[ECW] The Netcop Rant for Living Dangerously 1999
Scott Keith
- Amazingly, Canada's fascist PPV company (Viewer's Choice) has actually
decided to carry ECW PPVs starting in May, so I can steal them just like
WCW and WWF ones. But until then, I have to watch them in the only
place in Edmonton that has a dish and is actually showing ECW: Area 51,
a death metal bar downtown. With really expensive drinks, I might add.
Although we got a deal tonight, because my Long Island iced tea and rum
& Coke only came to 8 bucks total. Furthermore, my faitful Toshiba
notebook computer only has a battery life of 2 hours (hah! that's
wishful thinking...) which is of course not enough to cover an entire
PPV. So I have to resort to...an actual notebook. But how do I boot
it? Where's the GUI? What's this black stuff coming out of the light
pen? And why doesn't it have a keyboard? Man, I'm confused. I think I
can still remember how to write, although it's been so long.
- Because the bar has a dish, we also get to watch the first 30 minutes
of Heat, which sucked. A bunch of character building interviews, and a
lame-ass hardcore match, which would actually turn out to be BETTER than
the one coming up, amazingly enough.
- So we're...
- Live from Asbury Park, New Jersey, home of some guy who used to
wrestle here...
- Your host is Joey.
- Opening match: Super Crazy v. Yoshihiro Tajiri. Talk about blatantly
sucking up to the workrate contingent. Flipping and flopping to start.
Obviously the ring is miked because everything sounds like BANG! BOOM!
CRASH! First highspot goes to Tajiri, with the somersault plancha. He
follows with a nice quebrada, which the crowd appreciates. They fight
onto the rampway. Boo. Crazy's moonsault misses, and Tajiri responds
by lifting a move from Sonja in Mortal Kombat, a standing headscissor
takedown. Great moonsault combo from Crazy, as he goes off the first,
second and top ropes in succession. Springboard moonsault from Crazy
gets two. Moonsault attempt #2 hits the knees. Tajiri comes back with
a baseball slide to the face, and then a SWEET kicking combo. Very
Ultimo Dragon. Super Crazy misses a moonsault and Tajiri responds by
kicking him right in the face. This is very reminiscent of the first
match, which makes me wonder they bothered having it. Crazy with the
sunset flip for two, and then he fucks up a moonsault. Crazy with the
Ligerbomb for two. Weird reversal spot as Tajiri blocks a powerbomb,
then tries a rana rollup, but Crazy rolls through for the pin. I did
NOT like the ending. Disappointing match compared to their other one.
***
- Funny promo from Sabu and Pothead. Sabu's FTW belt has a piece of
tape with "Sabu" written on it, ala the WCW one.
- Steve Corino is out for mike time? Our little group bets on Sid
killing him, but Ballz Mahoney gets the honors instead.
- Ballz Mahoney v. Steve Corino. Crowd dies. Total squash until Corino
gets a chair and teases it forever, then decides to have a seat and apply
a chinlock instead. Har har. Ballz escapes then pastes him with a
greco-roman chairshot and pins him. Pointless drek. DUD
- Antifaz del Morte v. Little Guido. And speaking of pointless drek...
Guido and Big Sal are apparently the only survivors of the FBI
housecleaning. Slow start before Morte works in a corkscrew plancha.
He also fires off an inverted falcon arrow for a two count. Guido does
nothing of note besides talking way too much. Big boring chant from the
Jersey crowd. Big Sal abuses Antifaz and Guido gets, er, an Italian
Crab I guess, for the submission. * Tracy and the Big Don run in, but
get chased off by Big Sal and probably out of ECW.
- ECW TV title: Rob Van Dam v. Jerry Lynn. The big question here is
whether Paul E does the obvious, or does the swerve, or does the swerve
swerve, thereby going back to the obvious again. Those would be "RVD
wins", "Lynn wins" or "RVD wins in screwy fashion", respectively. I toy
with the idea of rating the match based on one * for every nickel bag of
pot Rob had before the match, but he seems lucid enough so I ditch the
idea. Van Dam is just crazy over here. They're gonna have to main
event the guy pretty soon. The usual pretty but pointless (thus pretty
pointless) flipping/flopping sequence from RVD to start. Nice spot as
Rob does his annoying splits-on-the-criss-cross thing and Lynn legdrops
him on the neck when he goes down. Ha! RVD starts reeling off the
highspots, but when he goes for the springboard whatever inside the
ring, Lynn dropkicks him to the floor. 'bout time someone did that.
More highspots outside the ring. Cute spot as RVD does a bow-and-arrow
with a chair under his back, then releases the hold, thus dropping Lynn
on the chair. Notice how many times I'm writing "spot" here and how
few I'm writing "wrestling"? Another cute spot as Lynn blocks a
Northern Lights suplex and hits an inverted DDT. Hard to really
describe here. Lynn ducks the VanDaminator and reverses a legsweep for
a two count. Lynn gets knocked off the top rope and put through a
conveniently placed table. Another cute spot as Lynn sunset flips Rob,
but he counters by grabbing a chair and smashing it into Lynn's head.
They do a "I sure wish I was Eddy Guerrero" wrestling sequence, and that
gets a few two counts. They end up on the top rope, and Lynn gives him
a swinging DDT to a table below. It doesn't break. Eddy never has to
resort to that stuff. Lynn gets a two count from it. RVD comes back
and runs through his usual. I'm sensing a draw. Lynn with a tornado
DDT for two, and the time limit runs out. Yep, it's a draw. Crowd
starts calling for 5 more minutes, although the referee is handing Lynn
the belt for some reason. Huh? Well, both guys agree to five minutes,
so away we go. Lynn with a nasty piledriver for two, and then Fonzie
throws in a chair. DON'T CATCH IT, JERRY...oops, too late. You figure
out the rest. Van Dam retains. They should have just done an actual
ending instead of that. **3/4
- Earlier tonight: Some porn star talks. Rule #1 of wrestling and
getting women over: Don't let them talk. Francine attacks her.
Pathetic.
- Mr. Mustafa v. NuJack. Mustafa looks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
Really, really pathetic assortment of weapons tonight, including a
plastic lawnmower and a breakaway guitar that breaks away before it
hits. So they trade awful looking weapon shots for a minute, then fight
to the balcony, where NuJack *tapes* Mustafa to a table, then does a
balcony dive...and MISSES. Badly. I mean, his head BARELY made contact
with Mustafa, and I'm surprised he didn't break something hitting the
floor like that. Instead of just declaring this abortion OVER and
putting us out of our misery, security guys actually HELP both wrestlers
to the ring, where NuJack rolls over and pins Mustafa. And that's the
match. Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not, this was the worst match
I've ever seen and the only time I'll EVER assign this dreaded rating:
-*****. This was the most fake looking, business-exposing, hideous
excuse for a wrestling match that I have ever seen in my life. And that
covers a LOT of shitty matches. There was NO wrestling, and they didn't
even do the spots right. So FUCK THEM. I hope NuJack broke both legs
and I never have to see him and his useless "My only offense is weapons
and a balcony dive" no-selling criminal talentless thug ass again. I
hope this kills ANY discussion about NuJack being any good in the ring
from now on.
- The Dudleys (thank god) run in and clear out the crap. Gertner does
his bit, and it's not really funny tonight. They issue an open
challenge. Public Enema? No, even better...Spike Dudley and Supernova!
Wow, that'll save this shitty PPV. And of course they get creamed.
Mangled. Slaughtered. No offense whatsoever. And it takes FOREVER to
do it. And then Buh Buh decides to talk AGAIN. What is the FUCKING
POINT? Bob Artese takes 3D. And Buh Buh is STILL TALKING. He
challenges the crowd. And finally, here comes Sid. Yay! Dudleys
attack and Sid no-sells, then destroys them. And now Spike returns, and
pins Buh Buh after an Acid Drop. DUD, I guess, if that was actually a
match. Sid kills Spike and powerbombs him through a table. Okay, Sid
is a big monster. WE FUCKING GET IT, PAUL. This scintellating saga,
which served only to provide Sid for 10 minutes to pay off the pre-game
show's promises of seeing him, wasted about 20 minutes total.
- Justin the Jellyfish & Lance Storm v. Tommy Dreamer & Shane Douglas.
Dawn Maries has apparently gone from mocking Tammy Sytch to mocking
Beulah. I like exactly one person in this match, can you guess which?
