RSFC New User's Guide
Javed Aslam
forthcoming RSFC FAQ. The New User's Guide will be posted weekly until
the entire FAQ is complete. Note that this guide is *not* the entire FAQ,
and as such it references portions of the FAQ which are not contained below.
Please direct all questions and comments to either Tony D (an...@ufcc.ufl.edu)
or myself (j...@das.harvard.edu).
Jay Aslam
ND '87
**********
Modification history:
v1.3 -- Added IMO, AP Poll, UPI Poll, CNN/USA Today Poll, Coaches Poll,
8/11/94 Writers Poll, NC, Sig and Killfile to the Dictionary of Terms.
Modified references to material not contained in this guide.
Other minor corrections.
**********
I. New User's Guide
REC.SPORT.FOOTBALL.COLLEGE is a USENET newsgroup created for the
discussion of all things related to college football. Anyone who
has ever actually *attended* a college football game knows that
football itself is only a part of the picture; the quality of
barbeque and beer served at the pre-game tailgater matters as much
to the college football connoisseur as the quality of pass blocking.
In that vein, the discussion on RSFC often runs seemingly far off
the beaten path. Unlike most other USENET groups, pleas to restrict
the discussion to football generally fall on deaf ears here on RSFC.
In fact, you may get flamed for such a proposition.
So that the new RSFC subscriber need not spend months coming to terms
with the seemingly limitless number of topics discussed on RSFC, we
have prepared this FAQ. Legitimate answers to legitimate football
questions will not, for the most part, be found in this FAQ. Instead,
consider this FAQ a life preserver to keep you from drowning in the
sea of inside jokes and offbeat threads that permeate RSFC. Enjoy!
A. Posting Etiquette
RSFC has a unique culture, especially in the off-season, so it is
recommended that you read this newsgroup for a while before posting.
Here are a few helpful hints for you once you decide to take the
plunge and post to RSFC.
1. Try to remove all unnecessary quoted material (including headers)
when replying to a post. Re-posting a 100 line article with one
new line of text will almost certainly warrant an "Aggie of the
Week Award" (see section II.2.A below). This is not a flattering
accomplishment, even if you're an Aggie.
Also, if you remove an author's entire text in a reply, then
remove his or her name from the top of your post as well.
Failure to comply with this precept inevitably leads to confusion.
2. When replying to a post, especially one containing deeply nested
replies, be sure to make clear who has said what. If you read this
newsgroup for a while, you will discover a number of different
ways that posters accomplish this. Pick your favorite method,
and stick to it!
3. Try to make your posts no more than 72 columns wide. Many readers
of RSFC have 80 column wide terminals, and a 72 column post will
allow for a few replies (usually prefixed by ">" symbols) without
requiring major surgery. There is nothing more annoying than
trying to read a 132 column post wrapped on an 80 column screen;
the result resembles an ancient hieroglyphic cipher.
4. Do not assume that because a post originates from a particular
university that the author necessarily supports that university's
team. This is especially true of graduate students who often
support the teams corresponding to their undergraduate institutions.
5. Try to infer the author's meaning to the best of your ability
before replying to a thread. One of the most common ways to
start a flame war or get someone angry at you is failure to
indicate and/or comprehend humorous intention. Always use
smileys [ :-) ] in appropriate situations where your intent
could be misunderstood. Humor is difficult to convey in written
form without the usual cues of voice, inflection and facial
expression found in face-to-face communication. Jokes are
frequent here, and the ability to recognize humor is essential
for survival in RSFC. If you don't have a decent sense of humor,
you're probably not going to feel comfortable here.
6. Try not to be too arrogant or presumptuous, especially when
you first begin posting to RSFC. This is a common mistake,
and once you cultivate a bad reputation, it takes a lot of work
and wit to live it down. In addition, don't post things that
are obvious and unoriginal unless you are specifically trying
to make a point.
7. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. People often disagree with each other here,
as they do in many other situations. That's great; it makes
for far more interesting conversations. What isn't great,
however, is disrespecting other's opinions. Unless someone
is obviously being unreasonable (which will be very evident by
the ratio of flames they get; however, see also "Fishing" below),
try to at least respect his or her opinion, even if you don't
agree with it. And don't forget that it's easier to get respect
when you show people you really know what you're talking about.
