Could Ted Turner buy WWE?

[Arvid]

Rumours are swirling...

[James Owen]

Arvid <ar...@rspw.com> wrote:
> Rumours are swirling...
>

When are you gonna outgrow this bizarre obsession dad? Congealed lard and
sweaty men in elastic simply cannot be your abiding legacy on this earth.

[Davey Zimmerman #274]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in
news:397534755.696080913.213...@nntp.aioe.org:

Best post of the past two centuries right there. It's only amplified by
that being his only hope for a legacy.

PS: I keep forgetting if you're Bilbo or McNugget. Let me know.

[Arvid]

"Davey Zimmerman #274" <Chadwe...@zoho.com> wrote in
news:XnsAF9472E5657...@88.198.57.247:

Gentlemen,
Kindly exit this thread. While your obsession with the dearly departed
Mr. Bryant is understandable given his titanic presence in the newsgroup
over the many long years, this thread concerns the topic of professional
wrestling, a subject which I, and many others, I assure you, are keen to
explore.

Now: Ted Turner: will he be he who laughs best? Will the decades-long
battle of billionaires finally end with the most unexpected swerve in
the history of our great sport? Will the Saudi heels predictably do the
job? Will Fusient emerge like the Undertaker from its crypt to broker
the highly probable, upcoming deal? Will the controversy of Eric
Bischoff maniacally laughing live on Raw is XXX as Ted strides down to
the ring to "No Chance in Hell" indeed create cash? Discuss.

[James Owen]

Come on, dad.

You couldn’t fool the repo man and you’re not going to convince anyone here
that you’re not my dad. You’re the only person in history who’s ever
praised the “titanic presence” as opposed to “titanic stomach” of the man
we’re all ashamed to call Cowardly Chadlee Bryant.

Stop making us relive the pain - and leave properly! It’s never going to
get any better for you in here, no matter how many stupid socks you hide
behind.

[James Owen]

I’m the “little” one with the pug nose - 250lb Bilbo Bryant. The good news
is I’ve got my medication in check, and whilst it’s causing me to acne up
and put on a few pounds, I’m no longer feeling quite so sad and lonely.

My brother Stephen is the one they used to call McNugget, although these
days, he’s just as fat and unemployable as dad, so I think he prefers to be
called Butter Slug Bryant.

[Arvid]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in

news:1364722843.696102888.81...@nntp.aioe.org:

Tell you what: we can settle any questions of identity tomorrow, during
Raw, LIVE in #rspwtalk. Bring your tag team partner. It's entirely
possible that surprise guests may appear. See you there!

[James Owen]

Despite knowing him for more than three hundred pounds, I have never seen
my dad and his tag team partner Arvid, in the same place at the same time.

Which is funny, since we know how they love to share the same ring. And
given the trauma it’s endured, these days, his ring is far from water tight
and much more like a loose bean curd blocking membrane.

[Davey Zimmerman #274]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in

news:1771472341.696103075.60...@nntp.aioe.org:

Many thanks from the Zimmermen for clearing that up. Now go back to work
breeding acne, it may be the only job you may be qualified for.

[Arvid]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in

news:572601155.696105626.604...@nntp.aioe.org:

The time for posting is done. We'll chat tomorrow, LIVE, in #rspwtalk:
Raw is XXX edition. Bring your close pal Vetaphoid. Bring Dink. Bring
Matthew Desmond. Bring Jason Todd and Gary Schuyler. Hell, you can even
bring Brian Townsend. It'll be a rousing discussion.

..with possible surprise guests.

[James Owen]

Hey dad, are you working today?

[Davey Zimmerman #274]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in

news:833389878.696118263.504...@nntp.aioe.org:

Or working any day? I imagine the kids would like to see Chad's pay stub
too. What's it been, about 15 years or so? Those poor
genetically-cheated bastards.

Q. What do you get when you cross a buffalo and a bloated pig?
A. Lighten up on Chad's kids already.

[James Owen]

I’ll have you know that prior to being blindsided by Covid, dad briefly
worked up to fourteen hours a week for almost six months. That said, mom
didn’t get a cent of his overdue parental support, so it doesn’t really
make a difference to us if his pay stubs are imaginary or real. We get the
same amount regardless, much as he is true to

[James Owen]

I’ll have you know that prior to Covid decimating his call centre, dad
worked up to sixteen hours a week for almost a year straight, setting a new
Bryant family record in the process.

That said, mum didn’t see a cent of the overdue parental back pay, so it
doesn’t really make a difference to us if dads pay stubs are imaginary or
somehow real. We dine of ramen and bean curd regardless.

> Q. What do you get when you cross a buffalo and a bloated pig?
> A. Lighten up on Chad's kids already.
>

I’ll have you know that I’m actually lighter than my father was at the same
age. Granted, my big brother Steve “McNugget” Austin Bryant is already 1.8
Chads on the SLCOI (Salt Lake City Obesity Index) so he might want to ease
up on the saturated fats before he hits 2.0 and Arbies has to revoke his
all you can eat deep fried buffet card. If that does motivate him (and not
much does!) then nothing will.

[James Owen]

Apologies, I got cut off when Uncle Lonnie got home and demanded his daily
foot rub. I really don’t like doing it that much, but I’ve got to admit,
it’s a lot better than what he makes mum do.

I haven’t heard a human make those noises since dad was forced to sell our
family pig after animal welfare discovered he was eating munching on pork
bi-products whilst Hamzy was still alive!

[Davey Zimmerman #274]

James Owen <sono...@nodad.com> wrote in

news:457463755.696131142.166...@nntp.aioe.org:

Really? Do call centers pay better in Utah or New Hampshire?

Sorry if it seems like I'm nitpicking, but I suppose that 12 bucks an
hour vs. 12.50 an hour might not seem all that much difference.

> That said, mum didn’t see a cent of the overdue parental back pay,
> so it doesn’t really make a difference to us if dads pay stubs are
> imaginary or somehow real. We dine of ramen and bean curd regardless.

Good to hear that Lonnie is putting your mom on an enforced diet. So how
do the two of you hellspawn manage to get so bloated? Bad genetics and
the resulting predispositions only go so far. Dumpster diving or
something similar perhaps? Maybe you can pass on scavenging tips on to
John Henry. It sounds like he could use some advice in that area.

>> Q. What do you get when you cross a buffalo and a bloated pig?
>> A. Lighten up on Chad's kids already.
>>
> I’ll have you know that I’m actually lighter than my father was at
> the same age. Granted, my big brother Steve “McNugget” Austin
> Bryant is already 1.8 Chads on the SLCOI (Salt Lake City Obesity
> Index) so he might want to ease up on the saturated fats before he
> hits 2.0 and Arbies has to revoke his all you can eat deep fried
> buffet card. If that does motivate him (and not much does!) then
> nothing will.

How is McNugget doing on the SLCCCI (Salt Lake City Chad Chins Index)?

PS: I don't gamble normally but interested on a side bet on which
Chadsock replies next? I'm betting a case of Beefaroni on Arvid if
you're game.