Summerslam Results + commentary
Bill Payne is the Shizz
the way through, and I must say, they did a pretty darned good
job.
1) D-Lo Brown defeats Val Venis via DQ, retaining the European
title.
This match was good, if a tad slow. Seemed like D-Lo Brown was
huffing it in the last half of the match, unable to keep up
with Venis (and Val had even come twice!!). He blew a couple of
spots towards the end, but covered up pretty nicely, and pulled
out a swank Texas Cloverleaf.
I think I heard Jack Epstein leading the D-Lo chants at one point,
until they were drowned out by the "D-Lo sucks" chants.
***
2) Oddities defeat Kaentai via pinfall.
While it wasn't a great match, it seemed like it was well rehearsed,
and it succeeded in masking most of the deficiences in the Oddities
wrestling habits (Kurgan and Silva especially). The Insane Clown
Posse has no musical talent, if the entrance song performance is
any indication.
**
3) X-Pac defeats JJ via pinfall.
Howard Finkel's head had been shaved by JJ earlier on SNH, and his
accompaniment of X-Pac to the ring ensures that JJ's going to be
the loser. Add to that the fact that JJ doesn't even lose all
of his hair, and this match just plain blew, even with X-Pac
selling like a king (love his corner whip sell where he basically
collapses).
*1/2
4) Sable + Mystery Partner Edge defeat Marc Mero and Jacky via pinfall.
The Edge doesn't really make much sense here as a partner choice
in terms of angles, but he was ruling the ring with his high spots.
I honestly haven't seen a suicide dive as good as the one he pulled
out in the big 2 in awhile. "Silicone Valley" Sable was annoying at
times (that shriek of hers was bloody annoying), but did pull
off a real nice top rope frankensteiner, and the finishing move
where Edge picked her up and flapjacked her on top of Mero was
pretty cool.
**1/2
5) Lion's Den Match, Shamrock defeats Owen Hart via submission.
I didn't expect much from this match, but it was pretty good,
especially in such a tight enclosure. The two worked real well
off of the fencing, pulling out some good wrestling moves. I guess
the WWF has decided to make these "special" matches that involve
submission specialists into wrestling matches for the most part,
which is a good thing.
***
6) New Age Outlaws defeat Mankind via pinfall, and once again
reclaim the tag titles.
The usual Foley slobberknocker, not much to add.
The Foley chants were a nice touch, guess Epstein had
his whole section going on this one.
**
7) HHH defeats The Rock, and wins the Intercontinental Title
I am ashamed to admit, but I've never seen the other ladder matches
that people have raved about. This one, however, was nothing
short of outstanding. Well, okay, HHH forgot that the Rock had been
working over his leg at about the mid-way mark of the match, but
that's beside the point. The crowd was into it, the ever popular
People's Elbow was included, and Chyna got her retribution for
last Monday's actions. Once again, the shortcomings of a wrestler
(HHH) were masked by a gimmick match, making for some incredible
action.
***1/2
8) Austin defeats the Undertaker via pinfall to retain the World Title
I haven't seen Austin wrestle a full singles match in some time,
so it was good to see that he hasn't lost all of his ring skills.
That being said, he and the Undertaker weren't quite able to
work a great match, but rather a solid one that included a wicked
leg drop onto the Spanish announcer's table from the Undertaker.
(They should really start insuring that Spanish announcer's
table, it takes a real beating almost every PPV)
**1/2
Overall, a really good PPV, although I guess I have nothing to compare
it to.
--
The dead know only one thing: it's better to be alive.
--Joker, from "Full Metal Jacket"