Wrestlemania Results
Brandon Scott Coley
-The first match was Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka. I must admit that I did not
pay alot of attention to this match because I was afraid of the ending. (I
really thought Tatanka would win the belt.) However, I did peek out enough
to see that Luna Vachon had accompanied Shawn to the ring and Sherri had
accompanied Tatanka. The 2 had a few stand-offs outside the ring (usually
when Tatanka was thrown out and Luna stepped up as if to kick Tatanka), but
really weren't all that involved in the match. Eventually, both man are being
counted out and Tatanka beats the count - but they decide not to tell you.
Tatanka hits Shawn with the papoose to go and the ref taps Tatanka saying, I
guess "He was counteed out, you came pin him now you stupid shit". And
Tatanka wins - but not the title. I become very happy. Luna VAchon attacks
Sherri and Sherri is carried out by Tatanka. I am happier yet.
-Up next was Steiners-Headshrinkers. Surprisingly good actually. Both teams
kept up a pretty good pace and the match wasn't nearly as boring as I expected
it to be. Scott with amissed Frankensteiner for the pin. (sold well by the
Headshrinker) WHew! I don't have to eat my computer. I'm still happy.
-Now enters Crush. I thought it very strange that Crush precede Doink to
the ring - and as it turns out, that was an omen of what was to come. The
match was basic CRUSH MAD! type stuff including chasing Doink around the ring.
Ho Hum. Somehoe though, Doink gets away with punching out the ref (maybe we
were supposed to believe Crush ducked said punch) and not getting DQ'd. Crush
uses this time to apply the "I am crushing your head" manuever. Ho Hum. Then,
out from under the ring- It's Doink! But wait, Doink's in the ring! The 2
Doinks (or was it illusion) hammer Crush with another styrofoam arm and Doink2
hides under the ring. The ref conveniently chooses to wake up now and counts
Crush down 1-2-3! Another ref comes down and tells the ref about the second
clown, but the original ref does not believe him. So, they look under the ring
"There's no one under there" says one ref, so the result stands. Now, I'm
REALLY happy.
-Razor Ramon vs. Opie. Short match. Razor pulls a short package out of his
ass and pins Backlund. "Dats one more, fo da bad guy!". I am very surprised,
and still, very happy.
-MegaMorons vs. Money Inc. Now I pray to the wrestling gods for Money Inc. -
and my prayers were answered. Money Inc. was simply too good for the Mega-
idiots and Bulk Blowgan (I used to like him, now I have lost all respect) had
to resort to hitting Money Inc. with bruti's mask when the ref was down (again)
Another ref comes out and "The winners of this match as a result of a dis-
qualification, Money Incorporated!" Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Now I'm REALLY
fucking happy. Of course, Hogan steals IRS's briefcase and hands out money,
taking his time to pose for hours. I don't care, I'm glowing.
-Luger vs. Perfect. Excellent match. The ending was completely expected -
Luger pins Perfect with Perfect's feet on the ropes. But more interesting
was after the match when Perfect, now recovering from being knocked out,
chases after Luger and finds him - with none other than Shawn Michaels.
Perfect attacks Luger, but Michaels attacks Perfect. I look forward to a
Michaels - Perfect feud. I'm still ridiculously happy.
-Undertaker vs. Gonzales. Undertaker tried, he really did, but Gonzales is
too much of an oaf to make this match any good. Eventually, for no reason
at all, Gonzales uses chloroform on Undertaker. Whoopee. Gonzales DQ'd,
and Undertaker escorted out on a stretcher. until... "BONG!" The Undertaker
walks from the locker area OK! He beats up Gonzales, who can't believe what
happened. Officials break it up and the feud continues... I'm slightly
displeased, but more or less still happy. SIDE NOTE: Gonzales seems to
know English VERY well, he just is modifying his voice. I always suspected
he could, I'm just glad to ahve proof.
-Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna. Before this match I was happy. After this match
I wanted the head of Vince McMahon on a stick. Hart kicks 'Zuna's ass and
gets him in the Sharpshooter. Fuji throws salt. Hart gets pinned. Hogan
comes out. Fuji challenges Hogan. Bret says OK. Hogan pins Yokozuna.
(use barf bags now) Complete and utter bullshit. I hope Hogan gets
stripped. after all, Thye King of the Ring tournament IS approaching...
OTHER NOTES: Luna beat up Sherri more in the locker room, but we don't get
to see it. Also, Luger had knocked Bret Hart out earlier that day with his
forearm. And oh yes, Jim Ross played straight man in the commentary booth.
If I have my way with this, which I guarantee I won't, Bret Hart will ignore
Lex Luger and challenge Hogan for the title. AND WHATTCHA GONNA DO WHEN
THE EXCELLENCE OF EXECUTION MAKES A FOOL OUT OF YOU!!!!
===============================================================================
= Bolt | "The Living shall fall,
= Sometimes known as Brandon | The Dead shall rise,
= Sometimes known as Asshole | Papa Shango will reign,
= But really doesn't give a shit | Over your demise!"
= bo...@wpi.wpi.edu | - Papa Shango
Rod Hutchings
>OTHER NOTES: Luna beat up Sherri more in the locker room, but we don't get
>to see it. Also, Luger had knocked Bret Hart out earlier that day with his
>forearm. And oh yes, Jim Ross played straight man in the commentary booth.
My guess is that these scenarios will be seen on Monday Night Raw, and/or
Superstars.
I too was happy up until the Hart/Yoko Match/fiasco/whatever. I was even
happy with the UT/Giant Match (all but the Stupid Chloroform incident!)
I thought that the Hogan Pins Yoko & Wins belt scenario has got to be
dumbest move Vince McMahon has ever made in the History of (W)WWF Wrestling.
But then I gave it a little more thought...
