[WWE] [PPV] Hack Thoughts: 2009/2/15 No Way Out
Hack-Man
Tonight, I was back in IRC to watch WWE's PPV with Hitty and Rafiki.
I was most looking forward to the ECW match, but figured HBK would
make the JBL match interesting, and Shane should be taking a
mega-bump to appease the SpotFu geek in me. Neither of the
Elimination Chamber matches looked all that interesting on paper.
1. HHH over Edge and Undertaker and Jeff Hardy and Big Show and
Vladimir Kozlov in an Elimination Chamber to win the WWE Title in
36:00
I had to laugh at Undertaker being introduced first in the
curtain-jerker match. I was surprised at the early elimination of
Edge, as I didn't expect a title change in any of the three world
title matches tonight. Undertaker and Show are oddities, so they
don't need a belt to be over. Kozlov doesn't belong anywhere near a
belt. With Edge gone, that just left Jeff Hardy and HHH. Jeff did
a swanton off the top of a pod for what was apparently supposed to
be the highlight of this match. I was underwhelmed. At least
Batista is still injured so he wasn't stinking up this match. The
only highlights of past EC matches I could remember were Goldberg
spearing through the plexiglass and RVD collapsing HHH's throat. At
least we're done with Tazz for the night.
MATCH RATING: $1.00
Backstage, Edge complained to Vickie. Randy mumbled into the camera.
RATING: $0.00
2. Randy Orton over Shane McMahon in a No Holds Barred match in
18:15
Shane did a Van Terminator on Cody and then went through a gimmicked
announcer table. These are things we've seen before, and I was
hoping for something better. Blah. At least a superplex through a
table in the ring looked nice. Shane must not have any friends,
since no one ran to the ring to help *him* like Orton's flunkies did
for Randy.
MATCH RATING: $1.00
3. Jack Swagger over Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) to retain the ECW Title
in 8:00
For PPV, I was hoping these guy would get 20 minutes. Blah. This
was worse than the two matches they had on (almost-)free TV. The
Seattle crowd wasn't sophisticated enough to get into the match
anyway. At least the shillelagh (and almost Hornswoggle) didn't
play into the finish this time. Matt Striker was his usual amazing
self on commentary, giving us insight no one else in WWE (or TNA)
seems to be able to do (or is allowed to do). My theory is that
Vince doesn't even remember that he has a show on Tuesdays on SciFi
any more, so they're able to fly under the radar.
MATCH RATING: $1.00
Backstage HBK was praying. Something along the lines of "Jebus, let
me keep the rights to my name", I'm sure. Either that, or he
thought the "Christian" chants during the last match were for him.
RATING: $0.00
4. Shawn Michaels over JBL in an All or Nothing match in 13:30
Shawn's wife Becky was at ringside (but apparently didn't care about
the first three matches, as she wasn't there earlier). The fans
next to her spent pretty much the entire match staring at her
implants. They worked a deliberate match, as if they were going to
go 45 minutes. Becky (apparently trying to get Shawn DQed so he
would lose the rights to his name) punched JBL. After the match,
HBK kissed his wife several times, then hoister her over the
barricade and took her to the back so that she wouldn't be able to
enjoy the main event from her primo ringside seat.
MATCH RATING: $1.00
Jericho talked backstage in his new monotone.
RATING: $0.00
5. Edge over John Cena Chris Jericho and Kane and Mike Knox and Rey
Mysterio in an Elimination Chamber match to win the World Hvt.
Championship at 29:50
Kofi was the person I was third most looking forward to seeing
wrestle (after the 2 ECW guys) so I was disappointed that he was
taken out before the match even started, when Edge attacked him and
took his place in the Chamber (using the same WWE logic that allowed
HBK to get into the Benoit/HHH Mania match via a superkick and
signing his name to the contract). Cole tried to sell that the
cheap plexiglass was "bulletproof". Highlight was Rey hitting a
huricanrana from the top of a pod. Even after a year of calling
Raw, Cole still thinks he's on Smackdown, as he said "but Edge is
from RAW!!" Since Smackdown has two world titles, I assume we can
assume that a Raw wrestler will win MitB at Mania and pull a CM Punk
and bring a title back to Raw.