I really hate it when they use "River of Deceit" in the video
package...it's getting really cliche. Shane Douglas is wearing long
tights. Maybe it's so the needle won't fall out of his ass. If I was
Tommy I'd check Shane's boots for a chain. Shane has his working boots
on, trading some nice stuff with Aldo. Nice spot as Tommy puts Justin
Montoya in an abdominal stretch and Shane drops Storm on Justin's
outstretched knee. Shane becomes scumbag in peril and the wrestling
comes to a screeching halt. Kick, punch, taunt. Tommy gets a hot tag
and a brawl erupts. A weak superkick turns the tide and Tommy gets beat
on for a while. Crowd is bored. Match...is...so...long. Tommy hits a
half-assed Diamond Cutter and tags Shane, and the overbooking kicks in.
Shane teases a turn on Tommy, then attacks the heels. A catfight breaks
out, because there's just not enough going on already. Francine finds a
ladder, and that gets used, because this wrestling stuff will never
sell. Shane hits the BELLY TO BELLY OF DOOM on Aldo, but it only gets
two. Good, I'm sick of that move. A kick to the head from Francine and
a fisherman's buster finishes it. No turns, no surprises. **1/4
- Jackyl (now called Cyrus, as in "Billy Ray..." or "...the virus"
depending on who you find more evil) comes out and helps the heels do
some beating down. Joey hammers the "virus" reference home.
- Interview with RVD. Apparently the referee WAS going to award Lynn
the title after the draw, because he was clearly the winner. WHAT?
What kind of dumbass booking is that? They try to justify this by
saying they wanted a clear-cut winner, not like the Holyfield fight.
Was Paul E on crack when he thought of that one? RVD issues a challenge
for the next PPV to Jerry Lynn. Oh, fuck, not ECW too. I thought Paul
was immune to that syndrome.
- Main event, FTW title v. ECW title, Sabu v. Taz. Thank god this show
is almost over. Taz makes it falls count anywhere, which never comes
into play. Slugfest to start, and they do a token sequence in the ring,
but everyone knows this has "spotfest" written all over it. Sure
enough, Sabu launches himself into the crowd and away we go. Really
boring sequence as they fight through the crowd and it's almost
impossible to tell where they are. So they brawl. And brawl. And
brawl. Sabu takes a bunch of Foley-like stuntman bumps, which have no
redeeming value to the match because he never sells anything for more
than 3 seconds, but hey, they look nice. EC-dub! EC-dub! Fellow
watcher Kinjo asks why Sabu takes some horrifying looking shot from Taz,
and then pops right back up and hits his move. I have to explain ECW
Physics to him, which basically alters the laws of real world physics so
that devastating moves have no effect, as long as it's Sabu's turn to do
a spot. Sabu goes through a table, taking out the cameraman who is
filming the show. I hope against hope that the live feed was also
killed, but alas the show goes on. Taz challenges various WCW senior
citizens while beating on Sabu. Alfonso keeps trying to throw in the
towel but Sabu stops him. More stuntman bumps and now a table gets
involved. This is just Foley v. the Rock, with Sabu as Foley and Taz as
the Rock. Sabu takes all the bumps and Taz reels off the catchphrases.
The table is so blatantly pre-cut that they stop mid-spot and do
something else instead. Sabu fucks up a powerbomb to the floor, and it
gets two. More stunt bumps. Sabu covers Taz for the pin, but Taz puts
his foot on the ropes. IN A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH? Some fans at
ringside are screaming the same thing as me, but the referee ignores
them. More spots, and now the crowd is getting bored. Taz puts Sabu
through the table for two, and then applies the Tazmission for the
submission. Thank god it's over. We'll be generous and go ** for the
spots, although Taz did jack shit here. You know, if Taz is going
badmouth Flair and Hogan, the least he could is back it up in the ring.
Taz offers the big handshake, end of show.
The Bottom Line:
This show sucked, there's no two ways about it. Everything was by the
numbers, with no surprises and a couple of crap filler matches that WCW
would get crucified for including. And wow, that was some appearance by
Sid, wasn't it? He's sure earning his money.
Not as bad as Wrestlepalooza, but still pretty bad. Thumbs way down.
Scott "Netcop" Keith, co-moderator rec.sport.pro-wrestling.moderated
ske...@home.com / ske...@mindless.com / ICQ # 28819658
Official Wrestling FAQ URL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/4693/faq.html
Netcop Rant URL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/4693
Todd Gerth
> The Netcop Rant for Living Dangerously 1999.
>
> - Opening match: Super Crazy v. Yoshihiro Tajiri. Talk about blatantly
> sucking up to the workrate contingent.
Scott starts early with the "ECW can't do anything right" gimmick he continues
throughout the report. Complaining b/c they scheduled a potentially good match?
I dont get it, but I also dont get going out of your way to watch a PPV you know
you're not going to like. Whatever, I guess there aint much to do in Canada...
> - Ballz Mahoney v. Steve Corino. Crowd dies. Total squash until Corino
> gets a chair and teases it forever, then decides to have a seat and apply
> a chinlock instead. Har har. Ballz escapes then pastes him with a
> greco-roman chairshot and pins him. Pointless drek. DUD
The worst part is that Corino looked pretty lousy even during the parts that
resembled wrestling. I thought he was one of them hot indie juniors or
something...
> - ECW TV title: Rob Van Dam v. Jerry Lynn. The big question here is
> whether Paul E does the obvious, or does the swerve, or does the swerve
> swerve, thereby going back to the obvious again. Those would be "RVD
> wins", "Lynn wins" or "RVD wins in screwy fashion", respectively.
Sadly, Styles picking Lynn to win pretty much threw out my prediction for an
upset from the get-go.
> I toy with the idea of rating the match based on one * for every nickel bag of
> pot Rob had before the match, but he seems lucid enough so I ditch the
> idea. Van Dam is just crazy over here. They're gonna have to main
> event the guy pretty soon.
Well, yeah....there aint gonna be anybody else left by June! Can RVD do a
spotfest all by himself? Tune in to November to Remember '99!
I think you missed out on some of the psychology of this match. It was all about
how they'd faced each other so many times before. That was established early on
by the reversal sequence (which you described as pointless). I also liked the
fact that they expanded on some of their move sequences from previous matches,
which bolstered this psychology. You had the splits-dropdown which Lynn reversed
into a legdrop. There was the swinging DDT-->Northern Lights suplex-->no,
swinging DDT and I mean it this time, dammit. The first Van Daminator attempt
sequence which ended with RVD getting squashed on the chair. Lynn reversing the
monkeyflip onto the chair spot with a powerbomb. Hmm, after the reversal of
RVD's springboard attempt, you did say "it's about time somebody did that", so
maybe you *were* hip to the storyline...
Now I'll grant that that story seemed to be totally dropped in the overtime
period. I didnt get the point of starting the match over just to have RVD
basically squash Lynn (nor did I care for the ref's decision thing), but it's a
shitty angle which sets up another potentially good match at the next PPV, so
I'll take a cue from mbd and say it's okay.
So basically, the match had cool spots, nice workrate, good crowd heat (didnt
expect that chant for Lynn), and a sufficient storyline. It lacked much in the
way of long-term selling and build-up to the spots. For my money, the pluses
outweighed the minues. By a good bit, actually.
> - Mr. Mustafa v. NuJack. Mustafa looks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
> Really, really pathetic assortment of weapons tonight, including a
> plastic lawnmower and a breakaway guitar that breaks away before it
> hits. So they trade awful looking weapon shots for a minute, then fight
> to the balcony, where NuJack *tapes* Mustafa to a table, then does a
> balcony dive...and MISSES. Badly.
So badly that he managed to break through the table. Wait, if he broke the
table, he must have hit, right? (answer: yes, he hit the spot. Scott was just
being crabby.)
There was plenty to criticize in this "match" (and you hit some of the other
points), but the only real problem with the dive was that it was more interesting
last year when Spike and New Jack did it simultaneously. I thought the fact that
Jack taped Mustapha to the table was a nice touch, since it didnt require
Mustapha to just lie prone waiting for Jack to hit him. Granted, the taping job
was pretty half-assed, but anyway...
> I mean, his head BARELY made contact
> with Mustafa, and I'm surprised he didn't break something hitting the
> floor like that. Instead of just declaring this abortion OVER and
> putting us out of our misery, security guys actually HELP both wrestlers
> to the ring, where NuJack rolls over and pins Mustafa. And that's the
> match. Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not, this was the worst match
> I've ever seen and the only time I'll EVER assign this dreaded rating:
> -*****. This was the most fake looking, business-exposing, hideous
> excuse for a wrestling match that I have ever seen in my life. And that
> covers a LOT of shitty matches. There was NO wrestling, and they didn't
> even do the spots right. So FUCK THEM.
