WrestleMania IX Mini Match Report
Herb Kunze
PPV that my girlfriend had ordered in response to "phone-begging" by
our cable company. Originally, I was only going to post a note with
our match ratings in it, but I haven't seen a results post yet, so I'll
add some brief results too.
Show-time was at 7:00pm, with the "pre-game" starting at 6:30pm, so we
got together around 4:30pm, thinking that we could watch a little bit
of stuff on video so that the whole day wouldn't be a bust. The video
turned out to be the wrestling highlight of the evening. The tape was
from 02/88-03/88 - it's one of the tapes I still have to watch. There
was a pretty good brawling tag match from All Japan and then we hit
Dump Matsumoto's retirement show from 02/28/88. Wild stuff and not
just a little confusing. It started out as a 1 fall 60 minute tag
match with the Dumpster & Yukari Ohmori vs. Chigusa Nagayo & Lioness
Asuka. The match was insane. One of my favourite moments was when
the Dumpster took the gate off the guardrail and used it as a choking
device, sticking Chigusa's head between the bars. All four ladies
juiced. This was generally **** action, with the ref even taking a
bump or two. Dump came out in full samurai garb. During the match
Curtis and I were awed by her tattoo. I don't know if it's a permanent
job or not, but her whole back and upper arms had a great demonic
picture. So, the match seemingly goes to a countout of some sort
and then Chigusa grabs the mic, yelling something. Somehow, what
she says causes Ohmori to look angrily at Dump. The next thing
you know, Dumpster & Chigusa are raising each other's arms and
we've got a new tag match with the partners swapped. This seems
to be a 5 minute challenge and I guess it went the limit because
it just stopped for no reason. Great action again. That done, Dump
is ready to retire and she actually smiles (!) and hugs all of the
other women. Just incredible.
From the great to the...
WrestleMania IX, 04/05/93
Jim Ross, Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan did commentary. Jim made a
complete ass of himself and is now in my "bad" books. The intro stuff
took close to 10 minutes and was completely mind-numbing. The highlight
included Savage lifting up Heenan's "toga" so that we could see his
blue bikini briefs. This fueled a few underwear jokes later in the
show.
Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels for the IC Title.
Michaels came to the ring with Luna Vachon, who was introduced without
much fanfare. Savage said Luna was a virgin too (like the vestal virgins
in the opening crap) but for other reasons. Sherri Martel came out to
stand in Tatanka's corner, although they just hyped her as anti-Shawn.
The match wasn't too bad, although Tatanka screwed up more than once.
Michaels is so good that he kept things flowing. The incomprehensible
finish had Michaels on the floor being counted out. He reached in and
pulled the referee to the floor and then climbed in to fight Tatanka.
Tatanka got his fallaway slam in, the ref comes in, pats Tatanka on
the back, and after some confusion we learn that Shawn was counted out.
Dusty Rhodes, watching in Atlanta, says "hey, that's my finish!"
The highlight was Luna clotheslining Sherri after the match (Sherri took
a great bump). Tatanka came to the rescue, seemingly unifying him and
Sherri. Images of mixed tag matches run through my mind. ***
Steiners vs. Headshrinkers
Shrinkers work so stiff and the Steiners can take it although they can't
sell it well. There was a long heat segment on Scott. Scotty took a crazy
bump - a stungun or hotshot type move over the top rope to the floor - but
the camera angle wasn't as good as it could have been. Finally, he made
the hot tag and things broke lose. The match was quite even, really, which
was nice. Steiners won with a terrible looking Frankensteiner. ***1/4
The first two matches were the ones I anticipated would be the best of the
night, so I was not looking forward to the rest of the show.