B. How to Deal with Your School Being Slammed.
Once in a while, or even frequently depending on the team
you support, your team will undoubtedly get slammed. It may
be in jest; it may be mean-spirited. Try to infer the author's
intention before automatically firing back insults and hence
starting a flame-war. Slams are usually part of a long-standing
joke or made in jest. Some schools, such as Michigan, Notre Dame,
Stanford, Miami, Florida State and Florida, get slammed more
frequently than most others. The best thing to do is to grin
and bear it, or if you can, make a humorous retort. However,
there are times when a particularly mean insult may require
something more in your opinion. Just remember to use discretion
and never lose your sense of humor. See also "Fishing" below.
C. Fishing
Q: What is net.fishing?
Net.fishing is an old, highly esteemed sport on RSFC, in which
fishermen (usually RSFC regulars) post highly inflammatory or
even incorrect statements (bait) in order to draw a lot of high-
intensity flames. YOU ARE STRONGLY ADVISED TO FOLLOW RSFC FOR
A WHILE BEFORE FLAMING ANYBODY! Net.fishermen are usually very
wiley, have few scruples to speak of, and would just as soon
expose you as a foolish newbie as get up in the morning.
Q: How can I identify bait?
1. Look for statements that are obviously incorrect. People
generally don't read or post to RSFC unless they know *some-
thing* about college football, and most RSFC regulars are pretty
well informed. So if you read that Florida State won the SEC
championship last year or that Nebraska tied Kansas, you can
usually assume that you have stumbled across some bait.
2. Look for stubborn adherence to an argument that has been
exposed as flawed. Anyone who, for example, insists in the
face of contrary statistics that conference games are inherently
more difficult than non-conference games is probably fishing.
3. In some cases a slam against your school or conference may
be serving a second purpose -- to get you to bite that hook!
Many net.veterans use IYB as shorthand for the Rose Bowl, a.k.a.
the Irrelevant Yawner Bowl [tm]. (Anything that is appended with
[tm] is likely to be bait as well.) While many of these veterans
sincerely believe that the Rose Bowl is irrelevant and boring,
they also enjoy getting Big 10 / Pac 10 fans riled up defending
the Granddaddy of Them All.
In summary, bait may take on many forms and can lure even the most
experienced net.users -- even curators of the Hall o' Bait!
Anything which offends your sensibilities stands a decent chance
of being bait, so be careful.
Q: What should I do when I get "caught?"
RSFC appreciates anybody with a good sense of humor, even if he or
she has massive hook wounds in his or her lips. Grin and bear it.
Enjoy a laugh at your own expense. If the bait was good, say so.
We've all been there before.
What you should *not* do is then claim to have been fishing yourself,
as in, "I only defended the Rose Bowl so vehemently because I was
baiting you into attacking it again." This is called "Jonah fishing"
because ultimately you have been eaten by the fish you claim to have
caught. Nothing looks so desperate or ridiculous as this.
D. Running Gags
1. Why Stanford Sucks.
In 1992, Stanford played Texas A&M in the Pigskin Classic.
The summer before the game, an Aggie posted an article with
the subject line "Why Stanford Sucks." The body merely
contained the answer "Why ask why?" A sequence of humorous
replies ensued with some posters replying simply to keep
the thread alive. The thread did eventually die, but it was
resurrected the following summer by this same Aggie, and the
the thread has since taken on a life of its own.
The "Why Stanford Sucks" thread is regularly resurrected
on RSFC, and the practice of artificially keeping a thread
with a particular subject line alive has become part of the
RSFC culture.
2. Wait 'til next year!
The mantra of Michigan fans. In defending their team's
inability to win a national championship in the latter half
of the 20th century, enough Michigan fans were quoted as
saying "Just wait until *next* year!" that someone suggested
that "Wait 'til next year!" should become a permanent addition
to the Michigan fight song. The phrase has stuck ever since.
See also "MEGACH0KERZ!!1!1!" in section IV.E.3 below.
