MACKY IS SMART
Onion Cider
MACKY AND THE HELP DESK
John Macky called in a trouble report to his
company's Help Desk when his computer wouldn't
turn on. The troubleshooter found that Macky
had plugged his power strip back into itself
and didn't understand why there was no power.
MACKY AND THE FAX MACHINE
Macky: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
Secretary: "A little. What's wrong?"
Macky: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called
back to say all he received was a cover-sheet
and a blank page. I tried it again, and the
same thing happened."
Secretary: "How did you load the sheet?"
Macky: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded
it so only the recipient would open it and read it."
MACKY AND A DEAD BATTERY
John Macky was found weeping and crying his heart out
beside his car. "Do you need some help?", a passerby
asked. Macky replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
The passerby replied, "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm, too?"
"No, just this remote thingy," Macky answered, handing it
and the car keys to the passerby, who took the key and
manually unlocked the door, and replied, "Why don't you
just drive over there and check on the batteries...it's
a long walk."
MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART II
Help Desk: What does the screen say now?
Macky: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.
Help Desk: Well?
Macky: How do I know when it's ready?
MACKY WORKS AT AN INSURANCE COMPANY
George Jones called his car insurance company to tell them
to change his address from Texas to Vermont. John Macky,
who took the call asked where Vermont was. As George tried
to explain, Macky interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid
or anything, just tell me what state it's in?"
MACKY THE TYPIST
Several years ago John Macky was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier paper," she told him.
With that, Macky took his last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the copier and made five blank copies.
MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART III
One day one John Macky called the computer help desk
and asked if anything "bad" would happen if he dropped
coins into the openings of his PC. The Help Desk asked
if this was something he was thinking of doing. Macky
snorted, "never mind" and hung up. Suspicious, the Help
Desk tech got out his trusty tool kit and paid Macky a
visit. Opening Macky's CPU case, sure enough, there
was 40 cents.
MACKY GETS SYSADMIN JOB
John Macky once got a job as a System Admininstrator and
one of HIS servers crashed. He inserted a CD and needed
to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started
to type it and paused, and asked a nearby secretary, "Where
on the keyboard is that line thing?" The secretary asked
what the hell he was talking about, and Macky mumbled,
"You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
exclamation mark." The secretary replied, "You mean the
letter 'i'?" Macky replied, "Yeah, that's it!"
MACKY AT HOME
John Macky had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator,
making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was
attached. He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was
unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first.
His landlord, investigating weird noises, found Macky
thrashing and rolling back and forth on the kitchen floor.
MACKY'S MOTOR HOME
John Macky's large motorhome was towed into the garage.
The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
The service manager asked what had happened. Macky replied
that he had set the cruise control, then went in back to
make a sandwich.
MACKY ONCE WAS A SECRETARY
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. John Macky
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
MACKY AT HOME - PART II
Curious, John Macky called Blockbuster and mentioned that
before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying,
"This movie has been altered to fit your television screen."
Macky then added: "How do they know what size screen I have?
MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART IV
Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, the coffee cup holder on my
PC broke off.
Help Desk: Huh? What do you mean "coffee cup holder"?
Macky: You know, that little shelf that slides in
and out when you push a button?
Help Desk: No, I don't understand. Please describe it.
Macky: It's on the front of the computer just below
the floppy drive and just above the power
switch, and when I press this button, a door
opens up and out comes the coffee cup holder.
Well, this morning, it broke off and spilled
coffee all over me and the computer.
Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, it's Macky
again. This time he broke off the disk carriage
on his CD-ROM.)
MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART V
Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, where is the "ANY" key on
my keyboard.
Help Desk: The "enny" key?
Macky: Yes that's the one. I can't find it.
Help Desk: I don't know what the hell you are talking about,
so please explain and give details.
Macky: Well, on my screen it says, "Press any key" and
I can't find it.
Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, this is it.
I've had it. You can take this job and shove it.
Carol Harker
Who is this Mackey character?
Does he know anything about Scanners?
dmi...@juno.com
I received unsolicited email from your buddy Roger Dobson.
Don't spout the crap that your innocent and don,t know anything about
it.
