Beer Quotes

2 views
Skip to first unread message

James

unread,
Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
I liked #12....enjoy ;)

BEER WORDS OF WISDOM

1)You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

2)Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway

3)Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

4)He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato

5)Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

6)A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
--W.C. Fields

7)Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in
the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

8)If God had not intended us to drink beer, He would not have given us
stomachs.
--David Daye

9)Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde

10)When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

11)Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

12)If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

13)Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

14)The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

15)Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton (No more warm beer for Teddy)

16)People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

17)Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm (Give Slob Boy a woman that loves Beer and he still
won't get lucky)

18)I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson

19)Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry

20)I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan

21)They who drink beer will think beer.
--Washington Irving

22)An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
fools.
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

23)You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

24)All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's
just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

25)I swear, I will never drink again....
--Half the population of the planet earth as they cling to the spinning
bed or the porcelain god...

26)Bartender.. I'll take another....
--Same people next friday

skyjunky

unread,
Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
this was da best

skyjunky

unread,
Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
#10, that is

Cas S. Zielewski

unread,
Dec 24, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/24/98
to
#27) Skydiving is just something we do until the beer comes out.
-- Bobby J. Potter NCB #85


In article <367FE46E...@bellsouth.net>,

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages