6-27 WCW Center Stage
Dagan LaMont Burrell
that a lot of you don't really like to sift through just to get some
match results. If you are one of those people, you better skip this one,
cause I just love putting that unnecessary, often childish stuff in. Be
warned.
Yes, another ... (exciting? thrilling? depressing?) ... another
night of WCW television tapings at the Center Stage began for me as I
arrived in my humble chariot at around 4:30pm. Already making the scene
were The Immortal James Raggi, Dave the $15 Man and friend, as well as
the usual conglomeration of humanoid excreta which generally makes up the
Center Stage crowd. Truly a rainbow of humanity. Our group would later
swell to it's full numbers as the infamous Hudson Hummingbird and troupe
would join us, as well as the ever wise-cracking Stephen De Truth.
Thanks go out to WCW for picking what must of been the hottest
day of the year for us to wait in line. For those of you who've never
been to this mecca in the vast Atlantean metropole, it's right next door
to a large glass encased building, so we lucky fans got to stand in 90+
degree weather, catching the sun from two sides. I was thoroughly
roasted by the time we made it inside (late as always).
All this, we find, for ten matches, and we don't even get our
usual good seats. WCW has taken to bussing in kids and, er, special fans
and getting them the front seats while we who've waited in the sweltering
heat get stiffed with bad ones. Okay, whatever, at least they air
condition the place. Some WCW "official" gets on the house mic and
starts practically berating everybody about how "I don't like the way
things have been going lately when we try to give out stuff to the
kids." They used to stand down front, and throw stuff into the stands,
and he's yelling at us for not sitting down while they do it. Moron.
Wildcat Willy makes a brief appearance, and he's over huge with that
special crowd I mentioned earlier. Perhaps he's found his cat-niche in
life.
Dave the $15 Man (everybody's got a price) and his crew move down
closer when they spot front row seats so he can torment veteran cameraman
Jackie Crockett. As soon as he comes out, Crockett spots him and he and
Willy take turns taunting him. Dave produces his "Kill Wildcat Willy"
Tshirt (with the lovely Cat pointing a gun at his own head motif on the
back) in defense. Willy purposely straddles the top rope to no effect...
hmmmmmm. Dave Pincer makes his way out, still in that ridiculous tie and
cummerbund (white with black... designs... ug-a-lee). We give him (not
for the only time of the night, to be sure) a loud "We want Gary" at
which he kinda looks our way and says, "Thanks" over the house mic. No
problem, big guy. Willy begins holding up signs that say things like
"KFC" and "Clap" and "Boo" for the crowd to react to, so I yell out when
it gets a bit quiet, "Hey, look, Willy has the Clap!" Sitting behind a
row of "Special" attendees, this did not go over as I'd hoped. Many
confused faces. Our free offer of Pepsi Big Slams after the show is
announced (I went out early, and they had about 40 of them for a group of
around 700-800 people). A mention of Steve Lombardi brought out the
question, "If Lombardi was running this special promotion, would they be
free Butt Slams?" Tasteless I realize, but please, think of the heat we
endured to be here.
Vader vs. Rob Toro (or something like that)
Okay folks, recite after me, 'Vader is one big sumbitch.' When
he comes out, he's bad-mouthing Flair for the cameraman, so I'm guessing
that the Vader turn will happen at the Bash at the Beach. They give
angles away so bad at this place, like they don't even care. Stupid.
Can you imagine the match? Vader is his usual mat wrestling self...
right. HARD powerbomb for the pin, disappointing the Immortal One who'd
called fro him to end it with the Shooting Star Press.
Renegade w/ Jimmy Hart vs. some Roid Boy jobber
Jimmy Hart works twice as hard cheerleading than Renedork does in
the ring. I guess this match is Roid Boy vs. former roid boy. Let me
describe the intense action for you people: Clothesline from Renegade...
and another. He tries to dropkick the guy in the back and hits him in
the butt awkwardly (do I really have to add that for this guy?).
Powerslam and the big splash for the pin. What a stiff. The Immortal
One pipes in with "You know, that guy is definitely a Renegade Warrior...
he wrestles like a dead Youngblood." Bwahaha
Thanks to the wonderful mumbling of Dave Pincer, who reminds the
crowd of the next ppv, The Immortal One begins claiming that WCW has been
inspired by OJ Simpson in calling their next PPV Bash the Bitch. Sherry
must have a huge roll in this. Maybe they'll bring in Elizabeth?!
