Tanti at de Oval (poem)
Ron Knight
can still be out L.B.W. off the front foot, Steve!), and to
recompense him for the disappointment he received from Hurricane
Felix, I offer this poem, the West Indian equivalent of "Casey at
the Bat".
The poem refers to the famous "tie" match of the 1975 Shell Series
between Trinidad and the Combined Islands. (It was officially a
draw because all the wickets hadn't fallen.)
Copyright note: If the authors or his legal advisors discover
this posting, I hope that they will forgive this copyright
transgression and get in touch with me in a non-belligerent style.
I wrote to the copyright holder at the address listed in the book,
and also attempted to phone, all without success in locating them.
If anyone else knows how I might get in touch with them, please
let me know; I would like very much to post a few more poems by
Paul Keens-Douglas on soc.culture.caribbean.
I am posting this poem both to s.c.c. and rec.sport.cricket, and
realize that those on r.s.c. who are unacquainted with the way
English is spoken in Trinidad may find this rough going. I
guarantee that it is worth the trouble. Try reading it aloud, or
having a West Indian read it to you. I can be consulted by email
about any doubtful words or phrases, with one exception: I have no
idea what 'vup' means and would like to hear from somebody about
that. Here are five explanations to start you off:
"eh" often = "ain't", and if you don't spot this you will be
confused by missing the negative.
Dominica Mountain chicken = frog (known as "crapaud" in Dominica).
"de Doctor" referred to at the end of the poem is Dr. Eric
Williams, the Prime Minister of Trinidad at that time.
"Who tell he say dat" is my favorite Trini expression, meaning
"what a stupid thing to say" or "he didn't need to say that".
"mad" doesn't mean "angry"; it means "insane".
TANTI AT DE OVAL
by
Paul Keens-Douglas
Copyright (c) 1976 by P.K.D.
Yes, ah come back.
Ah bring back Tanti Merle too.
Look, woman, don't ask me no foolish question, yu hear?
Where yu see ah sit down here, is trouble yu lookin' for.
Yes, ah know Trinidad lose.
Yes, ah know Combined Islands beat we,
Yu should ask Tanti Merle 'bout dat, she should know.
Why I Vex? Who tell yu ah vex? Yu find ah look vex?
Yu didn't study dat
When yu make me take Tanti Merle to de Oval?
Ah know we been through all dis already,
But never me again, never, never, never
Ah not takin' no relative with me to de Oval, not me,
Next time is me one alone an God goin' in de Oval.
Ah mean to say, yu had de whole year
To send Tanti Merle to de Oval,
But why today, eh? Today of all days,
Trinidad versus de Islands, ah big match like dat,
An' you want me to take Tanti Merle to see cricket match.
Ah know is she birthday,
Ah know she from St. Vincent,
Ah know she always talkin' bout de Islands,
But Tanti Merle livin' in Curepe fifteen years
An' she never put foot in de Oval,
So why today, eh? why today? tell me dat.
Yu have Transistor,
Yu have Radio,
Yu have Television,
Right here in dis god-bless house,
Tanti Merle could ah well come here an' enjoy de match,
Instead of dat, yu take de woman, an' sen' she
Quite in Port of Spain to see cricket
An' nearly kill me dead, dead, dead
Dis April month of de Lord, 1975
An' Tanti Merle is sixty-five years old.
Woman, yu don't know what confusion yu put me in, eh?
Woman, yu don't know how yu nearly lose ah husband, eh?
Yu see dat woman yu callin' Tanti Merle?
Well, let me tell yu 'bout she .........
First of all, we leave late.
Ah tell Tanti Merle to get ready for ten o'clock,
Match startin' eleven,
We had ah good hour to reach de Oval,
But Tanti Merle wouldn't leave de house,
She only tittivaying, packin' basket with ah set ah food,
Sayin' how nobody eh go' starve she in Port of Spain.
An' yu know who end up carryin' de basket.....me!
Ah man like me who does go in de Oval
With me money in me side-pocket,
Ah petit-quart in me back pocket,
An' me two hand swingin' free.
But see me now, lookin' like some kind ah market vendor,
People only askin' me 'what yu sellin'?
An' of course Tanti Merle had to take she parasol too.
Ah tell she de stands have roof, but not she,
She eh takin' me on at all,
Talkin' ah whole lot ah stupidness 'bout sun-stroke,
An' on top of dat is ah pink parasol she bring.
