ECW 12/9 Report (long with soapbox)
David Chapman
got back on Sunday. Anyway, here is the run-down of the entire
weekend:
My plane was delayed ~45 minutes due to the snow. I left St. Louis
around 9:20 and arrived in Baltimore at 12:30am EST. My friends John
and Mike had driven up from St. Louis (13 hour drive) and had arrived
in Baltimore 3 hours earlier. This gave them enough time to A) find a
hotel (I wished that they had waited since the room they got was $60 a
night and I am certain that I could find one for less - seems to be a
talent with me as I found a place just outside Las Vegas that had a
double for $17.99) and B) spend 2 hours driving around looking for
beer so that they could pick me up from the airport drunk.
At the airport, I showed them (much to their delight) the Cheri
magazine with Beulah in it. We then went to the hotel to settle in.
Some Drew Barrymore movie was playing on Showtime and I quickly
decided that it was time to hit Baltimore and check out "the block".
"The Block" is basically a city-block stretch of what most people
refer to as the "red-light district". We arrived at around 1:40 and
hit some porn shops to see what Baltimore had to offer.
Surprisingly, they had just about anything you could want. We then
got ready to hit the strip clubs only to find out that it was 2:05am.
What's the big deal about 2:05am? Well, in Baltimore, EVERYTHING
closes at 2:00am. We got to see some of the girls walking out of the
clubs but otherwise, out night was over. We returned to the hotel,
requested a 10:00 am wake-up call, and proceeded to discover that we
did not in fact have beds to sleep on, but wooded planks with sheets
on them. After a rather unpleasant nights sleep, the phone rang at
10:00 to wake us.
A brief stop at McDonalds and then it was off to Baltimore since John
wanted to see the grave of Edgar Allen Poe. We got to the grave and
the church seemed to be locked up. We found an open entrance only to
be blocked by movers who informed us that there was a wedding going on
and we had to bugger off. Slightly disappointed, we headed out only
to find the grave and John got to get some pictures of it. After
that, we decided to head on to Philly.
Philadelphia is about 2 hours from Baltimore and once we hit the city,
we went about trying to find the ECW arena. We found a few strip
bars (I always seem to be able to find those) and after a while we
actually located the ECW arena. Not quite the silver and marble
shimmering spectacle I didn't expect it to be, this building was
pretty much exactly like I imagined it would be. We headed around
the corner to see if we could locate some beer for Mike & John.
Without even trying, we stumbled upon Mike's dream come true - a store
that looked like a beer joint from the outside but was actually a
warehouse of every beer known to man and cases upon cases of it.
After picking up Mike's jaw and some beer, we headed out.
We walked around the place looking for film for John's camera and just
trying to find something to do. We wound up in a Toys-R-Us so I
could look for Godzilla toys. I actually found a Battra with sound
effects that I was looking for. While we were there, I realized that
I would need and umbrella since it was starting to rain and my hair
might fall (you have to see me to understand that one). The only
umbrella I could find was a Bugs Bunny one. Since it was only 5 bucks
I bought it (this umbrella will come into play later on).
After walking around aimlessly for a while, we decided to head to Tony
Lukes which was recommended to us. Admittedly, on the outside Tony
Luke's looks like a dive but the food was some of the best that I have
ever had and cheaply priced to boot. We met "hat-guy" there and quite
honestly, he was NOT very friendly. Perhaps he was having a bad day.
Even though it was only 4:00 we decided to head over to the ECW arena.
Surprisingly, we were not the first people to show up. There were
around 20 people in line to get tickets and another 20 waiting to get
in the door. It was EXTREMELY cold at this point so we decided to
wait in the car. After about an hour we got out and decided to get
in line since people were really starting to show up at this point.
The doors opened at 6:00 and we waited in the cold as the temperature
continued to drop. Several wrestlers showed up while we were
waiting. Tod Gordon showed up with Woman first. He was driving a
Cadillac - so ECW has not been unkind to Mr. Gordon. Woman is as
friendly as she is beautiful. Other wrestlers showed up including
Taz, The Eliminators, Alphonso (who did a little tit-a-tat with the
crowd), Dr. Tom Prichard, 911, Raven and Richards (both looked
EXTREMELY pissed and unfriendly), Mantaur (from the WWF) and The
Sandman who had the line of the night as he was walking through the
crowd with his wife and a case of beer - the crowd asked for a beer
and the Sandman said, "Take the woman, not my beer!"