I dont pretend to know about those snowflakes you put after the matches, but I
didnt really see anything here to make it go under a DUD, personally. I mean, it
was a garbage match, so you shouldnt expect any actual "wrestling", in the
traditional sense. You cant reasonably hold that against them. The fact that
the garbage work was boring and pointless, especially after being billed as -the
biggest slaughter ever on PPV- (or whatever), you can hold against them.
> - The Dudleys (thank god) run in and clear out the crap. Gertner does
> his bit, and it's not really funny tonight. They issue an open
> challenge. Public Enema? No, even better...Spike Dudley and Supernova!
> Wow, that'll save this shitty PPV. And of course they get creamed.
> Mangled. Slaughtered. No offense whatsoever. And it takes FOREVER to do it.
If you cross reference 1wrestling with Scott Keith, you learn that FOREVER
happens in two and a half minutes. 'Tis a fast paced world in which we live...
> And then Buh Buh decides to talk AGAIN. What is the FUCKING POINT?
To set up the Sid run-in. Or were you talking about the squash? That was to
show that the Dudleys are bad-ass bruisers or whatever (so that Sid busting them
up has more weight), and to give Spike a reason to be out there for the big spot
at the end. It all made some degree of sense. Was it good? In my opinion, it
was not.
> - Justin the Jellyfish & Lance Storm v. Tommy Dreamer & Shane Douglas.
> <snip> Shane hits the BELLY TO BELLY OF DOOM on Aldo, but it only gets
> two. Good, I'm sick of that move.
It was horribly executed as well. Maybe the fans chant "Please dont go!" b/c
they want to see Shane execute his finisher properly before he leaves.
Teehee! Now *I*'m being bitchy! Fun! Actually, he *did* do his new finisher
just fine at the end, so...uhh...y'know....
> A kick to the head from Francine and
> a fisherman's buster finishes it. No turns, no surprises. **1/4
Yeah, I wasnt expecting much out of this b/c, like you, I only really like one of
the four. But I did expect some kind of interesting booking. Whoops, no luck
there.
> - Main event, FTW title v. ECW title, Sabu v. Taz. Thank god this show
> is almost over.
I'm tempted to say the same thing about this report, but i find it amusing to
take a peek inside the mind of a masochist. Freak me out, baby!
> Taz makes it falls count anywhere, which never comes into play.
There was at least one two count on the floor. Not much, granted...
> We'll be generous and go ** for the spots
What else were you expecting? I mean, anyone who's seen these guys has to know
going in what he/she's going to get. I'm not saying that you should wear out
your 8 key with all the stars... It's just that I know that the scope of *my*
wrestling fandom allows me to enjoy spotfests. That's why I got the PPV: I
figured three of the matches would have enough enough of a "that there dood just
flipped and landed on his fool head! Hee-yuck!" factor that I'd dig them. And
since those three matches delivered, I was satisfied. Since there was a lot of
other crap that didnt deliver anything remotely useful, I cant get too excited
about the PPV, but it was okay.
> The Bottom Line:
>
> This show sucked, there's no two ways about it.
If you hate ECW, you'll hate this show. That much is true...
Oh wait! I think I figured it out....
> my Long Island iced tea and rum & Coke only came to 8 bucks total.
You watched an ECW PPV with only two drinks in you? Well, THERE's your problem!
You *never* want to watch ECW in a state approaching sobriety. That would be
like getting in your top hat and tails to go to an AC/DC show. Now I can easily
see why you'd see Taz suplex Sabu out of the ring through a table and say "That
spot was not properly built up, nor is the selling adequate" instead of "Jeepers,
that feller must be busted up but GOOD!" And if you dont wanna do that, why the
hell would you want to watch ECW?
yours
todd
--
"Suck it" -- Gong Li, "Ju Dou"
[RUDO] K. Canzanella
[added rspw to newsgroups line]
>The Netcop Rant for Living Dangerously 1999.
I'm replying to yours due to a lack of effort and lack of interest in
giving ECW a full PPV write up.
>- Because the bar has a dish, we also get to watch the first 30 minutes
>of Heat, which sucked. A bunch of character building interviews, and a
>lame-ass hardcore match, which would actually turn out to be BETTER than
>the one coming up, amazingly enough.
Oh, pity you! You missed the ultra exciting climax where the
UnderAchiever and the Chef stared at each other while Big Bossman and
the Gaint looked on, after HEAT delivered the ultra exciting and
eventful match they promised.
>- So we're...
>
>- Live from Asbury Park, New Jersey, home of some guy who used to
>wrestle here...
>
>- Your host is Joey.
>
>- Opening match: Super Crazy v. Yoshihiro Tajiri. Talk about blatantly
>sucking up to the workrate contingent. Flipping and flopping to start.
>Obviously the ring is miked because everything sounds like BANG! BOOM!
>CRASH! First highspot goes to Tajiri, with the somersault plancha. He
>follows with a nice quebrada, which the crowd appreciates. They fight
>onto the rampway. Boo. Crazy's moonsault misses, and Tajiri responds
>by lifting a move from Sonja in Mortal Kombat, a standing headscissor
>takedown.
The first 4 or 5 minutes of this match were great. Crazzy and Tajiri
nailed all the cool offense you could want, and went through a
super-conplex monkey flip sequence. I was expecting Crazzy to try
something really freaky here, but the pointless and aggravating ramp
prevented it.
> Great moonsault combo from Crazy, as he goes off the first,
>second and top ropes in succession. Springboard moonsault from Crazy
>gets two. Moonsault attempt #2 hits the knees. Tajiri comes back with
>a baseball slide to the face, and then a SWEET kicking combo. Very
>Ultimo Dragon. Super Crazy misses a moonsault and Tajiri responds by
>kicking him right in the face. This is very reminiscent of the first
>match, which makes me wonder they bothered having it. Crazy with the
>sunset flip for two, and then he fucks up a moonsault. Crazy with the
>Ligerbomb for two. Weird reversal spot as Tajiri blocks a powerbomb,
>then tries a rana rollup, but Crazy rolls through for the pin. I did
>NOT like the ending. Disappointing match compared to their other one.
>***
Indeed. I thought the match that aired the Saturday after the PPV here
in NY was much better. Part of the idea of blow off matches with great
workers is that you expect them to pull off something "new" to make
the match end on an exclamation point instead of a period, like
Lynn/Credible ending with the Super Tombstone, for example. This match
was lacking in that aspect. In addition, part of my problem with this
match was the offense, while flashy, didn't really leave me on the end
of my seat jumping at a heart beat thinking each next move will end
the match. This match was a bunch of kicking and flying, but who was
really worried that one wrestler would put the other away?
I also would like to address something. In the match Crazzy blew what
was looking like a springboard tornado move, and the whole mutant
crowd chanted "You fucked up!". Don't get me wrong, he did blow the
spot, but considering a)the difficulty of the execution that move, and
the b)inprobabiltiy that a single mutant in the crowd could execute
that move, I'd say they have no right to ridicule him. Stuff like this
is what makes ECW catch all the criticism it does.
I'd give the match **1/2.
>- Ballz Mahoney v. Steve Corino. Crowd dies. Total squash until Corino
>gets a chair and teases it forever, then decides to have a seat and apply
>a chinlock instead. Har har. Ballz escapes then pastes him with a
>greco-roman chairshot and pins him. Pointless drek. DUD
What a waste. And they say ECW doesn't misuse talent like the big two.
Pheh.
>- Antifaz del Morte v. Little Guido. And speaking of pointless drek...
>Guido and Big Sal are apparently the only survivors of the FBI
>housecleaning. Slow start before Morte works in a corkscrew plancha.
>He also fires off an inverted falcon arrow for a two count. Guido does
>nothing of note besides talking way too much. Big boring chant from the
>Jersey crowd. Big Sal abuses Antifaz and Guido gets, er, an Italian
>Crab I guess, for the submission. * Tracy and the Big Don run in, but
>get chased off by Big Sal and probably out of ECW.
Lame match, because it was a styles clash. If the FBI are breaking up
and leaving, why give them the win? Stuff like this confuses me.
I agree with the rating and synopsis. RVD's stuff is pretty, and Lynn
is sound, but they don't compare to say a Psicosis/Rey Jr. match. My
biggest problem with RVD is that while he has a few cool spots, he can
barely mat wrestle and his repertoire is shit. A Kick can't finish a
match unless it involves a chair, so until we see the chair, who
cares?
On the match it's two biggest flaws were a lack of any moves or
wrestling from RVD, and all the bitch fighting over a chair.
