV

Though now it a cheaper, more useable form, the original Apple TV
release in 2007 was not. Starting at $299, the device allowed you to
watch... er, not a whole lot. You could see videos downloaded from
iTunes, or streamed from YouTube or off your computer and uh, that's it.
So it was like a computer, but did nothing a computer did except hook up
to your TV really easily. Also misleading is that while people would
like an Apple-branded TV, this device also required you to get a TV.
7) The Flower Power and Blue Dalmatian iMacs

Having a lot of success with different colorful versions of the G3 iMac,
the February 2001 models decided to take it a step up, using a technique
of plastic molding that took over a year and a half to perfect. The
"Blue Dalmatian" and "Flower Power" designs are as if Timothy Leary's
head appeared inside your iMac and then exploded. Though Apple
introduced these with much fanfare went back to less "Burning Man
after-party" colors for the iMac in July.
6) The First Power Mac G4s

There was nothing really wrong with the design of this tower, which came
out in September 1999, except that the very next month, all the speeds
of the machine were pulled back, so suddenly a $2,499 450 MHz computer
became a $2,499 400 MHz computer. This was thanks to Motorola both not
able to produce enough supplies or in functional quality. You can
probably guess how upset people were at this (very). Apple was perhaps
even more upset, and this was one of the reasons that in 2005 Apple
switched over to using Intel-based processors on all its computers.
5) The 3rd-Generation iPod Shuffle

Apple's decided that those damned buttons right on their smallest and
cheapest iPod unit were too intimidating, so they removed them
completely. They then added voice control, and a proprietary set of
headphones with buttons on them with which to control the unit. So you
couldn't use any other third party headphones to control your Shuffle.
Brilliant! Now the only thing simple about the iPod Shuffle was that it
could be easily swallowed. Apple realized its mistake, at least, and
released the 4th-generation Shuffle with buttons back on the unit.
4) The Apple Display Connector

In 2000, Apple started to use a connector that combined a video signal,
power, and USB all in one cable, called the ADC. A nice idea, surely,
but it meant that you could only use Apple monitors with Apple
computers, which was kind of galling to consumers who were already
paying a good deal for a Mac. But the real problem was that the power
provided by the ADC was insufficient to power a CRT monitor above
17-inches or a LCD of 30-inches, both of which Apple sold... meaning if
you did buy one of these now necessary monitors they didn't work. In
2004, the ADC was quietly replaced with DVI, though you could get a
giant brick of a conversion kit for $200.
3) Power Mac G4 Cube

Introduced in July 2000, this was a PowerPC G4 computer crammed into an
8x8x8-inch cube. It had all the power of a G4 tower, which professionals
wanted, but unfortunately it neglected to have a lot of expansion ports,
which professionals also wanted. It was also more expensive than the
entry-level tower at $1,799. So... not a lot of people wanted them. Oh,
also, the capacitance switch for the power would sometimes accidentally
get activated, putting the unit to sleep. That and it was designed to be
fanless, which some people didn't realize, and stupidly destroyed their
machines by blocking off the ventilation. Fortunately Apple learned from
this and made the Mac Mini for the entry-level set. but still the Cube
comes across as the homecoming queen with severe bipolar disorder -
desirable for its beauty, but full of inner darkness.
2) The Hockey Puck Mouse

Introduced with the original iMac, this round mouse the first of Apple's
to use the USB standard, was naturally difficult to orient and even more
difficult to use with big hands. Apple took their minimalist approach to
devices and made a hockey puck a button on it...and colors! Eventually
Apple did come out with a pill-shaped "Pro" mouse three years later, but
in the meantime, the market for third party mice really took off on the
1) The Lisa