After I lost feeling in my feet, they finally let us in. The arena
filled up quickly and between people watching and going through the
souvenir stands, it quickly became 7:30 and show time!
NOTE: The matches may not be in the correct order as I am doing them
from memory.
Opening bout was an introduction of a new tag team, The Bad Crew.
Basically, these guys were the nasty boys (although not quite so ugly)
with a Managers and a valet that had a scary face, one hell of a body
(including breasts that runneth over) and was EXTREMELY scantily clad.
They took on the Dudley's who were WAY over. Not that bad of a match
with Buh Buh Ray getting the chairshot of the evening. I didn't see
it, but I definitely heard it. Match ends with Dudley's getting the
pin. This was the first indication that something was wrong with
this card and possibly the ECW altogether. I found it strange that
Paul E. would bring in a rather good team just to job them out against
the already over Dudleys. Not typical Paul E.
Second bout was Tax versus El Puerto Ricano (AKA UBAS, AKA The Man
Formerly Known as UBAS). A total squash match for Taz. Once again,
what is Paul E. doing? We know El Puerto can work and even though
he is small, there is nothing stopping him from earning the fans
respect much like Mikey has. Even if you have no plans for him, a
total squash doesn't build up Taz anymore than he already is and
really cheapens the product. Afterwards, Alphonso comes out and
literally for over 10 minutes dares anyone (including 911 and/or Sabu)
to come out and face Taz. For about 5 minutes I sat on the edge of
my seat waiting for someone, anyone to come out. For the last 5
minutes I sat back in my chair (and I never thought I'd be saying this
about an ECW event) BORED. At this point I am wondering if Paul E.
has died or been drugged or just what the hell is going on?
Third match is Hack Meyers versus Mantaur (uh, sorry Bruiser Mastino).
I've never seen Mastino in real life and he is HUGE. Sub-average
match probably due to Mastino still growling like he was in Mantaur
character. Hack with the win. Ok, now that is two new people
introduced and jobbed out immediately. Something is REALLY wrong
here.
Fourth match is the first in a series of three matches that would
effect the advantage of Ultimate Jeopardy '95. Whichever team has
members of its team take 2 of the 3 matches prior would have the
advantage in Ultimate Jeopardy '95. This match was the Pit Bulls
versus the Eliminators. Classic ECW brawl with The Eliminator's
impressing the hell out of me each time I see them. Francine even
got into it with Jason - going so far as to give him a chair shot or
two. During this scuffle, Francine's already short vinyl shorts rode
so far up her ass that I don't see how she could walk. I know she
knew what was up (pun intended) and proceeded to prance around the
ring making sure everyone saw. Nothing like appealing to the lowest
base denominator. Eliminator's get the win. Raven's team is up 1
match to none.
Fifth match was Raven versus Dreamer. Didn't take long for this one
to break-down and I finally got to see Beulah in real life. I used
to love her, now I worship her. Beulah is tiny. Plain and simple -
and that's the way I like my women. This match poured out into the
stands and eventually up to the crow's nest where Raven clocked
Dreamer with a beer bottle. This sent the "paramedics" and Tod
Gordon running, Dreamer is stretchered out and Raven gets the victory.
This seals Raven's team's advantage in Ultimate Jeopardy '95. This
kinda scared me since I thought we wouldn't see the Public Enemy,
Heavenly Bodies match. Also, during this match Dreamer uses an apple?
pie on Raven and the clean-up crew came out after the match. I will
comment on this and the crowd later.
Sixth match was J.T. Smith versus Tony Stetson. Another squash match
that was actually pretty lame by any standards.
Seventh match was the triangle match with Mikey, Steve Austin and The
Sandman. Mikey comes out first to a nice pop. Austin comes out
second with a slightly larger pop and recently shaved head. Mikey
and Steve go at it with Austin "taking Mikey to school" for most of
the match. After about 5 minutes, the Sandman's music plays and the
place goes nuts. Once again, the Sandman proves he is the ultimate
fan favorite. Woman is wearing a stunning purple evening gown and
looks amazing as always. This actually will become important later
on. Austin pins Mikey shortly after that and the real feud beings.
Sandman and Austin fight all over the place with chairs and tables.
Eventually, Austin lays Sandman out, grabs a beer from Woman and
climbs the opposite turnbuckle from where Sandman lies to mockingly
drink the beer. While this is going on, Woman procures (not a
crossface chicken wing but) a beer and pours some down the
"unconscious" Sandman's mouth. He immediately Hulks Up......uh, I
mean springs up and takes it to Austin. Sandman with the pin and your
NEW ECW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - THE SANDMAN!!! The place erupts like
crazing and everyone is happy.