Doink vs. Crush
Workrate?! You Doinkers can give it a rest now. The match consisted of
Doink running out of the ring, trying to crawl under the ring, momentarily
getting the upper hand only to get pounded again. The ref took a bump
and Crush went for the compactor. A second wrestler came in the ring
dressed exactly like Doink and whacked Crush with a fake arm a few times,
did a Vaudeville act with Doink, then ran away. Dusty Rhodes, watching in
Atlanta, says "hey, that could have been my finish!" Ole Anderson, also
in Atlanta, challenged him for ownership. The ref awoke and counted
Crush down. Another ref came out and explained the situation, but the
decision stood. -*1/2 (-**1/2 for the match, but the ending earned a full *)
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Mercifully short. Bob got to do his little shuffle. Ramon got the much
need win to boost his credibility again, pinning Bob with a small package
after only 5 mins or so. 1/2*
Money Inc vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake for the WWF Tag Titles
Hogan had stitches in his eye and a great make-up job. There was really
no reason for this, so maybe there was a legit injury involved. Nothing
special in the match, although Ted took a lot of his pinball bumps, so I
guess his shoulder was okay. The heels finally got the mask off Beefcake's
face and started working his face over. Beefcake sold each punch like
crazy. At one point prior to this, Money Inc left the ring and teased
another walk-out finish like they did against the Natural Disasters on
PPV. Referee and rule-maker Dave Hebner declared that if they didn't
return to the ring in 10 seconds they would forfeit their titles. Anyhow,
Beefer finally made the hot tag, things got crazy, Hebner took a bump.
Both heels were down and both faces covered for pins, but no ref. Jimmy
Hart ran in and turned his jacket inside out, so that black & white
lined pattern was showing and counted down both guys. The ref woke
up and DQ'ed Hogan & Beefcake, which led to Jimmy Hart tossing him
over the top rope. Dusty Rhodes, watching in Atlanta, says "hey, that
could have been my finish!" *1/2
Curt Hennig vs. Lex Luger
Luger came to the ring with four women in thong bikinis. Quality family
entertainment ("mommy, look at the bums!") at its finest here.
Luger was off. It seemed like many moves were flubbed. Hennig took
a few good bumps. The match ended with Luger pinning Hennig, whose feet
were in the ropes. The ref missed that and even though Hennig complained
he lost the match. He stormed out after Luger and got one shot in in the
backstage area before Shawn Michaels attacked him. It looks like Shawn
& Curt are gonna get programmed now. **
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
Undertaker came out with a vulture. Gonzalez doesn't have fur on his
costume any more. The battle of the chokeholds took forever. There was
no wrestling in the match. Surprised?! Finally, Gonzalez knocked out
Paul Bearer and got a cloth with chloroform on it and started to put
Undertaker under. The ref counted to five and Gonzalez didn't break, so
we have a great DQ finish. Undertaker was stretchered out while Dave
Hebner took a choke slam from Gonzalez, bringing Hebner's total bumps
to more than most of the wrestlers on the show. Undertaker is wheeled
out of sight and suddenly appears and lumbers back to the ring. He knocks
Gonzalez off his feet and Gonzalez leaves the ringside area. Dusty Rhodes,
still watching in Atlanta, was starting to feel pretty jealous over all
these great finishes. -**1/2
Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Title
Angle time: before the match, Hogan challenges the winner to a title shot.
Bret really worked his ass off. He was super. Yokozuna can't be on his
feet for more than five minutes at a time, so Hart tripped him up and hooked
his leg in the rope. Yokozuna lay there struggling for a while while
Bret did some nice moves to make it seem like something was happening.
Bret was carrying this to a ** match (well, could we really expect more?)
and then came the finish. Bret had Yokozuna in the sharpshooter (kind of)
and Fuji threw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna got the pin and became WWF
champ. Hogan runs in and explains to the ref what happened. The ref
is oblivious and Hogan reverts to helping Hart out of the ring. Fuji
gets cocky and says his "Yokozuma" will accept Hogan's challenge now.
Hogan gets in the ring, Fuji goes to throw more salt, Hogan ducks,
Yokozuna gets it in the eyes, Hogan does the foot to the face and the
leg drop and gets the pin. Another title change. The finishing sequence
(from the salt on) dropped the match down to *. Dusty Rhode, in Atlanta,
collapsed after this match, in shock over all the great finishes.