3. Aggies: Frightening and confusing.
Someone posted a message which just said "The 1992 Aggies
Frighten and Confuse Me" and nothing else. The sentiment
has stuck ever since.
4. Them tigguz was easy.
In reference to a passage in the 1923 Texas A&M Annual.
The passage, entitled "The Tigers Were Easy," describes
a 46-0 thrashing of LSU at the hands of Texas A&M.
Now used chiefly in reference to LSU's recent futility
on the gridiron.
5. What is an Ibis?
In reference to the creature that Miami has for a mascot.
See also "Ibis" below.
6. Pot. Kettle. Black.
This phrase, which is a variation of the old cliche, was
originally coined by an RSFC poster and has been quoted
extensively in various forms on both RSFC and
rec.sport.basketball.college. The phrase, in fact,
has it's own newsgroup.
E. An RSFC Dictionary of Terms
ACC: The Atlantic Coast Conference, which includes Clemson, Duke,
Florida State, Georgia Tech, Maryland, North Carolina, North
Carolina State, Virginia, and Wake Forest.
Anti-Weauxf, Anti-Woof: To falsely praise one's opponents or
criticize one's own team, especially to appease the weauxf gods
or counteract the effects of weauxfing. Widely believed to have
the same effect as weauxfing. See also "OWT," "weauxf" and
"weauxf gods."
AotW: Aggie of the Week. See also "Aggie of the Week Award"
in section III.2.A below.
AP Poll: A weekly college football poll run by the Associated Press
and sometimes referred to as the "Writers Poll." See section
II.B.2 below for a description. See also "CNN/USA Today Poll"
and "UPI Poll."
Bait: A deliberately inflammatory post intended to produce flames.
See also "Fishing" above.
BEVO: The University of Texas' mascot. Ask any Aggie how this name
came into existence; they'll be happy to oblige.
Big East: A conference whose members differ from basketball to
football; in football, includes Boston College, Miami, Pitt,
Rutgers, Syracuse, Temple, Virginia Tech, and West Virginia.
Big Eight: A conference whose members include Colorado, Iowa State,
Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and
Oklahoma State. See also "Big 12."
Big West: A conference whose members include Arkansas State,
Louisiana Tech, Nevada, New Mexico State, Northern Illinois,
Pacific, San Jose State, Southwest Louisiana, UNLV (the
University of Nevada, Las Vegas), and Utah State.
Big 10++, Big1T1en, Big Televen, BigICan'tCountConference, etc.:
Different terms for the Big Ten Conference, which actually
has eleven members: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan,
Michigan State, Minnesota, Northwestern, Ohio State, Penn State
Purdue, and Wisconsin.
Big 12: The newly-formed conference which combines the old
Big Eight and members of the SWC: Baylor, Colorado, Iowa State,
Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State,
Texas, Texas A&M, and Texas Tech. See also "W&WCB&CC."
BTW: By the way.
CAC: RSFC's creative answer contest. See description in section
II.2.B below.
CFA: College Football Association.
CFPOOL: A weekly college football prediction contest.
See section III.1.B below for a description.
CNN/USA Today Poll: A weekly college football poll run by CNN
and USA Today and often referred to as the "Coaches Poll."
See section II.B.2 below for a description. See also "AP Poll"
and "UPI Poll."
Coaches Poll: See "CNN/USA Today Poll."
FB: Fisherman's Ball, a get-together for members of RSFC. The first
one was held in May 1994 in Tallahassee, Florida. The next is
slated for Atlanta sometime this fall. Also an abbreviation of
"Fishin' Buddy," the net.alias of Cal Harris.
Flame: To excoriate someone or something, or the scathing
missive itself. Flames are generally directed at individuals.
See also "slam."
GIF: Graphics Interchange Format. A scheme for converting a picture
or image into computer data and vice versa. Commonly, a "gif"
refers to the computer data itself, and it may refer to the data
produced by other conversion schemes as well (JPEG, etc.).
Gifs are generally uuencoded when posted to a newsgroup.
Ibis: The University of Miami's mascot. Legend says it is the
last bird to leave before a hurricane and the first to return
afterward. Often the subject of running gags and bait.
