[XCW] Friday Night X-Treme 1/5
XCWking22
(Camera cuts to Mikey Whipwreck walking into the building. He's got the XCW
World Title over his shoulder, a belly bag around his waist, and a pair of
tight sweats that would make Richard Simmons cringe. All of a sudden he see's a
few XCW jobbers...)
Jobber #1: Oh!! It's MIKEY!!! Hey Mikey!! Can we have your autograph?
Mikey: Heh sure...
Jobber #2: Good job in bringing us back to the US! It's just a shame you're
going to lose that title so soon. You would've been a great champion had you
not had to face such hard people.
Mikey: Hey wait a minute...I beat Misawa, and I took two Pedigrees.
Jobber #2: Yeah...but Misawa was drunk, and it looked to me as if Triple H
brought you back to your feet after each Pedigree.
Mikey: WHAT!? You two get no autographs...ungreatful people.
(Mikey storms off.)
Jobber #1: Ya know...they become champion, and then they think they can step on
the little people.
Jobber #2: Yeah!! Forget him!
(Camera fades)
(Camera cuts to a SOLD OUT crowd in Madison Square Garden. The fans are all
going wild as they're excited for the return of the XCW. Everyone is chanting
"USA, USA", and there's all kind of patriotic signs, flags, everything in the
crowd. Camera pans across the audience and we see signs that say.."Whipwreck =
Hobbit", "Tammy Sytch love her crack-o flakes", and "Rock Hard
Sushi".....fireworks go off and the fans pop even louder when they see Joey
Styles and Bobby Heenan at the commentating booth. The crowd starts up the
"Weasel" chant...and Heenan looks a little annoyed.)
Joey: Welcome everyone to X-Treme!!! We're back in the United States, and of
all places to return...we've come to Madison Square Garden. Fans have been
waiting outside all day to get into this arena, and we let them in about an
hour ago and they flooded in here. Fans as you can tell Jerry "The King" Lawler
isn't here tonight, he met a Geisha and fell in love, got married, had a baby
and another is on the way. So Bobby Heenan is here with me tonight. Welcome to
the show Bobby!
Bobby: First of all who are you? You look like the kid from those Olvaltine
commercials. I was told that I'd be working with someone like Jim Ross. I don't
mind working with him because he knows his business...you look like you know
more about stocks and bonds than headlocks and leglocks.
Joey: My name is Joey Styles, and I've been a wrestling fan all my life.
Bobby: I'm sure you have, but so has Hillbilly Jim. You don't see me thrown a
headset and microphone on the big oaf and tell him to call a match do you?
Joey: Uh...
Bobby: The answer is no...now don't worry kid. I'll teach you the ropes...they
don't call me "The Brain" for nothing. I used to manage Flair and Hennig you
know?
Joey: I do know.
Bobby: What'd your dad tell you? You couldn't have seen me do it you're only 12
years old.
Joey: 28....
Bobby: Well are we going to get on with our first match or what? Come on!!!
Joey: Fans lets take you to our first match here tonight on X-Treme.
Bobby: That's good...little more umph.
FINK: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is set for one
fall...introducing first from Stone Mountain, GA....he weighs in at 260 pounds.
Here is Jake "The Snake" Roberts!!!
(His infamous old WWF music starts to play and he walks out with a bag full of
Damien. He sneers as he walks down to the ring, and throws the bag into the
ring...then slides in himself. Jake works the crowd a little and then waits for
Raven to arrive...)
FINK: And his opponent...from Short Hills, NJ. He weighs in at 245
pounds...here is Raven!!
(Raven comes down to the ring with a very angry look on his face...he starts
running into the ring and slides in. Raven and Jake start throwing blows right
away...)
Joey: Jake and Raven with lefts and rights back and forth.....Jake gets the
upperhand now.
<Jake unloads with those potent jabs that he has.>
Bobby: You think Jakes attitude is real? I mean we've seen him go back and
forth, and back and forth, and I just think that he's not about to shape up.
Joey: I think this time with Terry Funk behind him he'll be able to handle it.
Terry Funk used to drink with the best of them, and now he's cleaned up his
act. Why can Jake Roberts do the same thing?
Bobby: Because he's Jake Roberts.
Joey: Jake has that side headlock in pretty good, but Raven whips him into the
ropes.
<Raven with a high knee to the face.>
Joey: Oh and Raven with a high knee right to the face of Jake, and he falls
down to the canvas. What and odd pairing today...Raven has Jake both have their
demons, and darkside...I'm suprised they didn't shake hands before the match.
