[ECW] Live w/ Los Lurkers Locos : 4/20/96

[Ray Duffy]

Live with Los Lurkers Locos : ECW Hostile City Showdown '96 : 4/20/96

Greetings everyone, Rev. Ray Duffy with another stupid little arena report.
In attendance for LLL : Rev. Ray, Steve the Insane, "Single J" Jeff
Crawford, "Death Wish" Mike Schmidt, their pal Hillary and a few other of
MIke's pals.

I meet up with Steve the Insane in Hoboken and walk around for a bit. We
pick up a "Get Well Soon" card for Richards and make our way down to Philly.

We get to Philly around 2:45. We expect to meet Jeff and Hillary at 4.
We're warned by Jeff that Hills is usual a half hour late. We wait... and
wait.. and wait. At 4:30 we call up Jeff, who still hasn't left his house
yet. We end up getting picked up at 5pm. I point out to Jeff that you're
not allowed to be a half our late to being a half hour late. And for those
of you playing at home... yes, this is Tom's fault (even if he wasn't even
coming with us.)

We get to the Arena about 5:30, Steve and I get something to eat and then
head back to the Arena. While standing outside, New Jack is out talking
with people. Nothing of note really happens. We head inside. Pre-show,
we have another continuing angle between OJ Dudley and Kato. This time
OJ jumped Kato and Kato had a OJ doll which he hung on a noose. The show
starts a bit late, things kick off about 7:50. We've got two annoying
kids in front of us who Steve and I plot to do bodily harm to most of the
evening.

Joel Gertner comes out to do ring announcers and the fans get on him. He
intros Joey Styles who interviews the Gangstas. Apparently the Gangstas are
now brought to you by Tommy Boy Records who now appear on their tights and
ring jackets. New Jack says his woman didn't feel sorry for them after they
got beat up because they got soft. The call out the Eliminators who run in
and we've got ourselves a brawl. This one goes all over before the locker
room clears out to break it up.

Match #1 : Super Nova v. Ubas : Super Nova is a new guy. His outfit is a
blue and white version of Lyger/Psicosis' tights with what looks like a
cross hair on his chest. Super Nova is out trying to get the fans to hate
him as his acting like a cross of Stevie Richards and Al "Lief" Snow. He's
dorky and annoying... i think we found a new guy to cheer. Ubas and Nova
show off some reasonably nice moves. Nova does a somersault plancha over
to the post to the floor. The match only goes for a few minutes before the
Eliminators run in and beat up both Nova and Ubas. Both receive a taste of
Total Elimination. Saturn calls out the Gangstas. New Jack and 'stafa run
in with a trash can and we've got ourselves another brawl all over the
building. Eventually the lockers clear again. JT gets the mic and asks
"Hey, can't we all just get along?" JT then takes the opportunity to sing
"Fly Me to the Moon", but D-Von Dudley gets a chair and nails Little Guido
who JT pulled in front of him.

Match #2 : "Bad Boy" Billy Black w/ Damien Kane & Lady Alexander v. Mikey
Whipwreck : Lady Alexander shows us what short shorts are supposed to
look like... because if there's a word to describe those short shorts, it
was short. This was a so-so match. Steve said is was expecting a bit more
out of it as Black can put on good matches and Mikey can as well. It goes
back and forth a bit. Damien gets into it with the fans who chant "Captain
Lou" at him. The finish comes when Mikey hits a flying frankenmikey (which
wasn't that great) and then packaged him with a pinning combo for the win.
Post match Kane says that he's going to get even with Mikey.

Match #3 : The Dudley Boys (Buh Buh & D-Von) w/ Sign Guy, Chubby and DW in
a wheel chair v. The Pitbulls w/ Francine. Prematch the in ring Dudleys
(minus D-Von) are saying hi to Francine. Buh Buh tries to say his name to
her...

"My name is Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-(Sign Guy hits him)-Blow Job!"

D-Von comes out and is in Pissed Off mode. He tells the 3 things you shall
not do. Thou Shall Not Steal, Thou Shall Not Kill, Thou Shall Not Fuck with
the Dudleys. And with that... the brawl is on. This one goes into the
crowd and goes around the building. We can't see most of this, but since we
can't see, Francine is kind enough to stand up on the apron to take our
minds off the match... oh wait, there was a match! Anyway, they get into
the ring at one point, Francine ends up beating up Chubby, Sign Guy and DW
while outside. The Pitbulls give Buh Buh the Superbomb and go for the pin,
but D-Von comes in and chairs the Pitbulls and then the ref. For some
unknown reason, the Pitbulls end up superbombing the ref. The Pitbulls save
Francine from getting chaired by D-Von and they head off. D-Von bullies the
other Dudleys some more, telling Buh Buh Ray won't say his name anymore,
he's going to make Sign Guy talk, etc. Buh Buh ends up getting the mic and
yelling out his name while D-Von had his back turned, resulting if D-Von
chasing him to the back. End results... whatever.