Buck and Slater w/Parker vs. Julio Sanchez and Terry Jackson
Dick and Buck (what a lovely pair of names, eh?) are the World
Tag Team Champions (this is the week after they won the belts from
Harlem Heat, who won't win the belts until Bash at the Beach... does this
mean they beat the old Freebird mark for longest negative title run?) and
Buck is pretty funny showing off his belt. Terry Jackson comes out
dressed in work gloves, overalls and a engineers hat, prompting the
thought in me "Hey look, it's El Hijo del Jake "the Milkman" Milliman!"
Slater puts one of the jobbers in the abdominal stretch, and The
Immortal One asks if anyone has ever stretched Dick. I said I didn't
know, and that brought to mind another question from me, "Has Antonio
Inoki ever put Dick in the Octopus?" A question as profound as the
number of licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, to be sure. Buck
and Slater with their usual fine repetoir of coordinated moves,
ending with the height of smooth tag transitions: Buck with a big right,
into a belly to back from Slater, into an off the rope stomp to the head
for the pin. Truly poetry in motion. Col. Parker and the champs do an
interview in which he calls Sherry a "hen." Sherry comes out (in a new
outfit inspired by Cher's bare midriff era, painted on being an
understatement) and tells him off as best Sherry can (great bumps, nice
looking, terrible on the mic) and they set up for the next Clash of
Champions a match in which Harlem Heat and Sherry will take on Buck,
Slater, and Parker in a six man, er, person match.
Renegade w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Lt. James Earl
Since I did play by play last time, I won't this time, although
it was practically the same match. He did dump the dropkick, though.
The powerslam left Earl about 8 miles from the corner Renegade chose, so
he had to put a leg down to make it to him on the splash and get the
pin.
Craig "Pittbull" Pittman vs. Chris Hinton
Pincer makes Pittman's name sound like "Pimple" Pittman.
Genius. Nick Patrick is really making a mess of this one for some
reason, so Hudson starts yelling "Where's Tommy Rich when you need him!"
[er, Tommy put Tommy Young out for good once, for those of you who don't
know] Hinton falls out of the ring on his head once. Pittman always
looks like Mr. Happy in the ring, don't he? This match is WAY too long.
Pittman does the little pushup minisplashes that are funny to watch. He
gives the headbutts in teh corner instead of shoulders. Hinton submits
to the Code Red. Hudson yells out "Hey Pittman, Shamrock, Royce
Gracie... and Hillbilly Festus could kick your ass!"
KImala and Tsunami w/ Kevin Sullivan vs. the fake Blackhearts
(Especialistas)
Hudson refers to Sullivan as "The Ticketmaster." Kimala does the
gimmick where he doesn't understand the idea of a tag match so The Great
White EArthquake Avalanche Shark Tsunami or whatever Tenta is calling
himself (in some ridiculous shark tights) this week. This match has less
heat than any I have ever seen, as Tenta is in the ring the whole time
with Kimala occasionally running in to chop on the jobber. It's really
lame. A true test for WCW post production. I told Hudson that this crap
wouldn't get over in North Georgia, much less in WCW, and he says if it
doesn't work in WCW they'll sure try it in NGWA.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Rocky Mountain Thunder
You know, for years now I've been proclaiming Jim Duggan the
worst wrestler of all times. I have now been proven wrong, for I have
seen him in a match with his ... lesser. Hudson even warns us that RMT
is legendarily the worst. The man is a master of understatement.
Thunder is so bad that we take to cheering Duggan incessantly. As the
Shah is over in ECW, now with us, Duggan is over here in Atlanta. The
crowd chants USA, and James yells "Yeah Duggan, get that evil foreign
menace!" RMT with some ridiculously bad double axe handle shots. This
match is the Energizer bunny, it keeps going adn going. Duggan gets RMT
in a bear hug, and we start chanting that WE give up! I haven't laughed
as hard at wrestling in my life as I did during this... contest.
