Pool Related Jokes and Sayings.

[Play4abuck]

Any one here know any jokes, sayings, or words of wisdom that are
POOL/Billiards Related?

I'm thinking about making up a few T-shirts using those iron thingys that
you can print on using your own printer.

I only know one:

George Burns was asked on his 90th birthday, What is sex like at your
age...... he replied.......... it's like shooting pool with a rope!

[Burntnjall]

Play4...@yahoo.com wrote:
>Any one here know any jokes, sayings, or words of wisdom that are
>POOL/Billiards Related?
>
>I'm thinking about making up a few T-shirts using those iron thingys that
>you can print on using your own printer.

Jimboct actually got off a good one this week,
"I would never buy a 'plain-jane' cue, it would be pointless."

regards,
Njall.

[Roger Ballenger]

"Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a pool player."
"Son, you can't have it both ways."

Roger Ballenger

[sam]

Roger, Good one. I'd rather be a pool player than grow up. Sincerely, Sam
(A 51 year old kid)

Roger Ballenger wrote in message <7bl4hu$350$1...@remarQ.com>...

[Emily Goodin]

Roger I'm 23 and have no plans of growing up. With a little help and
dedication maybe I could be the other.

[srninness]

You nearly rendered my wife helpless with that one.......LOL

[Roger Ballenger]

Glad you enjoyed it. The strange thing is, around here in the Ozarks, when I
tell this to pool players, they don't get it. Hmm...

Roger Ballenger

[Aaron Berg]

They used to say around here "If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the
porch"

AB(MN)

[Joey]

One I like more and more every day is one by Scotty Townsend. I guess
because it is so true.

In a tournament I played Scotty as hard as I could. I relaxed as much as I
could and that wasn't much. The pressure of playing him was phenomenal as
he plays nine ball top speed.

After the tournament Scotty brought me over to the side and said "Comehere
MAN, let me tell you something, YOU GOT TO TAKE THE DOG OFF THE CHAIN, YOU
GOT TO LET HIM RUN FREE". If you know Scotty's personality and accent, it
is funny.
Joey

[emer...@execpc.com]

Heard one from Mark Wilson years ago. After a match, when one player gets all
the breaks to go their way. "You mowed the grass, I picked the flowers."

I also have seen pool players with T-shirts that say:
"One out of the money"

In article <7d63jv$4ah$1...@nntp.gulfsouth.verio.net>,

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

[pool...@usaor.net]

In article <7biehm$c...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>,

"Play4abuck" <Play4...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Any one here know any jokes, sayings, or words of wisdom that are
> POOL/Billiards Related?
>
> I'm thinking about making up a few T-shirts using those iron thingys that
> you can print on using your own printer.
>

> I only know one:
>
> George Burns was asked on his 90th birthday, What is sex like at your
> age...... he replied.......... it's like shooting pool with a rope!
>
>

Here is one which was recently submitted to our "Range Rumors & Rail Jokes"
column by a woman named Missy Weber:

Q: "How many pool players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
A: "10... 1 to screw it in and 9 to say 'phhttt, I could do that!' "

-Marla Druzgal, The Pool Pages Magazine <----- http://www.poolpages.com
Thanks for taking the time to read my post.

[Joey]

I vote Missy Weber, WOMAN OF THE YEAR.
Joey

[Rich]

Here's a particularly dumb joke:
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would
kill you?

A pool table.

Rich
-----------------------------------------
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

[Phillip T. Murphy]

You are correct.

Rich wrote in message ...

[Joe Santos]

In article <7d91uo$pv5$1...@news.campuscwix.net>,

Here is my particular favorite how it came to light.

Bob Ogburn (sp) was at Bakers Billiards one night with Joe Lawerence and a player I will only
identify as MH. MH had about $100 on him and was challenging Bob to some payball. Bob knew
that MH only had a couple of barrels on him, so Bob said if he wanted to play he would play for
$50/$100. MH wanted to play $10/20.

After about 20 minutes of haggeling over the bet Bob turned to MH and said, "You're so cheap
that if your last name was Kellog, you wouldn't bet a rice krispie"

[Joey]

That Kellog joke was great Joe! May I use it?
Joey
Joe Santos wrote in message <7d9c6i$j...@dfw-ixnews11.ix.netcom.com>...
>In article <7d91uo$pv5$1...@news.campuscwix.net>,

[Joe Santos]

In article <7davru$i0$1...@nntp.gulfsouth.verio.net>,
"Joey" <agu...@cmq.com> wrote:

Sure, I don't think Mr. Ogburn would mind at all. But as I replayed that night over and over
in my head I mis-quoted. The correct quote was, "You're such a nit that if your last ......."

Enjoy...