Bobby: I don't think Jake has demons...I think he has too much alcohol in his
system to have anything in his body. Everything has drown....
Joey: Raven kicks away on the lower back of Jake. Raven runs to the ropes.
<Drops a knee to the back>
Joey: Raven comes crashing down, and he does it again. It looks like he's going
after those kidneys...
Bobby: Well you figure if anything is weak on Jakes body it has to be those or
his liver...
Joey: Raven just stalking over Roberts, and I don't think Jake was ready to
return to the ring. I don't think that Jake was prepared at all, but I guess he
and Terry thought so.
Bobby: You think too much. Why don't you just let the words flow out of your
mouth. That's what McMahon used to do, and look where it got him.
Joey: Yeah...did you like to listen to him talk? It was like a mega-phone was
stuck in his throat.
Bobby: I never liked McMahon anyway.
Joey: Is there anyone you do like?
Bobby: Me.
Joey: I thought so. Raven backs Jack into the corner and he drives another knee
into the stomach of Jake, and another one. Raven with a series of punches to
the head now, and Jake slumps down against the turnbuckle.
Bobby: I bet Jake is feeling as good right now as he did on his daughters
wedding day!
Joey: He didn't even go to his daughters wedding...
Bobby: Well he would've, but he was so drunk he ended up in the wrong place.
Joey: What happened?
Bobby: Well he ended up congratulating a cow, because he thought the cow farm
was the reception. He just couldn't figure out why they kept saying "Moooo".
<Raven goes outside and brings in a Yield Sign. Jake staggers to his feet and
Raven nails him with a shot to the forehead, and another one.>
Joey: OH...Jake hasn't taken that kind of blow sinc....
Bobby: Since Missy Hyatt came back to town!!!
Joey: I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole. Jake Roberts is
seeing stars right now as Raven has brought out the weapons of choice. Raven
just walking around the dazed Jake, and he nails him again with the Yield Sign
on the back of the head, and Jake drops to his knees.
Bobby: Raven should be making a pin right now. I don't care who you
are...finish Jake off as SOON as possible or he'll hit that DDT and it'll be
over.
Joey: We saw this past Monday with Raven hitting his Evenflow, and Vader kicked
out of it. Could we see Raven do the same thing?
Bobby: Well it depends on how much Thunderbird he has in him.
Joey: You ever hear of AA?
Bobby: Arn Anderson? Yeah he's a great wrestler.
Joey: Nevermind. Raven throws the Yield sign down, and he's calling for the
Evenflow. Here is comes...NO!!! Jake backs out of it...he knows that move like
the back of his hand. He's not going to fall pray to his own move. Jake is back
up now and he wipes his mouth with his forearm....
Bobby: This has been a very uneventful match.
Joey: Jake and Raven are having words, and Jake gets right in Ravens face.
What's this all about? Jake is telling Raven to pick up the sign and hit him in
the head with it. He's telling him to give him his best shot....
Bobby: Heh don't ask Raven to do it....
Joey: Raven bends down to pick up the sign...JAKE WITH THE DDT!!!! He plants
Raven into the mat with that DDT, and the crowd goes nuts.
Bobby: Don't trust a snake!!!
Joey: Roberts goes for the cover....1!! 2!! 3!!!
FINK: Here is your winner...Jake Roberts!!!
Joey: Roberts has pulled of a win here tonight by sure luck, and here comes
Terry Funk to celebrate with him.
Bobby: Ugh...can we leave the old people at the retirement home for just one
night? Come on!
Joey: Terry hands Jake a bottle of water, and Jake smiles with appreciation.
Both men embrace in the middle of the ring, and I think Terry Funk is good for
Jake Roberts. What a pair these two make!!!
(Camera cuts to Triple H who is warming up in his dressing room. He looks very
intense as he doesn't want to lose his match tonight...all of a sudden Kurt
Angle walks in.)
Triple H: What the hell do you want?
Kurt: Hey buddy. Aren't you glad to back in the USA?
Triple H: I don't like you, Kurt, and never call me buddy again. We might be
tag team partners tonight, but that doesn't mean we're friends. That doesn't
mean that you can just come in here whenever you want to...you can't. So I want
you to turn around and just walk out that door, and I'll see you in our match.
Kurt: Bu...
(Triple H walks right up to Angle...)
Triple H: Leave now...
Kurt: Fine..but lets make one thing clear here "The Game". You can't bully me
around..I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, and I'm awesome! So when you try to step
up to me just remember who you're dealing with BUDDY!!! I'll see you in the
ring...it's true...it's DAMN true.
(Kurt storms out, and Triple H turns around.)