MATCH RATING: $1.00
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TOTAL MATCH RATING: $5.00
TOTAL SKIT RATING: $0.00
TOTAL PPV RATING: $5.00
TNA price of the PPV: $39.99
This is the first PPV in a looooong time that hasn't had any really
bad (<$1.00) matches on it. That said, nothing really stood out as
a Big Thing, either. Worst PPV since the 2002 No Way Out.
I spent $0.00 in gas and $0.00 on food, so by that token I got my
money's worth.
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For comparison, here's what I thought of the PPVs I saw in the last
decade-plus:
WWF Wrestlemania 1998 1998/03/ unrated
WCW Spring Stampede 1998 1998/04/19 $24.10
WWF IYH: Unforgiven 1998 1998/04/26 $ 9.95
WCW Slamboree 1998 1998/05/17 $27.95
WCW Great American Bash 1998 1998/06/14 $28.05
WWF King of the Ring 1998 1998/06/28 $22.50
WCW Bash at the Beach 1998 1998/07/12 $17.35
ECW Heatwave 1998 1998/08/02 $24.90
WCW Road Wild 1998 1998/08/08 $29.80
WWF IYH: Fully Loaded 1998 1998/07/26 $ 6.95
WWF SummerSlam 1998 1998/08/30 $10.20
WCW Fall Brawl 1998 1998/09/13 $23.60
WWF Judgement Day 1998 1998/10/18 $25.10
WCW Halloween Havoc 1998 1998/10/25 $49.50
ECW November to Remember 1998 1998/11/01 $25.75
WWF Survivor Series 1998 1998/11/15 $21.40
WWF IYH: Rock Bottom 1999 1998/12/13 $ 8.40
ECW Guilty as Charged 1999 1999/01/10 $26.10
WCW Souled Out 1999 1999/01/17 $29.10
WWF Royal Rumble 1999 1999/01/24 $23.00
WWF St Val Day Massacre 1999 1999/02/14 $20.90
WCW SuperBrawl 1999 1999/02/21 $21.35
WCW Uncensored 1999 1999/03/14 $32.00
ECW Living Dangerously 1999 1999/03/21 $25.90
WCW Spring Stampede 1999 1999/04/11 $38.00
WCW Slamboree 1999 1999/05/09 $21.10
ECW Hardcore Heaven 1999 1999/05/09 $15.30
WWF King of the Ring 1999 1999/06/27 $13.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 1999 1999/07/11 $20.70
WWF Fully Loaded 1999 1999/07/25 $10.80
WCW Road Wild 1999 1999/08/14 $13.90
WWF SummerSlam 1999 1999/08/22 $19.05
WCW Fall Brawl 1999 1999/09/12 $12.85
ECW Ararchy Rulz 1999 1999/09/19 $32.25
WWF No Mercy 1999 1999/10/17 $13.00
WCW Halloween Havoc 1999 1999/10/24 $ 3.35
ECW November to Remember 1999 1999/11/07 $28.45
WWF Survivor Series 1999 1999/11/14 $10.95
WCW Meyhem 1999 1999/11/21 $17.75
WWF Armageddon 1999 1999/12/12 $22.05
WCW Starrcade 1999 1999/12/19 $23.65
ECW Guilty as Charged 2000/01/09 $25.70
WCW Souled Out 2000/01/16 $13.20
WWF Royal Rumble 2000/01/23 $20.00
WWF No Way Out 2000/02/27 $16.95
ECW Living Dangerously 2000/03/12 $21.80
WCW Uncensored 2000/03/19 $21.65
WWF WrestleMania 2000/04/02 $22.05
WCW Spring Stampede 2000/04/16 $23.70
WWF Backlash 2000/04/30 $25.65