Too much of a coincidence to be a random mail as I have received several
of these.
Mycomsoftware (NETBLK-SPRINT-D01DDC)
14880 SW Mockingbird Court
Beaverton, OR 97007
US
Netname: SPRINT-D01DDC
Netblock: 208.29.220.0 - 208.29.220.255
Coordinator:
Dobson, Roger (RD60-ARIN) ro...@MYCOMSOFTWARE.COM
5035907457
Record last updated on 03-Apr-98.
Database last updated on 27-Jul-98 16:13:29 EDT.
Return-Path:
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Date:
Mon, 27 Jul 1998 05:13:19 -0500 (CDT)
Message-Id:
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To:
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Subject:
Affordable Medical & Dental Plan 1
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Your e-mail address ended up in my inbox as part of my In House List
because, you either e-mailed me, or was in the header of someone who
e-mailed me, or you are a member of a SAFE e-mail list such as, Spam me,
or Safe Address,etc...If this has reached you in error, please reply
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***
Bill Cheek
Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
Mime-Version: 1.0
Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
Ha ha ha ha ha..... among the best yet!
John Mackey - KA0SSF
> Who is this Mackey character?
I am someone who a few individuals dislike because I present truth
with contradicts the tale these few individuals want to believe
about their hero.
John Mackey - KA0SSF
> Hey mackey , your not so smart having your buddies send email bombs.
> I received unsolicited email from your buddy Roger Dobson.
> Don't spout the crap that your innocent and don,t know anything about
> it.
> Too much of a coincidence to be a random mail as I have received several
> of these.
>
> Mycomsoftware (NETBLK-SPRINT-D01DDC)
> 14880 SW Mockingbird Court
> Beaverton, OR 97007
IDIOT!
You got simple ADVERTISING SPAM!
If you don't like it, follow the directions of the way to remove
yourself
from the list which was at the bottom of the e-mail.
Othwise, bitch to the company "Mycomsoftware", not me!
Bill Cheek
Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
Mime-Version: 1.0
Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
har...@concentric.net (Carol Harker) wrote:
> That's pretty funny!
> Who is this Mackey character?
A cartooon character in a sense, not unlike
Wile E. Coyote, a type of masochist who
thrives on deep and profound pain.
An electronic warfare practitioner, he's been
wreaking havoc and consternation on the
denizens of this newsgroup for three years.
He fancies itself as a great benefactor to the
newsgroup; a messiah of some sort. I say
"itself", because it's a classic hermaphrodite
with a number of very serious mental and
physical disorders, chief of which is the
world's first documented case of a pseudo-female
brain inside a psuedo-male cranial cavity.
> Does he know anything about Scanners?
No, of course not. It prefers a world of
circular logic where sense and sensibility;
rhyme and reason; and linear logic are strangers.
It doesn't know its arse from any of the holes in
its face.....and to paraphrase what someone else
said today,.... neither do we. You can't tell
by looking, its mouth from its sweet patooty.
It knows nothing of scanners aside from the
"flatbed" type....and then only because "flat"
and "bed" are music to its ears.
It's a pitiful, warped, perverted life form that's
not accepted by any other life-form community on
the planet......a pariah, if you will....a
minuscule, pathetic, life support system for an
as yet to be determined perverse DNA combinatorial
scheme.
Look at it this way.....according to some other
testimony on this newsgroup, Mackey is said to
have suck-started a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
Need I say more?
Bill Cheek
Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
Mime-Version: 1.0
Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
John Mackey - KA0SSF <jma...@usa.net> wrote:
> dmi...@juno.com wrote:
>
> > Hey mackey , your not so smart having your buddies send email bombs.
> IDIOT!
>
> You got simple ADVERTISING SPAM!
But what you didn't tell him was that YOU forged
his name onto a request for the spam. That's
what the trail of evidence shows for sure.
And it looks like you did it to a lot of other
people, too.
> Othwise, bitch to the company "Mycomsoftware", not me!
No.....he went to the right "bitch: in the first place.
Did you tell him you were voted most popular bitch
in Cell Block 5 at the Oregon State pen?
No, of course not. You never tell the truth.
MAlexder
>Who is this Mackey character?
>
He's a trouble maker who MO includes a wide variety of distasteful activities.
