[ECW] 12\17
Dave Scherer
simple. I drank a WHOLE lot of Molson Ice beer last night.
My day started out when I met up with Pop at 12 noon. Before we went to
Philly, we had to go to zoo, also known as the mall, and get some Xmas
gifts for our wives. We had a ball, as usual, and we we especially
comical in Victoria's Secret. Our view on Xmas gifs is "hey, buy
something we like." So we did.
We met up with Rat and his pal Dave at around 3:15. We went to the liquor
store and bought a case of 24 ounce Molson Ice beers. Later, we would
drink them. As is his new tradition, Pop stayed with the Blackberry Jack.
On the way to the Arena, we stop at the "Best of Philly" cheesesteak
joint, where we saw the bloody fight in October. We got our steaks and
hit the Arena Lot. Waiting there were Pistol Pete Stein and the Giraffe.
U-Gene says they made it down in 90 minutes from NYC. Wow, I did not kn
ow that his car had wings. We rollout of the car and tear into out
steaks. They were awesome. As is his custom, Giraffe forgot his beer.
We take care of him. Newman the Sign Guy pulls up. We do a sign guy
chant (yeah, we're mutants). He comes over and says "Boy either you guys
like ECW or you like drinking beer." I said, actually we like both.
Well, that was it for sign guy. If he has insomnia, I'll bet he just talks
to himself until he bores himself to sleep. He leaves. As we are gritting
on th e chow, we see three dudes with leather jackets walking up to us.
One guy asked if we knew Tom Misnik. We reply "No one will admit to
that." Rather than just introducing himself, I was *forced* to ask if he
was Matt West, which he was. With him were t he Colonel and Nason, who
had a great T shirt that "admitted" he was a lesbian. They all work for
the Rhode island promotion. With them, they had their two pals, who are
midget wrestlers. They wanted to get the midgets on the card. They tell
us that t hey stopped at the White Castle for Burgers. Out of towners for
sure. NO ONE eats at White Castle. We send them to the Cheesesteak place
around the corner. Next to arrive was the E man, Eric Tennant, followed
by Marvelous Mary and Bodacious Brian Soch a. Stop the presses. Brian
forgot his beer again. Mary's the best BTW. I ask where the whip (from
last month is) and Mary says she brioke it on brian. That is the only
acceptable reason for it's absence.Pop and I had picked up alittle
surprise on the way out. We needed 3 volunteers to join in. Rat was a
gimme. I ask Pete and Giraffe to follow blindly and join in. they hedge.
In the mean time, Mad Dog shows up. I ask him and he says yes. He will
join in. Giraffe say he too will follow blindly. We tell them what they
have gotten into and we will unveil it right before the show starts.
Somewhere in between all of this, we had a 1950's retro act show up in the
lot. Henry Winkler is now known as Mr. ECW. Yes, Tom "the Fonz" Misnik
was in the hou se wearing his leather jacket. We all said "AYYYYYYYY"
about 20 times. With Tom were Big John and Rich Fronheiser, back from
Knoxville. We all BS and imbibe in various cocktails. Tom takes the
midgets in with him, in an effort to get them on the card.
So, it's around 5:15 and we load up our beer cups and go stand in line. We
party and raise hell. Some of the psycho kids, who if you read these
reports you will know about, come over and stand in line. We meet Danny,
the young psycho. Pretty cool littl e nutcase actually. We have some fun
and ask where our pal Billy is. billy did the chokeslam on his friend for
us last time. He's coming. Cool! While we are standing in line, one of
the original bleacher mutants, the big Cat and his pal Wild Bill sho w up.
Cool! We are BSing and raising hell. Psycho cop has to tell us how to
form a line. We are drinking like fish and make no attempt to hid the
brews. Brian says if this was Virginia we'd be arrested. Not in Philly.