>- Mr. Mustafa v. NuJack. Mustafa looks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
>Really, really pathetic assortment of weapons tonight, including a
>
>plastic lawnmower and a breakaway guitar that breaks away before it
>hits. So they trade awful looking weapon shots for a minute, then fight
>to the balcony, where NuJack *tapes* Mustafa to a table, then does a
>balcony dive...and MISSES. Badly. I mean, his head BARELY made contact
>with Mustafa, and I'm surprised he didn't break something hitting the
>floor like that. Instead of just declaring this abortion OVER and
>putting us out of our misery, security guys actually HELP both wrestlers
>to the ring, where NuJack rolls over and pins Mustafa. And that's the
>match. Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not, this was the worst match
>I've ever seen and the only time I'll EVER assign this dreaded rating:
>-*****.
Again, I agree. People think that because these guys take hits from
weapons they are "busting their asses" and thus are outside the realm
of criticism, but the truth is they are so untalented that they have
to resort to petty brawling. And what's worse is that at least your
Big Japan garbage goons will hit their spots and bleed like fuckers.
These guys don't even do that! Matches like NuJack/Mustafa make you
wonder why they don't just delete the word "wrestling" from the phrase
"garbage wrestling".
>This was the most fake looking, business-exposing, hideous
>excuse for a wrestling match that I have ever seen in my life. And that
>covers a LOT of shitty matches. There was NO wrestling, and they didn't
>even do the spots right. So FUCK THEM. I hope NuJack broke both legs
>and I never have to see him and his useless "My only offense is weapons
>and a balcony dive" no-selling criminal talentless thug ass again. I
>hope this kills ANY discussion about NuJack being any good in the ring
>from now on.
Don't worry, it won't.
>- The Dudleys (thank god) run in and clear out the crap. Gertner does
>his bit, and it's not really funny tonight. They issue an open
>challenge. Public Enema? No, even better...Spike Dudley and Supernova!
>Wow, that'll save this shitty PPV.
Ha.
>And of course they get creamed.
>Mangled. Slaughtered. No offense whatsoever. And it takes FOREVER to
>do it. And then Buh Buh decides to talk AGAIN. What is the FUCKING
>POINT? Bob Artese takes 3D. And Buh Buh is STILL TALKING. He
>challenges the crowd.
The Dudleys have positioned themselves for an easy spot as maybe #2
worst heels of the year. They do much and yet accomplish so little.
It's like the Disciple turning on the Warryer. So what? Wow.
>And finally, here comes Sid. Yay! Dudleys
>attack and Sid no-sells, then destroys them. And now Spike returns, and
>pins Buh Buh after an Acid Drop. DUD, I guess, if that was actually a
>match.
Ever notice how Sid, who ECW probably used to rag on for being lazy,
is now "the best big man in wrestling"? Ah well. Better him in ECW
ruining their hopeless PPV's then in the WWF or WCW further polluting
the top card.
[.. snip the rest, because my cable zapped out..]
>The Bottom Line:
>
>This show sucked, there's no two ways about it. Everything was by the
>numbers, with no surprises and a couple of crap filler matches that WCW
>would get crucified for including. And wow, that was some appearance by
>Sid, wasn't it? He's sure earning his money.
Yet another pathetic effort by the braintrust in ECW. I wish they'd
stop bringing in the few talented workers like Lynn, Awesome, Tanaka,
Tajiri, and Crazzy so they could go to a real fed and wrestle and so
that I won't have to worry 'bout missing anything from the black sheep
of the big three.
I think the new "big topic of RSPW*" should be "how long till ECW
folds or loses all of it's mainstream appeal". With this showing, I
say a year and a half, tops.
>Not as bad as Wrestlepalooza, but still pretty bad. Thumbs way down.
Ditto.
>Scott "Netcop" Keith, co-moderator rec.sport.pro-wrestling.moderated
>ske...@home.com / ske...@mindless.com / ICQ # 28819658
>Official Wrestling FAQ URL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/4693/faq.html
>Netcop Rant URL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/4693
Mr K Canzanella
El Numero Uno Rudo de RSPW y el Cruiserweight Campeon de RSPWWCW
"And you know, even the bombs, bullets and shells are shaped like the penis.
It's part of a subconscious need to inject the penis into another's affairs.
It's called Fucking with people"- George Carlin comparing war to a prick fight.
Scott Keith
>Scott Keith wrote:
>
>> The Netcop Rant for Living Dangerously 1999.
>>
>> - Opening match: Super Crazy v. Yoshihiro Tajiri. Talk about blatantly
>> sucking up to the workrate contingent.
>
>Scott starts early with the "ECW can't do anything right" gimmick he continues
>throughout the report. Complaining b/c they scheduled a potentially good match?
>I dont get it, but I also dont get going out of your way to watch a PPV you know
>you're not going to like. Whatever, I guess there aint much to do in Canada...
>
I'm complaining because of scheduling a potentially good match that we've
already seen. Why not schedule TWO potentially good matches using Crazy
against one guy and Tajiri against another?
Hey, there's always that Steve Corino guy...
>
>
>> - Ballz Mahoney v. Steve Corino. Crowd dies. Total squash until Corino
>> gets a chair and teases it forever, then decides to have a seat and apply
>> a chinlock instead. Har har. Ballz escapes then pastes him with a
>> greco-roman chairshot and pins him. Pointless drek. DUD
>
>The worst part is that Corino looked pretty lousy even during the parts that
>resembled wrestling. I thought he was one of them hot indie juniors or
>something...
>
Ballz is not the guy to showcase a wrestler with. I just didn't understand
this one -- there's plenty of cannon fodder to sacrifice to the Suck Brothers,
like Danny Doring and FBI.
>
>
>> - ECW TV title: Rob Van Dam v. Jerry Lynn. The big question here is
>> whether Paul E does the obvious, or does the swerve, or does the swerve
>> swerve, thereby going back to the obvious again. Those would be "RVD
>> wins", "Lynn wins" or "RVD wins in screwy fashion", respectively.
>
>Sadly, Styles picking Lynn to win pretty much threw out my prediction for an
>upset from the get-go.
>
I wouldn't have wanted Lynn to get the belt here. He just has no credibility
or personality at this point.
>
>
>> I toy with the idea of rating the match based on one * for every nickel bag of
>> pot Rob had before the match, but he seems lucid enough so I ditch the
>> idea. Van Dam is just crazy over here. They're gonna have to main
>> event the guy pretty soon.
>
>Well, yeah....there aint gonna be anybody else left by June! Can RVD do a
>spotfest all by himself? Tune in to November to Remember '99!
>
Dammit, Todd, who would hold the chair then?
>
>I think you missed out on some of the psychology of this match. It was all about
>how they'd faced each other so many times before.
I've personally never seen them wrestle and I didn't hear Joey say anything
about it, so I'll take your word for it. But then Robbie does that same
sequence for almost every match (cf. v. Scorpio at last year's show, I think).
> That was established early on
>by the reversal sequence (which you described as pointless). I also liked the
>fact that they expanded on some of their move sequences from previous matches,
>which bolstered this psychology. You had the splits-dropdown which Lynn reversed
>into a legdrop. There was the swinging DDT-->Northern Lights suplex-->no,
>swinging DDT and I mean it this time, dammit. The first Van Daminator attempt
>sequence which ended with RVD getting squashed on the chair. Lynn reversing the
>monkeyflip onto the chair spot with a powerbomb. Hmm, after the reversal of
>RVD's springboard attempt, you did say "it's about time somebody did that", so
>maybe you *were* hip to the storyline...
>
I liked all that stuff, sure. **3/4 isn't a bad match. It's a totally
enjoyable match. But I just got through watching J Cup 95 again last night
and the first three matches on the show completely blow this one away and I
only had *them* at about *** each.
I didn't hate the RVD match at all. I like RVD. I just don't think he's a
very good wrestler. Much like I like the Rock, but I don't think he's a very
good wrestler either. I can enjoy matches with them without piling on the
stars at will.
>Now I'll grant that that story seemed to be totally dropped in the overtime
>period. I didnt get the point of starting the match over just to have RVD
>basically squash Lynn (nor did I care for the ref's decision thing), but it's a
>shitty angle which sets up another potentially good match at the next PPV, so
>I'll take a cue from mbd and say it's okay.
>
ECW has set up matches on premises WAY flimsier than a draw before. RVD could
have won clean and still had the next match.
What Paul E needs to do is find a competent junior like Taka or Togo and have
RVD wrestle them every night for a year until he becomes good sheerly out of
force of habit.
>So basically, the match had cool spots, nice workrate, good crowd heat (didnt
>expect that chant for Lynn), and a sufficient storyline. It lacked much in the
>way of long-term selling and build-up to the spots. For my money, the pluses
>outweighed the minues. By a good bit, actually.