He's mail bombed, flamed, forged, cancelled legimitate posts and so many other
activities, it is near impossible to keep up.
>Does he know anything about Scanners?
In the three years that he has been busy distrupting this newsgroup, he has
posted several thousand off-topic messages and only a handful that are remotely
related to scanning. He knows less than the typical beginner. Quite obviously,
his sole purpose is to cause trouble.
The CB Guy
>
> Carol Harker wrote:
> > Who is this Mackey character?
>
> with contradicts the tale these few individuals want to believe
> about their hero.
You left out protector of all, and mighty superhero.
I dislike you Mackey, not because of Bill Cheek or anyother on the ng,
but because you are an idiot. Plain and Simple.
Somehow you seem to have gotten the idea that we need you as the ng
NetCop. This is a mistaken idea.
Crawl back under your rock, show me that you can take it as well as you
can dish it out.
Shut Up, Go away, and return only to post Scanner Related items.
I bet 98% of the trouble goes away then.
Ignore Bill.....I know it's hard, because you're so infatuated with
him....But ignore him.
I hope you understand this Mackey...I typed as slow as I could, so you
wouldn't have to read tooo fast.
Once again I challange ya....and I'm sure once again you'll decline on
some assinine sidenote.
lets see........
The Cb Guy
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ridge/8467/cbradio.htm
Please update any links to my old Webpage address.
KA0SSF
> But what you didn't tell him was that YOU forged
No, I didn't!
> his name onto a request for the spam. That's
> what the trail of evidence shows for sure.
OK Bill, put up or shut up! Show us "what the trail of
evidence shows" or be proven to be a lying FOOL!
KA0SSF
> I dislike you Mackey, not because of Bill Cheek or anyother on the ng,
Do you thing I really care if YOU like or dislike me?
KA0SSF
> He's mail bombed, flamed, forged, cancelled legimitate posts and so many other
How and when have I bombed, flamed, forged, & cancelled posts? Please
be specific.
> In the three years that he has been busy distrupting this newsgroup, he has
Another lie!
I only came on this NG a couple weeks over 2 years ago!
dmi...@juno.com
bombs.
Maybe you will finally convince yourself of that but your not going to
convince me or anyone else on this newsgroup your not the perpatrator of
them.
It seems strange I was able to trace it back to Beaverton Oregon.
Oh I forgot you don't live in Beaverton.
Thats ok sprint security is investigating and will see what happens to
your buddy Roger.
> Mycomsoftware (NETBLK-SPRINT-D01DDC)
> 14880 SW Mockingbird Court
> Beaverton, OR 97007
John T. Arthur
> Carol Harker wrote:
> > Who is this Mackey character?
>
> I am someone who a few individuals dislike because I present truth
> with contradicts the tale these few individuals want to believe
> about their hero.
Actually, people dislike you because you don't know what you're talking
about! And you won't stop talking!!
Some assembly required.
Batteries not included.
Void where prohibited.
John T. Arthur
You must care - you responded to his post!!
KA0SSF
> Actually, people dislike you because you don't know what you're talking
> about! And you won't stop talking!!
You must be looking in the mirror again.
KA0SSF
> mackey you just keep telling yourself that your not behind the mail
> bombs.
> Maybe you will finally convince yourself of that but your not going to
> convince me or anyone else on this newsgroup your not the perpatrator of
> them.
Obviously you don't need any facts to convince you of anything
as indicated by this baseless accusation you are making.
> It seems strange I was able to trace it back to Beaverton Oregon.
> Oh I forgot you don't live in Beaverton.
That's right, I don't live in Beaverton.
> Thats ok sprint security is investigating and will see what happens to
Cool, go for it! now maybe you are on the right track!
dmi...@juno.com
been saying right along.
The truth finally comes out and I was right when I said you lived in
Portland.
It also places you places you within driving distance of the community
colleges that the forged post and cancellations came from.
And you also must be lying when you stated that your a licensed amatuer
radio operator.
Since you don't live in Bevearton this must be someone else.