Herb...
pat calitri
>Dump came out in full samurai garb. During the match
>Curtis and I were awed by her tattoo. I don't know if it's a permanent
>job or not, but her whole back and upper arms had a great demonic
>picture. So, the match seemingly goes to a countout of some sort
>and then Chigusa grabs the mic, yelling something. Somehow, what
>she says causes Ohmori to look angrily at Dump. The next thing
>you know, Dumpster & Chigusa are raising each other's arms and
>we've got a new tag match with the partners swapped.
This is the only time I think I've needed a translator to tell me
what the hell was going on in a Japanese match. I want to know what
was said, dammit!
>Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels for the IC Title.
>The highlight was Luna clotheslining Sherri after the match (Sherri took
>a great bump).
Nice looking clothesline! (If Luna got rid of the scowl and the Kevin-
Sullivan-impersonation, she'd be a babe).
>Steiners vs. Headshrinkers
>Scotty took a crazy
>bump - a stungun or hotshot type move over the top rope to the floor - but
>the camera angle wasn't as good as it could have been.
We had to rewind it to see it frame by frame. It happened too fast the
first time.
>Steiners won with a terrible looking Frankensteiner. ***1/4
Terrible? You give it too much credit. Even Ross found it difficult to
call that one, and he's seen lots of terrible F'steiners.
>The first two matches were the ones I anticipated would be the best of the
>night, so I was not looking forward to the rest of the show.
But Herb, how bad could it be??
>Doink vs. Crush
>-*1/2 (-**1/2 for the match, but the ending earned a full *)
Just awful. Herb and I differed in our scoring systems. He
seems to believe that going into the negative *'s is valid, whereas
I won't go lower than 0 (of course, I can quantify my 0's). I gave
this match a (big surprise) 0.
>Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Razor beats the wrestler with wrestling. Nice touch, but except for
his dance-stepping shuffle, Backlund was a hurting unit. If Razor
had lost, I would have been pissed. It seems Vince had plans for that
later.
>Money Inc vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake for the WWF Tag Titles
> Hogan had stitches in his eye and a great make-up job. There was really
>no reason for this, so maybe there was a legit injury involved.
At first I thought it looked real, but in the interview later on, it
looked more and more like a makeup job.
>At one point prior to this, Money Inc left the ring and teased
>another walk-out finish like they did against the Natural Disasters on
>PPV. Referee and rule-maker Dave Hebner declared that if they didn't
>return to the ring in 10 seconds they would forfeit their titles. Anyhow,
Where the hell they'd pull this rule out of their hats? Stupid. Anyway,
with Michaels and $$$ Inc retaining, things didn't bode too well for
the Hitman.
>Curt Hennig vs. Lex Luger
> Luger came to the ring with four women in thong bikinis. Quality family
>entertainment ("mommy, look at the bums!") at its finest here.
Ross was in great form, "What a pair!". Sure he was referring to the
pair of ladies escorting Luger. Sure.
>Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
I had to go with another 0 here. But whereas Doink/Crush was just a
plain old "big fat 0", Gonzales/UT was a "resounding 0". This match
was totally unwatchable.
>Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Title
> Angle time: before the match, Hogan challenges the winner to a title shot.
I kept thinking this shot would be next Monday on that mini-PPV that
they're having, but I guess not.
>Bret was carrying this to a ** match (well, could we really expect more?)
If it wasn't for Hart, this would've been another 0 match.
>and then came the finish. Bret had Yokozuna in the sharpshooter (kind of)
>and Fuji threw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna got the pin and became WWF
>champ. Hogan runs in and explains to the ref what happened. The ref
>is oblivious and Hogan reverts to helping Hart out of the ring. Fuji
>gets cocky and says his "Yokozuma" will accept Hogan's challenge now.
>Hogan gets in the ring, Fuji goes to throw more salt, Hogan ducks,
>Yokozuna gets it in the eyes, Hogan does the foot to the face and the
>leg drop and gets the pin. Another title change.