[John Collins]

What did the pool player who won the lottery say when asked how his life
would change?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nothing will change, I am just going to keep hustling pool til it愀 all
gone.

John

[Tim Hurson]

Now THAT'S funny!

Tim Hurson

John Collins wrote in message <7dit9t$9op$1...@news01.btx.dtag.de>...

[John (Kent,WA)]

Sort of like what the famous gambler Nick the Greek always said. " The only
thing that comes close to gambling and winning... is gambling and losing".

John Collins wrote in message <7dit9t$9op$1...@news01.btx.dtag.de>...
>
>What did the pool player who won the lottery say when asked how his life
>would change?
>.

[Kevin Sullivan]

In article <36fe9...@news.prostar.com>,
"John (Kent,WA)" <joh...@foxinternet.net> wrote:

In car racing circles, they say the way to make a small fortune in
racing is start with a large fortune...

--

Kevin Sullivan csr...@gol.com Hiratsuka, Kanagawa, Japan
http://www2.gol.com/users/csr-kts/hiratsuka/index.html
Only 93 days till Tanabata arrives

[bp]

On Mon, 22 Mar 1999 21:20:45 GMT, emer...@execpc.com wrote:

>Heard one from Mark Wilson years ago.

ED
What ever happened to Mark ? He was the hot stick in WI. When I lived
there but I haven't seen or heard anything about him in years.

[emer...@execpc.com]

I'm sure others are better qualified to answer this but I'll take a stab.

Last I know he lives in Illinois. Pro at one of the pool rooms. Has been
banging around as a professional player for some time. Not necessarily one of
the top on the PBTA or Camel ranks, but basically still a pro player. I think
he was the commentator for the big Strickland/Reyes challange match.
I understand his son has become a very well-respected player.

Wish I knew more, anyone else like to add?

In article <3708f3cf....@news.mindspring.com>,

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------

[bp]

On Mon, 05 Apr 1999 21:26:49 GMT, emer...@execpc.com wrote:

>I'm sure others are better qualified to answer this but I'll take a stab.
>
>Last I know he lives in Illinois. Pro at one of the pool rooms. Has been
>banging around as a professional player for some time. Not necessarily one of
>the top on the PBTA or Camel ranks, but basically still a pro player. I think
>he was the commentator for the big Strickland/Reyes challange match.
>I understand his son has become a very well-respected player.

His SON ! Yeaks ! when I saw him last he wasn't nuch more than a kid
himself.

[Ed Mercier]

I feel the same way.

[Joey]

I try not to get to personal with fellow RSBers, but you guys sound like OLD
MEN.
:-)
Joey

Ed Mercier wrote in message <7eeds5$4...@newsops.execpc.com>...

[jim...@neosoft.com]

Mark's House pro at Teacher's Billiards in Fairview Heights, Illinois, just a
few miles east of St. Louis.

--JIM BUSS--

[emer...@execpc.com]

Thanks Jim that's nice to know.

In article <7eg8u5$h7n$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

[bp]

On Wed, 7 Apr 1999 09:12:02 -0500, "Joey" <agu...@cmq.com> wrote:

>I try not to get to personal with fellow RSBers, but you guys sound like OLD
>MEN.

You sound like my kids ;-)

[Joey]

I may not be young but at least I sound youthful. ;-)
Joey

bp wrote in message <370cda41...@news.mindspring.com>...

[Tom Simpson]

In article <7el5mh$2p2$1...@nntp.gulfsouth.verio.net>,
agu...@cmq.com says...
::I may not be young but at least I sound youthful. ;-)
::Joey
::

Eh? Speak up, sonny.

[willav...@gmail.com]

On Wednesday, March 3, 1999 3:00:00 AM UTC-5, Roger Ballenger wrote:
> "Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a pool player."
> "Son, you can't have it both ways."
>
> Roger Ballenger

I loved that joke. I'm posting it on my blog at http://www.yesnack.com/wordpress/2014/03/10/lets-shoot-pool/
Where can I link to you website to give you credit?
Thanks:-)

[kinshu...@gmail.com]

When u bend down properly thats when you can explore the hole clearly!!!😉😃😃

[glouise...@gmail.com]

On Wednesday, March 3, 1999 at 12:00:00 AM UTC-8, Play4abuck wrote:
> Any one here know any jokes, sayings, or words of wisdom that are
> POOL/Billiards Related?
>
> I'm thinking about making up a few T-shirts using those iron thingys that
> you can print on using your own printer.
>
> I only know one:
>
> George Burns was asked on his 90th birthday, What is sex like at your
> age...... he replied.......... it's like shooting pool with a rope!

hahahaha

[eightbal...@gmail.com]

Another,"How do you..." question and answer.

Question: How do you become a millionaire playing pool?

Answer: Start with a billion.