The Lisa was the first graphical user interface computer; it was also
supposedly named after Steve Jobs' daughter. It was definitely priced at
nearly $9,995 when it came out in 1983, which would be about $21,000
now. Even though it was focused towards large businesses, large
businesses said "WHAT???" especially when the much cheaper Macintosh
came out. Lisa took such a beating that that was given an emulator to
run the Mac OS system and renamed the Macintosh XL shortly before it was
Tags: Apple, Bad Ideas, Mac, Steve Jobs
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The pill mouse was almost as frustrating as the puck mouse. I have
generally average-sized hands, but the "hinge" on the pill mouse was so
far back that while just resting my hand on it or especially when moving
it forward/up, it was very easy to click by mistake. (For those who
aren't familiar with it, the pill mouse eschewed gauchities like
"buttons" in favor of having the entire top plate of the mouse tip
forward when you clicked.) I eventually learned to compensate by
manipulating the entire mouse with my fingertips, but it wasn't a fun
experience. I generally admire Apple's design, but I'm not sure what
they were thinking with either of those products; did they think that
"everyone else's mice roughly contour to the shape of a human hand" was
some kind of coincidence?
Now you've got me wondering what "Anal Injustice" must be like.... Well,
at least I'm ready for FFF tomorrow! XD
I keep waiting for a commenter here to discuss using one of these as an
ACTUAL hockey puckXD
I'm simultaneously appalled and amused...My face seems to be waiting for
orders from my brain telling it to laugh with joy or gasp in horrorXD
I'm appallused! XD The new official emotional response of Topless Robot!
Ah! The good old days: When computing was the sole province of the very
rich and/or the very nerdy--and the public truly believed (thanks to
films like WarGames and Terminator) that computers were dangerous,
inscrutable devices that would someday start World War III. ^_^
I didn't know about the fan thing. I do seem to recall some macs having
discoloration around the top (that "used to be white, now beige" color
most computer equipment had, eventually), though I never thought to ask
The Human Centipede always struck me as something you'd do IRL--not
merely write a fic aboutXD
Dear lord people, why did you use the bloody thing!? I never even took
mine out, I had already bought an inexpensive two-button/scoll wheel
logitech mouse for class (on apple computers) in '98 (maybe '99). Worked
right out of the box, had it for years until I replaced it with an
optical equivalent. Haven't used an apple mouse since.
I see your Quicktake and raise you a <a
Final <em>Cut</em>, that is. I don't even know what kind of Freudian
slip that was.
The dumbed-down iMovie was bad, but Final Touch X (which now looks a lot
like iMovie) was much worse. It may have lost them the professional
The first few iterations of the Mac didn't have a cooling fan (up to the
Plus, IIRC.) There were third party fan units available that sat on top
of the Mac and helped with the heat dissipation. Most people didn't need
them, though.
Yeah, we had one of those mice in the college lab I worked at. Hated
that thing, but coped. That is, until they came out with these little
aftermarket things that snapped onto the mouse body, elongating it like
a normal mouse. Pretty sure they came color-matched too...
I went to an Apple store to get an application and they told me there
was no Jobs there anymore........this gem came out an hour after they
announced his death.
I remember using macs back in elementary school in the long long ago.
That might be the source of my undying hate for macs. That and the
pompous way they present themselves the little rat dicks hope they lose
their Jobs.
I kind of know about the horrors of OSX and the Hockey Puck mouse
*shudders* We had a 2001 or so Summer iMac DV until it's PSU blew up,
and ended up being replaced by an Indigo 2003 iMac. Only once did we try
to use the OSX Public Beta, which was very slow, very clunky, and didn't
even work with the speakers. It also came with the Mouse, and why not
list its keyboard while we're at it? The keyboard has keys thinner than
Tic-Tacs. Seriously. BTW, that old iMac now is a dual-booting OS9/OSX
Panther machine we keep around for compatibility reasons, like to play
old Mac games on the iMac, like Pathways into Darkness. =P Old time Mac
users, still have a working Apple //. Still didn't like Jobs too much,
he was a complete jerkass to his employees. Not cool, no matter how much
of a visionary you are. Like Woz better.