No blood no foul here. Then t he Shah of Philly walks by us. We do the
prerequisite Shah chant. He goes past us and pete says, "Hey, that was
Sabu in from of him." Guess that says something about what knuckleheads
we are. Just then, The Magee Brothers show up. Sarge is Sherman Tan k so
I name his Brother Panzer. I give Sarge my recaps from a the last few
shows and he loves them. Tanks ask us why we are not in Forked River at
the NWA show. We could see Devon Storm they say. I said i saw the tape
of the NWA tourney and he looked really green to me. Sarge says "Brina
Hildebrand told us that Storm Sucks." Sarge reads on in my last recap and
says "Fucking beautiful." Arezzi's bus comes by. As John walks by
Giraffe starts a "Bounce that check" chant. John loved that. Not. Sarg
e and Brian talk about Hamburg. they say it wasn't to hot, and this loser
named Dan the Man, who Dreamer "initiated" last month in Hamburg, worked a
lot and sucked. Billy the psycho kid shows up and promises to debut a new
move for us inside. Danny the psycho kid passes around a petition that we
sign so that Billy will toast his pal for us. Then we had a tenuous
moment. Rich sold his front row ticket and bought an extra bleacher seat
that Giraffe had. Yikes. Then Septic Tank and his pal wearing a har dhat
showed up. It was around 6pm. Doors about to open. Mad Dog had an extra
ticket that was supposed to be for a friend from NYC. He did not show up
so Dog sold it to James. I had a ticket that I had boght for Iron Mike
Palij, that I had to sell as Tom had got him one too. I sold it to
Septic's pal. Just then, Iron Mike shows up, hops in line with us and we
go in and take our bleacher seats.
I go over and try to get a copy of Hardcore Heaven. Rob Feinstein says
they are not here yet. i tell him to save me three copies which he does.
Billy then lays a chiar on the floor and sidesuplexes his friend on it,
followed by a leg drop across the th roat. I look at psycho cop and he
*laughing!* We rate it three stars.
We then pull our surprise. At once, well put on our conehead Santa hats!
Boy, did we look stupid! My hat was lame and kept falling over so I
stuffed it into staying up. I felt so limp. Someone says that a certain
netter, who incidentally thinks I am fat, was in attendance. With no help
from my, a deafening "Evan Sucks" chant started. A few people remark that
Evan must have seen that I ain't so fat and that's why he did not come
anywhere near us. I was also told he was concerned about his safety.
Cracked me up. I don't even know if he was there, but I sure as hell
ain't wasting my time missing a show smacking around Evan and then getting
arrested. The chant did crack me up though. Before the matches, Mary and
Clarence went and sat in the ringsi de seats that they paid when they saw
slugs sitting in their seats. Brian just stayed up in bleachers with us.
We drank beer. Just thought I'd through that out! We do Fonzie and
AAAAAY chants at Tom.
Now, onto the card. Overall it was not up to the usual ECW standards of
excellence. More on that later. rating will be an average of all of us.
Opener was Steve Richards vs JT Smith. At Hamburg, Richards brushed
against Mary. He said "don't touch my as." So, our first chant was "Your
ass sucks." He would have got more pissed, but every time the guys looked
us, the Conehead Santa hats cracked them up. Richards was a little
better, and every time he did a good move we chanted "You still suck."
Richards won with a STIFF kick to the face. ** 1\2.
TV Title was next. Dean Malenko vs Ray Oddity, er Odyssey. We do a take
a bath chant to mutant fan Stanley. Mostly a squash. We do a "Pin the
Geek" chant to Oddity. Finally, he submits to Malenko's psycho Figure 4
variation. * 1\2.
Next we have Chris Benoit vs Hack Myers. We boo Rat's old pal Ref JR
Finnegan. Benoit pretty much nukes Hack and gets the pin w\the double arm
suplex. Benoit calls "Where's that Pussy Sabu?" We do a Sabu chant.
Sabu and Taz come out. Malenko backs B enoit. The PE run in. Overall, **
3\4.
Joey Styles and Santa Claus come out. We bs'd real quick with Joey on his
way in. He seems cool. 911 comes out and, yes, chokeslams Santa Claus.
The Pit Bulls run in and their handicap match with 911 starts. We do the
Roid Boys chant. #2 doesn't like it. 911 does Jason. He does both
Bulls. He wins. Paul E tells Jason "Merry Christmas and Go fuck
yourself." I think they even said 911 was the PWI Rookie of the Year. 3
Ho-ho-hos.
After intermission, we have Don E. Allen vs Mikey Whippwreck. Matt West
and Don E. jaw at each other cause Matt was rated higher in the PWI poll!
Mikey wins with a bulldog. After the match, Styles is interviewing this
guy at ringside who I guess Mikey knew. Mikey comes over and they talk,
then the guy hits Mikey and lays him out. He goes into the ring and
announces that Jason is his manager. This guy looks like a Junior High
Scool kid. Jason looks huge next to him. We chant "you're too short." I
t was very bad. *
Next we had Cairo withe the "virgin" Angel and the Sandman with Woman
against Dreamer and Cactus. We did Cone Bows to Sandman during his intro.