>
Sure, I agree. It wasn't worth anything more than **3/4, but I wasn't
complaining about it or anything. It was probably my favorite match of the
show. But when I watch NJ juniors a day after and the worst match on the show
is about as good as this one then it makes it hard to gush over it.
>
>
>> - Mr. Mustafa v. NuJack. Mustafa looks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
>> Really, really pathetic assortment of weapons tonight, including a
>> plastic lawnmower and a breakaway guitar that breaks away before it
>> hits. So they trade awful looking weapon shots for a minute, then fight
>> to the balcony, where NuJack *tapes* Mustafa to a table, then does a
>> balcony dive...and MISSES. Badly.
>
>So badly that he managed to break through the table. Wait, if he broke the
>table, he must have hit, right? (answer: yes, he hit the spot. Scott was just
>being crabby.)
>
Oh, lord, a table breaking without significant contact being made. Somebody
call Ripley's. How could they possibly accomplish such a feat? I'm confused.
>There was plenty to criticize in this "match" (and you hit some of the other
>points), but the only real problem with the dive was that it was more interesting
>last year when Spike and New Jack did it simultaneously.
It was never interesting. It's about as interesting as Mick Foley jumping off
every point in the arena in the name of "entertainment" -- it's just stunt
bumping. It's ECW's ridiculous one-up-manship policy that led to Tommy
Dreamer getting put through 19 tables or whatever it was.
> I thought the fact that
>Jack taped Mustapha to the table was a nice touch, since it didnt require
>Mustapha to just lie prone waiting for Jack to hit him. Granted, the taping job
>was pretty half-assed, but anyway...
>
Okay, you're right. I'll add 1/4* and boost it to -****3/4.
>> covers a LOT of shitty matches. There was NO wrestling, and they didn't
>> even do the spots right. So FUCK THEM.
>
>I dont pretend to know about those snowflakes you put after the matches, but I
>didnt really see anything here to make it go under a DUD, personally. I mean, it
>was a garbage match, so you shouldnt expect any actual "wrestling", in the
>traditional sense.
I didn't expect wrestling in the traditional sense. I like New Jack's brawls.
He has a flair for making the dull exciting in those things and I usually
enjoy watching him do so. This match, however, was uninspired tripe, and I've
seen enough garbage wrestling to know the difference between wrestling and
garbage.
> You cant reasonably hold that against them.
I'm not holding the fact that they're not Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko
against them, but I am holding the fact that I was bored out of my skull at
the unimaginative and repetitive spots against them.
> The fact that
>the garbage work was boring and pointless, especially after being billed as -the
>biggest slaughter ever on PPV- (or whatever), you can hold against them.
>
There you go. I just did.
>
>
>> - The Dudleys (thank god) run in and clear out the crap. Gertner does
>> his bit, and it's not really funny tonight. They issue an open
>> challenge. Public Enema? No, even better...Spike Dudley and Supernova!
>> Wow, that'll save this shitty PPV. And of course they get creamed.
>> Mangled. Slaughtered. No offense whatsoever. And it takes FOREVER to do it.
>
>If you cross reference 1wrestling with Scott Keith, you learn that FOREVER
>happens in two and a half minutes. 'Tis a fast paced world in which we live...
>
C'mon, who *couldn't* squash Nova and Spke in two and a half minutes? Who
wanted to see it in the first place? Why not kill the middleman and have Sid
slaughter the Dudleys right away?
>
>
>> And then Buh Buh decides to talk AGAIN. What is the FUCKING POINT?
>
>To set up the Sid run-in. Or were you talking about the squash? That was to
>show that the Dudleys are bad-ass bruisers or whatever (so that Sid busting them
>up has more weight)
Yes, because if there's one thing we HAVEN'T had enough of in the past, oh,
TWO YEARS, it's the Dudleys making long-winded challenges to everyone in the
building.
>, and to give Spike a reason to be out there for the big spot
>at the end. It all made some degree of sense. Was it good? In my opinion, it
>was not.
>
Ditto.
>
>
>> - Justin the Jellyfish & Lance Storm v. Tommy Dreamer & Shane Douglas.
>> <snip> Shane hits the BELLY TO BELLY OF DOOM on Aldo, but it only gets
>> two. Good, I'm sick of that move.
>
>It was horribly executed as well. Maybe the fans chant "Please dont go!" b/c
>they want to see Shane execute his finisher properly before he leaves.
>
It's so sad that Shane puts himself above Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels, yet
uses a belly to belly as his finisher.
>Teehee! Now *I*'m being bitchy! Fun! Actually, he *did* do his new finisher
>just fine at the end, so...uhh...y'know....
>
>
A fisherman's buster is his finisher? Man, he's three years behind the curve
already. He really needs to talk to Taz about getting a mixed martial arts
finisher...
>
>> A kick to the head from Francine and
>> a fisherman's buster finishes it. No turns, no surprises. **1/4
>
>Yeah, I wasnt expecting much out of this b/c, like you, I only really like one of
>the four. But I did expect some kind of interesting booking. Whoops, no luck
>there.
>
We were sitting there taking bets on which three guys screw over which other
guy to form the New Triple Threat, and we had Tommy/Justin/Lance in the lead
before the ending came and went. Oh well.
>
>
>> - Main event, FTW title v. ECW title, Sabu v. Taz. Thank god this show
>> is almost over.
>
>I'm tempted to say the same thing about this report, but i find it amusing to
>take a peek inside the mind of a masochist. Freak me out, baby!
>
Hey, you've agreed with 75% of my report...
>
>
>> Taz makes it falls count anywhere, which never comes into play.
>
>There was at least one two count on the floor. Not much, granted...
>
This is friggin' ECW. There's always at least one two count on the floor...
>
>
>> We'll be generous and go ** for the spots
>
>What else were you expecting? I mean, anyone who's seen these guys has to know
>going in what he/she's going to get. I'm not saying that you should wear out
>your 8 key with all the stars... It's just that I know that the scope of *my*
>wrestling fandom allows me to enjoy spotfests.
It's not just that it was a spotfest, it was a one-man show spotfest. Taz did
jack shit. If I want to see Sabu doing the same bumps he's been doing for
years, I'll go back and watch tapes from 1992 when he was still good.
And who REALLY wanted to see Taz v. Sabu again, anyway? Was the match THAT
important to Paul E? I mean, EVERY FRIGGIN PPV the guy does gets a .20
buyrate anyway, so why not try something new and different? For instance, Taz
v. Sid, which is what the mutants want to see. Do I? No. But Sid is a money
machine, and that's what ECW needs right now. Push Sid to the moon, make
millions off him, then fire him and use his contract to buy some good
wrestlers. Simple as that.
That's why I got the PPV: I
>figured three of the matches would have enough enough of a "that there dood just
>flipped and landed on his fool head! Hee-yuck!" factor that I'd dig them. And
>since those three matches delivered, I was satisfied.
Good for you. I'm a little more picky, in that if a company is going to
compare itself to another, much more successful company, and then deliver a
product this is significantly worse than the show they were bashing, I'll take
offense at having my intelligence insulting, but maybe that's just me.
>Since there was a lot of
>other crap that didnt deliver anything remotely useful, I cant get too excited
>about the PPV, but it was okay.
>
Yes, well, if "It was okay" is all that Paul E can deliver anymore, maybe it's
time he found a different source of revenue than PPV.
>> my Long Island iced tea and rum & Coke only came to 8 bucks total.
>
>You watched an ECW PPV with only two drinks in you? Well, THERE's your problem!
>You *never* want to watch ECW in a state approaching sobriety. That would be
>like getting in your top hat and tails to go to an AC/DC show. Now I can easily
>see why you'd see Taz suplex Sabu out of the ring through a table and say "That
>spot was not properly built up, nor is the selling adequate" instead of "Jeepers,
>that feller must be busted up but GOOD!" And if you dont wanna do that, why the
>hell would you want to watch ECW?
>
Here's the conversation I had with my roommate the night before, paraphrased
and embellished, with translation from ECWMutant-to-English:
Me: I don't think I'm going to the show tomorrow.
Zen: But it's got Taz against Sabu! And Lance Storm is wrestling! You like
him.
Me. No. I think the show will suck and I really don't feel like wasting the
20 bucks on drinks so I can enjoy it.
Zen: No, really, I heard Public Enemy is going to show up and everything!
And the Simpsons is a repeat anyway.