Imagine me in de Oval with ah pink parasol.
People must ah tought it was Carnival.
Any way, ah take de basket.
De nex' set ah horrors was de taxi.
You self know how taxi hard to get in Curepe,
Every time ah stop one, Tanti say she not goin' in,
Either de driver look too funny,
Or de passengers look too low-class,
Or de car look like it go fall down.
So ah tell she "choose yu own taxi".
She say she want ah red taxi.
Now tell me why your Tanti Merle must drive
In ah red taxi
Yu see dat woman is like she wukkin' Obeah yu know
Is like yu tanti is ah real bad obeah woman.
Tank god ah taxi come dat lookin' kind ah red,
Because she decide to take it.
An' yu know how she do dat?
De woman just step off de pavement
Right in front de taxi, an' say 'hold dat!'
Well yu could imagine brakes,
Ah never hear ah taxi-man cuss so yet.
But Tanti Merle eh take he on,
She just freeze him with one bad eye
Haul open de back door,
An' take over de whole backseat
As if she is de Queen of Sheba.
An' me self with dis big basket, smellin' like ah snackette.
Nex' ting de taxi-man switch on music, reggae.
Tanti Merle tell him take it off,
She say she want to hear cricket.
Well dat was de only good ting she say,
From de time we leave Curepe
To de time we reach in de oval.
De Taxi-man put on de cricket,
An' from dere on Tanti Merle take-over.
Nobody mus' talk, Islands batting,
Tings in de Oval goin' good an' Tanti Merle grinnin',
Hear she, "dats me boys an' dem, dey go bus' allyu tail".
De taxi-man make de mistake an' ask she
Where she come from.
Well is who tell he say dat,
We get de whole history of St. Vincent,
How it name Hiroona an' one set ah ting.
All dis time I vex, match start an' ah missin' play,
An' on top of dat Tanti Merle carryin' on 'bout St. Vincent.
Ah eh know how de Taxi-man eh turn over de taxi
De way he begin to drive fast,
Ah never see ah man drive fast so yet,
Fus he want to get Tanti Merle out de taxi hurry.
He take we straight to de Oval, non-stop.
Den Tanti Merle start to argue 'bout taxi fare.
Ah don't know when was de last time your Tanti Merle
Drive in taxi, but she start to talk 'bout fifteen cents.
Well ah sure dat taxi-man must be tink she mad,
Is me wha' had to put peace again,
Ah jus hand he five dollars
An' tell him tank you.
Yu tink wha' ah just tell yu bad?
Wait till yu hear wha' happen in de Oval.
Dat Oval was someting else, is den story start.
Tanti Merle try to go through de people gate
With she parasol open,
Because she say she 'fraid she catch 'sun stroke'.
Well you self know how de gateman an' dem in de Oval stop,
Some ah dem does jus' watch yu hand with de money,
Dey doesn't even watch yu face
Fus dey couldn't care less, 'bout you,
Is just de hand de money an' de ticket,
De hand de money an' de ticket,
De hand de money an' de ticket,
Well dey had to watch Tanti Merle,
She nearly jook out dey eye with she parasol.
All dis time I apologisin',
An' yu know what one ah dem turn 'round an' tell me?
Why ah eh leave me wife home if she fraid sun.
He eh say aunt, he eh say granny, he eh say cousin,
He say wife. Yu know how ah feel? Yu laughin'!
Is because ah make de sign of de cross
When we reach inside de stand an' get we seat.
An' guess who is de first man ah see?
Boysie an ah whole side feteing up with one set ah rum,
An' me with Tanti Merle.
An' when dey see me, yu could imagine de scene.
"How de madam?"
"Ae, ae boy, where yu get dat one"
"Make sure she have ah will."
"How yu selfish so, yu can't introduce de boys?"
"Where yu get dat nice woman boy."
"Dat is de one yu always tellin' us 'bout?"
An' dey start to carry on.
Is tank god de cricket so hot
Dey eh have time to take me on for long.
Islands battin' an' Trinidad bowlin',
Islands have runs to make,
Trinidad have wickets to take,
Time runnin' out an' is excitement in de Oval,
If Islands win dey get de shield
Tension in de place like steel.
I settle down to watch de game,
An' is den Tanti Merle start up.
She tell ah fella in front she to take off he hat,
She say it barrin' she.
