All Time Ugly Team?
James Parsons
All right, here's yet another really pointless, but hopefully fun, entry
into the All Time _____ team lists. I've no idea the protocol for this sort
of thing, so here goes:
Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
diamond? This is regardless of their skill on the field or at the plate. I
mean who's face could just plain demolish buildings.
I don't mean this in a bad way, or to insult anyone, but let's face it:
we can't all be Deion "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" Sanders. I just
thought of this topic off the top of my head, so I've only got a couple of
players to start things off with. Please fill in the rest of this team as
best you can.
C Ron Karkovice (Wasn't he an extra in "Deliverance"? Scrappy hitter,
decent catcher, but Man Alive, He's Ugly!)
OF Otis Nixon (Don't know if it's the drugs or teenage acne or if he just
hasn't eaten since the seventies, but his face is stretched and
pockmarked like a political prisoner in Chile. Ugly-mugly!)
I don't know after this. But i hope you get the idea.
james
Christopher Zervic
Parsons) wrote:
> Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
> diamond? I mean who's face could just plain demolish buildings.
Please fill in the rest of this team as
> best you can.
>
> C Ron Karkovice (Wasn't he an extra in "Deliverance"? Scrappy hitter,
> decent catcher, but Man Alive, He's Ugly!)
>
> OF Otis Nixon (Don't know if it's the drugs or teenage acne or if he just
> hasn't eaten since the seventies, but his face is stretched and
> pockmarked like a political prisoner in Chile. Ugly-mugly!)
>
> I don't know after this. But i hope you get the idea.
>
> james
Alright, Jimbo, I'll draft the pitcher.
P Drew Hall- Former Cub Reliever. Could throw 98 MPH fastball-but he had
no
control, and man, was he ugly.
cjg6159
: C Ron Karkovice (Wasn't he an extra in "Deliverance"? Scrappy hitter,
: decent catcher, but Man Alive, He's Ugly!)
: OF Otis Nixon (Don't know if it's the drugs or teenage acne or if he just
: hasn't eaten since the seventies, but his face is stretched and
: pockmarked like a political prisoner in Chile. Ugly-mugly!)
I wouldn't want to meet John Kruk in a dark alley. I kind of would
nominate Ray Knight, not as being ugly, but as being one of the
stupidest-looking ball players ever. (Sorry, Ray) Behind those
eyes...nothing.
How could we forget The Penguin? Good ol' Ron Cey!
Ugly Pitching squad? Have to start with Dennis Martinez or Pascual Perez.
Charles
cjg...@is.nyu.edu
James Greenleaf
page of the program with his picture in it - they won't let their kids
see it because it's so ugly.
Mark Baker
>Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
>diamond? This is regardless of their skill on the field or at the plate. I
>mean who's face could just plain demolish buildings.
DH Cliff Johnson; 'nuf said.
MB
david adams
: All right, here's yet another really pointless, but hopefully fun, entry
: james
OK, so we have:
C: Karkovice, though a sweaty chew-stained Munson or Rich Gedman
are also candidates
1B: Kruk, Cey
2B: ?
SS: ?
3B: Ray Knight is as goofy as any. Schmidt and Staab
LF: Cesar Geronimo,pretty scary character
CF: Otis Nixon, or Lenny (Don't shake his hand unless he wipes it
off first) Dykstra
RF: Buhner, bad hair life!
P: Randy Johnson, Luis Tiant, that side-armer from KC and other teams
who's name excapes me, Zane Smith (I don't even know how a catcher
can look at him for 9 innings), and ?
Fill in the blanks.
--
David E. Adams "Brevis esse laboro
david...@m.cc.utah.edu obscurus fio" -Horace
James Parsons
As a Brave's fan there are a couple of candidates for short stop in that
teams history, though i'm not sure they're the best (or worst?) choices:
Jeff Blauser's chin is certainly distinctive. I happen to think it should
be affixed to some Dick Tracy arch-villain, but others might think that it's
a manly man's chin. You be the judge. Also, though I don't remember
perfectly, it seems that Rafael Ramirez was no looker himself. I could just
be mixing him up with Pascual Perez, who somebody nominated as pitcher.
They were with the team at roughly the same time and had similar greasy
drippy hair.
Mark Lemke has been nominated for second base, but I don't think he's
actually ugly, he just has bad facial hair grooming habits.
James
Tonia Lorenz
Ron Karkovice is so ugly that my co-worker (a die-hard Sox fan, BTW) has
named him Ron Kaka-face.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonia in Chicago E-mail: tlo...@interaccess.com
"There is no excuse for futility to this degree in major league baseball."
-- Cubs fan George Will on his team (mine, too)
Alex A Goddard
freckled, buck-toothed version of Yoda. As for the pitching staff,
you've got to include Jack "Clearasil wasn't available when I was a
teenager" Morris and Fernando "Tortilla Fats" Valenzeula.
Alex
Sandy Fraser [29695]
One of the ugliest pitchers I've ever seen is Randy Johnson (sorry
if you're reading this, Randy) :^}
C Ron Karkovice (agreed!)
OF Otis Nixon
DH Cliff Johnson
P Dennis Martinez (although he pales in comparison to Randy)
Randy Johnson
3B Frank Malzone (oh those *legs*!)
Greg Smejkal
>
>All right, here's yet another really pointless, but hopefully fun, entry
>into the All Time _____ team lists. I've no idea the protocol for this sort
>of thing, so here goes:
>
>Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
>diamond? This is regardless of their skill on the field or at the plate. I
[stuff deleted]
Willie McGee has to be the ugliest outfielder and Zane Smith could be the
starting pitcher for the All-Mole team.
Alvaro Espinoza with his new specs could be included in the All-Harry Kary
look alike team. Alex Cole's glasses aren't much better, although, I don't
think he qualifies for the All-Harry Kary look alike team.
---------------
Greg Smejkal
greg%a...@netcom.com
jim o'connell
Marc Foster
Everyone seems to have real short memories... to quote Bill James:
"Don Mossi was the complete ugly player. He could run ugly, hit ugly,
throw ugly, field ugly, and ugly for power. He was ugly to all fields.
He could ugly behind the runner as well asanybody, which made him a great
ugly-and-run man. And you talk about pressure... man, you never saw a
player who was uglier in the clutch." - Historical Baseball Abstract, Pg 217.
I still have one of his baseball cards somewhere, despite my mother wanting
to burn it because he was indeed very, very ugly.
Marc
Sue Rankin
two words......Gary Ward. ugh!!
Sue
Scott vonFischer
>: Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
>: diamond?
Here's an idea; pull out your old copy of Jim Bouton's "Ball Four". The old
Seattle Pilots went through this same exercise, and since the book was written
25 years ago their detailed list features players mostly from the 1950's and
60's.
The only one I remember is Andy Etchebarren, the catcher from the Orioles
throughout the 1960's and 70's. If I remember correctly he had ears that
would make Dumbo jealous...
Scott vonFischer
HILL Arts and Entertainment Systems, Inc.
Phil Miller
>>Who's the ugliest human being ever to play each position on the baseball
>>diamond? This is regardless of their skill on the field or at the plate. I
win no beauty pageants..
Ron Washington
Chris Sabo certainly wins the "Spuds MacKenzie Award" with his specs.
Mill