IMHO: In my humble opinion.
IMO: In my opinion.
IYB: Irrelevant Yawner Bowl [tm], a.k.a. the Rose Bowl.
Killfile: Generic term which refers to a file used by some
newsreaders for filtering out posts.
MAC: The Mid-American Conference, which includes Akron, Ball State,
Bowling Green, Central Michigan, Eastern Michigan, Kent,
Miami of Ohio, Ohio University, Toledo, and Western Michigan.
MNC: Mythical National Champion(ship). In reference to the fact
that there is no officially sanctioned NCAA championship for
Division 1-A college football.
NC: National Champion(ship). See also "MNC."
NCAA: The National Collegiate Athletic Association.
Newbie: A new poster on RSFC, especially one who makes this fact
painfully clear.
OTOH: On the other hand.
OWT: Oliver's weauxfing theorem. The principle which states that
excessive weauxfing by a team's fans inevitably leads to that
team's downfall. See also "weauxf," "anti-weauxf," and
"weauxf gods."
Pac-10: The Pacific Ten Conference, whose members include Arizona,
Arizona State, California (Cal; the University of California,
Berkeley), Oregon, Oregon State, Stanford, UCLA (the University
of California, Los Angeles), U$C (Southern Cal; the University of
Southern California), Washington, and Washington State.
Pansy: In the context of RSFC, a qualifier often used to negatively
describe schedule opponents.
Pescadero: [Spanish] A fisherman. See also "Fishing" above.
ROTFL: Rolling on the floor laughing.
RSFC: Rec.sport.football.college.
RSFCF: Rec.sport.football.college.florida, a.k.a. RSFC.
In reference to the inordinate number of fans and posters
on RSFC supporting teams from the state of Florida.
SEC: The Southeastern Conference, whose members include Alabama,
Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, LSU (Louisiana
State University), Mississippi (Ole Miss), Mississippi State,
South Carolina, Tennessee, and Vanderbilt.
Sig: The "signature" a poster appends to his or her posts.
Often elaborate and contained in a special "signature file."
Slam: To excoriate some organization or group, or the scathing
missive itself. Slams are generally directed at universities,
teams, groups of fans, conferences, etc. See also "flame."
SWC: The Southwest Conference, whose members include Baylor,
Houston, Rice, SMU (Southern Methodist University), Texas,
Texas A&M, Texas Christian, Texas Tech.
Thread: A sequence of posts in reply to one another.
tOSU: *The* Ohio State University.
UPI Poll: A weekly college football poll formerly run by
United Press International and now run by CNN and USA Today.
See "CNN/USA Today Poll."
USC: The University of South Carolina. Not to be confused with...
U$C: The University of Southern California.
WAC: The Western Athletic Conference, whose members include
Air Force, BYU, Colorado State, Fresno State, New Mexico,
New Mexico State, Nevada, San Diego State, Utah, and Wyoming.
Weauxf, woof: To boast about one's team, or such a boast. See
also "OWT," "weauxf gods" and "anti-weauxf."
Weauxf gods, woof gods: The mythical beings who maintain the balance
of sport by punishing those who boast too much about their teams.
See also "OWT," "weauxf" and "anti-weauxf."
Writers Poll: See "AP Poll."
W&WCB&CC: The Waylon & Willie Cold Beer & Chili Conference. RSFC's
official designation for the new Big 8 + SWC conference. See also
"Big 12."
Brian Saunders
(Javed Aslam) wrote:
> Q: How can I identify bait?
> 1. Look for statements that are obviously incorrect. People
> generally don't read or post to RSFC unless they know *some-
> thing* about college football, and most RSFC regulars are pretty
> well informed.
Exactly how does this explain Goober? Well, I guess you did say
"generally", so that covers it.
--
Brian Saunders saun...@castor.che.wisc.edu
Chris Bellomy
: In article <JAA.94Au...@fermat.harvard.edu>, j...@fermat.harvard.edu
: (Javed Aslam) wrote:
: > Q: How can I identify bait?
: > 1. Look for statements that are obviously incorrect. People
^^^^^^
: > generally don't read or post to RSFC unless they know *some-
: > thing* about college football, and most RSFC regulars are pretty
: > well informed.