So I agreed to go. But, if you ask Zenon or anyone else who knows me, I NEVER
make plans to go see ECW shows. I generally have to be coerced and/or drugged
to go, which is what happened here. And I figured since I was getting dragged
to go see it, I might as well rant and share my pain with the world. Cuz I'm
that kind of guy. Trust me, I have literally years worth of ECW TV that
people send me dating back to late 1996 that I've never even watched. I
normally take great pains not watch ECW, much like Tom Green and FMW
tournaments, but because my roommate is fanatically devoted to all three it
becomes unavoidable sometimes.
Plus I'm still bitter because my "EC F'n W" shirt from Bob Ryder cost me
nearly $50 with shipping and was really late. But that's another story.
have clue--will travel
>
>Plus I'm still bitter because my "EC F'n W" shirt from Bob Ryder cost me
>nearly $50 with shipping and was really late. But that's another story.
Ironically, mine cost me a little over six bucks at the local Spencer's
last month. It was on a rack with a bunch of other shirts and Valentine's
Day paraphrenalia on 50% clearance sale. Yep, when you think Valentine's
Day... think ECW.
(They also had some nWo and misc. WCW shirts on the rack, but I left them
there.)
jeff. when your shirts are on clearance and
N'Sync is full price, it's time to shake
something up in your organization. ;)
--
/^\_(>o<) [full orchestral arrangement of Hello, Dolly] [tm Stephen Tanner]
| | Hello Kitty!
| O . O | -- I'm Hello Kitty!
\_______/ Here to send you back to hell where you belong!
Todd Gerth
> Act sane, see Todd Gerth <tge...@ix.netcom.com>:
>
> >Scott Keith wrote:
> >
> >> The Netcop Rant for Living Dangerously 1999.
> >>
> >> - Opening match: Super Crazy v. Yoshihiro Tajiri. Talk about blatantly
> >> sucking up to the workrate contingent.
> >
> >Scott starts early with the "ECW can't do anything right" gimmick he continues
> >throughout the report. Complaining b/c they scheduled a potentially good match?
> >I dont get it, but I also dont get going out of your way to watch a PPV you know
> >you're not going to like. Whatever, I guess there aint much to do in Canada...
>
> I'm complaining because of scheduling a potentially good match that we've
> already seen. Why not schedule TWO potentially good matches using Crazy
> against one guy and Tajiri against another?
Uh, like who? Antifaz maybe (although he didnt look that great in his match). I
assume that if they could get Reckless Youth or TAKA, they'd have done it. (actually,
I was kind of figuring that they scheduled this match for the 100th time so that they
could bring out one of those guys and make it a three way dance. Who wins the
months-long feud? The debuting guy! Typical ECW logic, right?)
> Hey, there's always that Steve Corino guy...
Like I said, he really didnt impress me.
> >> - Ballz Mahoney v. Steve Corino. Crowd dies. Total squash until Corino
> >> gets a chair and teases it forever, then decides to have a seat and apply
> >> a chinlock instead. Har har. Ballz escapes then pastes him with a
> >> greco-roman chairshot and pins him. Pointless drek. DUD
> >
> >The worst part is that Corino looked pretty lousy even during the parts that
> >resembled wrestling. I thought he was one of them hot indie juniors or
> >something...
>
> Ballz is not the guy to showcase a wrestler with.
Yeah, but you lose a lot of "hot indie junior" points with me when your pescado is as
listless as Corino's was. It was Dreameresque. Jeff Hardy's on Shotgun is what one
should aspire to. Well, actually, for the true textbook example, I think I'd take it
back to the Great Muta's in his Clash of the Champions match vs Steve Casey back in 88
or whatever.
> >> - ECW TV title: Rob Van Dam v. Jerry Lynn. The big question here is
> >> whether Paul E does the obvious, or does the swerve, or does the swerve
> >> swerve, thereby going back to the obvious again. Those would be "RVD
> >> wins", "Lynn wins" or "RVD wins in screwy fashion", respectively.
> >
> >Sadly, Styles picking Lynn to win pretty much threw out my prediction for an
> >upset from the get-go.
>
> I wouldn't have wanted Lynn to get the belt here. He just has no credibility
> or personality at this point.
I figure the title's got to go to somebody so that RVD can move up. I guess Storm is
a possibility, but I've got no problem with Lynn (actually I really like him, but I
recognize the weaknesses that Scott mentions). I wish it had been Tanaka, but Paul E
managed to blow that one. I guess another possibility is that Credible could take it
to add heat to a future world title feud.
> >> I toy with the idea of rating the match based on one * for every nickel bag of
> >> pot Rob had before the match, but he seems lucid enough so I ditch the
> >> idea. Van Dam is just crazy over here. They're gonna have to main
> >> event the guy pretty soon.
> >
> >Well, yeah....there aint gonna be anybody else left by June! Can RVD do a
> >spotfest all by himself? Tune in to November to Remember '99!
>
> Dammit, Todd, who would hold the chair then?
RVD! Whole fuckin show, dooooooood!!! He holds the chair, spins and kicks it into
his own face!! OH MY GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD!!!!!!!!!
> >I think you missed out on some of the psychology of this match. It was all about
> >how they'd faced each other so many times before.
>
> I've personally never seen them wrestle and I didn't hear Joey say anything
> about it, so I'll take your word for it.
The swinging DDT-->Northern Lights suplex was in the opening TV montage, if memory
serves. But if you dont watch the TV show and didnt see the pregame show, you might
have missed it. I just checked the PPV opening montage and it wasnt there. I also
noticed that Taz was nowhere to be seen in the PPV opening montage. I guess that was
foreshadowing of him not doing anything in the main event...
> > That was established early on
> >by the reversal sequence (which you described as pointless). I also liked the
> >fact that they expanded on some of their move sequences from previous matches,
> >which bolstered this psychology. You had the splits-dropdown which Lynn reversed
> >into a legdrop. There was the swinging DDT-->Northern Lights suplex-->no,
> >swinging DDT and I mean it this time, dammit. The first Van Daminator attempt
> >sequence which ended with RVD getting squashed on the chair. Lynn reversing the
> >monkeyflip onto the chair spot with a powerbomb. Hmm, after the reversal of
> >RVD's springboard attempt, you did say "it's about time somebody did that", so
> >maybe you *were* hip to the storyline...
>
> I liked all that stuff, sure. **3/4 isn't a bad match. It's a totally
> enjoyable match. But I just got through watching J Cup 95 again last night
> and the first three matches on the show completely blow this one away and I
> only had *them* at about *** each.
>
> I didn't hate the RVD match at all. I like RVD. I just don't think he's a
> very good wrestler. Much like I like the Rock, but I don't think he's a very
> good wrestler either. I can enjoy matches with them without piling on the
> stars at will.
I guess that's why I dont do star ratings. It's kinda like how I recognize that
"Damage" by Yo La Tengo is much more artful/emotional/skillfully written, but I can
still really enjoy listening to "Damage, Inc." by Metallica. It just seems tough to
compare. I just saw J-Cup 95 about two weeks ago and those three matches were really
good, but I have a tough time comparing them to RVD vs Lynn.
> What Paul E needs to do is find a competent junior like Taka or Togo and have
> RVD wrestle them every night for a year until he becomes good sheerly out of
> force of habit.
While that would be nice, that wouldnt help ECW's financial woes. Sadly, I think they
need RVD as a main eventer too badly to give him more time to develop. And heck, he's
worked in All Japan, fer cryin out loud. If he wanted to become a complete wrestler,
he'd be closer by now. I think he prefers the 'pro wrestler/martial arts movie star'
hybrid thing that he's doing now.
> >So basically, the match had cool spots, nice workrate, good crowd heat (didnt
> >expect that chant for Lynn), and a sufficient storyline. It lacked much in the
> >way of long-term selling and build-up to the spots. For my money, the pluses
> >outweighed the minues. By a good bit, actually.
>
> Sure, I agree. It wasn't worth anything more than **3/4, but I wasn't
> complaining about it or anything. It was probably my favorite match of the
> show.
Hmmm, did you forget that you gave the opener ***, or are you saying that higher star
rating does not automatically mean most enjoyable?
> But when I watch NJ juniors a day after and the worst match on the show
> is about as good as this one then it makes it hard to gush over it.
I wouldnt agree with that, since I couldnt really get into any of Gedo's matches, even
vs Liger and Benoit. Why didnt they give the WAR push to Ultimo Dragon? (yeah, I
know, building new stars, blahblahblah) UD vs Liger would have been even better if it
had been the final.
> >> - Mr. Mustafa v. NuJack. Mustafa looks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
> >> Really, really pathetic assortment of weapons tonight, including a
> >> plastic lawnmower and a breakaway guitar that breaks away before it
> >> hits. So they trade awful looking weapon shots for a minute, then fight
> >> to the balcony, where NuJack *tapes* Mustafa to a table, then does a
> >> balcony dive...and MISSES. Badly.