Perhaps I was wrong, this wasn't on Jobs' watch..
The article neglected to mention the Apple Pippin..
An Apple ///.
I hope this is sarcastic. Otherwise -100 internets for you
My toddler loved the hockey puck. I bought a Logitech USB mouse for $30
and got on with my life, rather than living in Windows damnation like
some did. Crimony.
Frankly, I would add OS10.5 (or anything higher) to this list. Not
because the operating system itself is all that bad (I have no idea),
but because all of a sudden not only was OS9 functionality gone (when a
lot of businesses like ours still ran ultra-important tasks like ALL OUR
ACCOUNTING AND DATA INDEXING on OS9 software), but even previous OSX
software functionality was basically lost. Faced with the need to invest
in another three whole new computers and software suites, or else to
invest in another three whole new computers and software suites (Mac or
Win respectively), a lot of former and longtime Mac users did what we
eventually did: stocked up on rebuilt Macs which could run OS9 and
OS10.4.11, and hunkered down until the coming apocalypse.
I never really used the puck mouse on any of my macs, I still have
couple in the plastic they came in. I liked having two buttons and a
scroll wheel so I just bought a decent logitech mouse and brought it
with for class. Apples mice have always sucked, but at least they
appreciate the extra dexterity of finger-tip control as opposed to the
wrist wrecking hand-rests of other mice.
If only there was a "like" button for specific lines in the OPs...
(Well, I guess that's what the comments are for. {g})
In grade school we had no computers at all, the PC not having quite been
invented yet. :( (Our junior high office had a PC that ran Microsoft
Flight Simulator version 0.00001, or something like that. Which no one
actually used there except for me when I could sneak or finagle or beg
my way into doing so. {g} But that thing was definitely not for general
exposure to the kid population.) My family did pick up a Sinclaire
something-something (which was a personal computer in about the same way
watches became PCs for a little while with tiny little keyboards even ;)
). And then a Kaypro2 for business use (which never got used for
business, but did get used for writing multi-thousand line programs
automating the combat rules for <i>Red Arrow, Black Heart</i> {g}); and
then a Texas Instrument 99/4a. That was our first recognizable "personal
computer". C64 after that. By then I was in high school, mocking the
primitive IBM PC clone or two we had in our library for their primitive
"Oregon Trail" game. Which I still played the absolute hell out of.
Priorities, you understand: it might not have been much but it was
there. {g}
No, this was one of their first personal computers, way back in the
80's. I saw it in a Cracked article once.
We had those blasted things in my middle school in the "Mac lab."
Dreadful pieces of garbage.
Also, I have to add that every wheeled mouse I have ever cleaned a ball
for (which was all of them) did not optically track the ball. There were
two wheels inside the housing, one for forward/back, one for left/right,
which translated the ball's movements proportionately depending on how
the mouse was moved.
I do recall seeing plenty of optical mice in the heavy-duty CAD labs at
UTKnoxville back in the late 1989. I was flabbergasted. (Definitely not
Apple operating systems btw.)
Up until a few years ago I was still going through that pain. (Then we
finally upgrade to Pro mice at work.)
I notice a common theme here seems to be the eyegouging price. I
remember my first Mac laptop, a couple thousand dollar beast that had
zero expansion capability so I couldn't get any media drives outside of
a DVD-ROM during the era of Zip disks, Smart drives and little floppy
disks. College was a rough time. It's Apple's main crippling flaw is
they set the price at whatever they like, usually a few hundred more
than their competitors, and expect us to pay to pay their exorbitant
price. Which the masses gladly do. And then said masses wonder why
they're so poor.
As much as I love Macs (since the very early days), I have to agree: the
lack of a second button is stupid. Even 3rd party mice which are usable
on Macs have 2 buttons, and the software has long been set up to use
them just fine.
Newton gets a pass since Jobs wasn't with the company when it was
It's not. Once the fanboys made the "4 Steve" connection, suddenly it
I blame that mouse for developing my habit of holding tightly to mice
with my thumb and ring finger (which was the only way to operate it).
Shortly afterward, mice with buttons on the side in the exact same