: Exactly how does this explain Goober? Well, I guess you did say
: "generally", so that covers it.
The NUG refers to "people." El Goob doesn't fall into that category.
--
Chris Bellomy Official Bait Taster
cbel...@dale.hsc.unt.edu rec.sport.football.college
"I don't want to achieve immortality by making the Hall of Fame.
I want to achieve immortality by not dying." -- Casey Stengel
Andy Pittman
times but I'm sure everyone knew I was a newbie. { Please no flames.} I'm
looking forward to posting again, but right now I enjoy reading everyone else's!
Again thank you Javed.
GO COCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAT THEM DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!! SEPT. 3rd.
Down here in Carolina country, we don't have WOOF GODS! We have a freaking
chicken curse! I guess the WOOF GODS put it on us. But I think any school that
has a chicken for a mascot, should have a curse. Except we have an ASS-kicking
chicken for a mascot! And I curse those dawgs!
AT&T GLOBAL INFORMATION SOLUTIONS
Andy Pittman
SLM, stockroom 4,GO COCKS, GO SKINS, AND GO CELTICS!!!
Columbia, S.C. ext: 939-6905
Javed Aslam
>Thank you for that detailed guideline to being up with RSFC. I've posted a few
>times but I'm sure everyone knew I was a newbie. { Please no flames.} I'm
>looking forward to posting again, but right now I enjoy reading everyone
>else's!
>Again thank you Javed.
No problem. Credit is also due to Tony D and Chris Bellomy, who each wrote
significant portions of the New User's Guide, and to John Midtgard for
running the FAQ project.
>GO COCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAT THEM DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!! SEPT. 3rd.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[deletia]
>And I curse those dawgs!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You're not related to John Mi{d|t|dt}gar{d|t|dt}, are you? :)
Jay Aslam
ND '87
Govnr
4> writes:
It could be worse, Andy, your school could have a condom as a mascot.
Alan Harder
> Weauxf gods, woof gods: The mythical beings who maintain the
> balance of sport by punishing those who boast too much about their
> teams. See also "OWT," "weauxf" and "anti-weauxf."
What do you mean "mythical" ??????????
-Alan Harder
a...@math.ams.org
Go Blue!
The above commentary, which does not *even* represent the opinion of
the American Mathematical Society, is sold by weight, not by volume.
Some settling of the contents may have occurred during shipping.
Javed Aslam
>j...@fermat.harvard.edu (Javed Aslam) writes:
>[RSFC New User's Guide]
>> Weauxf gods, woof gods: The mythical beings who maintain the
>> balance of sport by punishing those who boast too much about their
>> teams. See also "OWT," "weauxf" and "anti-weauxf."
>What do you mean "mythical" ??????????
Just ask J. J. Clyde. :)
Jay Aslam
ND '87
Javed Aslam
Actually, Alan, I might have to re-think my position here. After reading
the incessant woofing of Jon Mullins, Will V. Reen, et al. and now learning
about the demise of your starting running back, quarter back and wide receiver,
I have a newfound respect for the almighty weauxf gods.
Jay Aslam
ND '87
jam...@elroy.uh.edu
JJ's mistake is he does just fine until right before the game, whereupon
he loses it and predicts dire consequences for certain foes, whereupon the
WG punish him for it.
Jammer Jim Miller
--
Texas A&M University '89 & '91 | You don't have to be a Marine to be Semper Fi.
"Beauty...survives." | Perception is 9/10ths of reality
EMAIL TO: hmis...@admin.uh.edu
Will V. Reen
>>>What do you mean "mythical" ??????????
>>Just ask J. J. Clyde. :)
>Actually, Alan, I might have to re-think my position here. After reading
>the incessant woofing of Jon Mullins, Will V. Reen, et al. and now learning
>about the demise of your starting running back, quarter back and wide receiver,
>I have a newfound respect for the almighty weauxf gods.
>Jay Aslam
>ND '87
Hey Jay, though I don't agree with ND fans too much (because I so despise the
university), I must say that I agree with you 100 percent. I now offer and
have been offering my repentence to the weauxf gods since my Thunder/Lightning
post, but upon hearing about UM possibly losing starting WR/Captain Walter
Smith for the year due to a knee injury, I think my pleas are falling upon
deaf ears!!!
