Vince's office [fiction]

[Jonatha Steckelberg]

I was driving home saturday morning (a three-hour drive, a three-hour
drive...) and because of the long boring ride thru America's beautiful
and boringly flat Illinois prairie, I began thinking about what a day in
the head office of any promotion would be like. I started putting some
situations together in my head, which is now a little story I call...

"A Day In Vince's Office."

Vince is in his office writing out a check, Kona Crush is sitting in a
chair in front of the desk. "Here you go Brian," says Vince. "sorry,
that we couldn't get you a contract, but hey, next year we'll still
probably need some warm bodies in the Royale Rumble. We'll give you the
same deal: you come in, throw some guys out, then get thrown out by one of
the last few guys in."
"Thanks, bruddah." Says Crush as he walks out the door with his check.
Shawn Micheals walks in reading a script labelled "Monday Night Raw."
"You called chief?" asks Shawn.
"Yes, we have some script changes for next week's show. During the
Undertaker vs. Jumbo Barretta match, when Undertaker gives Jumbo a flying
clothesline, instead of saying 'oh my' I'll say 'Unbelievable' so you can
say 'Speaking of unbelievable, remember who won this year's Royale
Rumble?' then I'll add something to the fact that you may have won it by
cheating."
"Gotcha," says Micheals. "Do I still call Undertaker a 'Mean Mark?'"
"Um, yeah, we'll put it in earlier in the match."
"Okeedokee." says Shawn. As Shawn leaves, Vince's secretary enters
carrying some envelopes.
"Here's today's mail." She says.
"Thanks, Betty, what's next on my schedule?"
"Jim Ross has an appointment about booking future matches."
"Tell him to give me all his ideas and I'll give them approval when I see
the scenarioes." Betty nods and leaves.
Vince looks at his mail. "Let's see, electric bill, water bill, lawyer
bill, bill from the doctor, Oh, a postcard from Jaques Rugeau 'Dear Vince,
I'm really enjoying my retirement. I hope everything's going good in the
WWF. The Mrs. and I plan on coming in for your Wrestlemania party.' What
a great guy that Jaques, too bad I had to lose such a fine human being."
Vince looks at a letter from Atlanta, Ga. It reads:

Dear Vince,
Congratulations on your recent pay per view, we hear it beat our
recent Clash Of The Champions shown in the same week on TBS. We at
WCW are happy about your continued success. I'm glad to hear that you
are pushing Kevin Nash, I always knew he'd be a great champion, I'm just
sad that he can't be a champion for us. On a similar note, since your
recent flack about us giving Ray Traylor a prison guard gimmick, and
his inability to draw heat as a Guardian Angel, we've decided to turn
him back into Big Bubba Rogers! What a stroke of booking genius that
was! I'm not going to give any future plans away, but guess who we're
going to fued him with in a couple months? Well I'm not going to tell
you, but he used to be one of your biggest WWF champions and we got 'im
now! Anyhow, I hope to hear from you soon, give my best wishes to your
family.
Sincerly,
Eric Bischoff
P.S. Our next pay per view is going to beat the pants off of your
next pay per view! We got Sting AND Randy Savage (formerly of WWF)
against Avalance (I think you called him Earthquake) and Bubba Rogers.
Eric

Vince finishes reading the letter and buzzes his secretary.
"Yes, Mr. Mcmahon?"
"Betty, write a letter to Eric for me, give him warm regards then tell
him about all of our WWF talent that used to go nowhere in WCW."
"Right away, Mr. Mcmahon."
Vince looks at the last letter, it's a thank you note from the Mantuar."

Dear Mr. McMahon,
Thankyou for bringing me into the World Wrestling Federation, its
great to be a part of a New Generation of talent. Mostly, thanks for
letting me get rid of that stupid bull's head.
Mantuar

Betty buzzes Vince "You have a phone call sir."
Vince picks up his phone "Hello?"
"Hey little dude, how's my favorite Hulkamaniac?"
"Terry! Hey, great to hear from you."
"Well, brother, I just called to see how you were doing. I haven't
talked to you since the trial. Sorry about trying to sell you up the
river, little buddy."
"Hey don't worry about it, I would've done the same, I hear that you've
been keeping yourself busy."
"You know it, brother," Replies Hogan. "WCW has me on a much more
rigorous schedule than you did, I just teamed up with The Macho Brother
to wrestle Kevin Sullivan and Brother Brutii, now I gotta wrestle the
Avalance for next Sunday's Main Event, I haven't ever wrestled more
than one match a month and I need all of my Hulkamaniacs rooting for me!"
"Well, you beat him before, I'm sure you'll do fine."
"Yeah, because I follow the demandments of Hulkamania. I train, eat my
vitamins, and say my prayers, I also believe in myself, listen to my
parents, and don't stay out too late. Well, brother, the Hulkster's
gotta get going, Are we still having Easter Breakfast together?"
"Sure, tell Randy to come, too."
"That's great, brother, see you later." Hogan hangs up and Betty buzzes
Vince again.
"it's Marty Jannety on the phone again, Mr. McMahon, he says he wants to
talk to you."
"Again?" Vinces eyes roll. "I thought we finnally got riod of him."
"He says he wants one more chance," says Betty. "He says he's sorry about
the incident with Alundra's gym bag."
"Oh lord... Tell him I'm busy, tell him I'll be in meetings all week or
that I got called to jury duty or something."

The end
What do you think, sirs?

Jon Mad Dog Steckelberg

[sbrei...@vaxa.hofstra.edu]

That was hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!! The scary thing is that I could see some of
these things actually happening. You forgot about Vince opening his desk drawer
and finding a vaseline container with the name "Patterson" written on it.

[WE...@vm.temple.edu]

In article <3h656o$4...@ecom3.ecn.bgu.edu>

>That was really cute!!!! I enjoyed that. If you think of any more stories
like that, I hope you post them. -Jenni






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| * * "IT'S CHECKOUT TIME!" * * |
| * * -SHAWN MICHAELS * * |
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[Doctor W]

If you ever come up with another day in Vince's office, please post it.
That was great. I was LOL!

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Lisa:"Beware the Ides of March."
Homer:"No!"
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I'm not responsible for the misuse or misinterpretation of my ideas or
opinions.
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