places became common. Including the puck's successor (which I happen to
using today.) AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
Might I recommend "Red Green Blue" instead, Doc Braxy? It stars (Child)
Link and Zelda as well as a faithful recreation of "The Dowel Scene"
from that wretched Sailor Moon FFF. Only instead of a dowel, it's a Deku
Stick, and instead Chibiusa on the receiving end, it's...Link.
..-cough- I reaaaaaally should shut up right about now, huh? DX
I'd shave with the iSight. It wouldn't be as close as a blade, but with
my Bukkake Cum Lotion, you round eyes would never know the difference.
"Anal Justice" IS my meth, mister priest! XD
damn it, where did i hear about anal justice before? there's so much
perversion in my head it's too hard to keep it straight....
I totally and completely understand your pain. I went through the same
thing back in college.
Steve Jobs would have wanted anal justice.
it's TR man, it's too late for regrets now!
this is going down hill fast
maybe if you didnt do so much meth, you wouldn't lust for anal justice
Jobs was more of a PR and business man than an innovator. He took ideas
that others were either working on or soon would have had, and packaged
them in pleasing designs. (To be fair, the competition tended to not put
enough effort into "pleasing design". In that regard, he was an
innovator.) That was the failure of the G4. It was possibly the extreme
of Apple's form-over-function approach to design. It was designed with
its appearance and sound level first, and functionality last. Well, that
and Apple's belief that its customers would buy whatever they released,
and that any user customization/expansion was a bad thing.
achtung dumkoff green text wolfenstein partyin
They didn't make a big stink, the pundits did. All they said was "Let's
talk iPhone." The rest of it was just the rumormill.
Oh, don't get my wrong. My favorite computer was my 8086 IBM PC. Now
THAT was computing! Big, heavy, noisy, with an on switch like an
electric chair's....
ps - i'm stealing anal justice (i haven't already)
that is so insane i begs for a like
I hate, hate, HATED the puck-mouse! I could never, EVER get my copy of
"Anal Justice" hidden fast enough by clicking those things to avoid the
knowing smiles of my roommate in college. Hey, fuck YOU, Alex! The worst
thing I did in college is to have cartoon porn of feminine-looking
cartoon boys in my iMac. YOU DEAL CRYSTAL METH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DON'T
GIVE THAT HOLIER THAN THOU ART ATTITUDE!! ...-cough- I, uh, should've
stopped talking like three or four sentences ago, shouldn't I? DX -runs
away in shame-
Naaw..."too soon" would be taking that "not some incredibly gifted alien
shot into space from his dying planet by his father" comment and asking,
disappointedly, if that means leaving Steve out in the sun for long
enough wouldn't bring him back to life, while in the meantime we deal
with four would-be replacement Steve Jobses, one of whom's a cyborg?
no, you're thinking of old timey AOL putting their shit into floppy
Hey, I used the hockey puck mouse for over ten years, and I turned out
all rightâ€"my right hand's bones probably would have grown in all
curvy anyway!
I heard he reverse engineered his own urine and sold it to the people as
the Apple Juice 5.0
Just college? Wow the times are a changin'!
We had Maths Circus, which was a little traumatizing. Sometimes, when
you were trying to avoid being turned into a frog, your character would
run into the witch's wand and impale himself.
"There is little dialogue in the film's second half, except for moans,
screams, and whimpers." sounds like a typical day on TR Your
then you truly belong with us in the Cthutlu enclave!
yes you will
Apparently there is something wrong with me -- I liked my little hockey
puck mouse.
I hearken back fondly to the machines we used when I was in grade
school, although admittedly all of our computer time consisted of
playing awesome games like Oregon Trail, Word/Number Crunchers, and some
weird carnival game called Quandary something. Those were the days...
My favourite part: ..".the Cube comes across as the homecoming queen
with severe bipolar disorder - desirable for its beauty, but full of
inner darkness." TOO funny! :):):)
Siri would get the Clippy treatment right out of the box. Nothing sparks
my fury more than technology asking me to repeat myself.
that was either job's idea or the focus group that put it together
well from what i heard through the grapevine, in japan siri was mocked
as shiri which means buttocks. so maybe that makes up for it?