Match #4 : Taz w/ Headbanging Bill Alfonso & Taz-posse v. The Immortal
Spam.. I mean, Dangerous Devon Storm : Taz and company come out first, with
Bill headbanging along the way. Bill decides he's not over as a heel, so he
pulls out a Flyers jersey and tells them that they stole Taz's colors... and
they got their asses kicked by Tampa Bay, Bill's home town. Mike and a guy
in front of us with a "I would fuck up Taz" sign decide they want to taunt
him. I inform Mike if Taz even heads near us, his ass is getting thrown to
him. Storm was a surprise, my guess is that WCW wasn't happy with him. My
other guess it that maybe he pissed off Dennis Corralluso as well. A pretty
good match, Devon does a bunch of his Sabu spots, including a few dives to
the floor. He ends up missing a moonsault with a chair, which ended up
having Taz suplex him as Taz can only do. Taz gets pissed and pulls a table
out at ringside. He belly to belly's Devon over the top rope through to the
table. Devon does not get up. Taz via Countout. Post match, Taz calls for
the mic. Sayth Taz "You ain't nothing but a Sabu wannabe!" Taz tells him he
better worry about being himself and not someone else. Taz also gives him
credit, at least he had the guts to face him, unlike Sabu. Devon takes the
stretcher ride. Steve commented on how well they're building the feud, but
he thinks they really have to have Taz and Sabu do something sometime soon.

We take a brief intermission. For those of you who have been to ECW before,
you know very well, there's no such thing as a short intermission. This one
goes a half hour, don't know why, it didn't seem like they did anything,
no ring work, no pictures, no lighting or camera adjustments seemed to take
place.

Match #5 : Little Guido w/ "The Extreme Italian Stallion" JT Smith v. Axl
Rotten : Guido is Damien Stone. He and JT are now "The FBI" The Full
Blooded Italians. This bit is funny. JT and Guido are pretty entertaining
doing this... and it's a billion times better than the god awful clutz
gimmick. They fix each other's hair during the opening. I think they try to
fix Joel's as well. Guido does some nice match wrestling early on, Axl
eventually gets control and the end comes after Axl hits a stiff clothesline
and follows it up with a modified Powerbomb that has you land face/chest
first on the mat. 1-2-3, Axl wins. Post match, Guido is upset and JT
calms him down telling him it's alright. So JT signs as Guido fixes his
hair.

Match #6 : Sandman & 2 Cold Scorpio w/ Missy Hyatt v. The Bruise Brothers :
Sandman and Scorp each have their own entrance. You can tell Sandman and
Scorp are just have too much damn fun and they're funny as hell. Scorpio
dances with Missy pre-match. Fans chant "Sandman's gotta woody" chant,
Sandman's reply... "YEAH!" They just work great together. 2 Cold starts
with the Bruises and gets thrown around a little. He uses some moves and
gets control, he hits one head scissor move in the corner on one, tries to
do it on the other, but does dumped out over the top rope. Sandman tries to
nail the Bruises with a belt, but the Bruises take over. They start
whipping Sandman, Missy gets on the apron and seems to like it. The Bruise
Brothers ask him this about 4 times. They get distracted, so Sandman I
think hits a low blow on the both of them, goes over to Missy, gets his
beer, and drinks it off her chest. Talk about a hulk up. But it's short
lived as the Bruises come back, only to get hit with a double clothesline
from 2 Cold off the top. End comes with 2 Cold hitting a moonsault press on
one of the Bruises for the pin. 2 Cold and Sandman take off, the fans chant
"Smoking Gunns" at the Bruise Brothers... which wasn't a good idea because
Ron or Don gets a chair... and throws it into the crowd. They then proceed
to challenge fans. I dunno how many more shows we're going to be seeing
with the Bruise Brothers....

Match #7 : "Prime Time" Brian Lee v. Tommy Dreamer : Lee tries to hit
Dreamer with a chair as soon as he comes out and the brawl is on. Dreamer
does a jawbreaker with a chair. Dreamer tries to do the slide into the
chair to the outside, but Lee side steps with the chair and waffles him.
They go into the crowd and brawl around. Later, Lee puts Dreamer under the
railing, and crotches him on the railings by pulling his legs. He also
lifts up the railing on his head a few times. They get in the ring, Tommy
takes over with some DDTs. We get a ref bump, the Bruise Brothers come out
and they do the sandwich chair kick. Dreamer kicks out. The ref is still
dazed. Bruises come back... with a cinderblock.... which they put on
Tommy's crotch... and Lee nails it with a chair. Quote Steve : OW! This is
why you should always wear the correct athletic protection. Tommy isn't
walking too well when he leaves.