Horrible can only begin to describe it. Near the end we chant "Five Star
Match." Hacksaw hits RMT with the Hacksaw clothesline, and RMT kicks out
and DUggan has to recover him to get the pin. Horrendous, yet as funny a
thing as I've ever seen with a little help from my friends. According to
one of our friends in the Atlanta Police Dept who works security, Duggan
really gave RMT an ass chewing after the match and they even had to
retape another Duggan match later on (lucky us, we got to cheer him
again)!!!! All I can say is this, Rocky Moutain Thunder makes the
Renegade look like All Japan's Misawa.
Harlem Heat w/ Sherry vs. Mark Starr and Frankie Lancaster
Thumper is over big with me... and no one else. Hey, I gotta be
me. YOur basic Heat squash, except Stevie Ray seems to want to let the
jobber beat on him. The Immortal One screams out "Heat ME!" Stevie Ray
is one bad worker, and I take to calling him Stevie Mountain Thunder. On
the other hand, Booker T is awesome. Thumper gets a long rest outside
the ring, so De Truth yells down "Pretty easy work, eh Thumper?" and gets
a dirty look. Oh, if only we had known what was to come. Thumper tags
in and gets the Harlem Hangover, but he was too close to the corner and
Booker T sits on his face, almost knocking him out and maybe screwing up
his ear for real. The trainer had to come out to get FRankie out of the
ring.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Jimmy Richards
This is the retape of the earlier match which was so bad even
post production couldn't save it. We're putting Duggan over HUGE and
having a blast doing it. We're USAing and HOOOOing (complete with a big
thumbs sideways for Jim) like mad, giving a big OHHH when he hits
anything. Duggan with the clothesline (shock and amazement).
Marcus Bagwell and Johnny B. Badd vs. The Blue Bloods
Absolutely the funniest tag team must be the Blue Bloods. We
could never really find the right way to taunt Baghead about his latest
calf implant fiasco. We tried "Nice legs Bagwell Nice legs" and
"Silicon" but never really found anything that worked well. Plus, with
the mark crowd, almost nobody knew what we were talking about. Johnny is
over so huge with the Center Stage crowd. Immortal One thinks Bobby is
wearing Superman's tights. Baghead has Regal pinned but Bobby hits the
legdrop off the top and Regal pins him for the win. You know, BAgwell
shoulda kicked out, but he just didn't have the leg strength.
Thus ended the wrestling for the evening. Dave and Jackie
Crockett got into their usual push and shove screw around fest afterwards
and we chatted with Terry Taylor who is now on the booking committee (for
whatever that's worth). Nice guy. Overall, a great night, but more
because of the people I was with than anything WCW did. Duggan/Rocky
Mountain Thunder would be the bootleg must see of the year, I swear.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm outta here. Later on.
histo
TJ White
> Buck and Slater w/Parker vs. Julio Sanchez and Terry Jackson
> Dick and Buck (what a lovely pair of names, eh?) are the World
> Tag Team Champions (this is the week after they won the belts from
> Harlem Heat, who won't win the belts until Bash at the Beach... does this
> mean they beat the old Freebird mark for longest negative title run?) and
Uh, Harlem Heat have ALREADY won the tag belts. They won it last week
on World Wide, and replayed the match on The Main Event. My guess is
that the (speculated) Triangle Match for Bash will be to determine who
will wrestle Bunk and Slater as #1 contenders.
John Petrie
> Dagan LaMont Burrell (hi...@atl1.america.net) wrote:
> > Buck and Slater w/Parker vs. Julio Sanchez and Terry Jackson
> > Dick and Buck (what a lovely pair of names, eh?) are the World
> > Tag Team Champions (this is the week after they won the belts from
> > Harlem Heat, who won't win the belts until Bash at the Beach... does this
> > mean they beat the old Freebird mark for longest negative title run?)
> Uh, Harlem Heat have ALREADY won the tag belts. They won it last week
> on World Wide, and replayed the match on The Main Event. My guess is
> that the (speculated) Triangle Match for Bash will be to determine who
> will wrestle Bunk and Slater as #1 contenders.
The problem is Harlem Heat has been seen with the belts for several weeks.
I don't know for certain, but it seems to me that WCW may have played
a bogus match to explain a title change that never happened, but was
meant to at BAB. If you watch the match closely, it looks like a Heat
title defense, maybe taped earlier this year, rather than a Nasty Boys
defense. This doesn't really explain how or why Buck & Slater came up
with the belts, but hey... it's WCW!
Of course, I could be wrong.
John Petrie
Future WCW Television Champion.