I was thoroughly disgusted with this ending. It was total bullshit, and
an insult to even marv's intelligence. Now we get to watch Hogan pose
and tour for another few months. Hey, with Hogan doing another movie
this summer, he has to lose the title before he leaves--- just in time
for the King of the Ring tourney??? Could the KotR == World Champ?
========================= Fluffy the Wonder Bunny ============================
``Put the wagons in a circle, it's over!''
--- B.Heenan re: Tatanka/Michaels match
====================== pcal...@descartes.waterloo.edu =======================
Daryl Turner
>In article <C50w5...@watdragon.uwaterloo.ca> hek...@jeeves.uwaterloo.ca (Herb Kunze) writes:
>
>>Money Inc vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake for the WWF Tag Titles
>> Hogan had stitches in his eye and a great make-up job. There was really
>>no reason for this, so maybe there was a legit injury involved.
>
>At first I thought it looked real, but in the interview later on, it
>looked more and more like a makeup job.
The friends that I watched it with came up with the idea that Hogan did
something minor to really hurt the eye a bit, but then they used the
makeup, etc. to sell it. The idea that Heenan was trying to sell to
the marks (Money Inc. hiring thugs) just doesn't wash. After all,
aren't Money Inc. supposed to be the best two person team in the world
when it comes to hurting someone? :)
>
>I kept thinking this shot would be next Monday on that mini-PPV that
>they're having, but I guess not.
Now that on Monday Night Raw that they have announced that 4/12 IS going
to be a replay of WM9, and that (hopefully) by this weekend we will have
some ruling on an 'official complaint' by Mr. Fuji on behalf of Yokozuna.
(The whole 'no contract, not sanctioned match' routine.) If Fuji can
protest, why not the Hitman as well (the salt in the eyes, etc.).
>
>
>I was thoroughly disgusted with this ending. It was total bullshit, and
>an insult to even marv's intelligence. Now we get to watch Hogan pose
>and tour for another few months. Hey, with Hogan doing another movie
>this summer, he has to lose the title before he leaves--- just in time
>for the King of the Ring tourney??? Could the KotR == World Champ?
>
If the WWF wanted to be *gasp* consistent, they would strip Hogan of
the title again...after all, the referees' decisions must be final, but
the title did change hands under some suspicious circumstances.
(However, I am not going to be holding my breath awaiting any sort of
consistency from the WWF.)
Daryl
Rod Hutchings
>Money Inc vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake for the WWF Tag Titles
> Hogan had stitches in his eye and a great make-up job. There was really
>no reason for this, so maybe there was a legit injury involved. Nothing
>special in the match, although Ted took a lot of his pinball bumps, so I
>guess his shoulder was okay. The heels finally got the mask off Beefcake's
>face and started working his face over. Beefcake sold each punch like
>crazy. At one point prior to this, Money Inc left the ring and teased
>another walk-out finish like they did against the Natural Disasters on
>PPV. Referee and rule-maker Dave Hebner declared that if they didn't
>return to the ring in 10 seconds they would forfeit their titles. Anyhow,
>Beefer finally made the hot tag, things got crazy, Hebner took a bump.
>Both heels were down and both faces covered for pins, but no ref. Jimmy
>Hart ran in and turned his jacket inside out, so that black & white
>lined pattern was showing and counted down both guys. The ref woke
>up and DQ'ed Hogan & Beefcake, which led to Jimmy Hart tossing him
>over the top rope. Dusty Rhodes, watching in Atlanta, says "hey, that
>could have been my finish!" *1/2
I may be mistaken here, Herb, but I was sure that the ref that Jimmy Hart
threw out of the Ring was Danny Davis, and Not Dave Hebner. Hebner was out
when Jimmy did the reversal of the jacket and counted down Miney Inc. Then
when Hebner came to, Davis came down and explained what transpired to
Hebner. Hence the disqualification.
Cheers,
Rodney
--
rod...@garfield.cs.mun.ca | "Give the Clown credit, he beats
Rod Hutchings | up cowboys AND Indians"
The opinions above are mine and mine | - Christopher Robin Zimmerman
alone. So there! Nyah Nyah Nyah :^) | (rec.sport.pro-wrestling)