OT President Bush's Resume
The Hammer
George W. Bush
The White House, USA
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of
alcohol.
I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for
30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug
use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat
duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The
company went bankrupt
shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
land using
taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
industry (including Enron
CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per
week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.
Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs
and that trend
continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in
U.S. history.
My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the
most corporate
campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or
prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky
affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate
rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
to intervene when
corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government
contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
Presidenin U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in
the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby
have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any
President
since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the
worst security failure
in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and
less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in
the world,
the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in
public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person
in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and
the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against
the will of the United
Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for
active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq, then
blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
tojustice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and
unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.
Bobby Knight
wrote:
Ooooooh. You're not going to be LLLLLLarry's new best friend anymore.
Ben.
Man, I'm glad your crazy ass returned to bring golf back into RSG.
Just when we needed you least...
Ben.
Man, I'm glad your crazy ass returned to bring golf back into RSG.
Norman
> The Hammer wrote:
>
> Man, I'm glad your crazy ass returned to bring golf back into RSG.
> Just when we needed you least...
You should learn how to snip. Consider this a lesson.
zumafan
The Hammer wrote:
> George W. Bush
> The White House, USA
>
> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
> LAW ENFORCEMENT:
>
The Hammer
"
Larry and I agree on a few issues, diasagree on a few. Regardless, I
consider him a good friend and would play golf with him on an overgrown
cornfield before I would play Augusta with the likes of you.
the Hammer
bigol...@yahoo.com
The Hammer wrote:
> Larry and I agree on a few issues, diasagree on a few. Regardless, I
> consider him a good friend and would play golf with him on an overgrown
> cornfield before I would play Augusta with the likes of you.
>
> the Hammer
I'm guessing that you've never met Larry or even spoken with him, yet,
you consider him a good friend.
Bobby Knight
wrote:
>"Ooooooh. You're not going to be LLLLLLarry's new best friend anymore.
You would never get the chance.
___,
\o
|
/ \
.
"Someone likes every shot"!
bk
MnMikew
"The Hammer" <bugg...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1148520378.5...@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
Still better than yours.
Bobby Knight
wrote:
>
>"The Hammer" <bugg...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>news:1148520378.5...@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>>
>Still better than yours.
>
Damn. It's no fun when you and I agree. :-)
"R&B"
DING! DING! DING!
BINGO! WE A WINNER!!!
DON PARDO, TELL HIM WHAT HE'S WON!!!
This is precisely what always seemed so strange about Mr. Strulowitz to me.
Back before he totally flipped his lid in a series of venomous, juvenile and
shameful personal attacks on yours truly, Eric had behaved towards me as if
we were lifelong bossom buddies. That always seemed quite odd to me,
considering that the only time I'd ever spent with him in person was at a
couple of RSG events and one or two other rounds of golf where the talk was
mostly of the light, superficial, social conversation variety -- certainly
nothing that would ever forge what one might call a bond of any kind. Yet
he talked as if we went way back. To characterize he behavior at this stage
of our "relationship" as presumptuous and disingenuous would not be
stretching the point in the least.
My warning to LLLLarry is this: If Hammer calls you his friend today, you
can rest assured that you won't be his friend for long. The list of people
who've personally experienced this pattern is pretty long already.
Randy