Callsign: KA0SSF Rec#:59863 Type:I F:0002
Name: JOHN E MACKEY JR
Addr1: PO BOX 1586
Addr2: BEAVERTON OR 97075-1586
Country: USA
Class: Extra
Effective: 24 Oct 1994
Expires: 14 Aug 2000
Zip Coords: 0.000 S 0.000 W Washington
County
Email: jma...@usa.net
Update email address
And this must be you John Mackey Jr
Portland,OR 97208
(503)626-7399
KA0SSF
> I finally got you to admit you don't live in Beaverton like you have
> been saying right along.
I've never said I live in Beaverton!
> The truth finally comes out and I was right when I said you lived in
> Portland.
I CERTIANLY don't live in Portland!
I live in NEITHER Beaverton or Portland, but in an area close to
either city. (Say within 20 miles)
> It also places you places you within driving distance of the community
> colleges that the forged post and cancellations came from.
Along with several million other people.
> And you also must be lying when you stated that your a licensed amatuer
> radio operator.
> Since you don't live in Bevearton this must be someone else.
You must be STUPID! Just because my PO Box is in Beaverton! HOW THE
HELL COULD I LIVE IN A PO BOX?
Look below IDIOT, my address for my ham license CLEARLY shows
a PO BOX! It also indicates a residence of Washington County.
Washington County is to the west of Portland, with Hillsboro
as the county seat. Beaverton is ONE of the towns in that county
along with Tigard, Forest Grove, Tualatin, Banks, King City,
Sherwood, etc!
dmi...@juno.com
>
> dmi...@juno.com wrote:
>
> > I finally got you to admit you don't live in Beaverton like you have
> > been saying right along.
>
> I've never said I live in Beaverton!
>
> > The truth finally comes out and I was right when I said you lived in
> > Portland.
>
> I CERTIANLY don't live in Portland!
>
> I live in NEITHER Beaverton or Portland, but in an area close to
> either city. (Say within 20 miles)
>
> > It also places you places you within driving distance of the community
> > colleges that the forged post and cancellations came from.
>
> Along with several million other people.
>
Wrong mackey, when people stated you were within driving distance of one
of the colleges you told them it was too far a drive from Beaverton.
You lie so much that your now having trouble keeping up with all the
lies you have told on here.
You are the one who is stupid in thinking people on here don't remember
the crap that you spew out of your mouth and that all of it is lies.
You lied about the warrant and having proof that one existed, you lied
when you said you were not doing the mail bombings.
I guess the truth hurts and now you have to call people stupid and ass
because you can't get away from the truth as your lies have finally
caught up with you.
And don't say show you the posting , if you want to see it you do the
the search on dejanews.
>
KA0SSF
> Wrong mackey, when people stated you were within driving distance of one
> of the colleges you told them it was too far a drive from Beaverton.
>
> You lie so much that your now having trouble keeping up with all the
> lies you have told on here.
It's all relative. I don't live in any incorperated area. On a clear
day, if I stand in just the right spot I can see Beaverton.
The person who was asking where I was from was in California. To
give a person a vague idea of where I am at I might have said
Beaverton which is accurate to within 20 miles or so.
> You lied about the warrant and having proof that one existed,
NO, I NEVER said there was a warrant. Infact, I stated that we should
ignore the word of a warrant unless we get proof.
dmi...@juno.com
In article <35C15F...@parg.org>,
All you can do is lie mackey, it was not someone from California, it was one
of the people that you were forging post and doing rouge cancels on . If they
want to referesh your memory they can or you can do your own searching and
find the post.
Just keep on lying as it is catching up with you, many more people on the
newsgroup are now seeing what a filthy liar you are . People on here don't
believe any of the crap your spewing, you and your buddy Roger have been
caught doing the email bombs. Both of you figured you could get away with it
and not be traced but as you can see it was traced right back to the source.
And as for the warrant you know your guilty of that lie too and your just
trying to side step the issue by adding some more lies saying your only
defending Bill.
Most of us on the newsgroup know how you feel about Bill and if you were to
see him drowning instead of throwing him a life preserver you would throw him
anchor so stop with the lies of you were only defending Bill. People on here
are not stupid , if anyone is stupid it is you for thinking people are going
to believe the crap your posting.