We chant "Virgin Whore" at Angel. If you have seen her bondage video, you
know why. She was wearing a white wedding dress. Lots of stiff,
psychotic violence! Frying pans, salad bowls, chairs and canes. Suplexes
on tables, clothelines over the top. Just great! Cactus pinned Cairo
with a DDT. After the match, Woman runs in with Angel. Woman throws
Angel in front of her and Cactus toasts her. She juices. Cactus says
that they stole the Virgin's cherry! To their credit, the made Tommy
Dreamer keep his shirt over the tights we hate. **** 1\2, but we were all
saying 5 when the Virgin was defrocked.
ECW Title with Shane Douglas vs Ron Simmons. Simmons was "hurt" and has
his arm in a sling. Shane taunts him and Ron fights anyway and was
getting the better of it for too long. This pissed the fans of, as it was
WCWlike in making the champ look weak. Shane won with a rollup, but the
crowd did NOT like this match. Everyone was ticked. Simmons is NOT over.
**
ECW Tag Title with Sabu and Taz vs the Public Enemy. What you would
expect with tons of hot moves. Both PE bled. Sabu does the Arabian
facebuster. It got wild after while. Taz and Sabu ran in. 911 ran in.
The work itself was four stars, but the fan s were left with an unsettling
feeling of one too many screwjobs. This match was et up by a screwjob at
the last show, and I would love to see Sabu\Taz vs Malenko\Benoit, but
dammit, end the PE vs Sabu and taz feud first. After all the ending
psycho-vio lence, and there were amazing moves like a chair on the top
rope flips and moonsaults through tables, a few fans started up the "ECW"
chant. Paul E took the mic and went off in an expletive laced diatribe.
The one thing that he said, that told me he un derstood what I am say was
"Don't chant ECW. We didn't give you any fucking thing to cheer for."
Looking over the report here, I would not go that far. It was still over
all a thumbs up. Part of the problem with the group is that they set such
a high standard of house show that an "average" show looks worse in
comparison. But there are two problem s that must be addressed.
1. Stop overusing the screwjobs\runins in the important matches. This
really ticked people off.
2. Find a better worker for title matches than Ron Simmons. He could be
OK in a tag team, but coming right in as a World Title contender just
won't sit well with the fans.
Oh, and the line of the night was by Mike Palij. "Sabu, he's so fucking great."
Until next time.....
* "ECW: This Sure as Hell ain't Chess!" Iron Mike Palij, 7\16\94 *
* "Rob is Cheap!" Many, many mutants, 8\13\94 *
* "FLAIR IS DEAD!" Damn near the entire ECW Arena 8\27\94 *
MadDogJMF
so Dog sold it to James. I had a ticket that I had boght for Iron Mike
Palij, that I had to sell as Tom had got him one too. I sold it to
Septic's pal. Just then, Iron Mike shows up, hops in line with us and we
go in and take our bleacher seats. "
Jeez Dave, I should have taken better notes for ya! I didn't sell my
tickets to James, I sold them to two mutants when the door were opening,
but it's a minor point . . .
BTW, my kitten loves the elf hat -- he was last spotted carrying it
towards parts unknown . . .
MADDOGJMF
Evrulz
[pre-arrival festivities deleted]
One word. Sad.
"I go over and try to get a copy of Hardcore Heaven. Rob Feinstein says
they are not here yet."
Feinstein was selling UFC4 tapes already. What a shit he is. As far as
Hardcore Heaven, I know someone has a copy. I could swear it was Feinstein
but I might be wrong.
"Someone says that a certain netter, who incidentally thinks I am fat, was
in attendance."
Thinks? Take a look down Hippo if your necks don't block your vision,
"With no help from my, a deafening 'Evan Sucks' chant started."
And only one. I am so let down.
"A f ew people remark that Evan must have seen that I ain't so fat..."
Compared to John Arezzi maybe.
"...and that's why he did not come anywhere near us."
Is two rows in front of you, near enough? You fat bloated buffoon.
I only wish you guys had stuck around inside right after the show.
"I was also told he was concerned about his safety. Cracked me up. I don't
even know if he was there, but I sure as hell ain't wasting my time
missing a show smacking around Evan and then getting arrested."
My concern was sort of the same. I came to see wrestling, and since we
all know how you hate to have your big fat ego bruised, I have no idea
what you would do, or try to do. As far as smacking me around goes, hey, I
ain't your wife.
EVAN
I HATE AOL
Sam 1999
attendance for Holiday Hell, but I have pnemonia and couldn't make it. As
I watched WCW sat. night (shudder) I could just imagine the fun going on
at Swanson and Ritner. Now that I hear that Evan was in attendance, I am
really sorry. I could have explained to him the annoyance of one word
responses and needless flames, and MADE him buy me a beer to make up for
it. I'll see everyone at the arena in Jan. for Holiday Hangover.
Sam