Oh mighty Bob Ufer--great weauxffer of the heavens--PLEEEAAASSSEEE use your
influence to calm the almighty weauxf gods (at least until September 11th)!!!
Will V. Reen--hailing to all the victors of the heavens for forgiveness
Go Blue!!!
Javed Aslam
forthcoming RSFC FAQ. The New User's Guide will be posted weekly until
the entire FAQ is complete. Note that this guide is *not* the entire FAQ,
and as such it references portions of the FAQ which are not contained below.
Please direct all questions and comments to either Tony D (an...@ufcc.ufl.edu)
or myself (j...@das.harvard.edu).
Jay Aslam
ND '87
**********
Modification history:
v1.4 -- Added U-Dub and DORKS to the Dictionary of Terms.
8/31/94
Corrected UPI Poll entry.
Other minor corrections.
**********
Q: How can I identify bait?
1. Look for statements that are obviously incorrect. People
generally don't read or post to RSFC unless they know *some-
thing* about college football, and most RSFC regulars are pretty
D. Running Gags
1. Why Stanford Sucks.
BTW: By the way.
CFA: College Football Association.
DORKS: Dear Old Rutgers Knights in Scarlet.
IMO: In my opinion.
U-Dub: The University of Washington. From "UW," pronounced
"U Double-U," and shortened to simply "U-Dub."
UPI Poll: Commonly used in reference to the weekly college football
poll formerly run by United Press International and now run by
CNN and USA Today. See "CNN/USA Today Poll."
USC: The University of South Carolina. Not to be confused with...
U$C: The University of Southern California.
WAC: The Western Athletic Conference, whose members include
Air Force, BYU, Colorado State, Fresno State, New Mexico,
New Mexico State, Nevada, San Diego State, Utah, and Wyoming.
Weauxf, woof: To boast about one's team, or such a boast. See
also "OWT," "weauxf gods" and "anti-weauxf."
Weauxf gods, woof gods: The mythical beings who maintain the balance
of sport by punishing those who boast too much about their teams.
See also "OWT," "weauxf" and "anti-weauxf."
Writers Poll: See "AP Poll."
Alan Harder
In article <JAA.94Au...@fermat.harvard.edu> j...@fermat.harvard.edu (Javed Aslam) writes:
> Actually, Alan, I might have to re-think my position here. After
> reading the incessant woofing of Jon Mullins, Will V. Reen, et
> al. and now learning about the demise of your starting running
> back, quarter back and wide receiver, I have a newfound respect for
> the almighty weauxf gods.
The rumours of the demise of Michigan's starting quarterback have been
greatly exaggerated. In other words, have you heard something that I
haven't? As far as I know, Todd Collins is in perfect health.
Javed Aslam
>j...@fermat.harvard.edu (Javed Aslam) writes:
>> Actually, Alan, I might have to re-think my position here. After
>> reading the incessant woofing of Jon Mullins, Will V. Reen, et
>> al. and now learning about the demise of your starting running
>> back, quarter back and wide receiver, I have a newfound respect for
>> the almighty weauxf gods.
>The rumours of the demise of Michigan's starting quarterback have been
>greatly exaggerated. In other words, have you heard something that I
>haven't? As far as I know, Todd Collins is in perfect health.
My mistake. I believe it's a pro QB of similar name that is injured.
Jay Aslam
ND '87
Frank Grochocki
: >>>>> " " == Javed Aslam <j...@fermat.harvard.edu> writes:
: In article <JAA.94Au...@fermat.harvard.edu> j...@fermat.harvard.edu (Javed Aslam) writes:
: > Weauxf gods, woof gods: The mythical beings who maintain the
: > balance of sport by punishing those who boast too much about their
: > teams. See also "OWT," "weauxf" and "anti-weauxf."
: What do you mean "mythical" ??????????
: -Alan Harder
: a...@math.ams.org
: Go Blue!
It's too bad the above has to default to superstition just to
have their team perform.