>
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
John T. Arthur
> dmi...@juno.com wrote:
>
> > Wrong mackey, when people stated you were within driving distance of one
> > of the colleges you told them it was too far a drive from Beaverton.
> >
> > You lie so much that your now having trouble keeping up with all the
> > lies you have told on here.
>
> It's all relative. I don't live in any incorperated area. On a clear
> day, if I stand in just the right spot I can see Beaverton.
>
> The person who was asking where I was from was in California. To
> give a person a vague idea of where I am at I might have said
> Beaverton which is accurate to within 20 miles or so.
You stated quite clearly that you lived in Beaverton. If you actually
don't, you lied - and you should clear that up with the FCC, doncha think?
They need to know PRECISELY where you live for licensing purposes.
> > You lied about the warrant and having proof that one existed,
>
> NO, I NEVER said there was a warrant. Infact, I stated that we should
> ignore the word of a warrant unless we get proof.
Actually, you DID say there was a warrant - and you continue to say it by
referring to it.
KA0SSF
> Actually, you DID say there was a warrant - and you continue to say it by
> referring to it.
No, I said that OTHER people said there was a warrant. YOU
are saying there is a warrant by referring to it over & over
& over as nearly everyone else has forgotten about it or is
ignoring it.
KA0SSF
> If they
> want to referesh your memory they can or you can do your own searching and
> find the post.
"THEY" better do it then because I am not going to do someone else's
work.
> And as for the warrant you know your guilty of that lie too and your just
> trying to side step the issue by adding some more lies saying your only
> defending Bill.
I've always said there was NO PROOF to support the accusation so we
should ignore the issue unless someone presents verifiable facts to
support the accusation. Are you trying to say that it is a lie
that without facts we should ignore the accusation?
> Most of us on the newsgroup know how you feel about Bill and if you were to
> see him drowning instead of throwing him a life preserver you would throw him
> anchor so stop with
I don't hate Bill or wish to see him harm. Your statement is incorrect.
dmi...@juno.com
>
> dmi...@juno.com wrote:
>
> > If they
> > want to referesh your memory they can or you can do your own searching and
> > find the post.
>
> "THEY" better do it then because I am not going to do someone else's
> work.
>
> > And as for the warrant you know your guilty of that lie too and your just
> > trying to side step the issue by adding some more lies saying your only
> > defending Bill.
>
> I've always said there was NO PROOF to support the accusation so we
> should ignore the issue unless someone presents verifiable facts to
> support the accusation. Are you trying to say that it is a lie
> that without facts we should ignore the accusation?
>
instead of your dancing around like you have been for months when asked
about the warrant and whether there was any proof of it.
You have known there was not any warrant out for Bill and that the
accusations you and obfd made were false.
You have known this since April 6th of 1998 and yet continued bringing
up the accusations.
See you have so many lies going you forget the post that you make .
As the post you made back to Jack Anderson below, and that is fact and
proof that what you are doing is nothing more then a personal vendetta,
you and the great obfd made up the story about the warrant to make
others turn against Bill from your accusations.
Subject: Re: John Mackey admits wrongdoing!
From: Jack Anderson <jan...@home.com>
Date: 1998/04/07
Message-ID: <3529EAD0...@home.com>
Newsgroups:
rec.radio.scanner,alt.radio.cb,alt.radio.scanner,rec.radio.ham
[More Headers]
[Subscribe to rec.radio.scanner]
:-)
-=KA0SSF=- wrote:
>
> Hey Jack, I posted & you replied all before monday morning (during the
> weekend). How did you do the check for this, or are you lying?
>
>
> Jack Anderson wrote:
> > John, The warrants for arrest are put out by the Marshals and there is
> > not one for Mr. Cheek in the system.
>
> > Most of us on the newsgroup know how you feel about Bill and if you were to
> > see him drowning instead of throwing him a life preserver you would throw him
> > anchor so stop with
>
> I don't hate Bill or wish to see him harm. Your statement is incorrect.
Yeah right mackey and that is why you are keeping your crap up and
attacking Bill on the newsgroup because you like him and want to be
friends.
mackey you are nothing but a compulsive liar and will do anything to try
and ruin someones reputation for imagined wrongs done to you.