>If I have my way with this, which I guarantee I won't, Bret Hart will ignore
>Lex Luger and challenge Hogan for the title.
And this is what I was thinking about. I still think Hart is being set up
as the mega champ of the WWF!! And this is the angle that will put him over.
His match proves that (had fuji not thrown salt in Bret's Eyes) Bret could
have beaten Yokozuna. He had that Sharpshooter cinched. There was no way
Yoko was going to get out of it, and it would have been only a matter of
time before Yoko submitted to it (more than usual considering the size of
the man. No one (mark or otherwise) will deny that Hart had Yokozuna
beaten. However, Hart has still not beaten the biggest of them all...
The Immortal Hulk Hogan!!! Think about it... Hogan/Hart with Hart holding
the strap would just not fly. Hart could retain, but it would not be
convincing, if the match was in any way close, and could be considered a
fluke if he did retain (especially if Hogan had the upper hand at the time).
No, the best way to put Hart over as the next Major Champion is to put on a
convincing showing as he did against Yokozuna, then have him Beat Hogan
while Hogan wears the Gold, much like the Warrior did in Wrestlemania 6!!
This, IMHO, would be the match of the Century!! And to have Hogan Submit to
the Sharpshooter in a Face vs Face Match (or even if Hart Pins Hogan
cleanly) would put Bret over in fine style. I am hoping against all hope
that this is the scenario Vince has in mind. It's the only way that the
fiasco that took place at WM9 would be justified (and barely at that!).
Cheers
Rodney
--
rod...@garfield.cs.mun.ca | "Give the Clown credit, he beats
Rod Hutchings | up cowboys AND Indians"
The opinions above are mine and mine | - Christopher Robin Zimmerman
alone. So there! Nyah Nyah Nyah :^) | (rec.sport.pro-wrestling)
Steven C Sousa
>bo...@wpi.WPI.EDU (Brandon Scott Coley) writes:
>
>
>>OTHER NOTES: Luna beat up Sherri more in the locker room, but we don't get
>>to see it. Also, Luger had knocked Bret Hart out earlier that day with his
>>forearm. And oh yes, Jim Ross played straight man in the commentary booth.
>
>My guess is that these scenarios will be seen on Monday Night Raw, and/or
>Superstars.
>
>I too was happy up until the Hart/Yoko Match/fiasco/whatever. I was even
>happy with the UT/Giant Match (all but the Stupid Chloroform incident!)
>I thought that the Hogan Pins Yoko & Wins belt scenario has got to be
>dumbest move Vince McMahon has ever made in the History of (W)WWF Wrestling.
>But then I gave it a little more thought.
I too have given it a little more thought as well. I was initially
disgusted when I saw Hogan charge the ring, because I knew then that he would
be the next WWF champ. However, many people before on rspw had speculated
that Yoko would beat Hart and then Hogan would beat Hogan. When they were
saying this, there was no talk of this anlge leading to the "demise of the WWF"
My question therefore is this: What difference does it make if Hogan wins the
title the way he did or if he waits until SummerSlam? It makes more sense to
me the way it happened, because this way, WM9 can end on a note to please all
the Pukeamaniacs as it always has to. Since we all know that the show is
booked, what real difference does it make WHEN Hogan wins the belt?
Especially when we know that Hogan's just keeping the belt warm for
the wrestler of the 90's, Doink! Let's face it, if Doink beat Bret Hart for the
world title, no one would notice, because it's so obvious that Doink could
beat Bret with both hands tied behind his back and a stipulation that the match
begin with Doink in the Sharpshooter. However, the pure stupidity of the
Barfamaniacs can't be underestimated and a few of them might think that Hulk
could retain the title, if only by DQ. Therefore no one would be left who could
question that Doink must lead the WWF into the 21st century!
The second paragraph is, I must admit a BIT of an exaggeration, but I
am totally serious about the first paragraph.
Steve "Doink is my long lost father!" Sousa
Eric Chmiel
>However, many people before on rspw had speculated
>that Yoko would beat Hart and then Hogan would beat Hogan. When they were
First Steve Austin wrestles on both sides of a tag match at SkyDome,
now this. Imagine the PPV buy rate for a Hogan vs. Hogan title match. Well,
it would have to be a non-decision in any event because both Hogans have egos
too big to allow either one of them to do the job :).
Just thought I'd be the first wise-ass to come out and say it...
***********
Eric Chmiel
***********
Tom Johnston
> [...] Let's face it, if Doink beat Bret Hart for the
>world title, no one would notice, because it's so obvious that Doink could
>beat Bret with both hands tied behind his back and a stipulation that the match
>begin with Doink in the Sharpshooter. However, the pure stupidity of the
Bret's a good athlete, but I think even I could beat him if he had both
hands tied behind his back. I doubt he could keep me (or anyone else) in
a sharp-shooter under such circumstances. While Doink could also beat him
under those circumstances, I think in a fair match (Bret's hand's not tied)
Bret would easily beat Doink. I do appreciate the respect shown for
Bret in suggesting that his hands should be tied to let Doink have a
better chances against him.
Hopefully we'll see Bret take the belt back from Hogan. Maybe Bret
is being set up as the next long-running champ, a position Ultimate
Warrior could have held if he wasn't so darned greedy.
Tom
james lowe 9208 U
Hart against Hogan, and give Hart a clean win. I'd love to see it happen,
but (sadly) it won't. The marks will only go for a hero, and Hart simply
isn't one. Remember, when the Undertaker was getting chlorformed out, what
was the crowd chanting? "Hogan, Hogan, Hogan...".
Sickening, but true.
Jim
DENNIS SIPES
I still like to think you were serious about the 2nd paragraph as well.
Dennis "Doink is the real father of Luke Skywalker" Sipes