Eighth match is the Public Enemy versus the Heavenly Bodies. I was
really looking forward to this match and they didn't disappoint. The
highlight of my evening came when Rocco Rock was beating on Jimmy Del
Rey right next to me in the stands. I handed the first thing I could
find (my aforementioned Bugs Bunny umbrella) to my friend who handed
it to Rocco. By the grace of god he grabbed it and pummeled Del Ray
with it. The fans around the arena were nice enough to get the
damaged umbrella back to me and if I ever get a fireplace it is going
over the mantle. Excellent match with Public Enemy getting the win.
When the public enemy first came out the "Please don't go" shouts were
deafening. By the end of the evening, things had changed. More
later.
Brief intermission while the cage was set up. EXTREMELY uneventful
except for seeing Hack Meyers go to check the sales on his souvenir
stand.
Ninth match - Ultimate Jeopardy '95. Raven's team had the advantage
and it was supposed to be Raven versus Johnny Grunge. Dreamer comes
out and says, "fuck that" and takes over for Grunge as Raven flees the
cage. One of the Eliminators comes in and the match in under way.
Eventually, Raven, Richards and both the Eliminator's were just
beating on Dreamer and one of the Pit Bulls. Sorry Paul E., but
BORING. Finally we got all men into the ring and the juice fest
began. EVERYONE (except Rocco and Dr. Tom Prichard, I think) bled
with one of the Eliminators and one of the Pitbulls having a total
crimson mask. Eventually, Raven hand-cuffed The Public Enemy and The
Pit Bulls to the ring apron just as Dreamer pined Richards. Richards
had to spend five minutes in the ring with the opposing team - but
why? Dreamer is too fucked up to do anything and the others are
hand-cuffed to the apron. As soon as Dreamer starts to kick ass,
Raven interferes and everyone follows suit. Soon we have all the "bad
guys" beating on all the "good" guys handcuffed to the apron.
Eventually someone let one of the Pit Bulls free, he kicks ass as all
the "bad guys" bail. Eventually everyone else is unlocked except for
Rocco who has broke the steel chain between the cuffs (is Rocco a stud
or what?). The "bad guys" are back now and kick everyone's ass.
I am sure at this point the show was supposed to end as the "good
guys" lay in agony in the ring. However, it was VERY apparent to
everyone in the arena that Ultimate Jeopardy '95 simply didn't work.
Everyone there was left empty and more than a little bored. I guess
Paul E. was in the building because when he saw that the event had
failed he did the one thing that would send everyone home with a
smile. Cue "Enter Sandman" by Metallica and you have the solution.
Sandman comes to the ring and proceeds to cane everyone. The crowd
is going bonkers at this point and we are happy again. Oddly enough,
Woman comes out to the ring wearing.....a gray Sandman T-shirt, USA
flag shorts and white tights with sneakers! Huh? That's right,
woman got down. She even swilled some beer and smoked some smokes.
As a final toast to having fun, Woman wiggled her gorgeous butt in our
direction. We left really happy!
This done, the crowd left buzzing. We hit the car and decided to
chill, waiting to see what wrestlers would come out of the building
after everyone had left. Much to our delight, just about every
wrestler came out that door. One of the first was Beulah who was a
sheer delight - very funny and, breaking my heart on one hand while
making me feel good for him on the other, left with Mikey Whipwreck -
and I don't mean a "bummed a ride to the airport" lefty him either.
Just about every other wrestler came out and one gentleman in
particular made it a point to bug every single one of them. The only
one to stop and say anything was Hack Meyers who thanked everyone and
signed an autograph or two. Raven and Richards were - without a
doubt - total assholes who didn't even smile or acknowledge the people
there. In fact, just about every wrestler seemed really pissed. Big
Dick came out and drove - that's right Big Dick can operate heavy
machinery - off with Jimmy Del Ray. Finally, the Sandman with his
wife and Woman came out. The Sandman's wife started gently caning
everyone and Sandman countered with a, "hey, don't cane my fans" He
was generally pleasant even though you could tell he wanted to leave
and Woman made an effort to be way nice to everyone. They eventually
drove off and we pretty much resigned ourselves back to the hotel
since we would be getting back around 2:00am (everything would be
closed) and I had to get up at 6:00am to get my return flight.
