John Leslie - Signing Off
Steve Crowley
the San Diego Union-Tribune, there's a quote that's a classic. No, not
classic rock. More like something that echoes classic tragedy. What comes to
mind for me is Brutus shifting from his assassin's role to deliver a
stirring eulogy for Julius Caesar.
"The KGB family really misses him," Little said. "John and KGB were the
perfect marriage."
The reason it bugs me is that "Little," as in KGB-FM Program Director Todd
Little, is the same guy who fired the John Leslie he now praises lavishly.
Et tu, Todd?
Is this post-mortem hyperbole? Plain old hypocrisy? Or could it be that the
head of "the KGB family" really is dumb enough to file for divorce from a
"perfect marriage?"
That kind of painful "Pretzel Logic" could go along way to explain the 3
share. But dealing with the way it ravages radio is why I've had to spend
way too many hours listening to a single Steely Dan cut on infinite loop:
"When the demon is at your door, in the mornin' it won't be there no more.
Any major dude will tell you."
Right now that CD is still very warm, and though the world feels much
colder, I am thankful I can play the song as many times as each new outrage
requires.
John Leslie and I shared four sets of call letters on our individual long
strange trips: KGB-FM and KPRI San Diego, KLOS Los Angeles, and KTYD Santa
Barbara. He was brilliant at what he did, but when no longer allowed to do
it John lost more than just a job. Any specific medical cause the coroner
could write on his death certificate will fail to note that being thrown
away by his last radio station is what killed his spirit. And God help us,
we all face that same demon at our door.
The periodic unemployment which accompanies "Life In The Air Age" forces
every would be talent to take a hard look at who we are, and how much of our
self image is tied up in what we do. For those who wrestle with non-media
dependencies, as John did, involuntary withdrawal from radio complicates
questions of self esteem.
If, as the slogan John Leslie pasted on his locker door read, "You're only
as good as your last show," what are you when there is no more show?
John's answer, distorted as it was by drink, denial, depression and despair,
was "grim enough to make a robot cry." Deprived of his daily dose of air
time, the man who believed the bumper sticker found it was all too short a
journey from being "a holy man on the FM radio" to sliding "down, down, down
the dark ladder."
If only he'd found the truth in Kate Bush's angelic reassurance:
Don't give up, 'cause you have friends
Don't give up, you're not the only one
Don't give up, no reason to be ashamed
Don't give up, you still have us
Don't give up now, we're proud of who you are
Don't give up, you know it's never been easy
Don't give up, 'cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong
In a Spring 1997 interview with Radio & Records CHR Editor Tony Novia,
"passion, intelligence and focus" were what then Jacor President Randy
Michaels enumerated as qualities essential to stay afloat in the radio
talent pool he planned to drain.
John Leslie certainly had all three, but his intelligence told him the lack
of focus inherent in doing shows voice-tracked the day before and shipped
hundreds of miles away to places he wouldn't be and couldn't see -- computer
augmented with elements he'd never hear -- assembled for listeners he'd only
talk at and never with -- was not
something which could sustain passion in either announcer or audience.
Of course such attitudes, not tolerated in the new order, are punished. For
in this age's version of the ancient tale, the emperor beheads those who
don't share his opinion of the new clothes while stock market sector
analysts cheer the executioner.
Some giants are recognized too late. When given his chance to carve memories
out of empty time, this one made more than a transitory impression. Those
who heard him knew John Leslie as one who truly believed in the potential of
an immediate and intimate medium, and proved its power daily. Those who
point to the deep footsteps he left note with pride that he never crushed
anyone in the process of making his mark.
The loss (or perhaps more rightly the martyrdom) of John Leslie puts an all
too human face on the true cost of this change, for he was far more deeply
loved than he was deeply flawed.
Steve Crowley
(KGB News Brother emeritus / disgusted former Clear Channel stockholder)
Song quotes:
"Any Major Dude" by Steely Dan, Pretzel Logic, 1974
"Life In The Air Age" by Be Bop Deluxe, Sunburst Finish, 1976
"Rainy Night House"by Joni Mitchell, Ladies Of The Canyon, 1970
"Cold Blue Steel And Sweet Fire" by Joni Mitchell, For The Roses, 1972
"Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel, So, 1986
and below
"Tears of Rage" by Bob Dylan, Basement Tapes, 1975
.... as previously posted to All Access Net Talk BB:
"John Leslie"
There was a time we'd turn to you, old friend,
and you'd know what to do.
We'd look for solace in a song
upon getting this kind of news.
You were there to voice what we could feel
when heroes fell to demons real
enough to them, 'though some unkind
would claim, “They’re only in the mind.”
Who’s left to give voice to our grief
now that the news is about you?
If I reach back to FM’s free form age
and cue up Dylan’s “Tears Of Rage”
would it capture what was in your heart
before that fall so final?
I don’t know. But if I didn’t try
there’d be yet another cause to cry,
so pardon all the scratches folks...
this one's on ancient vinyl:
"It was all very painless
When you went out to receive
All that false instruction
Which we never could believe.
And now the heart is filled with gold
As if it was a purse.
But, oh, what kind of love is this
Which goes from bad to worse?
Tears of rage, tears of grief,
Must I always be the thief?
Come to me now, you know
We're so low
And life is brief."
Goodbye, John.
Steve Crowley - KGB News Brother
01/13/2000 3:18:14 AM, Message#24574
===
Read all about it from other sources:
RadioDigest-dot-com's John Fox - including quotes from our mutual first
source at:
www.radiodigest.com/san_diego/sd_news/2000/sd_011300_fox1.htm
>>...very sad news to report. Former KGB air talent John Leslie was found in
the shower of his home Tuesday 1/11. Apparently, he'd been dead about a
week. Friends say John had been drinking heavily since being fired from KGB
last summer... <<
I took the initiative to confirm the story before Fox published. There was
nothing available at the time on sites for San Diego TV stations, the
Union-Tribune or KOGO whose "news radio" web page is dominated by links to
other sources. But more than three hours prior to Fox's email, KFMB's Mike
Berger said:
>>>No official word as to the cause, but those of us who knew attribute (it)
to alcohol abuse and lack of nutrition. He had lost an incredible (a)mount
of weight and was having physical problems we think coincided with poor
nutrition. Worst of all, those that tried to intervene were rebuffed with
denial.<<<
And the story as reported by Randy Dotinga in the "Static" radio column -
from the North County Times "Preview" (Weekly Arts and Entertainment
Magazine) January 14-20, 2000 edition - is available through 1/19 at --
http://www.nctimes.com/preview/radio.html -- under the headline:
"KGB mourns a classic rock talent; San Diego has lost one of its best radio
voices."
The major paper in San Diego finally caught up Saturday:
http://www.union-trib.com/news/metro/20000115-0010_1m15leslie.html
You already know how I feel about the Little quotes.
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d drove to Johns apartment to provide moral support and to just let him h
ad known how talented he really was. Those of you who are reading this I h
ope that you get out of the station with that kind of bad aura-I have been
at many in my 50 year carraer and walked away before being consumed (and st
ole alot of records on my way out the door)
I, as a professional who has reached the top knew tha tmany KGB peers made
little or no effort to vent, drink or whatever once he had been dropped ove
r for moral suppor this may have not have happen...We Miss You John Leslie