Well he start to cuss she, an she start to cuss he
An' I tryin' to put peace, but ah frighten,
Because is a real 'Bad-John' Tanti interfere with.
Tank god jus' den Richards get out stupid,
Cause dey say he not in he crease
An' de ball fall out de bowler hand an' hit de wicket
An' so he stump out stupid, stupid so.
Well Tanti Merle forget de 'Bad-John' an' start with de umpire,
She say how he blind like a bat,
She say is how he have lumbago,
She say is how is teaf he teafin' for Trinidad,
She say how he lucky she eh out dey
Because is wha' she would do an' wha' she wouldn't do to he,
An' she start to carry on.
But she quiet down when Allen start to blade ball
An' de score start to move
An' every run dat make de crowd makin' noise,
Tanti like dat.
Next ting braps Shillingford gone,
Braps Eddy gone, braps Corriette gone,
Imtiaz an' Jumadeen spinnin' ball like joke,
An' wicket fallin' like smoke.
An' every wicket dat fall de crowd makin' noise,
Tanti eh like dat, she get vex,
She say how de crowd too hypocrite,
One minute dey cheerin' de Islands,
De next minute dey cheerin' Trinidad,
Den she turn round an say how Imtiaz stonin'.
Well ah fella tell she how spinner cant stone
An' ask she where she come out.
Well who tell he say dat.
We get de whole history of St. Vincent again,
Only dis time she stan' up on de people seat to explaciate.
Ah had to beg she quick, quick, come down Tanti
Open de basket, let we eat.
Dat was de fus time ah glad we bring dat basket.
She open up de ting, an' was like Chrismus, if yu see food.
Den Tanti start to share out, was like ah picnic, everybody get,
She even give de 'Bad-John' piece.
Nex' ting ah know Allen out at ninety-six tryin' to vup
An' everybody forget food, tension high in de Oval.
Finlay an' Roberts battin', thirteen runs needed.
Then Tanti decide she want to change she seat,
She say de pole barrin' she.
So I behind, Tanti down front.
Roberts attempt ah six an' he out, the crowd roar,
Den Tanti start to shake she fist at Gomes for makin' de catch.
She say de way Gomes jump is like he eat Dominica Mountain chicken.
Ah man tell she move, an' was go' drop ah lash on she,
But jus den Willet out an' town in ah mess.
Islands need seven runs, with nine balls to bowl
An' one wicket to fall.
Dis time I forget 'bout Tanti Merle,
Excitement in de Oval like yu never see in yu life,
Gore come in to bat an' is den de action start.
Nine balls seven runs to go.....noise in de place.
Eight balls six runs to go.....Tanti start wavin' de basket.
Seven balls six runs to go.....Tanti on top de seat.
Six balls five runs to go...Tanti fall off de seat.
Five balls five runs to go.....Tanti wavin' de parasol.
Four balls four runs to go.....police cautionin' Tanti.
Three balls three runs to go.....ah can't even see Tanti.
Two balls three runs to go...Tanti climbin' over de fence.
One ball three runs to go.....Tanti on de people field.
Gore hit de ball, an' he an' Finlay pelt down de wicket for two run,
An' is den de bachanal start, score tie at 283
An' everybody say Islands win.
Nex' ting ah see
Is Tanti parasol high up in de air,
An' she in de middle of one set ah people,
An' dey on de people pitch singin', an' dancin', an' carryin' on.
Ah whole heap of small Island people, an Tanti in de middle,
An' Tanti parasol only goin' up an' down, up an' down, up an' down.
Nex' ting loudspeaker say match eh tie, it draw
So Islands eh win de sheld is Guyana.
Well who tell dem say dat, Tanti nearly cause ah riot.
She start to carry on.
She say dey teaf,
She say dey eh like de Islands,
She say change de rules,
She say tie and draw, same ting,
She say she forming delegation to see de Doctor,
She say she declare war,
An' she have one big, big crowd round she,
An' she on top one ah dem ting dey does roll de pitch with.
Dat same Tanti Merle dat look as if butter can't melt in she mout.
It take me 'bout two hours to get she out de Oval,
She lose de basket an' de parasol mash up,
But she eh study dat, is noise de whole way home.
An' yu know what dat woman have de heart to ask me when we reach de gap? ...
When nex' we goin' back in de Oval.
Take it easy,
--
Ron Knight (r...@med.unc.edu)
The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
I can't speak for UNC-CH, and UNC-CH can't speak for me.
It's better for both of us.