Match #8 : Sabu v. Rob Van Dam : Rob has his wrist in a cast. A great
back and forth match with great high spots by both. They tease a few table
spots. Sabu went through the first one after getting pushed off the top rope
setting for something. Sabu put Rob through a second by doing somersault
leg drops out to the floor... it took two attempts because the first time it
didn't break. Van Dam got a chair in the ring as if to do a chair launch to
the floor... but instead he somersault vaulted over the chair and top rope
to the floor onto Sabu. End comes with Sabu doing a chair launch to the top
rope into a rope spring moonsault back over the chair onto Van Dam. Post
match Sabu tries to shake hands, but Van Dam just walks away.

Match #9 : Raven w/ Stevie Richards & Blue Meanie v. Shane Douglas :
Stevie and Meanie come out and do their Diesel/Michaels act that they did in
Queens. Shane comes out with Kimona and says that they've got a secret that
will destroy Raven. Shane says that Beulah was never pregnant. That she
played both Raven and Dreamer for suckers. This draws out Tommy who
threatens to deck Shane. Shane tells them that while she was cheating on
Raven with Tommy, Beulah was cheating on Tommy too... she was cheating
with...

Kimona : "ME!"

Dun-dun-da!

And out comes Beulah and she and Kimona start making out. Tommy grabs the
both of them, I forget the exact wording, but he ends up embracing the both
of them and we've got a new coup... trio... OK... just about a half hour
earlier, Lee turned Dreamer into a fucking Ken doll with a chairshot to a
cement block... now he's got TWO chicks? I guess it's part of his rehab,
he's got one for each... oh, never mind. OK, the bisexual scam to get out
of a possible abortion/loses the baby angle, which I was afraid they were
going to run with the first thing I heard Beulah say "I'm pregnant." But
her leaving with Dreamer, who should have had his crotch soaking in an
igloo cooler, just really made no sense. Post card Steve and I realized we
missed our chance to do Paul E's impersonation of Jerry Jarrett he did at
the Con when Beulah and Kimona were making out.

Anyway, now we've got the match. Raven is on the receiving end of chants of
"Raven's got no pussy"... "He's got Stevie" ... "And the Meanie". Shane
controls most of the match, he gets Raven in the figure four, Meanie tries
to make the save by doing a moonsault, but Shane gets out of the way.
Stevie ends up super kicking him, but Shane kicks out. A Bruise Brother
runs in to interfere, but Dreamer comes out to make the save. In the mean
time, Shane has Raven down for the count as the ref is ushering Dreamer out.
Shane and Dreamer exchange words, with Shane and Tommy going at it briefly.
Shane takes off Raven's foot and goes for the figure four again, another run
in by a Bruise Brother. While Shane fights off Raven's crew, Raven loads up
his boot which is off and nails Shane. Raven gets the win. Post match,
Joey Styles comes into the ring and starts talking with Shane. Shane's
pissed off he didn't win. He says that the World title is the only thing
that means anything to him. This brings out 2 Cold who says that the TV
title has a lot of prestigious too thanks to the people who have fought for
it. 2 Cold's tired of Shane not giving his title credit, he offers Shane a
shot at it. Shane says he doesn't want it. Shane ends up suckering 2 Cold
and nails him with the belt and a belly to belly. Sandman comes into make
the save, but Shane nails him with the belt and Sandman and 2 Cold are left
laid out in the ring.

All in all, a so-so show. Not terrible, not spectacular either. Kind of
guessing on where some of the stuff is/was going. It seems like this was
a transition show for some of the angles.... I dunno. I had a good time
anyway. Steve and I make our bus and end up at my house at 4am. Another
long adventures of LLL comes to a close. Next show for me is unknown as
the next Arena card is the same day as my grandparents' 50th Anniversary.

So till next time, this is Rev. Ray saying...

This note's for you....

--
Ray Duffy, MiSTy #38729, Rev. of ULC, Internet F**khead, As Seen On TV
"You're not cool enough to be my friends" - Steve Ricards on Los Lurkers
Locos
"I've had enough of you, Todd Pettingil!" - Sandman to Joey Styles - ECW TV
http://soho.ios.com/~fender/lll.html : The Los Lurkers Locos Homepage!