WCW Slamboree 2000/05/07 $23.55
ECW Hardcore Heaven 2000/05/14 $23.05
WWF Judgment Day 2000/05/21 $11.25
WCW Great American Bash 2000/06/11 $16.55
WWF King of the Ring 2000/06/25 $ 1.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 2000/07/09 missed
ECW Heat Wave 2000/07/16 $15.50
WWF Fully Loaded 2000/07/23 $24.40
WCW New Blood Rising 2000/08/13 $31.00
WWF SummerSlam 2000/08/27 $24.90
WCW 2000/09/17 missed
WWF Unforgiven 2000/09/24 $16.65
ECW Anarchy Rulz 2000/10/01 $21.30
ECW 2000/11/ missed
WWF Survivor Series 2000/11/ missed
ECW Massacre on 34th Street 2000/12/03 $ 9.65
WWF 2000/12/ missed
ECW Guilty As Charged 2001/01/07 $15.70
WWF 2001/01/ missed
WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001/02/18 $37.60
WCW Greed 2001/03/ missed
WWF WrestleMania 2001/04/01 $29.50
WWF 2001/05/ missed
WWF King of the Ring 2001/06/24 $16.55
WWF Invasion 2001/07/22 $15.25
WWF SummerSlam 2001/08/ missed
WWF 2001/09/ missed
WWF 2001/10/ missed
WWF Survivor Series 2001/11/18 $11.25
WWF Royal Rumble 2002/01/20 $14.15
WWF No Way Out 2002/02/17 $ 3.40
WWF WrestleMania 2002/03/17 $25.30/$36.40
WWF King of the Ring 2002/06/23 $ 6.55/$10.15
NWA TNA 2002/08/14 $11.60/$12.20
WWF SummerSlam 2002/08/25 $21.10/$21.10
WWF Unforgiven 2002/09/22 $17.50/$21.15
WWF No Mercy 2002/10/20 $16.85/$20.00
WWF Survivor Series 2002/11/17 $ 7.50/$ 9.20
WWF Royal Rumble 2003/01/19 $19.55/$19.55
WWF WrestleMania XIX 2003/03/30 $22.55/$23.45
WWE SummerSlam 2003/08/24 $16.25/$16.55
NWA TNA 2003/09/10 $12.50/$14.00
WWE Survivor Series 2003/11/16 $ 8.10/$ 8.60
WWE No Way Out 2004/02/15 $21.85/$22.95
WWE WrestleMania 20 2004/03/14 $36.90/$43.05
WWE Backlash 2004/04/18 $14.40/$14.70
WWE Vengeance 2004/07/11 $23.20/$23.90
WWE SummerSlam 2004/08/15 $17.00/$20.15
WWE Survivor Series 2004/11/14 $10.50/$13.10
TNA Final Resolution 2005/01/16 $39.00/$39.00
WWE Royal Rumble 2005/01/30 $15.25/$17.15
WWE WrestleMania 2005/04/03 $35.10/$36.90
WWE Judgment Day 2005/05/22 $17.45/$17.65
WWE/ECW One Night Stand 2005/06/12 $32.00/$34.35
WWE WrestleMania 2006/04/02 $25.85/$27.85
WWE/ECW One Night Stand 2006/06/11 $18.65/$20.05
WWE WrestleMania 2007/04/01 $20.60/$22.35
WWE Night of Champions 2008/06/29 $ 6.55/$ 6.60
WWE SummerSlam 2008/08/17 $ 5.00/$ 5.65
TNA No Surrender 2008/09/14 $18.95/$19.25
WWE No Mercy 2008/10/05 $ 7.20/$ 8.65
TNA Turning Point 2008/11/09 $19.80/$20.10
WWE Survivor Series 2008/11/23 $ 6.95/$ 7.15
TNA Final Resolution 2008/12/07 $ 6.90/$ 7.95
WWE Armageddon 2008/12/14 $ 5.50/$ 5.75
TNA Genesis 2009/01/11 $23.45/$23.55
WWE No Way Out 2009/02/15 $ 5.00/$ 5.00
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