> >
> >So badly that he managed to break through the table. Wait, if he broke the
> >table, he must have hit, right? (answer: yes, he hit the spot. Scott was just
> >being crabby.)
>
> Oh, lord, a table breaking without significant contact being made. Somebody
> call Ripley's. How could they possibly accomplish such a feat? I'm confused.
Aha! "Significant contact"! (yeah, I know...semantics. I was just pointing out that
you were being over-critical, IMHO)
> > There was plenty to criticize in this "match" (and you hit some of the other
> >points), but the only real problem with the dive was that it was more interesting
> >last year when Spike and New Jack did it simultaneously.
>
> It was never interesting. It's about as interesting as Mick Foley jumping off
> every point in the arena in the name of "entertainment" -- it's just stunt
> bumping. It's ECW's ridiculous one-up-manship policy that led to Tommy
> Dreamer getting put through 19 tables or whatever it was.
But in Dreamer and New Jack's case, that's all they got. You're gonna put them on PPV
and take away the only entertainment tool they've got? Kinda like putting Carrot Top
in a movie and not letting him use props, dontcha think? Actually, it probably would
have been really entertaining if New Jack and Mustapha tried to have a scientific mat
wrestling match.
> >> covers a LOT of shitty matches. There was NO wrestling, and they didn't
> >> even do the spots right. So FUCK THEM.
> >
> >I dont pretend to know about those snowflakes you put after the matches, but I
> >didnt really see anything here to make it go under a DUD, personally. I mean, it
> >was a garbage match, so you shouldnt expect any actual "wrestling", in the
> >traditional sense.
>
> I didn't expect wrestling in the traditional sense. I like New Jack's brawls.
> He has a flair for making the dull exciting in those things and I usually
> enjoy watching him do so.
Really? Hmm, I havent enjoyed any New jack stuff in quite awhile, personally. I
guess the last thing was the table dive at last year's Living Dangerously.
> >> - The Dudleys (thank god) run in and clear out the crap. Gertner does
> >> his bit, and it's not really funny tonight. They issue an open
> >> challenge. Public Enema? No, even better...Spike Dudley and Supernova!
> >> Wow, that'll save this shitty PPV. And of course they get creamed.
> >> Mangled. Slaughtered. No offense whatsoever. And it takes FOREVER to do it.
> >
> >If you cross reference 1wrestling with Scott Keith, you learn that FOREVER
> >happens in two and a half minutes. 'Tis a fast paced world in which we live...
>
> C'mon, who *couldn't* squash Nova and Spke in two and a half minutes? Who
> wanted to see it in the first place?
I kinda wanted to see Nova on the PPV. On the other hand, I wanted to see him in an
actual match....
> >> A kick to the head from Francine and
> >> a fisherman's buster finishes it. No turns, no surprises. **1/4
> >
> >Yeah, I wasnt expecting much out of this b/c, like you, I only really like one of
> >the four. But I did expect some kind of interesting booking. Whoops, no luck
> >there.
>
> We were sitting there taking bets on which three guys screw over which other
> guy to form the New Triple Threat, and we had Tommy/Justin/Lance in the lead
> before the ending came and went. Oh well.
Hey, that was my guess as well. (barring any appearance from Funk or Candido).
> >> We'll be generous and go ** for the spots
> >
> >What else were you expecting? I mean, anyone who's seen these guys has to know
> >going in what he/she's going to get. I'm not saying that you should wear out
> >your 8 key with all the stars... It's just that I know that the scope of *my*
> >wrestling fandom allows me to enjoy spotfests.
>
> It's not just that it was a spotfest, it was a one-man show spotfest. Taz did
> jack shit. If I want to see Sabu doing the same bumps he's been doing for
> years, I'll go back and watch tapes from 1992 when he was still good.
>
> And who REALLY wanted to see Taz v. Sabu again, anyway?
I was curious to see if they'd put Sabu over (seemed unlikely) or how they would make
Taz going over interesting. Neither happened. I mean, the handshake at the end is a
new thing for them, but I cant say I care that much.
> Was the match THAT
> important to Paul E? I mean, EVERY FRIGGIN PPV the guy does gets a .20
> buyrate anyway, so why not try something new and different? For instance, Taz
> v. Sid, which is what the mutants want to see. Do I? No. But Sid is a money
> machine, and that's what ECW needs right now. Push Sid to the moon, make
> millions off him, then fire him and use his contract to buy some good
> wrestlers. Simple as that.
That might be interesting. Sid might be too tall for Taz to suplex him. And Taz isnt
going to bump his ass off to make Sid's offense interesting. What the hell would they
do? Punch each other for 15 minutes? Tune in and find out!
> That's why I got the PPV: I
> >figured three of the matches would have enough enough of a "that there dood just
> >flipped and landed on his fool head! Hee-yuck!" factor that I'd dig them. And
> >since those three matches delivered, I was satisfied.
>
> Good for you. I'm a little more picky, in that if a company is going to
> compare itself to another, much more successful company, and then deliver a
> product this is significantly worse than the show they were bashing, I'll take
> offense at having my intelligence insulting, but maybe that's just me.
Well, ECW PPV's *are* 1/3 less expensive than the other guys.... It's a
bang-for-your-buck kinda thing.
> >Since there was a lot of
> >other crap that didnt deliver anything remotely useful, I cant get too excited
> >about the PPV, but it was okay.
>
> Yes, well, if "It was okay" is all that Paul E can deliver anymore, maybe it's
> time he found a different source of revenue than PPV.
Perhaps novelizations of his live events would be more compelling. (well, maybe books
on tape would be more appropriate)
todd
--
"Hush...that's unmanly." -- Tajomaru, "Rashomon"
Gancarski
>Actually, it probably would
>have been really entertaining if New Jack and Mustapha tried to have a
>scientific mat
>wrestling match.
OH MY GOD! NU JACK with a front chancery -- they're up to their feet, now...
waistlock, standing switch... Mustapha with a hip toss! Take that, Ric Flair!
Your barbed wire is rubber!!!
>I was curious to see if they'd put Sabu over (seemed unlikely) or how they
>would make
>Taz going over interesting. Neither happened. I mean, the handshake at the
>end is a
>new thing for them, but I cant say I care that much.
It just seems to me that they're going so slowly with this because RVD isn't
ready to be a main event guy and it's almost spring, so Sid will have other
commitments. Though I'm of the opinion Heyman should ditch the heavies for the
most part and go with indie juniors and Toryumon types, whom I'm sure would
work cheap, Heyman seems paralyzed by not wanting to lose what market share he
has. In a strange way, it reminds me of the last days of SMW, when the booking
was crap and Bobby Blaze was a champ (and please don;t tell me about Buena
Vista...)
>That might be interesting. Sid might be too tall for Taz to suplex him. And
>Taz isnt
>going to bump his ass off to make Sid's offense interesting. What the hell
>would they
>do? Punch each other for 15 minutes? Tune in and find out!
And SID with a **crippling** rear chinlock!
>
>> Good for you. I'm a little more picky, in that if a company is going to
>> compare itself to another, much more successful company, and then deliver a
>> product this is significantly worse than the show they were bashing, I'll
>take
>> offense at having my intelligence insulting, but maybe that's just me.
>
>Well, ECW PPV's *are* 1/3 less expensive than the other guys.... It's a
>bang-for-your-buck kinda thing.
Come on, Todd. That PPV was mostly garbage. Is there anything on it you'd watch
again, for any reason?
>It's kinda like how I recognize that
>"Damage" by Yo La Tengo is much more artful/emotional/skillfully written, but
>I can
>still really enjoy listening to "Damage, Inc." by Metallica.
How's the Yo La Tengo/Jad Fair collab anyway? I got talked out of it at my
local indie shop...
>> Yes, well, if "It was okay" is all that Paul E can deliver anymore, maybe
>it's
>> time he found a different source of revenue than PPV.
>
>Perhaps novelizations of his live events would be more compelling. (well,
>maybe books
>on tape would be more appropriate)
Oooh! Oooh!
Interior monologue from Sid Eudy:
And they said I was master of powerbomb and all I want was to hold scissor and
Arn wouldn't let go of scissor and I said...
I think you're on to something here.
Tony Gancarski.
C is the Heavenly Option.
have clue--will travel
Todd Gerth <tge...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>Scott Keith wrote:
>
>> I'm complaining because of scheduling a potentially good match that we've
>> already seen. Why not schedule TWO potentially good matches using Crazy
>> against one guy and Tajiri against another?