I didn't find the improvements were particularly impressive. I'd come to
expect more from Apple when they make that big of a stink about a
you mean pr0n? :P
Because it's not called a 5, and the screen's not bigger. Never mind
Siri, a chip that doubles performance, a top of the line camera...
i'm talking about c64 and that era when floppy ruled, heck even up to
windows 3.1; after 95 when there was internet and email and email didn't
care what kind of file you sent, well, maybe. but nothing will ever beat
the pure joy of inserting 5.25" into drives. nothing. not even
nice this list shows even a genius like steve jobs and also apple can
produce some real clunkers. for wonder how many hocky puck mouses apple
torched or are still torching people with. plus whose idea was it to not
have a way to cool the computer when it gets to hot and avoid the parts
becoming liquid
Exactly how is one million orders in the first 24 hours a
"disappointment?" Please explain that.
i need to recompile my sources! but seriously ye gods that control the
daily lists, a list based on the tech xerox developed and then let slip
through its fingers would be totally awesome
Jobs was not at Apple for the Newton. That was Scully's.
I never missed floppies. If it was small enough for a floppy, it was
small enough to email. And if you didn't have email, you were behind the
times already.
I don't see this anywhere on Wikipedia's perfect and unbiased
history of the mouse. :) It actually looks like the first commercially
sold mice were balled. perhaps opticals were made earlier than we
remember but most manufacturers went back to balls because of cost.
interesting side note: the very first known mouse ever (not sold it
seems) had wheels that rolled on the working surface itself.
It's actually a movie. I think. I won't watch it.
I actually loved that mouse, and I have big hands. That said, I don't
miss it.
What about the Apple Pippin? Or was that while Steve was MIA from the
they're just irked it wasn't billed as iphone 5; i applaud them (apple)
for that, it's not like MS releasing their latest service pack of vista
as windows 7.
once again i must hide in shame
if i remember correctly, mice weren't sold to the general public until
apple; before that they appeared in xerox probably as balled mice (jobs
took a tour of the xerox labs and i <s>think</s> know copied everything
in his mind) but the very first one used optics. technically so do the
balled mice but their optics exist to read the wheels the ball turns.
Come on, Newton gets a pass on "Eat up Martha" alone.
Seems a lot of people would be responsible for sticking with one button.
didn't know the original mouse was optical. do you mean the first
prototype? or the first one sold?
Yes, but I am not talking as much about price, as what a college student
would want from his/her computer.
<cough> Apple Newton </cough>
Pretty sure I was the only one in my all-Mac office who toughed it out
with the hockey puck.
This seems backwards to me. Usually apple stuff is technically better
but pcs are more accessible and more common so they would be more
responsible for bringing them into almost every home.
I expected boobs in that link. The iRack. What would any sane person
Gotta agree with Abraxas on this one - they've already shifted 1,000,000
handsets before release, outpacing their previous record when iPhone 4
was released. Even if the specs disappoint you, it's already a
commercial success.
Note to self: must remember to tell The Monarch. But not the moppets.
I know, it is. You of all people should be in that loop.
i do recall this:
Steve Jobs can do anything he wants to if you use Itunes.
i am so out of the centi loop it's unbelievable
Ever seen the South Park episode Human CentIpad
whaaaa? steve jobs is responsible this? :P
I think the "doohickey" (real name) the attachment you need to connect
any Apple product to any other video input in the world is more
impressive than Apple monitor cord. I have to find this 4 inch
attachment cord anytime a macbook walks in to do a presentation. Also a
shout out to the Apple III. My high school computer (sigh, memories)
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Oct 19, 2011, 3:32:22 AM10/19/11
On Oct 13, 7:07 pm, (FAR-VA~RSPW's Very Own
> screams, and whimpers." sounds like a typical day on TR Your
i like green apples.

FAR-VA~RSPW's Very Own Ubermenschen

Oct 19, 2011, 9:45:42 AM10/19/11

Re: 10 Not So Insanely Great Things Apple Released Under Steve Jobs

Group: Date: Wed, Oct 19, 2011, 12:32am (EDT-3)
From: (robert)
little green apples?

Sep 29, 2016, 7:12:48 PM9/29/16
Yea, I saw the movie too.
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