All and all, the event was incredible from that standpoint of never
having gone before and just as a fun experience all around. Now, I
get to get on my soapbox:
The fans at the ECW arena were pretty clearly split into 3 groups.
The largest group were the people that were there to have fun. They
joined in on some of the funnier chants but otherwise just enjoyed
themselves. The other two groups were probably evenly split in
numbers. One group was the people that sit in the bleachers that
show up on camera. They were EXTREMELY cool and EXTREMELY funny,
starting most of the chants of the evening. The last group is the
group I would like to talk about. Unfortunately, it was not just one
or two people, but patches of people throughout the arena. I will
simply call these people the Crudes for that is what they are.
When Francine comes out, she projects an image of a slut. Plain and
simple and she makes no qualms about it. Hoots and hollers mixed with
cat calls and an occasional joking "show your tits" would be fine.
The Crudes quickly went into the "cunt", "whore", "bitch" and "suck my
cock" sneers and attempted chants. I say attempted but since the
whole arena didn't join in, just the Crudes, you can't really call it
a chant. When Beulah came out, the Crudes really layed into her -
making references to her Cheri spread and her "box". These would be
expected (albeit in a more humorous fashion) but "Beulah I'd like to
stick my dick in your box you slutty cunt" [actual quote] is not
humorous. However, Beulah seems to be trying to do more in the sport
than be an outlet for the Crudes as she has taken more than one bump,
attacked Bill Alphonso - who we all hate and generally gone above and
beyond the call of a wrestling "cunt". Additionally, if these men
knew how much she got paid to do that Cheri spread they may think
twice about some of their comments. Finally Woman came out and I was
glad that I wouldn't have to listen to the Crudes since the was Woman
for crists sake -the epitome of class - not someone any
self-respecting man would consider calling a "cunt". Unfortunately,
the Crudes are classless and have no self-repsect. Yes, even woman
got called every name in the book. If I could have moved out of my
spot, I swear on anything you find sacred that on 12./9/95 history
would have been made as the date that the first fan was put through a
table by another fan. Considering all that Woman as well as Beulah
and Francine have done for this sport and ECW in particular, it makes
me wonder what in-breeding created these Crudes.
Are the stupid comments reserved for women only? Hell no. Jason
was, of course, the target of the Crudes. A perfect example of the
difference is here. The fans in the bleachers started a chant of
"Where's your dress?" Perfectly harmless, funny and intelligent
enough to reference the Raggy Ass Ho Match. The Crudes countered with
"Jason's a fucking faggot" [actual quote / chant]. I can somewhat
see that one, but the Crudes even attacked the maintenance man as he
cleaned the ring. It's a guy doing his job for crists sake - maybe
if the Crudes had one they'd understand.
Now I know that people are going to say, "You missed the point, these
people aren't serious, they are just venting frustration." I could
really go along with that, up to a point. These guys weren't
laughing and they didn't have smiles on their faces. We aren't
talking about one or two people here either. In a crowd of around
2000 people, I'd easily say that 1000 people were there to have a good
time, 500 people were bleacher bum fanatics and 500 were the Crudes.
Besides that, I am frustrated too, but you would never catch me
disrespecting Woman or a maintenance man. I mean, come on, that's
ridiculous.
There was one other underlying mood that I must comment on in regards
to the Public Enemy. Things changed after the "Please don't go
chant" and by the end of the evening, you could just feel it, the
sentiment was quite ugly. It seems just about everyone in the arena
- from bleacher bums to Crudes no longer loved the Public Enemy.
Obviously, we are all upset about them leaving, but people there
seemed to miss two things. First, the Public Enemy are human and
Rocco is over 40. Combining these two things with an opportunity to
make some big money (WWF or WCW), most people would like to enjoy life
a little and make some money. I can't blame them for that. Second of
all, and most important, look what Rock and Grunge have done for you.
Years of entertainment, and helping to put ECW on the map. Perhaps,
if not for them, there would be no "House That Public Enemy Built".
People should be thanking them instead of having this "What have you
done for me lately" attitude.
I realize that this is long and preachy, but this is my first post and
I wanted to make it with a bang. Please flame the hell out of me or
comment to me at: bad...@inlink.com
George Flanagan
Well, if this was the show before their Christmas Party, then
there's a reason that it might have not seemed like a Paul E. show,
which would be that Taz was in charge of that show.
Pat Flanagan