>
>Uh, like who? Antifaz maybe (although he didnt look that great in his match). I
>assume that if they could get Reckless Youth or TAKA, they'd have done it. (actually,
>I was kind of figuring that they scheduled this match for the 100th time so that they
>could bring out one of those guys and make it a three way dance. Who wins the
>months-long feud? The debuting guy! Typical ECW logic, right?)
Whether the new "feud" started at the PPV or the next set of house shows,
they had to find two new opponents for Crazy and Tajiri anyway. This was
the end of the best-of-157 and they're not just going to start a new one.
Pity that Lance Storm is tied up in storyline hell at this point, as he's
a reasonable size to wrestle those two and has international experience.
Now, is the world ready for... say... Crazy/Antifaz, Tajiri/Chris Chetti
and Crazy/Spike Dudley, Tajiri/Corino? I'm not sure I am in all of those
cases, though it _would_ be nice to see Spike wrestle someone less than
double his weight.
>> Hey, there's always that Steve Corino guy...
>
>Like I said, he really didnt impress me.
Given the opponent...
>> >The worst part is that Corino looked pretty lousy even during the parts that
>> >resembled wrestling. I thought he was one of them hot indie juniors or
>> >something...
>>
>> Ballz is not the guy to showcase a wrestler with.
>
>Yeah, but you lose a lot of "hot indie junior" points with me when your pescado is as
>listless as Corino's was. It was Dreameresque. Jeff Hardy's on Shotgun is what one
>should aspire to. Well, actually, for the true textbook example, I think I'd take it
>back to the Great Muta's in his Clash of the Champions match vs Steve Casey back in 88
>or whatever.
If I had Balls Mahoney as the guy catching me (and literally catching, not
just sticking his body in the way to cushion the fall), I wouldn't get
too fancy either. I'm reserving judgement on Corino until he wrestles
someone less than double his weight a few times in ECW.
And for all the Balls-bashing, he's not THAT bad at what he is, i.e. a
brain-dead, ass-kicking, hyper-violent brute character. He's at least
willing to try moves beyond punch/kick/chairshot/finisher. It's the booking
that makes him seem horrible in this case. Make it a Balls/whoever vs.
Dudley Boyz best-of-157 and keep three or more brawlers away from the
little guys for a while, and I'm happy.
>I figure the title's got to go to somebody so that RVD can move up. I guess Storm is
>a possibility, but I've got no problem with Lynn (actually I really like him, but I
>recognize the weaknesses that Scott mentions). I wish it had been Tanaka, but Paul E
>managed to blow that one. I guess another possibility is that Credible could take it
>to add heat to a future world title feud.
Lynn has enough talent to credibly (no pun intended) take the belt from RVD.
His return match would've been a nice twist, but a few "almost won it"s for
Lynn will make the inevitable title victory sweeter. I ask only one thing;
when RVD loses the title, make it CLEAN. Don't have fourteen guys run in
and demand title shots later that night in return for their help. Maybe
trade the belt back and forth a bit.
>> What Paul E needs to do is find a competent junior like Taka or Togo and have
>> RVD wrestle them every night for a year until he becomes good sheerly out of
>> force of habit.
>
>While that would be nice, that wouldnt help ECW's financial woes. Sadly, I think they
>need RVD as a main eventer too badly to give him more time to develop. And heck, he's
>worked in All Japan, fer cryin out loud. If he wanted to become a complete wrestler,
>he'd be closer by now. I think he prefers the 'pro wrestler/martial arts movie star'
>hybrid thing that he's doing now.
Ick.
For one thing, break up RVD/Sabu. That only encourages RVD to be a fruitcake
in the ring and use more props than Gallagher. They've been teasing the
split for months, so DO it already and get it over with.
Then let RVD win a few big matches WITHOUT the Van Daminator. He can
rationalize it as "Hey, I'm the whole f'n show, I don't _need_ props"
in so many words.
Then let him challenge "Perfect Weapon" Jeff Speakman. Oh, wait, the drugs
must be taking hold... Auntie Em... Auntie Em... Toto!
>> It was never interesting. It's about as interesting as Mick Foley jumping off
>> every point in the arena in the name of "entertainment" -- it's just stunt
>> bumping. It's ECW's ridiculous one-up-manship policy that led to Tommy
>> Dreamer getting put through 19 tables or whatever it was.
>
>But in Dreamer and New Jack's case, that's all they got. You're gonna put them on PPV
>and take away the only entertainment tool they've got? Kinda like putting Carrot Top
>in a movie and not letting him use props, dontcha think? Actually, it probably would
>have been really entertaining if New Jack and Mustapha tried to have a scientific mat
>wrestling match.
Beware what you ask for. :)
The problem is that Dreamer and New Jack have been painted into a corner.
They're garbage brawlers without anyone new to brawl with, or anything new
to try (okay, the plastic lawn mower was a new one on me). Who do you
throw New Jack against now, other than the Dudleys again and again?
Dreamer has some (VERY rudimentary) wrestling skills, enough to make a
match like TD/Shane/Storm/Justin at least watchable, but the Innovator
of Violence hasn't had anyone to innovate with for a while now.
Paging Luke and Butch. The old Sheepherders gimmick is calling.
>> And who REALLY wanted to see Taz v. Sabu again, anyway?
>
>I was curious to see if they'd put Sabu over (seemed unlikely) or how they would make
>Taz going over interesting. Neither happened. I mean, the handshake at the end is a
>new thing for them, but I cant say I care that much.
Which may be the _end_ of this feud between them, so that one can show up
without the other close behind at some point in their careers. This would
be a good thing.
Heyman needs to put everyone's name in a drum, spin it a few times and
pull out some new matchups.
jeff. As for Sid, he's PERFECT as the new 911,
IMHO. Sid matches == bad. Brief moments
of Sid ultraviolence == I can work with that.
Todd Gerth
> Todd Gerth writes:
>
> >Actually, it probably would
> >have been really entertaining if New Jack and Mustapha tried to have a
> >scientific mat wrestling match.
>
> OH MY GOD! NU JACK with a front chancery -- they're up to their feet, now...
> waistlock, standing switch...
I think watching the former Gangstas try to pull off a standing switch would be
even more amusing than watching Konnan's various do-si-do armdrag variations.
> >> Good for you. I'm a little more picky, in that if a company is going to
> >> compare itself to another, much more successful company, and then deliver a
> >> product this is significantly worse than the show they were bashing, I'll
> >take
> >> offense at having my intelligence insulting, but maybe that's just me.
> >
> >Well, ECW PPV's *are* 1/3 less expensive than the other guys.... It's a
> >bang-for-your-buck kinda thing.
>
> Come on, Todd. That PPV was mostly garbage. Is there anything on it you'd watch
> again, for any reason?
Sure. The Tajiri and Lynn matches I could see rewatching. And some of the other
stuff if one of my ECW lovin' casual fan friends wanted to see it. If Sabu died
tomorrow, I might rewatch his last PPV match. If someone paid me sufficiently, I'd
take another look at the Gangstas match. If Laura Silverman showed up at my front
door, smiled, and politely asked to see the Dudleys bit, I would invite her in.
(hey, *you* said "for any reason"--dont get my imagination started)
> >> Yes, well, if "It was okay" is all that Paul E can deliver anymore, maybe it's
>
> >> time he found a different source of revenue than PPV.
> >
> >Perhaps novelizations of his live events would be more compelling. (well,
> >maybe books on tape would be more appropriate)
>
> Oooh! Oooh!
>
> Interior monologue from Sid Eudy:
>
> And they said I was master of powerbomb and all I want was to hold scissor and
> Arn wouldn't let go of scissor and I said...
>
> I think you're on to something here.
...and as the emotionally and physically drained athletes struggled to return to
their feet to finish the battle, a rousing chant from the assembled throng began.
It rose to a fever pitch as the men managed to stand upright and rejoin the
battle. Long will I remember the hoarse-voiced cries of "Where's my pizza?".
Haya...@webtv.net
Tajiri match, and was better than every other match on this card? You
may be the Netcop and all, but that seems like pretty arbitrary ratings.
The RVD v. Lynn match was better than anything I've seen from the WWF in
1999, and it was only the 2nd best match on the card (Crazy v. Tajiri
being #1). With better endings I'd say that the Sabu v. Taz and the
Shane/Dreamer v. JC/Storm matches also surpassed just about everything
else I've seen from the WWF this year. Granted, everything else on the
card was absolutely putrid crap (Ballz, Corino, Sid, Dudleys, New Jack).
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
Hayabusa1