You need to stop your crap and slither away from whence you came and
leave the newsgroup alone.
George Vetterle
<snip>
>
>You must be STUPID! Just because my PO Box is in Beaverton! HOW THE
>HELL COULD I LIVE IN A PO BOX?
Well, you *are* a mental midget. Heh, Heh, Heh!
--
George "Hollywood" Vetterle
geo...@thevision.net
"Badges? We ain't got no badges!
We don't need no badges! I don't
have to show you any stinking badges!"-
Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya), THE TREASURE
OF THE SIERRA MADRE, (1948) Warner Bros.
KA0SSF
> You have known there was not any warrant out for Bill and that the
> accusations you and obfd made were false.
The only accusation I made was that without verifiable proof we
should ignore the statement of Bill Cheek molesting children. Are
you now saying I was wrong to say that?
Regarding statements of "obfd", you need to talk to him about those.
> As the post you made back to Jack Anderson below, and that is fact and
> proof that what you are doing is nothing more then a personal vendetta,
> you and the great obfd made up the story about the warrant to make
> others turn against Bill from your accusations.
So WHERE was the "proof" you refer to?
dmi...@juno.com
ignore.
You go find your buddy and fellow liar obfd , that way you both can have
tell the same lie about the warrant.
Your a liar pure and simple and there is no way you can dance around
that fact.
You can keep cutting and pasting all you want to change the content of
the postings to suit your needs and lies.
But there is one thing you keep forgetting, the original posts are still
available which proves you are a liar.
Fire Chief
Ka> No, I said that OTHER people said there was a warrant.
You asked if anyone knew of a warrant for Cheek's arrest.
YOU, and YOU alone, implied that there was such a warrant for Cheek.
You did ___NOT___ say you had heard about it from anyone else.
Stuff THAT up your tailpipe, jackass.
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
---
| WarpGate: Fire Chief 52:1000/211
| Internet: fire....@warpgate.com
| The WarpGate Network Internet Gateway El Cajon, CA.
Fire Chief
Ka> Do you thing I really care if YOU like or dislike me?
As long as your mammy is changing your diapers and
nursing you at her tit, you're happy I suppose.
Ian Antiwue
> @cts.com
> Organization: COMMtronics Engineering & World Scanner Report
> Mime-Version: 1.0
> Reply-To: bch...@san.rr.com
> Newsgroups: rec.radio.scanner
> > That's pretty funny!
> Wile E. Coyote, a type of masochist who
> thrives on deep and profound pain.
> An electronic warfare practitioner, he's been
> wreaking havoc and consternation on the
> denizens of this newsgroup for three years.
> He fancies itself as a great benefactor to the
> newsgroup; a messiah of some sort. I say
> "itself", because it's a classic hermaphrodite
> with a number of very serious mental and
> physical disorders, chief of which is the
> world's first documented case of a pseudo-female
> brain inside a psuedo-male cranial cavity.
> circular logic where sense and sensibility;
> rhyme and reason; and linear logic are strangers.
> It doesn't know its arse from any of the holes in
> its face.....and to paraphrase what someone else
> said today,.... neither do we. You can't tell
> by looking, its mouth from its sweet patooty.
> It knows nothing of scanners aside from the
> "flatbed" type....and then only because "flat"
> and "bed" are music to its ears.
> It's a pitiful, warped, perverted life form that's
> not accepted by any other life-form community on
> the planet......a pariah, if you will....a
> minuscule, pathetic, life support system for an
> as yet to be determined perverse DNA combinatorial
> scheme.
> Look at it this way.....according to some other
> testimony on this newsgroup, Mackey is said to
> have suck-started a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
> Need I say more?
You're very intelligent. From where are you what's your name?
Ian Antiwue
Rushil Ambarish Kadu
> Here is some more funny jokes about John Mackey.
> MACKY AND THE HELP DESK
> John Macky called in a trouble report to his
> company's Help Desk when his computer wouldn't
> turn on. The troubleshooter found that Macky
> had plugged his power strip back into itself
> and didn't understand why there was no power.
>
> MACKY AND THE FAX MACHINE
> Macky: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
> Secretary: "A little. What's wrong?"
> Macky: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called
> back to say all he received was a cover-sheet
> and a blank page. I tried it again, and the
> same thing happened."
> Secretary: "How did you load the sheet?"
> Macky: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
> anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded
> it so only the recipient would open it and read it."
>
> MACKY AND A DEAD BATTERY
> John Macky was found weeping and crying his heart out
> beside his car. "Do you need some help?", a passerby
> asked. Macky replied, "I knew I should have replaced
> the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
> get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
> convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
> The passerby replied, "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
> alarm, too?"
> "No, just this remote thingy," Macky answered, handing it
> and the car keys to the passerby, who took the key and
> manually unlocked the door, and replied, "Why don't you
> just drive over there and check on the batteries...it's
> a long walk."
>
> MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART II
> Help Desk: What does the screen say now?
> Macky: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.
> Help Desk: Well?
> Macky: How do I know when it's ready?
>
> MACKY WORKS AT AN INSURANCE COMPANY
> George Jones called his car insurance company to tell them
> to change his address from Texas to Vermont. John Macky,
> who took the call asked where Vermont was. As George tried
> to explain, Macky interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid
> or anything, just tell me what state it's in?"
>
> MACKY THE TYPIST
> Several years ago John Macky was typing and turned to a
> secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
> What do I do?" "Just use copier paper," she told him.
> With that, Macky took his last remaining blank piece of
> paper, put it on the copier and made five blank copies.
>
> MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART III
> One day one John Macky called the computer help desk
> and asked if anything "bad" would happen if he dropped
> coins into the openings of his PC. The Help Desk asked
> if this was something he was thinking of doing. Macky
> snorted, "never mind" and hung up. Suspicious, the Help
> Desk tech got out his trusty tool kit and paid Macky a
> visit. Opening Macky's CPU case, sure enough, there
> was 40 cents.
>
> MACKY GETS SYSADMIN JOB
> John Macky once got a job as a System Admininstrator and
> one of HIS servers crashed. He inserted a CD and needed
> to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started
> to type it and paused, and asked a nearby secretary, "Where
> on the keyboard is that line thing?" The secretary asked
> what the hell he was talking about, and Macky mumbled,
> "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
> exclamation mark." The secretary replied, "You mean the
> letter 'i'?" Macky replied, "Yeah, that's it!"
>
> MACKY AT HOME
> John Macky had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
> Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator,
> making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was
> attached. He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was
> unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first.
> His landlord, investigating weird noises, found Macky
> thrashing and rolling back and forth on the kitchen floor.
>
> MACKY'S MOTOR HOME
> John Macky's large motorhome was towed into the garage.
> The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
> the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
> The service manager asked what had happened. Macky replied
> that he had set the cruise control, then went in back to
> make a sandwich.
>
> MACKY ONCE WAS A SECRETARY
> I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. John Macky
> answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
>
> MACKY AT HOME - PART II
> Curious, John Macky called Blockbuster and mentioned that
> before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying,
> "This movie has been altered to fit your television screen."
> Macky then added: "How do they know what size screen I have?
>
> MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART IV
> Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, the coffee cup holder on my
> PC broke off.
> Help Desk: Huh? What do you mean "coffee cup holder"?
> Macky: You know, that little shelf that slides in
> and out when you push a button?
> Help Desk: No, I don't understand. Please describe it.
> Macky: It's on the front of the computer just below
> the floppy drive and just above the power
> switch, and when I press this button, a door
> opens up and out comes the coffee cup holder.
> Well, this morning, it broke off and spilled
> coffee all over me and the computer.
> Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, it's Macky
> again. This time he broke off the disk carriage
> on his CD-ROM.)
> MACKY AND THE HELP DESK - PART V
> Macky: Hello, Help Desk? Uhh, where is the "ANY" key on
> my keyboard.
> Help Desk: The "enny" key?
> Macky: Yes that's the one. I can't find it.
> Help Desk: I don't know what the hell you are talking about,
> so please explain and give details.
> Macky: Well, on my screen it says, "Press any key" and
> I can't find it.
> Help Desk: Wait a minute......(Pssst, hey Boss, this is it.
> I've had it. You can take this job and shove it.
Nice one.